A one-shot I've been sitting on for a while, but left about three-fourths finished. Sat down tonight and finished it up. I debated for a long time how I wanted to take this and tonight my muse insisted this route.
Hope you enjoy.
"I like when we have dinner together," Maura confessed in a soft voice with a smile. "My mother and I never did that while I was growing up. It's nice."
"I like it, too. You're delightful, Maura," Angela replied with a smile. "I hope you realise that. You're kind of like the daughter I never got to have."
Maura interjected, "But Jane –"
Angela held up her hand, stopping her. "I don't say that to disregard Jane at all. She was just always too independent and tomboy-ish to want to ever have dinner with me. I wanted her to be girlier and as a result, she didn't like spending as much time with me."
"I'm sorry," Maura replied.
"Oh, sweetie. I've pretty much gotten over it," Angela explained. "It took me many years to realise that's what it was, though I was very upset at the time. She makes more of an effort now and that's all that matters."
"I take it Jane is slightly girlier than she used to be," Maura smirked, taking a bite of lasagna.
"Yes, she is. I have a good idea why too," Angela smiled back.
"Because she finally realised she's actually very attractive?" Maura surmised.
"No, but that's a good point. I think Jane knows on some level that she's very beautiful. I just think she doesn't want to acknowledge it because she doesn't want attention – at least not that kind of attention. But that's not the reason I was thinking of, honestly," Angela replied.
"Well she is very attractive," Maura commented, looking down at her plate.
"Maura," Angela said simply.
Maura felt her face flush and she peeked up at Angela.
"She does it because of you, you know," Angela stated. "You've been a very good influence on her."
Maura stayed silent as she looked back down at her food, gently trying to cut a piece of lasagna off with only a fork. She felt nervous about where this conversation could be heading.
"Why won't you tell her?" the older woman asked quietly, putting her fork down on the side of the plate.
Looking up from her food, Maura's brow furrowed and she replied, "I'm sorry. Tell her what? That I'm a good influence on her?"
"Tell her that you have feelings for her."
The reddish blonde was visibly shocked at Angela's words and almost dropped her fork. "Angela, I don't think that we should—"
"Please," Angela replied. "I may be getting older, but I'm not blind."
Maura took a deep breath and set her own fork on her plate. "I really don't want to dis—"
"Well that's too bad," Angela interrupted again. "We're going to."
Again, Maura stayed silent, not willing to volunteer any more information than necessary.
Angela repeated, "Why won't you tell her?"
"It's complicated" was the only reply.
"Of course it's complicated. Love is always complicated, Maura."
A few seconds passed.
"Are you afraid she doesn't feel the same way?" Angela asked. Maura looked up at these words and there were tears in the corners of her eyes. "Because honey, let me tell you, I know my Janie. And she has never looked at anyone the way she looks at you. Not even Casey."
"How does she look at me?" Maura asked quietly.
"Like no one else in her life before ever mattered now that she has you."
"If I tell her, she'll just run, Angela," the blonde replied. "I can't risk losing her."
Angela sighed. "And I'm telling you that you won't lose her. She might be shocked, of course, and her first instinct may very well be to run, but she won't because she already knows what it's like to be without you and believe me, she won't ever want to feel that way again."
"Angela, I don't know," Maura replied, suddenly overwhelmed. "I just...I can't lose her again."
Angela reached for both of Maura's hands on the table. "I'm telling you that you absolutely will not lose her. But I don't think she has any idea that you feel the same way and she's never going to say anything, Maura, because she probably thinks she'll just be embarrassed. I don't want my baby to spend the rest of her life pining away for something she thinks she can't have."
Maura took a deep breath and closed her eyes, a lone tear escaping down her cheek.
Patting Maura's hands, Angela continued quietly, "You may not have started out in life as my daughter like Jane, but you're mine now, too. And I don't want you to spend the rest of your life pining away from something you think you can't have, either. Tell her."
Just then, Maura's door swung open abruptly and Jane stepped through.
Angela and Maura's heads whipped toward the direction of the door in shock.
Jane looked at Maura and her mother sitting across from each other at the dining room table, her mother's hands on top of Maura's. Even from the door, she could see Maura's slightly red face.
"Wait, is this girl time? Should I just go back to my place?" Jane asked in a frenzy, pointing with her thumb back toward the door, and started to turn around.
Maura took the opportunity to quickly wipe the evidence of tears off her face before Jane turned back around.
"No, don't go. It's fine," Angela refuted. "Maura and I were just having dinner, but we're pretty much finished. I'll leave you girls alone. I have some shows to catch up on anyway."
Jane turned back around as Angela picked up her half empty plate and walked around the table toward Maura. Angela pressed a kiss to the top of Maura's head and whispered low enough that she knew Jane wouldn't hear. "Just tell her, dear." Then she continued her way to the kitchen.
"Maura, I'm going to cover this with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. I'll come by later and pack it up, if that's alright?" she asked as she pulled out some Saran wrap, covering the plate and placing it in the refrigerator.
Maura smiled warmly at Angela, "Yes, that's fine."
"I'll see you girls later!" Angela replied as she then breezed out the side door to return to the guest house.
Jane then looked to Maura and cocked her head to the side. "Um, what was that all about? It was like Ma couldn't wait to get out of here."
As Maura's face flushed and she swallowed hard, Jane's expression then became confused. "Maur? What the hell's going on?"
Maura was unsure how to answer without simply spewing out, "I'm in love with you!" so she opted for safety and skirted around the "issue" she and Angela has just been discussing. "Your mother and I have dinner together from time to time, just the two of us. I never really had that growing up, you know, so it's something that Angela and I just...started doing together."
"Bonding time with my mother?" Jane deadpanned, her voice flat, except at the end. "Not even me and Frankie do that. Or Tommy for that matter."
"Well, our relationship has a different dynamic than yours. Does it bother you that I have 'mother-daughter' time with your mother?" Maura asked pointedly, standing and picking up her plate before heading to the kitchen, closer to Jane.
Maura sat her plate beside the sink, with a fourth of her lasagna still left on it. She turned back around and stepped up to the island, across from Jane on the other side of it.
Jane was regarding Maura's expressions closely, distinctly noticing the emphases in Maura's words. To her, Maura looked defensive, ready to strike if Jane so provoked her. "What? No. Why would that bother me?"
"Why interrogate me about it if it doesn't bother you?" Maura countered.
"Why are you getting defensive, Maura?" Jane threw up her hands in defeat.
Maura closed her eyes and took a deep cleansing breath before speaking again. Opening her eyes to find Jane scrutinising her even more, she released her breath. "I'm sorry. Your mother just asked me some," Maura hesitated, "personal questions that bothered me a little bit."
Jane's lips twitched in slight disgust. "Ew. Did she ask you about sex stuff? I hate when Ma tries to ask me stuff about my sex life."
"No, she didn't ask me about sex," Maura answered quickly.
"Oh, well then what would she ask about that would fluster you so much?" asked the brunette, genuinely curious.
Realising she was simply going to have to bite the bullet and satisfy Jane's curiosity somehow, Maura glanced away from Jane's gaze before replying. "She asked me why I won't just tell the person I've developed romantic feelings for that I, well, am having those feelings."
"Wait, you're in love with somebody and you didn't tell me?" Jane replied, aghast and throwing out her hands in a 'what the hell' gesture. "I'm your best friend! You're supposed to tell me these things and you're telling me my mother knows and I don't?" Jane gestured to herself with her left hand.
"I didn't know that she knew, Jane!" the red-blonde huffed. "But now I wonder who else knows if she knows!"
"Okay, so how about you tell me," Jane replied slowly, "so I'm not last to know, huh? It'd be nice to be in the loop in case Frost or Korsak or somebody ever asked me about it, so I can avoid looking like an idiot best friend."
"I couldn't bring myself to tell you," Maura replied, looking down at the island between them, ashamed and on the verge of tears.
Jane caught Maura's shame though and was moving around to Maura's side of the island in a flash. Grabbing Maura's hand, she made the shorter woman turn to face her and with her left hand, lifted Maura's chin, forcing her to look her in the eyes. "Hey, what's all that about? Why would you feel guilty about having feelings for someone?"
Maura blinked and a single tear escaped down her cheek. "You," she breathed out.
"What? I made you feel guilty about being in love with someone? I don't understand. I don't even know who it is, so how could I –" Jane began, and then stopping suddenly as realisation dawned. "Wait, no. Please don't tell me you still like Tommy."
"No, Jane," Maura replied. "It isn't Tommy. Or Frankie either."
At Maura's look of despair, Jane felt her heart simply melt when she finally truly realised. "Oh, Maura," Jane replied softly, her voice raspy and her eyes searching Maura's hazel ones, which were glistening with tears. "Why didn't you say something?"
"Why?" Maura answered softly, sniffling. "So you can proceed to tell me that you're only attracted to men, or that you don't feel comfortable being friends anymore knowing how I feel about you? Or both?"
"No, Maur," Jane refuted in the same soft voice. "No. Say something so I can do what I've been wanting to do for the last two years, but didn't have the guts to do."
"And what would that be?"
Jane smiled, placing her hands on Maura's hips and stepping closer. She glanced down at her best friend's lips and then back to her eyes before finally pressing her own lips against the blonde's.