Once upon a time, on a Greek warship far, far, away, there lived a girl named Hazel who was very ashamed of herself.

A few weeks ago, Hazel kissed Frank on the cheek while they were on an airplane.

For some weird reason, now Frank thought that Hazel actually loved her! Being the sweet girl that she was, Hazel decided to give Frank a bit of a chance, but within a few days, she realized what a fat idiot he was! She couldn't believe that Frank had trusted her so much as to give her his stick of life!

Hazel thought and thought. She knew in her heart that she really loved Leo, but she was such a sweet girl that she couldn't just let Frank watch her and Leo kiss or something like that. So, Hazel did the right thing. She invited Leo to her room on the ArgoII and asked him if he could summon some fire. Leo obeyed and his hand burst to flame, and Hazel unwrapped all of the cloth and bubble wrap that had been tied around Frank's stick of life. Hazel tossed the stick into the flame and watched as it burned and turned into ash. Hazel's heart did a little happy dance.

Leo asked Hazel why she had been carrying around a stick in her pocket.

Hazel said that she had thought the stick had been keeping someone alive, but it had turned out to be nobody.

Meanwhile, Frank was being a fat pig in the kitchen, smothering more grape jelly on his brownies. Suddenly, his hand hand fell off.

"Oh, my." he said to himself. "I seem to have lost my hand." He was such an idiot he tried to stick it back on, but it just fell to the floor, splattering blood everywhere.

A few seconds later, Coach Hedge walked in.

"Frank!" he barked. "Why are you getting blood all over the floor? Clean it up, you idiot!"

"But Coach," Frank stuttered. "I've lost my hand. I can't clean it up."

"Use your OTHER hand, then!" Coach yelled. But just then, his other hand fell to the floor!

"Oh, my," Frank said. "I seem to have lost my OTHER hand. Coach, can you hand me some glue?"

Coach did, but Frank couldn't seem to grab the glue for some weird reason. Then it occurred to him that he couldn't grab it because he had lost his hand, and therefore had nothing to grab the glue with. That made more sense. Just then, Annabeth walked into the room.

"What's going on?" she asked. Frank said that each of his hands had fallen off.

"Well, I can see that, you idiot. I'm just asking, why would you cut your own hands off?" she said. Frank scratched his head. Well, kind of scratched. It's hard when you don't have hands.

Frank tried to think. He didn't remember cutting his hands off. But then again, he had a really bad memory. He looked at Annabeth and shrugged. As he did so, both of his arms fell out of the sockets!

Annabeth's eyes went wide as she watched Franks legs melting off, too! Before long, all he was was a head, sitting on the floor, looking up at the counter for his brownie.

"Hmmmm..." Frank said. "Why am I laying here on the floor? I can't seem to get up to reach my brownie."

Coach walked up to the counter and grabbed a brownie. He then crouched down and placed the brownie in Frank's mouth. He chewed and swallowed. Or he tried to swallow. Its pretty hard when you don't have a throat.

The whole time Annabeth was standing in the corner wondering how this was scientifically possible. She thought about running for help, but then decided that Frank would be better off just a head. Heads didn't take up nearly as much space as fat bodies.

Then, Frank's head melted into the floor, leaving nothing behind. So did his arms, legs, and everything else. Annabeth shrugged.

"Well, he takes up even less space when he's not even there. The idiot's better off dead anyway."

Coach agreed wholeheartedly.

THE END