I Think You Need a Doctor

By Kitty

Their bodies slammed against the wall of the TARDIS as the Doctor lost control. Breathing hard, he pushed himself toward Rose, grinding on her before attracting his lips to hers. They had only reunited for a minute or two before the affair began.

"Doctor…stop…this isn't you…" As much as she hated to say that, as much as she loved this pleasure he was giving her, she didn't really want it because it was not how the Doctor acted. He didn't love her like this. Well, he shouldn't.

And his tongue traced her neck.

And she gave into him.

She shoved her hands through his soft, not-ginger hair, bringing her mouth back to his. He smiled, almost as if he knew she couldn't resist him.

But the smile faded when he realized he couldn't resist her either.

She knew when he stopped moving altogether that the fun was over.

Extremely puzzled, she looked him over; he was still clutching her hips. He was facing the floor, ashamed.

She was ashamed, too. Ashamed for taking advantage of him in this state, while his emotions were running wild with fear for everyone he loved, rage towards every alien that got in love's way, then lust for the one he loved most, and now embarrassment for letting that lust for her control him. Rose didn't know how much he yearned for her...

But she was again ashamed for believing that they could love each other that way, and for forgetting…forgetting who he belonged to.

The Doctor didn't belong to Rose at all. He belonged to no one. The lonely traveler, forever devoted to people and watching them die right in front of him.

It was quiet. And she had to correct herself.

"I'm sorry." She was staring at him very intently, hoping he would look up. She pulled her hands out of his hair and brought them to rest on either side of his face, forcing him to look at her.

"Doctor," she tried to get some words out of him. He just stared right at her sad, chestnut eyes.

Then he simply walked towards the entrance of the TARDIS, with his left hand stuck out behind him for her to hold.

They moved out to an unfamiliar garden, unpopulated and peaceful. It seemed the Doctor made a detour.

He led Rose to a small bench in the middle, where she sat. He stood before her, and she could've sworn that was a tiny smirk on his face.

"Rose Tyler," he started, "I've missed you so much."

She grinned. He longed for her company, but was it more than that? Would he say what she really wanted to hear? She waited patiently for the words she had been waiting for.

"I never thought I'd see you again, and now I can't waste any minute."

Rose would've made a smart comment about how minutes wasted didn't matter when there was a time machine a couple of meters away, but she still kept her mouth shut.

The Doctor bent down on one knee, placing his hands on hers in her lap.

"I love you."

Rose Tyler stood up, pulling the Doctor up with her. They gazed into each other's eyes before the two soulmates leaned into the most wonderfully passionate kiss ever shared between them.

And he did the noblest thing.

He let go.

He stopped trying to hide how much he loved Rose Tyler, and he never regretted what he told her. Every bit of it was true, and she knew it also.

But he couldn't torture her this way.

The Doctor knew what was coming. That he'd have to send her back to that godforsaken parallel world, that they could never be together. And right now, he had to give her everything.

"What do you want, Rose?" Though the Doctor knew she wanted what he couldn't give her.

"I want you."

"I know."

He pulled her closer to him, hugging her tightly, wishing that this would prevent him from ever having to leave her again.

She felt this too, and had no desire at all to leave the Doctor that she loved so much.

"I love you," she sobbed, silently swaying with him. She had said it once before, just once, on the worst day of her life, and she prayed this day wouldn't be like that one.

They stood like that for what seemed like an hour before sitting back down ob the bench.

Rose leaned her head on the Doctor's shoulder, both of them not speaking.

She finally fell asleep. The Doctor had been waiting for this. He pulled a gold band out of his suit pocket and slipped it onto his love's left ring finger.

He knew they could never be like this. He knew that no matter how much he wanted to, he could never have Rose in this way. It seemed like the two were having similar thoughts today. And it hurt so much.

He stared at the ring on Rose's finger for hours as she slept. Wishing that they could actually be in this position, to be married, was all that they could do. Because even though he was with her now, he had a terrible feeling something would get in the way. And he couldn't be with her forever. Rose would grow old, and the Doctor would live and live, staying young and clever. He would have to leave again. Just like with all the other brilliant companions, he'd had to take them home and life their life without the Doctor.

And he saw, that day at Bad Wolf Bay, how much it hurt Rose to be without him.

Rose needed a Doctor. So badly.

It haunted her every dream, including the one she was having now. She was so scared of leaving the Doctor that she wrapped he arms around him, still asleep.

And that made it even worse. Even worse for the Doctor once he had to depart without Rose again…and even worse for Rose, because she was being so selfish, so selfish, like she always had been when it came to the Doctor.

But that didn't stop either of them.

She held him tighter, and eventually he complied. He turned to her sleeping body and placed one small kiss on her forehead. Rose stirred a little, exhaled, and opened her eyes, staring straight into the Doctor's wonderful brown ones. They looked sad, and now her eyes mimicked that look now.

"What do you want, Doctor?" And she hoped. Hoped with everything that the answer would be—

"I want you."

Tears leaked from her eyes as she acknowledged the only reason he would confess this to her now. Now, when the Daleks were trying to demolish the universe, including the parallel ones.

"I know." Her voice broke. He was preparing himself to leave her. There was a huge possibility he would have to if things ended badly on the Crucible. But she wouldn't let that happen.

"I can't leave you again," she choked out. "I can't."

Her eyes were just dripping with tears, and the Doctor couldn't watch that. He wiped them off her face with his thumbs, never forgetting that she still had the ring on her finger. He wanted so much for it to stay there forever, but if they had to separate again, he knew that ring would burden her for the rest of her life.

Not that it would be much of a life without him.

"Rose," he said, so privileged to utter her name, "We have to go back."

She knew exactly the trouble that was taking place, but she resorted to being selfish again.

"I just found you again!" she cried, letting out more tears for him to wipe away again.

"You're not going to lose me, I promise." His stomach twisted and he hated himself so much for telling that terrible lie. And he tried to smile, he really did. "We've got a universe to save." He was trying to make her feel better, like he was his normal, excited self again. That version of him was a cover-up of the real, heartbroken Doctor.

The time spent with Rose wasn't a cover-up at all, but it was terrifying to realize his true self was this sorrowful.

And finally, Rose pushed all of her selfishness out of the way. She ascended from the bench, with the Doctor following her action, and she ushered him towards the TARDIS to face fate head on.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The Doctor, Donna, Rose, Jackie, and the half-human, half-Time Lord Doctor were all positioned at Bad Wolf Bay once more. Rose dreaded this place the most.

"Both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me?" There was a long pause as she looked at the Doctor. "Go on, say it."

He spoke up, "I said, 'Rose Tyler.'" It was all he was able to make out before his hologram failed. His stupid, idiot hologram.

"Yeah, and how was that sentence gonna end?"

"Does it need saying?"

It didn't need saying at all. All Rose had to do was look…but she didn't know that yet.

"And you, Doctor?" Rose was asking his clone now. "What was the end of that sentence?"

He bent his head down to her ear to whisper three words. Three words so powerful that Rose could find it possible to live her life without the man bearing two hearts. Knowing what needed to be said, the clone breathed so close to her neck:

"Your left hand."

For a minute, she was confused, and both Doctors loved seeing that cute face. But that was nothing compared to the gasp and shock when Rose Tyler saw her left ring finger shining with gold.

So she pulled the Doctor with one heart to her lips and they shared a strange love. They only let go when they heard the TARDIS door shut and it soon disappeared from that parallel world for the second and last time, taking the Doctor and Donna home. And the Doctor couldn't help but swallow and feel jealous inside.

That same night, Rose and her new Doctor were sitting in bed together. She was repeatedly turning her ring around and around her finger, almost scared to take it off. She wasn't about to lose it.

Though, when Rose did pull it off for a second, she noticed something inscribed on the inside of her token. She couldn't read it. It was in the Doctor's language, Gallifreyan. But he and his clone shared the same memories, and she asked her lover to translate.

And what the Doctor had engraved on Rose's ring, in Gallifreyan, was a simple, meaningful quote. A reminder.

I think you need a Doctor.