A/N: Just something that I thought up, I love Frozen but I find it hard to believe that people can so easily break from habits of a lifetime. Maybe that's pessimistic, I don't know. This is a one-shot, but I might develop it more if people are interested.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Elsa
Who am I? Staring at my icy reflection, it was a question I had often asked myself. Like so many other times before, I had lost myself.
"Elsa?" My head snapped up at the telltale rhythmic tapping and the singsong voice of innocence.
"One minute, Anna…" I fumbled with my hair, I needn't have worried – the messy braid was firmly stuck in place, almost perfectly frozen.
A gentle creaking alerted me to my fiery-haired intruder, I would never quite get used to the familiarity of Anna entering my room, nor expect that she would truly want to. After all, she was like the sunlight, streaming into my dark place. In my world, it was custom for the shadows to seek the sunshine, not the other way around.
No. I corrected myself. That was how it used to be. Before…Before she…
"Elsa…" a gentle hand knocked me out of my thoughts, a tiny hint of fear flashed in my dear sister's azure eyes. I frowned in concern, what was troubling Anna? Her gentle nod seemed to understand my thoughts.
"I keep losing you…" She half-murmured to herself. Slowly, painfully, I slipped my fingers around her delicate palm. Tugging her gently to me, in a foreign embrace – I brought her to my intense gaze.
"You will never lose me, Anna. I will always find my way back to you."
Her beautiful face broke into a relieved smile at my promise, as if, just for a single split second, she believed me.
Anna
Walking into Elsa's room was strange. I mean, not strange. She is my sister after all. Well now she is. Actually she was before, only now more so… okay, Anna STOP. I took a deep, shuddering breath, if only I could express myself with more clarity – I would feel less like a bumbling buffoon in her presence.
Elsa is perfect. Intimidatingly so. It's like, all the lights fade from the room when she's in it and she's the graceful beacon that every person turns to. Of course, she is gorgeous. Flawless skin, flawless hair… and that smile. The first time, I ever saw my sister truly; genuinely smile was in her magnificent Ice Palace. The one that she had created from her own, brilliant imagination with the sparkling staircases and glittering icicle chandeliers. That is where she shone, brighter than a diamond – softer than a snowflake. My Ice Queen. Wait –what? I meant, oh gods, I don't even know. These years of solitude had to have had some effect on me. I mean, just because I now actually see my sister doesn't mean I can automatically stake some kind of claim on her. I shook my head, focus Anna. Remember, intelligibility. Keep things short, she'd appreciate that.
I called her name softly, even now, months after the incident with that shall-not-be-named Bastard from the Southern Isles – I feared Elsa shutting herself away again. The fear is so great, it caused a small lump in my throat and an ache in my heart. I couldn't face that again. Living alone… living without her. I wasn't strong enough to survive it twice.
I waited patiently for twenty seconds before gingerly pushing the mahogany door and sliding through.
Elsa's nimble, porcelain fingers were twiddling with her beautiful white-blonde hair, perfectly and casually braided. Although Elsa's eyes had a stunning lucidity and almost hypnotic shade, they were weighed down with darkness and sorrow. It broke my heart.
"Elsa…" I wanted so desperately to bring her away from that darkness, I wanted to make it vanish. It was a constant fight that ripped into my soul each time I brought her back, but since Elsa froze my heart – I always found a way to make it so. But every time, there was that split second of paranoia, of brutal worry that it wasn't enough. Maybe, I wasn't enough.
I hadn't even realised that I had vocalised my thoughts, placed them shamelessly out in the open.
I felt cool, velvety fingers entwine around my hand, leaving a tingling sensation and as Elsa gently pushed me towards her; my heart started to pound faster than it ever had before. I was staring deep into the Queen of Arendelle's haunting eyes and further than that, her soul.
"You will never lose me, Anna. I will always find a way back to you." I would never tire of hearing her voice, it was the softest lullaby and almost musical like wind chimes. Stupid as it sounds, it made me feel, like I was safe. Then her words hit me with such force, I had to rely on her embrace to stand. For Elsa, this must have been so hard to say aloud, I knew how she had difficulty expressing her feelings even now.
I flashed her my brightest smile. It was better than crumbling, which would have been totally awkward and it would probably have caused her to re-think that promise. No, Elsa was here with me. She would never leave. She would always come back.
The problem with hope, is that it is merely a promise that conceals inevitable misery.