Authors note – Maya never died she ended up in a coma, everything else is pretty much the same.

"Emily can I ask you a personal question?"

I look up from the TV screen and eye Hanna quizzically before replying.

"Sure".

She smiles as she hands me popcorn.

"Do you ever visit Maya".

Suddenly the air in the room gets thick because I cant breath properly, I stand up and begin to pace slowly, trying to calm my nerves. "I cant".

Hanna takes my hand and pulls me back down onto the couch.

"It's totally fine if you cant talk about it yet, I understand".

I shake my head in disagreement. "I didn't mean I cant talk about it, I mean I cant see her".

"Are you seriously telling me you haven't visited at all?".

I nod my head, words were to much right now.

"Why the fuck not?". She speaks loud but I no she's just concerned about my mental state. Out of all my friends Hanna's the one who's most perceptive. Its one of her best qualities.

"Honestly Hanna I cant do it, I got to the hospital once but couldn't go in".

"You never speak about her Emily, you should".

"I no it's just hard".

"I can go with you, if that will help?"

I take a second to consider her words, my own mother never once suggested accompanying me even though she could see I'm torn up about it. I smile and nod my head 'yes' , I don't speak. This conversation in my opinion at least for tonight was over. She smiles supportively before grabbing a handful of popcorn.

"So any ideas about alternative colleges?". I smile to myself brightly, Hanna always knew when to let things go.

Oh my god Math has never been so boring before, so it was no surprise that as soon as the bell rang I practically flew out the door completely ignoring Hanna accidentally on purpose. It wasn't her fault, to be truthful that talk last night left me feeling uneasy. So imagine my annoyance when the first person I see in the hallway is Paige. We were suppose to of had a 'thing' last night but I wasn't up for it so I cancelled.

"Hay babe". She leans in and kisses me on the cheek, I tense slightly but she doesn't notice. Why am I acting so weird we had been together nearly 5 months. Even as I ask myself that question I mentally kick myself in the head. You no why Emily. Maya's on your mind, after leaving myself a mental reminder to 'thank' Hanna I grab Paige's hand and begin to walk down the hallway, away from Hanna but most importantly away from thoughts of Maya. We make it less that 3 metres before we are surrounded by Aria and Spencer.

"Sorry Paige we need to steal your girlfriend a minute".

She just rolls her eyes and kisses me on the lips before walking off into the cafeteria. I don't think Paige cares for my friends much. That thought makes me laugh a little because I don't think they care for her at all. Aria motions to a empty table and we sit down. They both have these awkward expressions on there faces that tells me I'm not going to enjoy this talk. Sure enough my suspicions are confirmed when Hanna comes sauntering over taking a seat in-between us. I decide to speak first I just wanted this to be over...quickly.

"Look I fucked up, I have no excuse". I hear Spencer let go of a deep breath I was unaware she was holding.

"We are not judging Em, it's just the right thing to do". I nod at Spencer in agreement, she smiles and hands me a piece of paper.

"What's this?".

"The nurses schedules on Maya's floor, I thought maybe you wanted to be alone with her".

I smile and pocket the paper wouldn't want Paige to see this. I have no energy to argue tonight. I look up and see Paige approaching and literally thank my lucky stars this conversation was over!

"So Aria there is this party tonight". I blink in surprise did Paige just speak to one of my friends? I suppose stranger things have been known to happen. Aria looks just as shocked as I do.

"Yeah Zion's why?".

Now it was Paige's turn to look uncomfortable.

"I want to go with Emily".

Aria's eyebrow rises slightly confusion sinking in.

"Okay just ask her?".

"I cant".

"Why not?".

"She's not very fond of me".

"Why is that?". Aria gives me a questioning glance I shrug my head, I have no idea.

"It doesn't matter, we just don't get along".

"Okay Princess Vague I will ask, don't expect much, I only no her through Mike".

"What she's like the most popular girl in school how the hell does mike know her?".

Aria smiles obviously proud of Mike for being mentioned in something 'non' criminal related. "He is best friends with her brother".

Paige lets out a incredulous squeak seemingly overcome by the information.

"So all these weekends we had nothing to do we could have been at one of Zion's parties!".

Aria smiles and nods her head. "I will send her a tweet".

Paige shakes her head in disgust, she had been trying to move up in the social ladder for a few months now with no luck.

#AriaM :Hi Zion I changed my mind about the party tonight

will be there for sure...can I bring a few friends?x"

#ZionLovesDaLadies : What friends are they hot LOL".

#AriaM :Of course!

#ZionLovesDaLadies : Say no more! See you later x.

After a few minutes of 'tweeting' Aria jumps into the conversation with a huge smile on her face.

"She said it was okay".

"Great we will meet you there".

I eyeball Paige 'we' I never said I was going. I'm so not in the mood for partying right now!

She catches on because she starts to speak again, attempting to backtrack.

"Do you not want to go Em?". I open my mouth to speak but Hanna saves me the trouble.

"She's going". She looks directly in my eyes as she speaks.

"Because after you can go and do 'that other thing' we talked about".

I nod in agreement it would be easier this way...the alcohol in my system would make sure of it. We spend the next few minutes agreeing on the plans for tonight before we start to make our way back to class. I get to the door but I don't go in, instead I take my phone out my bag and check my messages. I thought I heard it go off while we were in the cafeteria.

Anonymous : Emily you should see Maya, lying there perfectly still. She beautiful. Did I ever tell you I prefer woman when their sleeping? - A.

I read the text several times each time I feel that familiar build up of rage start to overcome my body, I notice Paige looking at me from her desk wondering why I haven't come into class yet. I ignore her looks and take off walking down the hall towards my car. I need to go home. I need to think.