Title: Internet Access
Genre: Humor/Parody
Rating: T
Pairing: (Hints of) Naru/Saku, Naru/Gaa, Sasu/Naru
Summary: What if the Naruto gang FINALLY got Internet access on the ONE computer in Konoha? What if the Sand siblings were visiting too? What would they find? What would be their reactions?
Disclaimer: Me no own Naruto. Me no own the stories (cough, fanfictions) "Why I Like You" or "Letters Are Stupid". Please don't sue me, hate me, or anything of the sort.
- - - - -
"Naruto! Gaara-san! Everyone! You won't believe it! Guess what?" Sakura came running from her meeting from her mentor, Tsunade-sama, the current Hokage of Konoha. Naruto turned his head quickly, his mouth full of ramen while Gaara merely glanced her way, eyes stoic as ever.
"Wha ish ih, Sahkoorah-schan?" Naruto's eyes were wide, curious. Ever since Sasuke had left she had lost that spark but this! This was something! He couldn't wait to hear it.
She looked at the blond in disgust. "Don't talk with your mouth full, Naruto," then she looked around, "Where's everyone else?" she returned her gaze to the two at the ramen stand.
Gaara answered. "They should be here any minute. Apparently Naruto arranged this tournament with everyone to see 'who was better' at taijutsu," The younger sand sibling rolled his eyes, "Like there's a contest . . . really."
Sakura couldn't believe it. He used sarcasm. Apparently Naruto was used to it because he wasn't as surprised as she was.
"When will they be arriving, because I want to tell everyone at the same time."
"Tell everyone what, forehead-san?"
The rosette-haired shinobi whipped around at the familiar nickname. "I thought I told you to stop calling me that!" She blinked. "Oh. Hey! You're here!" She looked around, "You're all here.... Finally! I can tell you!"
Ino glared. "That is what I said. Tell us what?"
Sakura smirked dangerously. "We've finally got the Internet!" She squealed and did a little happy dance. She couldn't wait for everyone else's reaction.
There was silence. Dead silence.
She looked around. Where was the happiness? The squealing? The happy dances, for crying out loud? What the fuck were these people on?
"Uhh . . . hello? What's wrong with you people?" Sakura waved her hand in front of numerous people's faces, trying to catch their attention. "Are you okay? Did I fry your brain or something?"
Shikamaru answered. "We don't know what this 'Internet' thing is, Sakura-san. Not even I do."
She blinked. Oh my god. This is just not right. Straightening up, she turned toward the Hokage Tower where she knew that a certain room would be open on the bottom level.
"C'mon everyone. Follow me. I'm going to show you what the Internet is."
- - - - -
"A computer?" Naruto asked, "What's so big about a computer? So we only have one in Konoha. There's nothing special about it."
Sakura hit Naruto in the back of the head.
Kankurou snickered. "For once, I agree with the blond-squirt. It's just a computer. What's the big deal?"
Temari hit Kankurou in the small of his back with her fan.
"Ow! What the fuck?"
Gaara just stood there, trying not to smile. 'They deserved it. They sooooo deserved it.'
"Okay!" Sakura turned to the group, her hand placed gently on the computer, "Obviously this a computer. The Internet is on the computer. You can talk to people in other places through it and access a lot of information or just a helluva lot of random stuff through it. Got it?"
Everyone's eyes were wide. Naruto grinned before sitting himself in front of the computer. Looking up to his pink-haired friend, he asked excitedly, "How do you get on this Internet-thing?"
Nearly everyone laughed, but she just double-clicked on the blue, lower-case "E" and Google search engine popped up.
"Now what do I do, Sakura-chan?" He asked, staring at the screen. Others behind him, though curious, were snickering. Some, like Kankurou and the two la-femme blondes, were cracking up.
She smiled. "Type in something that you want to search in the white box, 'kay?"
Naruto thought.
. . . and thought.
. . . and thought.
"Oh my god! I've got it!" Naruto looked down at the keyboard and started quickly started to type in something, glancing up at the screen every now and then to make sure he was spelling it right.
Uzumaki Naruto
"Ha! Beat that! I bet there'll be TONS about me!" Naruto leaned back in the chair, beaming like an idiot.
"Yeah, right. Why would there be anything about you?" Kiba said mockingly.
Naruto turned around and glared, before turning back around and tilting his head confusingly.
"Sakura-chan, why isn't anything coming up?"
"Did you press the enter key?"
He looked at her. "Was I supposed to?"
While Sakura smacked her hand to her forehead, Naruto pressed the enter key while everyone else just laughed hysterically.
Five seconds later the people standing behind (or near) Naruto got the surprise of their lives.
Results 1-10 out of 3,330,000
Why I Like You, a Naruto fanfic – Fanfiction. Net
January 4, 2009 . . . Naruto, General, pairing: Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto;
She lost a bet and now she has to teach him the Jutsu she hates the most. But that was what determined everything. NaruSaku
Letters Are Stupid, a Naruto fanfic – Fanfiction. Net
January 4, 2009 . . . Naruto, Humor/Romance, pairing: Uzumaki Naruto and Gaara;
My attention is caught now. "you know, I sort of miss the guy. I wonder what he's up to . . . by the sound of it, he has as much to do as Tsunade-baachan, except he doesn't get drunk or take a nap during the job." NaruGaa fluff
Nobody spoke, not wanting to read past the second one. Finally, Gaara spoke up.
"Uzumaki, I would never fuck you."
Naruto spun around, eyes wide and mouth agape. "Who the hell said I wanted to? I sure as hell didn't write whatever the hell that is!"
"Na-ru-to . . . ."
He spun around again, only to face an angry, red-faced Sakura, "Did you write that first story?"
"What the . . . ? NO! I didn't even know what the hell the Internet was till you showed me! How the fuck could I have written it and put it on it? . . . Sorry?" He pouted, moving away from the computer.
"Hmm . . . ." Shikamaru murmured, thinking.
Everyone seemed to look at him at the same time.
"What is it?"
Shikamaru just stood there. "Well, this site. . . Fanfiction . net, is it? . . . seems to have stories that are about us. Or about Naruto. I, for one, want to see what else is on there."
Someone snorted from the back of the room. Neji. "Why the hell would we be interested in reading about ourselves?"
"Because it's not about us. Not really. I mean seriously, I doubt anyone here would write about Naruto fucking Gaara up the ass. . . or the other way around, you know?" Sakura spoke up, contemplating what Shikamaru had said. She too, was interested.
There was complete and utter silence for one single, unholy moment and then simultaneously. . .
Everyone leaped for the computer.
- - - - -
In the sound village, so very far away, a certain black-haired Uchiha sits laughing as he finishes posting his latest story on the large fiction site.
"I hope Naruto likes this one too," he smirked, his red pinwheel eyes turning, "I worked so hard on it for him."
- - - - -
"HA! I win!" Naruto yelled after the massive tumble for the computer. After clicking around on this "Fanfiction . net" site, he found the "Naruto" section. His eyes went wide as he saw the first story. Slowly, Naruto got up and ran from the computer as fast as possible, promising himself never to visit that site again.
The title of the story?
To Uzumaki Naruto, My Usuratonkachi Koi
Author: Uzumaki_Sasuke
- - - - -
Author's Note:
Okay, so this isn't the best.
I did try on it! I promise!
It's just that I started this a while back and lost interest in it
and then, well,
I found it again and the interest sparked again.
It's weird how things work like that.
What was even harder was that one of my friends suggested this,
so when I was trying to move the storyline forward it was REALLY hard.
I hope she (my friend) and everyone who reads this likes it!
Always,
Kandra
- - - - -
Reviews, Flames, and Commentary are Appreciated!
- - - - -