FAKE FRIENDS

A fan fiction work from The Big Bang Theory

SYNOPSIS: Picking up at the end of The D & D Vortex, Sheldon lashes out at Will Wheaton for not being invited to the game.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Big Bang Theory or its characters. I will gladly leave that to Chuck Lorre, Warner Brothers, and CBS

Sheldon seeks revenge

Leonard's snarkiness after receiving a photo from the wives at Will Wheaton's celebrity D&D tournament did not go over well with Sheldon. Upon seeing it he grabbed his windbreaker and headed out the door of 4A. While he was texting an Uber reservation, as he was too stubborn to have his own car, Leonard reacted with "Let it go Sheldon!"; "Let bygones be bygones!" The tall lanky theoretical physicist from Texas responded with "No, I can't let it go! Wheaton and his posse betrayed me for the last time!" At the end of the couch closest to the door, Raj said "Maybe there's a reason he didn't want you there." Howard followed through with "It's easy; you're a self-centered asshole who always has to have his way and becomes a cry baby when he falls short." Exiting 4A, Sheldon came back with a smart-alecky remark: "How dare you call me a part of the body. You must have watched something on Netflix involving a race of androids who are actually classified by one of their appendages!"

Sheldon then slammed the door and headed down the staircase. Leonard was somewhat optimistic, yet embarrassed, about his long-time roommate's latest meltdown—"Maybe the girls will get back before he gets to Wheaton's and makes a bigger fool of himself!"

Sheldon's foul mood gets worse when he gets to the celebrity gathering

Leonard's hypothesis did not materialize. Inside, the participants were enjoying some snacks-along with a variety of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages. Earlier that night, Bernadette was the self-appointed designated driver as she had to take care of her babies before she called it a night. Sheldon went into his usual routine of making himself known at another's residence: Knock, knock, knock "Fake Friends!"; Knock, knock, knock "Fake Friends!"; Knock, knock, knock "Fake Friends!"

Will Wheaton and William Shatner were reminiscing over their favorite "Star Trek" memories. Abruptly, this joyful moment came to an end when Will cried out "Oh, shit!" He heard how loud Sheldon was, and ascertained that the Dr. Cooper was not a happy camper. Once Wheaton opened the door, Sheldon greeted the crowd with "Wheaton, you and I are through! You invite the original star of the original series, a has-been former basketball player, and an over-reacted star of "Criminal Minds" to you so-called party; but you don't have the decency to invite me!"

Amy was the first to counter her irate husband. "Sheldon, you're being rude and embarrassing crashing our gathering. I'm sure you know by now that life doesn't always come out the way you want it to." By this time, Sheldon felt he was with his ultra-Christian mother back in Texas. Penny was the next to counter his anger and bring to light a brain fart Sheldon was dealing with. "Sweetie, that is Joe Mangianello from "Magic Mike". What made you think he was Joe Mantgega?" Sheldon came back with "Either way, he's not in my league." Bernadette was thinking the same way her husband did less than an hour ago. "Sheldon, quit being a fucking spoiled brat. Other people want to experience what you have!"

Sheldon's anger reached a boiling point as another of his rivals came out of the bathroom. When the girls sent a photo to Leonard, Barry Kripke was loading up on food and drink during an otherwise boring part of the game. Now, Kripke proceeded to taunt his fellow physicist—who is also his rival. "Hewwo Cooper, you missed a gweat game of Dungeons and Dwagons!" Sheldon turned towards Wheaton and yelled out "Wheaton, how could you overlook me for this moron whose only claim to fame is talking like Elmer Fudd?" Mrs. Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper was getting more and more perturbed and told her husband to stop acting like a spoiled four-year old. Kripke continued the taunts with "Cwy baby Cooper, he wasn't awwowed to pway!" Sheldon had reached a breaking point with "Kripke, shut your fucking pie hole before I stuff it with dice from the game!" Amy had enough of her husband and cried out "Sheldon, stop it. We're going home!" As Sheldon continued his rant while Amy told Bernadette to drop Penny off at 4A, he walked out the door hollering "Curse you Will Wheaton and all you over-the-hill movie stars!"

Sheldon takes drastic action in the aftermath

Sheldon was up earlier than normal the next morning. Amy came into the living room before taking her shower and asked, "What are you doing on eBay Sheldon?" Her husband replied by telling her due to Wheaton and Co. leaving him out of the prior evening's fun, he was selling all his "Star Trek" memorabilia. Amy thought he was blowing everything out of proportion; but Sheldon replied with "I cannot take any more ridicule from anyone associated with "Star Trek", no matter what universe it's in. I need a new hobby. Maybe I can buy all those model train sets I never got to collect as a child."

Amy left her despondent husband alone. They didn't talk to each other on their way to Caltech; the same happened on the return trip that night. He didn't even show up in the cafeteria at lunch time. Amy tried persuading him to eat, but he claimed he was on a hunger strike. His fellow scientists didn't even notice at their usual table. The consensus view was probably "Sheldon needs to take his licks and be a man about rejection."

Later that evening the gang gathered for Thai take-out in 4A. Sheldon, however, stayed behind in 4B and continued to put collectibles up on eBay. Howard asked "Is the high and mighty Sheldon Cooper still having a pity party? He wasn't at lunch; and now he won't eat with us." Leonard, when he finished eating, offered to visit his downcast companion. After giving his former roommate a reprimand for his behavior the night before, he suggested that the four guys have their own D & D tournament next weekend. All that came out of Sheldon's mouth was, "I can find new interests and new games. I don't know if I can play D & D anymore!"

Sheldon had been in bed for two hours when Amy returned. Knowing that he was still not in a mood to eat, she put his Asian Chicken in the refrigerator.

What happens next? Does Sheldon snap out of his funk and join his friends in D&D? Does he make any money selling his "Star Trek" epherma? Does he apologize to Wheaton, Shatner, Kareem, Kripke, et al? Leave positive feedback and suggestions.