"No!" Groaned the player as he scored only one badge. He was out of free plays.
"Great catch!" The Badge Arcade Bunny grinned, "you can swap over to paid play now if you like. Want to do that?"
"Actually, no," sighed the player.
"Okay, no worries!" Responded the Bunny in a twirl, "if you change your mind, just let me know."
The player sighed again as he left the badge arcade. Once again, he left the arcade with almost no loot.
"The game's probably rigged," grumbled the player, "that dang bunny probably just wants me to lose!"
Even though the player was upset, he'd be back at the badge arcade tomorrow to play again.
And indeed, the player was back, first thing in the morning.
"Hey there!" The Badge Arcade Bunny exclaimed, "we got some new badges! Wanna know what my favorite game is? The Legend of Zelda! It's a classic! Did you know Zelda is not the main character's name? Link is the main character and Zelda is the princess—"
"I know I know!" Interrupted the player, "I just want to play the game already!"
"O-okay! Well, uh, here's your free plays. Good luck!" The Bunny responded.
The Player was already playing, and losing all his free plays.
"Not again!" He shouted, "I got NOTHING. NOTHING! I just want ONE COOL BADGE. JUST ONE." He sunk to the floor and started throwing a tantrum. It looked quite silly seeing a mature gamer crying on the floor.
The poor Badge Bunny didn't know what to do to make the Player stop crying.
"Hey, uh... Oh! The practice catcher! Hey buddy, why don't you practice with the practice catcher? That might help you."
"It's no use!" The Player sobbed, "every time I play it, I don't get any badges! It's all rigged!"
"Well, golly," replied the bunny, "maybe you're just bad at the game?"
Him? Bad? Bad at... Playing a video game?! The Player's pride never allowed such thought to form in his tiny, self-centered brain. Could it possibly be that he, a full-fledged gamer who has beaten Majora's Mask ten times, who has had the most kills at Call of Duty, and who has beaten Pokémon Nuzelock thrice... How on earth was he bad at a UFO catcher game?!
"No!" Shouted the Player, "I'm not bad at video games! It's rigged! It's a darn rigged free-to-play game! Down with Nintendo!"
He ran out the doors, his arms flailing and his mouth flapping up and down as tears of broken pride washed down his face.
O"Maybe I should quit the job..." The Badge Arcade Bunny sighed and rolled his eyes.