In the basement of the Loud House, there is an extra room. It wasn't used for much, but it became the bedroom of an unexpected guest.
That guest is me. Now some of you might be wondering, how did I get here? Not going to tell, except that for some reason I am dressed like a Nazi officer from Wolfenstien minues the hat, plus a Trench coat. I have brown, black hair, green eyes and healthy white skin, I'm also a man.
But enough about me. Currently I was busy sorting out my new room when I received a radio call from Lincoln, telling me to come to his room. So I climbed two sets of stairs and walked into his room and sat down.
"Ok Storm, I need your help." He began. I forgot to mention, I go by Stormtrooper. "I need your help to distract my siblings. I could do it by myself but I don't think they'll fall for the same tricks twice."
"What are you planning?" I inquired.
He looked serious. "I'm going to watch Enemy at the Gates. Clyde recommended it to me, he says it's a good movie."
Enemy at the Gates? "I'm in. Leave Lucy, Lynn, Lisa and the Twins to me." Yeesh, try saying that ten times. We commenced Operation Stalingrad immediately (I am not letting Lincoln name it). The first room on the left had Lisa in it. She was busy finishing up her machine that can change the genetic structure of anything. Like hell I will let her use it.
"Hey Lisa." I said, walking into the room. "You know the Russians are building a rocket that relies only on oxygen right?"
She turned to me with an angry stare. "I will not be bested by a Russian!" she then proceeded to run down the stairs and into the backyard to build an impossible rocket, leaving a trail of fire in her wake. What's with her and Russians, I will never know.
Next is the twins. I walked across the hallway and saw them squabbling on what to watch. "Hey you two!" they stopped and turned to me. "Listen, and listen closely, I have reason to believe that your parents hid some of your stuff in the attic." At first they looked at me as though I grew a second head. Then they ran out, got the attic ladder down, and began to search. Gullible pair, those two. As if I'd bother telling them that.
Next up is Lynn, and in my opinion, she is the easiest one to distract. I grabbed a pair of roller skates, taped some rockets to them and I had myself a distraction. I walked up to the athlete and presented the gifts. "I believe that you'll find these for the most extreme-" I didn't even finish before I heard the sound of her outside and found myself grasping nothing but thin air. Told you, easiest to distract.
Lucy, well, she is the boss of this little game, so it will be a challenge. But to my luck, she was busy conducting a séance which left me free to head downstairs. I met Lincoln in the hallway and we proceeded downstairs. As we walked I could see the others distracted, man they are too easy.
But when we reached the bottom, the Loud Sisters were already there, watching a movie! "How did you guys get down here before us?" I asked.
"I used clones that will melt into a gelatinous compound after four hours, three if they are exposed to extreme conditions of electrical potential." Explained Lisa.
Ok this wasn't impossible to translate but I decided to fight fire with fire. "Lincoln, wissen Sie schon Deutsch?" I asked the white haired boy in German. Do you still know German? (Yeah, I taught him German.)
His sisters looked at me confused as he replied. "Ja, ichverstehe."Yes I understand
"Gut, weil ich sie nicht verstehen. Denken Sie, dass Sie zweimal den gleichen Trick ziehen?" Good, because I don't understand them. Do you think they might pull the same trick twice?
"Vielleicht" Maybe
"Why are you speaking German?" asked Lola. "Never mind, do you girls remember when Leni taught us Hawaiian?"
Lori then responded with an "Aemakou e hana!"Yes we do!
Lola nodded her head in approval. " ʻo, uapiʻiakuaiikekahimea?" Excellent. Do you think they are up to something?
"It Kahiki" said Lynn. It's possible
Where did I see this before? It doesn't matter. "Stop it."
"Not until you stop." said Lisa.
"Können Sie verstehen Sie?" I asked Lincoln. Do you understand them?
He merely shook his head "Nein." No.
"Verdammt!" I cursed. "Wait, why didn't I think of this before? We could just watch our movie on my computer."
After a quick moment of face palming at our stupidity, we headed downstairs into the basement. Now my room, AKA "That room next to the laundry room which houses a Hobo" (Lori named it after I broke her phone), is a regular room with a bed, a desk with a lamp, Batman figurine and a laptop and a small window at the top. So it's not much, but you're in for a surprise.
"Ok, so we just go onto the site." Lincoln said before I stopped him when he reached for my laptop.
"Not on that puny screen." I then proceeded to flip back the head of the Batman figurine, revealing a red button which I pushed. Then a panel slid out from the centre of the floor, opening a staircase which we descended. After I entered, the door closed and lights lit up, leading us into a high tech room, filled with machines of all kind. Hey, I did say I was dressed as a Nazi officer from Wolfenstien. So naturally, I got the primal urge to build these things.
There were rockets that could be used for Emergency Evac, giant metal dogs, a few machines that does things to people, a few advanced weaponry and army outfits. There were also some chemicals and a whole lot more but our primary focus was on a huge, 90 inch plasma screen TV that hung in the centre of the 'Lobby'. We sat down and I put the movie on. We watched and at the end we were interrupted by a message appearing on the screen.
"Looks like my cameras just finished installing and updating." I said.
"Cameras?" asked the white haired boy.
I grinned. "Yeah, I installed them to learn valuable secrets of your family. You know, like crushes."
"Can we watch? I've been dying to get my hands on some dirt." Well I couldn't say no now could I? We both wanted to get a little leverage should we need their help and they are unwilling to contribute. So I switched to the cameras and I saw Lori and Leni in their rooms, just chilling. Lori was Skyping her boyfriend, Bobby, and Leni was sketching designs for her clothes. When the Skype ended, they sighed in exhaustion much to our surprise.
"Thank goodness, I'm not sure if I could've kept that up." Said Leni. "Bobby would have told Ronnie Anne who tell Lincoln, and I'm not sure if he's ready for the acknowledgement of having a scientific genius much smarter than Lisa as a sister."
She promptly pulled out a blackboard which had mathematical equations only Einstein could solve. Lori meanwhile took out a D&D Strategy BOOK! The two continued to do their… Secret activities I guess… whilst we were watching. Me and Lincoln looked at each other and we changed the cameras. The rest of them were boring, except for one. Who would have thought that Lana the Tomboy had a Princess Teddy named Princess Rose?
"Lincoln? What do you think we should do with this evidence?" I asked my friend. "Because the way I see it, we have two options. One, we show everyone using the TV or Two, we use this to our advantage."
"Well, they would kill us either way, but we would be helping them with the first one. Show them they have nothing to hide. Especially from you." He replied. I have to admit, he made a valid reason. Here's to hoping that I don't die.
Ok, so Lori just came downstairs and joined her sisters on the couch. I gulped, and I could see sweat form on Lincoln's forehead. This is going a lot harder than I had originally thought. But regardless, we passed the point of no return when we called them down here.
"Ok, you know how me and Lincoln went to watch our movie on my computer? Well, and don't kill us, we watched you guys on my surveillance cameras afterwards and we found out some secrets." I saw them fidget as if I was talking about each of them. "Now me and your brother decided to help you with some of these as it would be beneficial. Of course we plan to show you the evidence as solid proof that there is no need to hide anything from family and a guy who can now monitor everything you do."
I switched the TV on and the three siblings in question were horror-struck as their deepest secrets were displayed for all to see. A good minute passed, and the screen was thrown through the window by Leni. "There was no need for that. In fact it just confirms what everyone just saw."
Everyone turned to Lori, Leni and Lana and they did the most unexpected thing: They gave them a hug. Truth be told, I was hoping that there'd be anger or sadness, because I had this whole speech planned out… come to think of it, this is the best option.
"Thank goodness I'm not the only one in this establishment that has the cranium capacity to understand the basis of quantum physics." Said Lisa.
We, minus Leni, just stared. "I'm not the only smart one."
Well it's been a half hour and they each told each other some embarrassing secrets of their own. Not that I'm going to tell. Besides, I'm too busy trying to get out of this rope, made from my cameras, which the Loud Sisters put me in.