A/N: My submission for the Once Upon Advent 2018. *Trigger Warnings for Drug Addiction*
It was a busy day at Granny's diner. Black Friday had been a successful day of splurging and gifting and now all Storybrooke shoppers were filling the booths at Granny's to have a filling lunch.
Regina stood at the counter, taking the orders of patrons at the bar as Granny and her daughter, Anita, manned the booths.
She'd finished up with one of her most difficult clients, and happily turned to her next customer, who on the other hand, was one of her favorite customers. He had been her first one the day she started her job as a waitress at Granny's diner. It was the not-so-little-anymore, Roland Locksley-Edwards. With the mop of curly brown hair, he'd pensively been scanning over the menu attempting to figure out what special he'd try today.
"Alright, young man, let's hope I don't have to threaten to kick you out too." Regina teased.
"You wouldn't do that, you like me too much," Roland countered causing a smile to pull on Regina's lips.
"You're pretty confident on that, huh?"
"As confident as I know you wouldn't kick my dad out for flirting with you so much," He replied with a knowing smile.
She raised her brow with a wide smile. Roland was a unique kid, and one of the traits she quite admired of him was his no-nonsense attitude to things. He spoke his mind frankly, and that meant that he had no filter for things he noticed among adults. She had gotten to know Roland for the past few months and from the moment she met him, she was able to tell the pedestal that he held his mother and father. She admired the relationship that both Roland and Robin had specifically. They were not only father and son but also best friends.
Regina chose to ignore his witty remark, and held up her notepad, ready to take his order, "Your order young man."
"You're going to ignore the topic just like my dad, aren't you?" Roland pressed with a wide grin.
Yes, she was going to ignore the conversation with this fifteen-year-old boy. She was going to ignore that topic that dealt with her having feelings for his father at all costs.
"Order. Now." She replied firmly, all the while holding a smile that she knew Roland would later tell his father about.
Roland merely rolled his eyes, scanning over the menu once again, "You're no fun, Regina."
"And you need to give me your order," she countered tapping her pen on the rim of the menu.
"Two pumpkin pancakes and a side of bacon. Oh! Make it two orders, one for my dad too. It's all he's been talking about since he woke up." Roland said.
"Where is that father of yours anyway?" Regina asked slipping the order on the ticket wheel.
"Outside waiting for my mom. She's bringing her new boyfriend." Roland jested with brows raised.
"New boyfriend, huh? Have you met him yet?" Regina asked.
She had grown familiar to the dynamic of the Locksley-Edwards family. Through the months of getting to know Roland, in addition to talking to Granny and Anita (who were well-versed in all town gossip), she had found out that Robin and Marian had been a couple before Roland was born, had decided to remain friends and a few months later found out they would be parents. They both decided to raise Roland together giving him both their last names while remaining good friends and co-parenting. It was an odd arrangement, one that had the town gossiping up until the newest string of gossip hit the town when Anita got pregnant at nineteen with Ruby.
"I met him once." Roland replied as his face turned sour.
"What's that face for?" Regina asked.
"I accidently walked into them snogging one morning…. Gross!"
She let out a laugh, one filling the bar area along with the rest of the patrons who heard Roland's comment.
"What's so funny now?" she heard his voice – Robin's – the one that had her stomach jumping over hoops instantly.
"Nothing was funny, it was gross." Roland says as he jumps off the chair and makes his way to an open booth.
With a snicker, Robin shakes his head at his son's stance, "What exactly happened?" He asks Regina as he sits at the bar.
She tucks a hair behind her ear, slightly licking her lips, hesitantly meeting his gaze, "He… he was telling me about walking into Marian kissing her new boyfriend."
"I see," he nods, "Yeah, I had to deal with the damage control for that one." Robin replies with a pursed smile.
There's a moment of silence, one filled with a tense gaze, one where Robin's lips pull in a slight flirty smile.
Regina sets her notepad on the counter, with a slight bite of her lips she says, "Roland, uh, he ordered you the pumpkin pancakes you like."
"God, they're so good. Bless my son." He chuckles, and Regina goes along, snickering as well.
"How's uh, how's your car doing? Any problems still?" he asks as he leans against the counter.
"Oh, no," she replies shaking her head, "Just like new. Thank you for fixing it. I don't know what would have happened if I had to take it to Hans' shop. I owe you for that."
"No need." He replies waving it off, "I'm just happy your car is fine."
"Well, I still plan to pay you back. However, it is, a favor, cash, free pumpkin pancakes until the special is over," she replied with a sweet smile, "Whatever you like."
"I'll make a note of that."
While a short moment of silence filled their interaction, Marian's giddy voice greeted Regina. She'd introduced her new boyfriend, John, who was meeting Robin for the first time. It was a little awkward to say the least. Robin was a bit skeptical of John at first, Regina knew he cared for Marian, she was the mother of his son after all, and a close friend of his. It was something It was something Regina had noticed about Robin, it was a sweet trait of his. All those he cared for, he always made sure they were alright.
She realized, just in that moment, that those affections even reached her. He'd heard her comment to Granny the issue with her car and her not wanting to take it over to Hans who had done a botch job the previous time. Robin had generously offered without being asked. It had thrown her off, but she soon realized that was who he was, always giving his time and service to those he cared for. That offer spoke more to her than any words from him could. Robin cared for her, even if he had barely known much about her.
She cleaned down the bar counter, thoughts of that realization filling her. Aside from Granny and Anita, who were family, the only other people who had extended some semblance of care for her was the Locksley-Edwards gang.
Marian had become a good friend. She'd grown to get to know her during her daily lunches at Granny's and they bonded over like-minded topics. Usually over how annoying a certain bratty daughter of the mayor – Mary Margaret Blanchard – was. Marian had spilled all the gossip over Mary Margaret's queen bee status even years after high school was well over. In turn, Regina had shared a few stories of her own from her teenage years in high school, dealing with bratty rich girls.
And just like Roland, Marian had pressed her on her complete support of Robin and Regina being together. Regina always turned down all offers of a setup, always insisting that she did not like Robin in that way, and always lying about her true feelings.
She'd moved to Storybrooke for a fresh start, and she had been given just that. It had been three months and throughout those months, there were tense interactions with him. Robin had never been openly flirty with her, but there were comments, looks that said more than any cheesy verbal flirting could. On her most confident days, she had dared to respond with a knowing smile, a bit more of an evident lick of her lips, or a gaze that held on longer than was due. In all those moments, Robin was always a more than willing party in the exchange. They both knew, they knew there was something there, but both were just not willing to take the leap.
As the little family ate away at their brunch, she sat at the counter at the other end of the diner, taking her lunch break, sketching away at a landscape on her drawing pad. She needed it today, she needed the calming of her sketching after what this day meant. It was the anniversary of many things, but also the start of many more she had yet to realize were coming.
.*.
"Alright, Granny, ring us up then," Robin patted the counter.
"How'd you like the new beau?" Granny said handing him the receipt, "Gave him a stern talking to?"
"Seems like a decent lad. I think the one he's got to worry about is Roland, not me."
"The two of you care for the girl, so I wouldn't say it's only Roland. You two have raised the boy, you're like best friends. The guy better have your approval as well."
"Bet Roland is trying to scare him off, look at him," Robin turned in view of Roland at the booth. Roland's brows furrowed, and lips pursed clearly giving John a stern talking to. Marian had been doing her best to hold down a laugh, she turned to meet Robin's gave, raising her brows at the amusing protectiveness of her son.
"Don't have to worry about that when it's Regina's turn," he heard Granny say.
"What-what are you talking about Granny." Robin stuttered as his face turned beat red.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about, young man. That flushed face says it all."
"Granny, Regina and I are not getting together," he denied firmly.
"You forget that I've got eyes and ears all over this town. I see the looks; you're fooling no one in this town."
"We're barely friends anyhow," Robin added as he raked his hair nervously.
"Then make her your close friend. Start somewhere."
"I don't know if she'd be interested anyway, doubt I'm her type."
"You, Robin Locksley, thinking you're not a good enough for a girl? I'd take ya if I could," Granny winked and Robin merely chuckled.
"Well, we'll see what comes of it then," he replies.
"Ask the girl out, son. She's a keeper, let me tell you that."
.*.
"So, Regina, this concludes our therapy session for today." Dr. Hopper began, "I think it warrants for you to receive this."
He hands her the chip. It felt heavy, filled with the weight of the world almost. It was blue, a dark blue almost black as night, with gold engraving surrounding it as it read "Out of the Ashes of Addiction Comes Renewal and Growth. Just for Today. Serenity. Peace." At its enter a red circle housing a roman numeral one.
"You've been one year clean, Regina. Congratulations."
She holds the coin in her palm, a simple coin, cheap probably, but to her, it's the most valuable coin she'd ever had the pleasure of holding.
"Thank you, Dr. Hopper." She replies, eyes skimming over the coin, reminding herself of the rough engravings, she'd missed the feel of them. It had been a year and she had been more than happy to feel them once again. One year done, and a lifetime more to go.
"I know you're NA group would have loved to celebrate the accomplishment with you."
Regina waves it off, circling the coin with her thumb, "I didn't want a big fuss. It's not like I haven't done this before."
"Every year is an accomplishment, Regina. No matter when it is, or how far away the previous year of being clean was from the next. You've made strides, you've done a lot of soul searching and it's good to celebrate that."
"Thank you for this Dr. Hopper. Thank you for your support and for… well everything."
"I'm always here, Regina. Is there… is there anything else you'd like to talk about before we finish up our session?"
She doesn't reply, merely continues memorizing the details of the coin. One she had not seen in over a year and all memories fill her, those that she'd forced herself to forget, that now were bottling at the surface.
"Perhaps…. about your father," Dr. Hopper adds.
She quickly shakes her head, pure dread filling her, "No, um, I'm fine. I think we're good for this session. Next week, then right? Same time?"
"Same time," Dr. Hopper nods, not pushing further the subject.
Regina quickly stands, grabbing her bag and tossing it over her shoulder, "Good night Dr. Hopper."
"Goodnight, Regina," he replies, "And remember," she halts at the door, hand holding onto the doorway, not willing to look at him, "your father would be proud, no matter what."
She takes a deep breath, fills her lungs, and she doesn't want to accept it, doesn't want to accept anything at all that has to do with her father being proud of her. Because she believes it – knows it – that that is far from the truth.
.*.
It was officially December; Christmas wreaths lined every house in Storybrooke. The town Christmas tree had been put up at the center of Storybrooke Park, glittering away with multi-colored fluorescent lights, candy canes and beautifully decorated ornaments all hung on the tree branches and at the tip of the tree, a shining gold star illuminating the entire town through the teeth chattering cold. The entire town was abuzz preparing the much awaited and celebrated Storybrooke Christmas Extravaganza. From planning the Candyland maze, organizing the food vendors, and getting volunteers to help in the construction of the decorations, there was no person in sight left without a job to do.
It was nearing midnight, he had been having a craving for ice cream of all things during this cold weather. He was good about steering clear of sweets, but today had been a good day. He had spent the day with his son, talked and exchanged smiles with Regina, which was a special occasion anytime he did. He had acquired two new contracts that would bring in good revenue for his business in addition to scoring the last pair of Nike Zoom Superfly Elite's for Roland once he started track and field in the Spring.
It had been a good day, and he was going to devour the small pint while watching Star Wars. Roland was off with Marian for the weekend, so he had the entire house to himself. He loved his son with everything he was, but he was glad the teenager would not be there to hog the remote and demand to watch the next episode of Flash or whatever superhero t.v. show was on.
The town was silent, it appeared everyone had turned in early for the night after their extreme shopping. As he walked past Granny's diner, he waved a quick hello to Granny and Anita who were quickly cleaning up the counters to close up shop.
As he made his way past Main Street and turned on 23rd where one of the main town parks laid out with a gazebo at the center. Darkness surrounding the grassy park, the starry night along with the glittering Christmas lights lead his gaze upon the dark figure that was, from his earshot, sniffling away. The lone lamp hanging at the center of the gazebo gave way for him to clearly see that it was Regina.
His heart thumped instantly, his gut dropped as he stood in place, gazing at her from afar, only darkness and speckles of light between them. She was crying it was clear, the silence all around the town gave way for her whimpers to reach his ears clearly.
He tightened his grip on the bag that held the ice cream tub, somehow thinking that would help him muster some courage to approach her. With a thick gulp, he began to walk over, until he was in front of the steps to the gazebo. She had clearly not seen or heard him as her face was still cradled on her hands, letting her sobs fall to her hands.
"Regina," he spoke softly, tilting his head to catch her gaze one she lifted away from her palms. She'd been crying it was clear, but he found it curious that of all the places in town, she'd come to a part of the town that was out in the open for anyone to run into her. He was glad she'd chosen that, because he hoped he could do something to comfort whatever was troubling her.
She jumped slightly looking up to him in surprise, "Robin… um, what are you doing here?"
"I'm sorry… I just… I wanted to make sure you were alright." He muttered. His voice held a small waiver due to the nervousness.
She exhaled deeply, clearing away the fallen tears as she nodded attempting to hold a brave smile, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just… I'm fine."
He nodded pursing his lips together in a smile. They both stood in silence, not knowing what to say at this awkward interaction.
"Well, um, goodnight," she said beginning to walk down the steps.
"Wait," he called out.
She halted but did not to meet his gaze.
"Do you… do you want to have some ice cream with me?" he asked. God he was blabbing, he didn't know what to say and-
"Ice cream? Isn't it freezing for that?"
"Yeah it is but, I've had a craving and seems like you could use a pick me up."
"I don't need-
"Just a friend offering some company," he defended with hands raised.
"Friend?"
"Well, I do help you out with your car problems and you do reward me with pumpkin pancakes at Granny's so, I'd say we're friends, wouldn't you?"
She shrugs, "Perhaps," she attempts to hide a small smile.
"So, will you? Have some ice cream on this cold night with me?"
Her hands were crossed around her torso, holding tightly to her black leather jacket. Her nose bright red from the cold and voice rough, she sighed thinking over his request.
"Do you want some apple pie to go with the ice cream? Granny had some left over at the diner. We could warm it up to go with it?"
"That would be delicious."
The silence in their walk was only momentary, "So, Roland is staying with Marian this weekend I take it?"
"You got all that from me carrying a tub of ice cream about in the middle of the night?" he jests.
She merely shakes her head, with a timid smile, "Roland mentioned something about it this morning when you three came by. Just trying to make conversation."
"Ah, I see. Well don't feel pressured if you don't know what to talk about. Silence is more than fine too." Robin offered as Regina nodded in agreement.
And they did just that, they walked in silence, turning the last block to Granny's where Regina pulled out her key and opened up the shop turning on a single light to give light to the counter.
"Granny gave you a key?" Robin asked curiously.
"Not really, I've always had it. I do own part of the dinner anyway." Regina replied as she took out two slices of apple pie and moved over to pop them in the small toaster oven.
"I thought only Granny owned it. It does say Granny's after all."
"Everyone calls her Granny because of the shops name. But to me she's Aunt Ruby."
"Hold on, she's your aunt?"
Regina nodded with a wide smile, turning to prop out two plates, "She was my father's older sister. My dad owned part of the shop with her. It used to be my grandmother's and her mother's before her."
"You mentioned your father… was." Regina nodded, a slight grieving grimacing giving way in her face.
"He passed away." She replied simply.
"I'm sorry, that must be difficult." He acknowledged.
She shrugged, attempting to make it seem as if it it didn't affect her, but the glaze in her eyes, the slight tremble in the lower lip said otherwise.
"It's life. We lose people all the time. We get used to it."
"I don't think we'll ever get used to it. People bind themselves into our life… our soul almost and it's everyone who leaves us takes a piece of ourselves with them. We grieve for them but also for what we've lost that they carry on with them."
"Or that's just life," Regina chuckles bitterly.
Robin nods, "That's another way to put it."
She stares at the lone tub of ice cream that he had set on the table, her gaze intent on the tub, looking over its edges and the glistening sweat of water at the base. But her mind is elsewhere, her mind is living in memories of her childhood, of a daddy who loved her and twirled her about in the fall leaves, of Christmases around the fireplace. Memories of a brightly lit tree with school made Christmas crafts all around. And smiles and giggles shared over sugar cookies awaiting Santa.
She feels it instantly, the dreaded tear falling over her lid, "Well, that's just bullshit then."
"I lost my father when I was young," he confesses, "I thought it was a load of bullshit for a time too."
"What made you change?"
"Time. And accepting that what happened wasn't my fault."
"What made you think it was your fault?"
"He uh, he went to pick me up at a friend's house. We were supposed to go fishing the next morning… I hated – hated- fishing. So, I stayed out as late as possible, ignored his calls until he just showed up at about 2 am. We were driving back… it um, it was too dark for the other car… a drunk driver- it intersected with his side of the car. He died while we waited for the ambulance."
She places her hand on his, comforting his obvious still painful memories, "I blamed myself for such a long time. That it was my fault… that if I had just answered one of his calls, not have been so selfish… he would still be here."
"Oh, Robin," she breathes out, holding tight onto his hand, only the counter to separate them. "I still blame myself for it... sometimes, I just- "
"You were young," she interrupts him. She wants to, wants to hug him, embrace him and comfort his obvious still painful mourning, "It wasn't your fault. If you knew that would happen, you wouldn't have dared to go to the party, right?"
He shakes his head in agreement, brows furrowed clearly so much strength holding all his tears.
She places her hand on his giving him some of her warmth on his frosted hand, "That's so horrible. I'm so sorry."
He pursed his frown, giving her a ridden look, "Some bullshit, huh?"
She small smile appears on her face, well, he has wit. As the toaster oven dings, and she takes out the apple pies and sets them on small plate where she begins scooping ice cream to top the pie.
All the while, the blue-eyed Brit couldn't help but admire the beauty that he had before him. From the curve of her full red-wine lips, to the accented jaw that sharps her creamed face, there is nothing about her, he realizes, that he wouldn't want to spend hours looking at – nothing about her he wouldn't want to spend hours getting to know.
.*.
Balloons filled the party room in Storybrooke Church, the chattering of the crowd muffled her ears, as she stood in the doorway rethinking if she should have gone to NA meeting tonight. It wasn't exactly a meeting today, but a celebration for all who had been another year clean.
In leu of the usual donuts, there was a cake with the cheap frosting no one really like but everyone ate, generously bought by the church nuns to celebrate the yearlong accomplishment for the entire NA group in addition to celebrate a late Thanksgiving.
She had not planned to come, it was specifically her one-year chip celebration as well as the others who received them and she had wanted to steer clear. She wasn't much of a talker, she dreaded talking in her meetings, but swallowed the poisonous dread and did so. Today, she knew that they would put her on the spot, they'd ask her to say a few words of wisdom to the newcomers or for those who'd fallen off the wagon. She knew she had to steer clear, but for some odd reason, she ended up here, in the crowded room with people who she never talked to outside of NA and cheap cake on a Tuesday evening.
"Regina, are you coming in or staying outside?" she hears Mother Superior's voice, "We can't hog the doorway, can we?"
She truly detested that woman, she was the full fleshed form of hypocrisy if there ever was a possibility to have a definition for it.
There was no one better than Mother Superior to hear the struggles of others, their setbacks with drugs, only to respond with passive aggressive comments whenever she could insert a remark.
She stepped into the crowds and took her seat in the circular arrangement of chairs, thumbing at the creased coin in her hand for some form of longevity.
"Nervous?" Archie asked as he sat next to her. He always had a certain way of appearing at times where she started to close off, and ready with a hopeful speech in hand.
"I'm not looking for an inspirational speech or anything, just rather not be here today." Regina replied looking towards him
"Why's that?"
"I don't think this is part of our therapy session is it? Or are you going to be charging me by the hour for any advice you give me?" She jests.
"Well, what if I call this a friendly consultation, will that ease your nerves?" He presses, she did not want to talk, not to him or anyone for that matter, but there was a disturbance in her heart, one that dealt with a certain man that she just could not get out of her mind.
So, she chose to go against her better judgment, "If I tell you something, do you promise not to divulge it around town?"
"I'm a trained therapist, practically born to keep secrets."
It feels so kiddish, choosing to talk to her therapist of all people about a topic that teenagers would huddle together whispering and giggling over, "Robin and I shared ice cream together and had a moment of sorts."
"Well I hope it was a good ice cream, personally I like pistachio," he replies only to earn a well-earned glare from Regina for the horrid jest of his.
"Fine," he raises his hands defeatedly, "No jokes. So, is that what's bothering you? That you shared a bowl of ice cream with him?"
She questions herself for a moment, thinking over the fact that she just had divulged to Archie that fact that she was "Not that, just… the prospect of sharing more than just ice cream with him… unnerves me."
"Unnerves you in what way?"
"I'm not sure," she shrugs away, trying to remove her eyes from Archie's gaze. She knew that if she dug deeper, delved into the subconscious of her heart, it would tell her why she was scared, and she would need to confront whatever it was that she tried to ignore for some time now.
"Do you want me to tell you what I think?" he suggests, leaning against his umbrella.
She crossed her arms, a witty smile leaving her lips, "What's it going to cost me?"
"Nothing, take it as a friend merely giving advice to a friend." He explains.
She considers it, what harm would it do to just take his advice? So, she obliges, tells him to give it to her straight.
With a simple nod, and a single sentence he summed up the battling emotions she had been consumed with, "It doesn't unnerve you, it scares you because you might have found the person that will love you for you, just like your father did."
His answer comes at her like a bucket of ice cold water. She was cornered and forced to hear the words that her heart had tried to keep hidden for some time. All she could do was maintain her most perfect poker face but, as always, to her misfortune, her flushed cheeks gave her away in a split second.
She would deny it, at all costs, she would deny the truth that spilled from Archie's lips, "I don't-"
"Alright everyone, let's all gather 'round now," Mother Superior announced at the center of the chairs. For the first time, she was more than glad that Mother Superior decided to interrupt a conversation, because she was afraid that it would continue. But he was more than right, she was frightened to fall in love with Robin because she knew that when he'd fall in love with her, if he ever did, her belief that she was not worth anything would fly out the window. And that, that panicked her. Panicked her because she had already failed so many people who loved her.
As Mother Superior went around congratulating everyone for accomplishing another year clean or for plainly working on getting clean, Regina took in Archie's logic, and she was denying at all cost that it made sense.
"Now, would anyone like to volunteer to say a few words on this occasion, Regina perhaps?" Mother Superior asked as she looked directly at her, "Seeing as this is your first year clean, why don't you give us a little inspiration, if you can manage it?"
"I'm fine, thank you," Regina responds, clearing her throat.
"Oh, come on, I'm sure you'll like the bit of attention," she bit gleefully. That bitch, she always had an underhanded remark for everyone - especially Regina.
"Fine. I'll volunteer," Regina spoke, and as it would be, the entire groups eyes were seared on her. She never volunteered, so it was clear that when one of the most silent members of the group spoke, everyone wanted to hear what came out of their mouth.
She stared at the cup of water in her hand, trying to find the words to say but her brain kept telling her to just say anything, anything that would fulfill her end of the bargain with Mother Superior. Something in her halted her tongue though, it was the giggling sound of a sweet little boy. A little boy with hazel eyes and brown hair, and the sound of him giggling away as he yelled out for his mommy.
She looked down at the cup holding and a low snicker escaped her as she took a deep breath and looked up at the circled crowd. All eyes on her, all filled with stories she had gotten to know in the past few months. Everyone had battles, darkness in them that they battled with on a daily basis and everyone in this room wanted the same things; to be addiction free and to be accepted. They all wanted the same things, hoped for the same things.
"I'm not a big talker, I barely talk in regular meetings, but I'm one year clean," she says turning to Archie who was gleaming with what looked like pride for her. A small smile along with the roll of her eyes released, jeez, why did Archie always manage to get her to perform self-growth acts.
"Last year I relapsed, around this time actually. I had lost my father," at the mention of him, a burning sensation fills her eyes and the room becomes a glazed wall of watery orbs. Her lids close, clearing her watery sight and the tears that held on trial down her cheeks and she wipes them away quickly, breathing heavily as her lips unknowing begins to tremble.
"My father, uh, he was a big believer in people - me, mainly. I never understood why, I dropped out of college, became an addict and went off the handle for a few years but somehow, he always believed in me - well, I hope he believed in me. Anytime I called he was always there, for anything at all he was there. When I lost him, I… it went downhill from there. My progress, my entire life crumbled."
She looked around the group, intently listening to what she had to say as her tears continued to fall. Some merely there because they needed to, others filled with eyes of judgment, waiting for her to finish and the others, hopeful to hear something they could connect with.
With a clear of her throat and a shaky breath she continued, "I think in life we always look for people that want to believe in us. I guess for people like us it gives us purpose, motivation or simply comfort. I think it warrants to say that if you ever find someone in your life... that loves you enough, but I mean truly unconditionally loves you enough to put up with your darkness, to help you accept and face every ugly part of your life, keep them, appreciate them and let them into your life."
Her voice wavers, remembering the past months since she arrived to Storybrooke, and the glimmering blue eyes, that hopeful smile always looking to make sure everything was okay with her. Then, Archie's theory hits her, and a small snigger escaped her lips, "Most of all, I think if you find someone that believes in you, believes that you matter, that you are worthwhile, that you're more than just your struggles, your pain and your darkness, then I really do believe that they are worth it all."
.*.
Of all the holidays, Christmas was one of his busiest. His main work dealt with construction, but during the holidays, while his main job took a bit of a snooze, he'd turn to gift making of toys and other special-order items. He'd get requests for rocking chairs, jewelry boxes, romantic wall plaques with quotes among a plethora of other special requests. Robin found it a nice break from the usual construction of kitchen cabinets and stairwells, and to him, knowing he made someone's Christmas even more special with a customized gift made just for them was all worth the extra work.
His secretary, Isabela (Tink for short), walked in carrying his lunch as he worked away on a special Christmas gift, "Still working on that art set I see."
"It's got to be perfect," he replied as he carved out a curved floral design on one of the handles of the paint brushes with a small tipped knife. He sat away at his work table, with a half-finished set of paint tools all handmade intricately. It would all be stored in a specially made box with all the fixings for acrylic paints, pastel oils, and colored pencils to fill the storage along with a handmade easel and palette all made of the best woods, stained and glazed to perfection.
"Yeah, perfect enough that you've been working on this one since October, who is it for anyway? It's not on the work orders." Tink inquired, setting the lunch on a nearby table as she took out the boxed food.
"A new customer," he replied as he sets the brush down and moved to the table to begin eating.
"Yeah, but who is it? Like I said it's not on the work orders."
"You ask a lot of questions, don't you?" Robin remarks as he takes a bite of his sandwich.
"Only if you keep secrets from me. I am your secretary after all, I need to know of whatever secret shenanigans you're doing in case the wife shows up." She replies. Tink had a way with words, one that he had gotten accustomed to after a few years of working with her. The first few years were, well, odd to say the least but as Robin got to know her, he saw her for the special, authentic young girl she was.
"I've got no wife, I think you've mistaken me for someone else."
"I haven't, and I mean Regina." Great, here went someone else putting in their two cents into what was none of their concern.
"Regina is not my wife," he protests with a full mouth earning a roll of Tinks eyes. It was the typical cat and mouse game with Robin and Regina. They always denied any attraction they had for one another when people noted it. Tink, just like Roland, was blunt in his words and Robin never missed the frankness in her advice.
"She's your wife, I've called her that since the moment she stepped into Storybrooke. Not sure what you're waiting for to date her. She seems ready."
"I'm not… w-what did you say?" he stutters as he's just about to choke on his sandwich. She seemed ready? What in the bloody hell does that even mean?
"Have you seen the way she looks at you? Like she's waiting for you to just ask the damn question already!" Tink exclaims, clearly sick and tired of the roundabout with the two of them.
He rakes his hair, stressing over Tink's words now, he'd been biding his time to ask her, he'd seen signs from her, little gestures here and there but his confidence lacked which was what stopped him. She made him feel nervous, fucking nervous to ask her out and fucks sake he was dying to. He wanted to date her, get to know her and mixed signals and all it made him nervous if he got rejected. It was unlike him, completely unlike him to be nervous over a bird just to ask her out.
"Seriously, Rob, why haven't you asked her out. She seems to really like you, we all can see it, why can't you?" Tink finally asks, and he's thinks for a moment, because if it was nerves, he'd never really attempted to ask her out, never had planned to and chickened out. That wasn't the case so what was it?
"I don't think she's ready, or we aren't ready." he began to explain as he set his sandwich down on the wrapper, "I'm not sure what it is. I sensed it the other night when we shared some dessert… she seemed like she wanted to, but, something held her back. I guess without realizing it I was respecting her wishes."
"Don't you see it," Tink gasps as she stands in excitement, blonde curls jumping with joy, "What you two have! That unspoken connection, you can sense what the other needs, you're in sync and you don't even realize it! It's like fate… like, like you're soulmates!"
"We're not soulmates, we barely know one another," he protests against Tink's enthusiasm, against the gleam of possibility that anything like that, any type of special bond like that could have to do with him of all people.
"Don't give me that, you two know one another already and you don't even see it." She sits back on the stool, tossing her salad with a giddy smile thinking over of the two love birds, "I believe in it, soulmates. It's rare to find it in your lifetime, especially in a romantic sense… you'll see what I mean once you're with her… it'll be different with her, all of it, in a special way and you just won't be able to get enough."
He doesn't reply, he bites at his sandwich, choosing to ignore Tinks theory - for now at least.
.*.
The night of the ice-cream and apple pie had been more than both expected. They didn't talk much while they ate, Robin had asked Regina what she had done for Thanksgiving and she had let him know that she had gone to see family nearby and simply kept it at that.
She was a mysterious one that one and somehow, her short responses and somewhat half answers didn't sway him away from wanting to know more.
She didn't know what to think of Robin Locksley yet, better yet, how she felt about Robin Locksley.
With a butter croissant and a black coffee in hand, she was determined to get her Spring Semester classes selected. She had dropped out if college halfway through and was she finally felt she was back in the right place to be able to start.
She sat at Leroy's Cafe and Things, scanning over Storybrooke Community College spring catalogue. She planned to major in accounting. She was always good at numbers and since she was already helping Granny with the books at the diner, it felt only right that she gets a professional degree to back it all up.
"We meet again." She hears his voice. The knot at the pit of her stomach is instant, and she's excited, hell, happy she gets to see him again. She won't give much away, she can't.
"Robin, what are you doing here?" She asked as she closed her laptop.
"I think I should be asking you that. Aren't you technically betraying Granny's and your own diner by frequenting another establishment?"
She rolls her eyes with a grin, "Well, yes, but if I were to work on this at Granny's it would be no more than 2 minutes before people started coming up to me and trying to get me to take their orders. This place is also much quieter."
"Ah, I see." He replies brows raised as he nervously digs his hands in his pockets. She scans him a bit, a quick look over him that he notices but won't mention anything about. He simply clears his throat, looking to find what else to tell her, something to get the conversation going but he's at a blank. God, why the hell is it so difficult to talk to her – why does he get so nervous?
"So, what are you here for then?" She asks.
"Well, since this is Coffee & Things. He is just about the only proprietor that sells the type of hammer that I use for my work."
"What are you working on?" she asked.
"I'm helping out for the school play. They're going to do the remake of A Christmas Carol."
"Yeah, Roland told me about it a few days ago. He's playing Mr. Scrooge."
"Yes, and he graciously volunteered me to make the stage. He said that since he's one of the main roles, the entire family must participate."
She giggles, a soft sweet almost unashamed giggle but the tough clearing of Leroy's grumpy voice pauses her mid laugh. They both snicker, sharing knowing looks. They both quite like it, the easy conversation, and fuck, they like each other but neither will manage to say anything further than friendly conversation, so they will take in this moment. They savor the proximity, the shared glances and flirty smiles it's obvious in these moments and they love every single sweet happy moment of it.
"So, how's the props going then?" she asks moments later, after a silent flirty smile and a quick small bite of her lip, daring her to take a leap in their conversation.
Robin could not be more relieved she asked something because he's being a complete buffoon simply smiling at her and giggling with her. What is this woman doing to him that causes him to not even be able to form a proper conversation?
He clears his throat, with the excitement bubbling in his rapidly beating heart he responds, "Most are done, I've just got to paint them. That may take me all night since there's a bit of detail that goes into them."
"Do you have anyone helping you?"
"Marian is stuck knitting away costumes and Will and John have coincidently become quite busy." He replies hoping to elicit some form of a laugh from her - god, he loved to hear her laugh.
"Well hopefully you find someone to help you out."
"Let's hope I do. I've got to finish before the end of the week, so the kids can actually rehearse on it."
"I'm sure you'll be finished on time. Your work is good from what I've seen. They'll love it for sure."
"Thank you," he replies. He's pauses for a moment, thinking of anything else to say but he can't exactly think of anything else, just to ask if she'd like to go out with him. He can't manage the courage to go on and do that yet, so there he stands, nerves stricken and wordless as the girl he's been pining over raises her brow waiting to see what else he'll say.
"Well, see you around then," he says quickly and almost sprints out the door , the chime of the doorbell signaling his exit as Regina exhales in relief.
She's relieved, but only for a moment, until she hears his voice calling her name while the door chimes once again.
She turns, the knot in her stomach dreadfully returning and he's nervous it's clear, shit, what is he doing?
"You said I could cash in that favor you owed me for another favor."
"I did."
"Would you like to- um…"
Shit, he isn't asking her on a date as a favor, is he? Whatever the case, she's a ball of nerves, throat dry as a desert, waiting to hear what he has to say. She holds on tightly to the back of the wood chair and she just wants to walk out and not hear him ask her on a damn date. Not this way!
"Would you… like to help me paint the set? Tonight?"
She's beyond relieved, she could just kiss him at how thankful she is that he didn't ask her out like that - or at all!
A relieved breath leaves her, and she smiles at him, "I'm not the best but I can try."
"If your sketches are any indication, I think you're just the person for the job."
"How do you know I sketch?"
"I'm observant… of you," he confesses, and he must rewind his thoughts just to make sure that was exactly what he had replied. But it had been, and it was out and the open and there was no taking it back now, so he did his best to elicit the most confident face possible.
Oh, well then, he's upfront about that.
"So, tonight then, is that alright?"
She nods, "I work until 7 tonight, I'll come by after."
"See you then."
As he leaves the shop, and she continues to search away on her laptop once again but the question in her mind keeps nagging her. What would she have said if he had asked her out instead? She knows the answer, she knows what her heart would want to say and that scares her more than anything.
.*.
The diner was surprisingly slow tonight and she couldn't be more thankful because that meant she'd make it on time to Robin's. She had kept her eye on the clock then entire shift, making sure to not go too long without looking again, so she could get to Robin's on time. She was a ball of nerves, had almost dropped a few plates of food earlier today due to her clammy and shaky hands, but thankfully she managed to finish up the city scape she'd been working on this week and that seemed to calm her a bit. All that went out the window when the clock struck seven, and she began to undo her apron. An apron that was, for the first time, being difficult to untie.
Anita must have noticed her anxiousness, as just a few moments of struggling, she felt her cousin's hands move hers away and whisper that she'd help her out.
"You're angsty today, everything alright?" Anita asked as she hooked the apron on wall.
"I'm fine," Regina replied absentmindedly, looking in the depth of her bag for her room keys, "Can you let Remy know to fire up some two burger orders to go for me while I go change out of these clothes, please."
"Two?" Anita questioned confused. She barely could manage to finish one and she wanted two full burger orders.
"It's for me and Robin," she replied quickly, walking over to the counter hoping that the conversation ended at that. Boy, was she more than wrong. She took two slices of apple pie, and packed them in two containers, minding with all she could to not look over at Granny and Anita who stood arms crossed and smiles wide waiting to suffocate her with questions.
She put the money for the burgers and the pies in the cash drawer, and before she could make a good run for the door and up to her room, Granny grabbed her right in the arm, pulling her in front of the two gossip queens of Storybrooke.
"Robin, huh?" Granny asked with brows raised. Anita's smile gleamed, a huge smirk in her face eliciting pure pride for her little cousin.
Regina stood tall, looking between the two claimed Storybrooke PI's, "Yes, I'm helping him paint the stage for Roland's school play."
"Mmhmm," Granny replied as she wiped down the counter, keeping a jesting glare at Regina, "That sort of sounds like what Anita said to me when she went off with that good for nothing."
"Well that's not the case, if you think otherwise then that's your problem. I'm just helping him out," Regina affirmed to both women. She hoped to cut the conversation to an end and begin walking out, but as she passed by Anita what she said her turning on her heels wanting to set the record straight once again.
"Sure, ya are." Anita replied coyly as she placed the order on the ticket wheel, "Remy, these are for Regina, leave the onions out, she may be doing some kissing tonight."
"It is not a date."
"We never said it was." Granny replied, a devious grin at her face trying to hold back a laugh.
"Well your insinuating- "
"Relax girl. Were only teasing you. But if I'm being serious, you know it's about time you two talk more than just about your car and what he wants to have for lunch."
"It's nothing like that Granny, he said it himself, were just friends," Regina replied as she when over to Remy and made sure he in fact did leave out the onions on the burger. Even if it wasn't a date, smelly breath on top of nerves was not what she wanted tonight.
"That's what he's told you." Granny replies with a raised brow, hinting and hoping that Regina catches on.
"Wait, has he told you anything?" Regina asks, holding the bag dessert tightly arms crossed. So, it seemed Robin was talking about her, what exactly, she needed to know. Frankly, the fact that Robin was talking about her made her a bigger ball of nerves, why in the hell was she so nervous - it was just Robin.
"I thought you said you two were just friends? Why would you be so interested in anything past that with him?" Granny challenges, as she walks over to the stockroom to do some inventory, Regina following in tow. It was just like Granny to hold valuable information, like a wolf with its prey only giving room to feel like they have something but hint at more and make the victim squirm at the fact that she knew more than she leads on.
"I'm not – I just – Granny, what has he told you?" she demanded, trying her best to act calm, but inside, her butterflies whizzed around not bother to slow the fluttering excitement. Because that's what she was, excited, even if she denied it verbally or mentally, she was excited to know the prospect of Robin Locksley liking her.
"The boy likes you, Regina," she replies bluntly not meeting her gaze as she looks over the lot of dried grains. Regina was thankful at that, because she the flushed face rose tinted cheeks and widened eyes would have given Granny all she needed to know., "And given how you almost overflow all the coffees you pour whenever he's here, I'm pretty sure you like him too."
"I don't like him."
"No, you don't like him." Granny assures, turning to the nerve stricken and flushed girl. An understanding smile appears in Granny's face, she holds her niece's chin tenderly, hoping that she listens to her this one time. "You two are past that and you know that. Give each other a chance, give him a chance." She begs her and leave a soft pat on her shoulder as she leaves her to mull over it alone, in a stockroom full of possibilities.
.*.
She had forgotten how blistering cold it was. Her mind was elsewhere, matter of fact, her mind was thinking of someone. The entire walk was a complete circle of what ifs and her imagination running wild, think of all the scenarios of how the night may go. At every end, she told herself that it was just her helping him paint a stupid stage, which was all and there was no need for any of it to go any further. Deep inside her though, at the far corner of her heart in the hole where her truths laid, she hoped, perhaps that it would end on a good note, on a simple kiss or a small confession that would clear the tension between them. She chose to keep those truths stowed away in that corner of her heart and let them rest there until she mustered the courage to accept her own feelings for Robin.
She knocked on the door of the wood shop he owned, where above it was his apartment. She'd passed it a few times after her therapy sessions whenever she wanted to take the longer route. From time to time he was up late working, from what she was able to see through the wide glass window at the front of the shop. Every time she passed by and he was working, almost instinctively he'd look up, greeting and bidding her goodbye with a nod, almost bowing to her as if she was a queen. She returned the gesture with a small wave or a half smile.
For the first time, after passing what seemed like hundreds of times by his shop, she finally stood at the forest green door, waiting for him to open.
He hollered after her first knock, letting her know he was coming in. She anxiously tucked back the annoying loose bit of hair behind her ear, quickly looking herself over what she could making sure she looked presentable. She'd changed, twice in fact and she still hadn't felt she looked good or at all ready for painting. By the time she was half-way on her walk to his shop, she had rethought and criticized her outfit a few thousand times over. As she tried to re-adjust her scarf because, for the life of her, she was never able to arrange the scarf in a way that never felt like it was choking her, the door opened with Robin in clear view, wearing a plain white shirt and jeans that were splattered about with paint.
"You started without me, I see," she manages a second or so after she scans over her, realizing that she was staring at him while he stood there at the door with a wide smile giddy just to see her.
"Don't say you're disappointed," he replies as he lets her in the door. "Less work for you." He teases.
The tension is thick between them once he shuts the door. He helps her out of her winter coat, aides her in removing her scarf, twirling it from around her neck. He's close, god he's so fucking close she can see those damn ice blue eyes of his just as he locks on with hers.
She wants, him, Jesus fucking Christ, she wants him and she's in his workplace, suddenly having a fantasy of this exact moment, of him kissing her and taking her up against the wall as she feels him curve over every inch of her lusting body.
It only lasts a moment, that instant having her swallow hard at the realization that both, had just imagined the same thing. It's tense, suddenly so hot and tense that it's almost hard to breathe.
She suddenly senses the strong grip on the brown paper bag. Right, she brought burgers and she lifts the greasy brown bag. "I, uh, brought burgers. I realized after that I don't even have your number to let you know I was bringing over dinner. So, I hope you're hungry."
"I'm famished actually, you're a saint," he replies.
She raised her brow, oh if he only knew how much of a saint she was... "I'm not a saint," she replies shyly.
"Well, I quite think you are, love. Burgers equal sainthood."
"More like devil in disguise," she replies smirking, and it's her that's now surprised at the fact that he's smirking back, clearly catching on to the hints.
"No disguise from what I see, and no devil at all either," he begins to turn to the stairs that to lead up to his apartment, and shit, she's have those lustful thought again, especially those where his paint splattered shirt he's got on comes off.
"I've got drinks in the fridge upstairs. We can eat there now or later; however, you like," he replies halfway up the stairs. God fucking saint, he is so hot and it's becoming unbearable for her to not think of anything else.
She's stuck here, returning him a favor and it's going to be unbearable. She knows this, and she just wants to feel relaxed. She likes him, really likes him, but the timing for her is just all sorts of messed up but she can't help to want to smile at him and bat her eyelashes and just be in whatever way it is that's theirs.
"Regina?" he hears his voice call and he is standing there, mid staircase, a smile lit on his face that just makes her want to kiss him, and she can't think of any other way to be normal that to just be comfortable with him. So, she decides, in that moment, that she'll stop holding back, at least for tonight, she'd talk and laugh and smile and be carefree because that's how he makes her feel, and even as fucking scared she is of feeling that way, it just feels right.
"Didn't you say you were famished? Why do you want to wait?" she says as she walks over, walking up to one step of the stars, gazing up at him and she sees a glint of nerves at the thick swallow of his throat.
"I'd rather like to have dinner with you, so whenever you like."
Well, he's got a way with words that's for sure. He has a way with everything, she thinks. They agree to have dinner and ascend the stairs. They're stopped at the end of the stairs at the door to his apartment. He unlocks it and lets her into the small foyer, brushing her arm right past the muscled chest. It's the first form of physical interaction they may have possibly ever had. They're both squirming with tension, choosing to act as if they didn't notice the climactic surge of energy that's connected them.
It's quite beautiful she thinks, a small apartment, it's humble and simply him. There's a small kitchen, one that's clearly used often, a humble living space with a television and couches to sit in and she imagines how sweet it must be to share all this, this home with those he loves.
He stands a bit behind her as he watches her observe his home, he can't say that he minds though, because that allows him time to look at her and she is gorgeous. He notices the bag of burgers in her hand and he makes quick work of taking it from her, tenderly placing his hand at her back as she turns to meet his gaze, instructs her to give her the burger bag and for a split second he has to try and recall if he's ever been this close to her because she is far more beautiful up close and he quite enjoys the view.
As he sets the burger bag on the small dinner table, he walks over and pours over water. She takes out the burgers as he pours the drinks, and he sits, looking over to her as she hands him his food. It's all so domestic, no words needed to know their routine.
He's like a hormone filled school boy, eyes glued to her because she is sitting in his kitchen, in his home for the first time having dinner with him and it's just perfect. Not only that but she's utterly beautiful, he can't take his eyes off her lips as she carefully licks over them and gives her lower lip a gentle slow bite. He wants to have his way with her, that's simply it. He likes her, she's smart, witty and utterly independent and they're traits he admires in any women but in her, its different. They shine in her, they make her even more radiant than she already is. It doesn't hurt that she's purely sexy and he'd be more than pleased to show her just how sexy and lustful she makes him feel.
He's absentmindedly staring every part of her, something that does not go without notice by her "You make the staring pretty obvious, you know?"
Robins eyes grow wide and he gulps his drink down, attempting to clear the dried throat and flushed cheeks of embarrassment. He'd been caught red-handed and she was smiling. "My apologies."
"You don't have to apologize, I don't mind it," she replies, eyes looking at him from the side, a flirty smile at her lips and he nods.
They eat casually, chatting about simple nonsense about the food all the while sharing flirty smiles and low giggles as they eat away at fries once the burgers are done. Regina takes out the slices of pie, but they're both full and decide to share just one as they continue chatting. It's comfortable, sweet and just really nice. It's clear to both feel the connection, not just in the way they look, but through small hand gestures when the conversation warrants, a simple rub on the arm, a quick brush of one another's hands as they both take scoops of pie.
"So, you never did tell me, what you were you doing at Leroy's." Robin asks as he sets the food particles in the trash. He'd been curious, he did frequent Leroy's shop a lot and it was the first time he had seen her there.
"I was looking into spring classes at Storybrooke College," she says while helping him tidy up the table.
"College? That's great. What do you want to go for?" he questions, taking his keys as they begin to descend down the stairs to the back of his shop.
"Accounting," she replies simply. He begins to assemble the buckets of paint, as she stands observing him, waiting to be instructed. He gives her a paint brush and shows her the backdrop for the stage that he's made. They begin to paint, starting at opposite ends, coating the three layers of paint for snow, mountains, and sky.
"Not to be rude," he says once they've begun painting, "but, you don't seem like the accountant type."
She turns sharply toward him, brows furrowed in clear defense, "Why because of the band tee shirts and jeans? I work at Granny's."
"I don't mean the outfits," he quickly corrects her, hoping she doesn't think he's judged her for her appearance. "You draw and from the bit I've managed to see, you're quite good. Why don't you pursue that?"
She moves to coat her brush with more white paint to fill the rest of the lower part for the snow. She stands looking at him, almost explaining to him that fact that he did not understand her situation, "I need something that brings in stability. I have responsibilities and I have a-," she pauses, her eyes straying from his gaze as she quickly turns to sit in front to the unpainted space, "people, who need me."
"Well it's admirable to choose a profession for the betterment of yourself. If you don't utterly detest it, I say go for it." He commends as he moves then to sit next to her, finishing up the lower part of the snows capes.
"So, I need your approval to choose a profession then, is that it?" she teases, and she likes the wit and banter, the sly comebacks that he's willing to take from her. She's having a really good time with him, she feels silly and carefree, so she dabs away at his arm, just below where his sleeve ends, painting him over with white.
He turns confused and looks at his arm, sniggers shaking his head and well, she's being silly, why can't he. He dips his finger in the white paint and wipes it on her arm. Her mouth opens, grinning at him at his daring attempt as he replies to her, "Well I am your friend so, maybe not approval but perhaps advice. So, I say take it, love."
"Do you know what I should take?" she challenges, "this paint bucket and dump it over you, Locksley."
"You wouldn't," he attempts to sound shocked, but fails at the sight of the bite of her lips and the at the sound of her sweet giggle filling his shop. She's absolutely stunning, beautiful and he just wants her to know. She notices his gaze, and the bite vanishes along with her laugh and it's replace with wanting eyes and it's there, both finally see what everyone else has been trying to show them.
He cups her cheek, and it's the first time his senses touch her in a way that he can feel her, soft skin in the palm of his hands. She doesn't move, eyes wide waiting for him to do whatever he's set his heart on doing.
"Do you know how beautiful I find you, Regina?" He can feel the tremble of her body against his hand, eyes unwavering locked on him and only him.
She doesn't respond, closes her eyes, wanting to take in the feel of him against her lips It's better than she'd imagined, fuck it's so damn perfect he doesn't want him to stop his thumb tenderly on her cheekbone.
"Stunning," he whispers, a secret confession only to her. She looks at his eyes filled with tender care, promise and want for her.
It feels like second nature somehow, like they've done this before somewhere in another time or place - another life perhaps. She kisses him, soft full lips meeting his as she places her hands on his face, making sure to assure herself that this is real.
And it is, it's real and it's so fucking good. They're hungry it seems, wanting to kiss and bite and feel one another's lips together, molding perfectly in every encounter. He begs entrance and finds sweetness in her mouth, offering more to her at every breath and every caress.
He wants more, and fuck he knows she does too. Her grip tightens at his arms, wanting him to give her more and he'll gladly give her all he's got. He trails down her neck, arching her as he pecks and nips at her, finally feasting on her. Her breathing is heavy, a low hum reverberating at her thought, letting him know she loves the feel.
She loves it, everything about it. She's wet, and panties soaking more and more from the way she feels his bit of gruff on her neck, fuck how does he kiss so good, he's just kissing her neck and it's making her want to moan.
She moves to kiss him again, this time, he begins to stand and lifts her up with him, without any delay kisses her again, pressing her against the nearest wall and kneading at the curve of her waist. She holds onto his muscled arms, her right hand getting sticky with the paint from his arm, but she doesn't bother to care at the feel of him, leans against his touch, her every inch with his own body.
She delves her hand under his shirt, feeling him for the first time. His warm skin arouses her, makes her need him just as much as the feel of his hand against her skin has him wanting her.
Their kissing begins to get heavier and full of need and between his pecks over her cheek, forehead and lips. He confesses to her his want for her, his need to kiss her from the moment he met her.
"Don't stop then," she begs him, and he replies with an assuring never.
Once he replies, affirming he'd continue her eyes blink open. Fuck, this isn't supposed to happen. Her body stiffens, and she shimmies away from his hold. He's confused, completely taken aback asking her what's wrong while she walks out of the small shop, making her way to get her coat trying her best to ignore the pleading questions from Robin, asking her what was wrong.
"I just, I can't do this." Daring to meet his gaze, he's more than disappointed and confused. She manages to whisper a sorry filled apology and marches out of the building, trying to catch her breath, wiping away any evidence of her tear-filled face.
.*.
It wasn't like her at all, not any part of it, to run off like she did the night prior. She felt bad, really did for just leading Robin on at a moment of weakness and then just run off leaving him confused.
She was walking on eggshells at the diner, tiptoeing at the fact that he may walk in any minute and she'd have to face him, be in the same room as him and it has her spilling coffee and running into trays of food in the kitchen.
All day she was batting eyes at the door whenever it chimed, hoping to god that it wasn't him at the entrance. Granny noticed and sent her on a bit more breaks than usual, thinking it may have due to a hitch in her recovery, she let her take a few hours off in hopes that is would calm her anxiety.
She returned for dinner service, with a levelheaded mindset and her confidence boosted. She would take things head on and be clear with Robin, if he did ever show up. She asked Anita if Robin had come back during her absence, surprisingly he'd not shown up at all. Only Roland came by to pick up a lunch to go order. She realized that, as her heart fell, he was avoiding her. Probably spiteful because of the way she just walked out on him. She couldn't blame him, she had lead him on, had kissed him first, but fuck he made it so difficult. In her defense, well, she didn't have a defense. It was a fact that she had the hots for Robin and took her chance when she saw it - and chickened out at the taking.
Aside from the paranoia circling her head, she takes moments here and there, where she remembers him, feels the soft prickly kisses on her neck and the tightening of his hand at her waist, smoothing over her back.
He had a way with hands, it seemed, they were calloused and strong, able to exude the erotic moans she'd kept to herself on late nights of fantasizing. He was good, good and she couldn't deny that she wanted more, even if she felt it wasn't right for her.
By closing time she'd given up any hope that he'd show up and she was more than glad he didn't. If he had, she'd have to explain to him the entire ordeal from start to finish, explain to him the sordid story of her past and she was not willing - not able - to let whatever expression or reaction he had at her confession meet her eyes.
There had been dates in the past years, and they all ended in the same way after the first date. They'd tell her that they wished her the best of luck, but they did not want to deal with that sort of drama. Others acted like they didn't mind at all, in fact even promised to be there to help her on her worst days, on days that she was just about to crack. All that of course was just talk, they had run out the moment things got too real for them. So, it was a good thing he didn't show up because she did not want to deal with the emotional repercussion that was a negative response from him.
The lights had dimmed, Granny and Anita were off to bed and she's the only one left at the diner, counting money at the cash register. She's so engrossed in counting the one-dollar bills that the sound of heavy footsteps coming from the hallway of the back automatically have her thinking it's Granny, coming to check in with her as she always does on difficult days.
"I'm almost done Granny," she mumbles in between her counts. But this time, in place of Granny was Robin.
She forgot in an instant what number she was on, dropping the whole stack on the counter as he stood at the frame of the doorway where the back hall met the diner.
"Who let you in?" she asks with a clear of her throat. She tucks the loose hair behind her ear, attempting to focus back on counting the bills but it all fails when he walks over to stand in front of her with only the bar counter to separate them.
"Anita let me in, can we talk?" And shit, the last thing she wants to do is talk.
She nods, asking him to give her a moment as she finishes counting the till, hoping that somehow more a few hundred magically appear causing her to delay the exact start of this conversation.
He's staring, unabashed and confidently staring at her with piercing eyes that remind her of the way he looked at her the night prior, wanting her against the wall, sucking at her lower lip. But she gets uncomfortable at the moment, recalling how they were hot and heavy while he sits there, staring at her intently, examining her over like a work of art that he just can't take his eyes off. For a split second she meets his gaze, and a slick pull of her lips forms and it just has him returning the smile, both knowingly aware of the tense conversation ahead yet this comfort between them, the unspoken connection makes the entire mood all that more light and open. She's thankful for it, so thankful because she doesn't know if she'd able to manage the conversation with him, not when he's so good and kind and there's the prospect that he may lose interest, or the good thoughts he has of her will disappear at the confession leaving her lips.
She finally finishes, closes the till shut and undoes her apron, anxiously dropping it atop the counter as she looks at him. He's so fucking nice to look at, especially with those hopeful eyes of his giving her reassuring glances.
"I didn't come by until now, because I didn't exactly want to have this conversation while you serving burgers and I wanted to give you space," he explains and she thanks him for that, she really did need the day to just let it all flow out without him there to intensify her emotions even more.
"Why'd you run off, Regina?" he finally asks, "If I came on too strong or it was too much for you, I apologize for anything I did." She can see it, the bewildered confused look, disappointed in himself and it aches her heart to see him guilt-trip himself so much for something that's nowhere near his fault.
She shakes her head, "It wasn't your fault, Robin. I enjoyed it… all. My time with you-"
"Then what was it, love?" he begs her, taking the hand that's planted on the counter, which has clammed a slight bit from the anxiousness she's riled up.
She wants to tell him, wants to explain to him that it's not him, it's her and he deserves to know. She tells him that she very much likes him, and it lights up his face in a joyful gleam, but that the timing is just not right. The discouraged frown but understanding tender gaze he gives her heart contracting, fuck she's such a horrible person. Here she is, rejecting him all the while she was the one who lead him on and walked out on him without an explanation.
He only nods, but his discouraged gaze never leaves her, she sees the battle within him, attempting to put on a brave face, like it doesn't affect him, but it does, and it just breaks her heart.
So, against her better judgment, she decides to be open. He's clearly confused still and somehow guilting himself for doing something wrong to her. She wants to ease him, assure him that he'd done nothing short of being a gentleman to her. "I like you, Robin, a lot. If things were different, if I didn't think I'd ruin it all-"
He quickly adds in that she wouldn't ruin anything at all and she thinks it's just so sweet, so like him to never think less of her but she continues all the same. "If things were different I wouldn't even think twice about being with you. I want to, really, really want to. I just need to make sure I'm in a right place. I moved to Storybrooke to get a fresh start, I relapsed-"
"Relapsed?" he asks, brows furrowed clearly now more confused than ever.
Well, it's out now, might as well tell him.
She takes in a deep tense breath, looks at him in his hopeful, kind blue eyes and tells him her truth.
"I'm an addict," she confesses, then clears her throat and attempts to must some form of courage to be able to look him in the eyes a she clarifies, "Recovering… addict."
She expected some form of surprised or stunned reaction from him, but the silence that followed made her far more uncomfortable than any shocked face. There was no judgement anywhere in his gaze, but a warm and accepting face. Her breathing slightly quaking at the nerves, but he remains silent, hoping to god that there's nothing horrible out his mouth or another sob hope speech because she gets enough of those.
It's the slack of her shoulders, a weight lifting off from her that surprises her because she was worried, fucking scared that Robin would think less of her for it, but his pensive demeanor exudes no ill thoughts and it's so damn unnerving to her. So, she waits, standing across from him with only the counter for a divide, the moments ticking away, and he won't stop staring at her.
But of course, how could she expect any less from this understanding, caring man when he places his hand atop hers, on the hand that had been tapping away nervously at the wooden table. His silent defense and the warmth of him - of his care for her, has her heart leaping at the sensation of his touch.
They remained there, him thumbing her hand, her taking in the feel of his skin- the feel of the moment, the intimacy and his unspoken support for her. "You know, I didn't think I would like you more than I did but I do," he replies, finally, with a loving smile plastered on his charming face.
And yes, if throws her off completely, never in her years of recovery has she ever had that response. "W-What do you mean?"
"You're beautiful, and bloody elusive. It's driven me mad trying to figure you out since you got here. I knew you were a good person, I see in the way you treat my son. I sensed strength in you, resilience but I never saw how much until now. You're so strong and brave. Battling this on a daily basis and winning every day. Its admirable."
"I'm not- "she shakes her head. Denying his accolades, she doesn't believe it. How could she be this strong, brave person when she can't even face herself some days. Yet, here is the man who she fucking likes, assuring her, telling her that she is worth it, that she is brave, and he thinks just about the world of her. It sends that damn warm feeling to her heart again and she does her best to hold back just melting into his touch as much as she'd love to.
"You are. To me you are," he assures so lovingly, and with another hand placed on hers as he kisses them, one's sweet and loving that she takes the soft tenderness as an affirmation of his pride for her.
"I don't know why I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders," she chuckles attempting to break the evident tension.
"Maybe because I'm not a family member or an NA attendant. I'm a friend."
Well, that does make sense. It also could be that inexplicable connection she feels with him, but she chooses to keep that to herself.
"Maybe. I just… I want you to know I would never do anything or talk to Roland about any of this. It's… I'm not that person." She wants to make that clear, she loves that kid. Really truly thinks he is a special person and just hopes that this doesn't change his behavior when she interacts with Roland. She promises, assures him that she would never knowingly put Roland in harm's way.
"I didn't have any worries about that. If I did, I'd let you know."
He seems sure, but she's not all that convinced. She again, tries to assure him by telling him that he's free to inform Marion, to make sure both parents are aware of who's around his son, because she would want that for Henry.
"I don't see any need to tell her if there's nothing to worry about. But if it puts you at ease, I will talk to her." He finally agrees and she's thankful he's willing to lay the cards out with Marion. Even if whatever Robin and Regina had wouldn't work out, she cares for Roland, and that to her is just as important.
"Do you have any questions for me?"
"It's not a question, don't feel like I'm interrogating you because that's definitely not the case. Just, how did it start?"
She scoffs embarrassingly as she begins to explain to him her naive college years that soon ended with dropping out due to her wild partying and drug addiction. She confessed to him her love for Daniel, Henry's father and their drug-strung romance. Both rebelling against the pressures of family expectation, against Regina's suffocating mother and her piercing belittlements at every turn. Daniel, once sweet and hopeful scarred by the loss of his mother and constant hate from his father. Both at first wanting to escape went down black hole of addictions they saw no end to.
As she details the road to her addiction, she finds that his gaze it nothing but attentive, there is no malice, no judgment in sight only a tenderness she's slowly growing to find it feel like home.
He asks her one last question, and she becomes a lighter form of herself as she explains the two people who caused her to take a new oath in her life.
"Well it was a bit of my father but mostly my son." A blissful pull at her lips had him grinning as well.
"You have a son?" He asks, his expression changed, it had a but slight if a surprise but his respect for her grew. She was a mother, battling.
She grinned proudly, "Yes, Henry. He's just perfect." She explains, through slowly forming glazed eyes. She rarely talked about her son. She chose against it mainly for the fact that if she did mention it, the whirlwind of questions would start coming and she preferred to avoid it at all costs because with the explanations came judgement, and she just had enough of that from people.
"But, why isn't he here with you?" Robin, more so concerned it seemed for the wellbeing of the child, thinking that perhaps he was ill rather than for the unfortunate truth Regina would confess.
"He's living with Mal, my sponsor, she's his godmother," he acknowledges with an ah as she proceeds to explain the sordid story that was the past few years of her life. She tells him without him even asking because she knows he's curious and wants him to know her and hopes that he'll accept her even with all her damaged goods. So, she continues, starting from when she found it she was pregnant with her baby boy. How both her and the father, Daniel, had promised to get clean for him, to start fresh for their child. But only she kept the promise, and with every broken piece of her heart she had to let Daniel go and choose her son, she'd always choose her son. He was intent, hearing her as she explained, tenderly lacing his hand with hers as she welcomes his comfort, his acceptance. He congratulates her, tells her it's admirable and honorable what she chose, and she scoffs, tells him it shouldn't be that way, that a mother should not feel like giving up things for her child is a sacrifice, but he stops her through her self-criticism. Assures her he believes its honorable and that he admires her, somehow, she believes him, and the voice of self-deprecation stills while he gives her knuckles a tender kiss, finding a small gesture to try and convince her.
"That must have been one hell of a shock," he comments, hands still laced and eyes unwavering.
"It was. I was 22, had dropped out of college by then and there it was a little baby growing inside me."
He merely smiled, "Kids have a way of changing our whole world, don't they?"
She chuckles, "Oh yeah, they do."
"So," she continues, "I had been clean for a good amount of time, about four years and then Daniel came back. He had no money and asked me for help."
"Was he still on drugs?"
"No, he seemed fine. I was hesitant still. I knew him, and I knew how well he was at convincing, so I kept him at a distance. He claimed he wanted to see Henry and be a family. It took a good two months of him begging until I caved and let him move in. Everyone, my parents, Mal, my gut, everything told me it was a bad decision. And it was the worst decision I could have made..."
"He wasn't off the drugs?"
"He got good at faking it apparently. I was where he was, I thought he wanted to change and be a father to his son. The asshole only used him to get me to let him back in. He started asking for money little by little. Next thing we were fighting about where the money went, and he started getting sloppy. I found a pack of coke in his jeans. I told my friend Mal and she helped me kick him out."
"I had been struggling after being with Daniel. Too close to that it finds a way to get back into your life."
"Then my father died. I wasn't strong enough and… it was one of the times Daniel came. He'd found out too and told me to just go out with him for old times' sake. He'd get my mind off it. I just wanted to feel something… feel something that wasn't that hole in my heart."
"I asked Mal to watch Henry for the night. I had just planned to go out for a drink. I never even made it to the bar, he found me outside my apartment. I don't remember anything of that night. I regret it, I should have never gone with him. But I missed him, he's known me for so long, knew me so well."
"I just… if I could not have this, if this darkness wasn't in me, things would be different. It just takes over you and you can't stop. It ruined so much of my life. I missed on so much and I just got to a point where I realized it needed to stop. I was good for some time, strong, but last year it broke me."
"Oh, love," he kisses her fisted hands once again. Let's them go and walks over to her side of the counter, her eyes never leaving him. Her eyes filled to the brim with tears that unknowingly start to fall. She's so thankful to him, so thankful for being so kind and open to her story. To hearing her with his heart and choosing to see past all her sins.
He presses a gentle kiss to her forehead, clears the trailed tears. His hands cupping her tenderly soothing whatever pain she now feels. She's like putty in his hand, unable to stop herself from leaning in to his touch, his warmth.
"This is why you ran off last night," he concludes as she nods humming a yes in response still leaning in to his touch.
And against everything inside her heart telling that she wants to take it further with him, she knows she shouldn't, "And this is why that can't happen again. We… can't happen."
"You really believe you're such a lost cause you don't deserve the opportunity to have love?" He moves to soothe her arms, pressing her in hopes that she'll reconsider.
"It's better this way."
"It's not, and I think you know that. But I won't argue. It's your choice," he plants a small kiss on her check, smiling tenderly at her, "Just know that I do plan to ask you out eventually. And I plan to kiss you far more than I did last night, without interruptions."
The hitch of her breath has him smirking, "You pretty confident about that."
"As confident at the fact that you and I should give us a chance," he holds her chin tenderly, running his thumb slowly over its tip, "And you're a bloody brilliant kisser that I'm dying to kiss more of."
The shy snicker she elicits boosts his confidence, she likes him, so he'll wait, wait until she comes to him.
"Just know love, you've got a friend in me. Whether we go further or not, I'm here for you always." He promises her, and she knows he means it, giving her a small peck to her lips but never going further. It's tender soft and them, it warms her and all she wants to do is have him hold her, feels his closeness. She wraps her arms around his neck and he naturally tighten his hold on her waist, soothing her as he rubs her back peppering small kisses at the crook of her neck.
She nestles against his shoulder letting him comfort her as she takes him in scent, she hadn't noticed it last night due to the hurried kisses, but she does now, and she wonders how she'll manage to separate herself from his embrace when he makes her feel so safe, loved and accepted.
.*.
The snow came in with full force, filling the streets to the brim, and sealing cars shut in blocks of ice.
At Granny's diner, the smell of apple cinnamon filled the room as fresh pies came out of the over on Sunday morning. The Locksley-Edwards gang sat chatting away at one of the booths, while Regina sat on the far corner, closest to the window facing the street view. She'd paid no attention to the beautifully snow-covered bushes and trees, her attention was on a rather handsome blue-eyed Brit, who was quite insistent in keeping his eyes glued on her.
She played it off well at first, making it seem like she didn't notice the obvious gawking he'd been doing over breakfast (Roland and Marion were too engrossed in planning their itinerary for their Europe trip to bother and notice either), but Regina more than noticed, she felt the stares. She felt his eyes scanning over her, watching as she focused on reviewing the books and budget for the next month that it made it impossible to do anything. She'd look up at him a couple times throughout the interaction, he'd react with an automatic wide grin, as if being able to feast his eyes on her brown eyes was all the prize he'd ever need.
Regina couldn't say she minded either, although they had agreed to remain friends, it was proving difficult by the day. The tension between them was long gone after that night full of confessions. The cards had been laid out clearly on the table and there was nothing left but to be open and honest about it all.
She'd forced herself to go back onto reviewing the books when the creaking of the chair against the tiled floor had her looking up to see who it was, of course, Robin. A cheeky, smug grin laid out on his stubbled face as she attempts to hold in a smirk.
Yeah, they're horrible at just being friends.
"You've been staring," she says while her eyes stay glued on invoices, but she can see him, out of the rim of one of the papers that's she's raised conspicuously to cover her face, his toothy smile in full view just for her and if they weren't in public she's sure she'd end up kissing that face of his instantly.
The heated fantasy turns cold as the door chimes, entering Granny and Leroy bellowing in a sea of fury over who'd be serving the pies and who'd be serving the drinks at the festival.
They argue away into Granny's office. Bickering like an old married couple while the rest of the diner laughs at the display.
She turned her attention back to Robin, who'd been doing nothing but taking in the sight of her. It seemed that their conversation the previous night had made him all the more confident and comfortable with her rather than keeping his distance.
Even if when she had turned him down, had told him that she was not at the place to date, she was glad he still managed to find a way to respect her wishes while still shamelessly flirting with her whenever he could.
"You're still staring," she whispered to him, trying to seem like she doesn't like the attention.
She loved the attention.
"I quite like looking at you, love," he admits. The coy smile returns along with the blushed cheeks and she just can't help but give him a toothy smile.
Just out the corner of her eyes, she sees Roland, smug face and all as he observes their exchange. She keeps her eyes set on Robin, making sure she doesn't make eye contact with Roland because if she did, he'd surely tease her from a distance.
"Did you tell something to Roland about the other night? He's staring at us like he knows something," she asks him.
He shakes his head, attempting to be conspicuous as he reaches for her hand that's now laid on the table. She looks down at his reach for her, stopping his movements once he's reached the tips of her fingers, "That's something between you and I, and no one else," he replies, "I wouldn't do that. He'll know when there's something that he needs to know. For now, he's just looking at you like that, hoping that you let me give you a good snog."
She laughs out loud, a free laugh that has him smiling at how he makes her laugh like there is no care in the world. Against his better judgment he moves his fingers a bit more over hers, rubbing over the curve of her hand between her thumb and index, circling soothing touches.
She's soft, so silky soft he can't get enough of her. He'd kissed her, touched over her body in an instinctual way that had him never wanting to let go and now he'd been deprived of her touch for the past few days. He'd get whatever he could of her, even if it was such a small dose. She doesn't seem to mind, she looks down at his caress, a small pull of her lips (one she tries not to make noticeable) creeps into her gaze. The diner is bustling, patrons chatting away, dishes clamming and Granny and Leroy arguing at their wits ends, it all ends in muffled noise when they touch.
It was short-lived though, the buzzing of her phone detaching them as she looked to see who it was. He saw her flushed face turned beet red as she looked at the phone screen. She set the phone face down instantly, as a thin watered glaze formed over her eyes. She looked like she'd seen a ghost, face gone pale and hand shaking as she began to put away the bookkeeping paperwork.
"You alright, babe?" He asked, placing his hand atop her shaky ones. She didn't reply, but her eyes darted over to her phone as it keeps vibrating over the table until it stopped. She moved her hands away from his protection, looking over her phone, swiping as her brows furrowed over the contents of the screen.
"Regina," he called for her attention, she was bat eyed and still shaken from whoever it was that called her. She looked up at him hesitantly as he asked, "Are you alright, who was that?"
"No one," she replies blankly, clearing her throat. She slips her phone in her pocket and gathers her things, standing from her seat. "I uh, I have to go. See you around."
He wasn't even able to respond when she was halfway gone out the back, while he sat there, once again left by her in a confused state.
.*.
It had been a few days and she hadn't said a word to him, to anyone in fact. For the first time since he met her, he'd seen her in a foul mood. She'd been frustrated before, annoyed even, but never to this extent.
She'd been snarky with Granny a couple times, Robin witnessed it at one point when when he sat at the counter and Regina bad mouthed Granny. She'd been on a mean streak for a couple days now, and one thing lead to another and she'd be more than rude to Granny. Robin had tried to intervene, make her see that she was not being kind to her, let alone many others including him, but Granny stopped him, told him that she was having a rough few days and that it wasn't a big deal.
That was the thing, it was a big deal, this was not like her. The Regina he met, the one he had gotten to know was unlike this one now, but he bit his tongue. He liked her, a lot, but that did not mean he'd remain oblivious to situations where she was being harsh and inconsiderate.
She had even bit back at him for returning a sandwich that had been delivered to him with onions when he'd ask to have them omitted. She'd been short and rude in her service, and he was just not willing to let it pass by after she'd been in a pure foul mood the days prior.
He tried to call her out on it, but to no avail, she bit back with sarcasm and indifference and one thing lead to another and he walked out, slammed the door.
He was thankful that Roland had been spared from her fury, though. He was sure that she cared for Roland very much and was relieved to know that at least he seemed to be the only one that could put a smile on her face.
He'd tried to approach her, check in and see what it was that was bothering her, but she'd shut herself completely to others, and it seemed that no matter what way he tried to engage her, he was always given a wall of indifference.
It was only until a certain night that he'd been talked into by Roland to go over to her apartment and see how she was. He'd decided to go since they'd gotten into a heated argument at Leroy's & Things over the fact that he had been trying to be attentive with her. She'd dismissed him, told him that he needed to learn to stay away from a woman when she had asked him to. He felt hurt, they'd had a good few days, but now in the past two it seemed that things were not looking well for the both of them.
Roland had come through for the both though. Like a teenager, he told his father one evening as a new episode of the Flash played over the T.V. that he needed to be nicer to Regina, that she needed his friendship and patience.
"Talk to her dad, she seemed really sad. I know she likes you a lot, you do too. Just be patient with her." He sat at on the couch with his son, amazed at whatever higher power had bestowed his son with all that wisdom.
So, after his son had gone to bed, once it was dark and the only light out was that of glittering stars, he trekked the newly formed snow out down the gazebo on 23rd street, where he first found her crying and where he invited her to share a pint of vanilla ice cream. He waived to all the workers who were staying up late laying out the wreath and adorning the scattered Christmas trees with ornaments.
He felt like shit, realized he could have understood her situation and been more patient. He was still getting to know her, and it seemed like she was very closed off to a lot of people. He felt like a right git for the fact that she had opened to him, shared a part of her that was both heartbreaking and extremely personal and he had not taken that into account. She had a past, one that was complicated, and she was just trying to get back on her feet, trying to keep above water and he had not been as considerate and patient as he should have.
He hears the cracking of metal first, as he turns the corner, in front of Granny's he sees her, shivering away, hitting the front bumper of the old Honda Civic, shrieking at it. He can see tears trailing down her cheeks, and she's just about to explode with all the fury she's bottled up.
"Regina, love, you'll hurt yourself, what's wrong?" He trots over, and she quickly turns on her heels, barking at him to leave her alone as she begins to make her way back into the Inn.
"I'm not leaving you alone," He tells her, halting her on her heels and she turns around, reddened eyes and breath thick. She's quaking, furious but quaking, about to catch her death surely, and he notices she's only got a simple cardigan to cover her.
He makes his way to her, removing his jacket in the process and placing it over her shoulders. He removes his mitts and warms her cheeks with his hands. Her quaking subsides as his hands remain soothing her frosted cheeks. Her eyes, glazed and heavy with a sadness he's managed to see whenever she's this close to him, are locked in his hopeful ones.
She leans against his touch once he's settled his hands on her jaw. She feels relieved for the first time in days but guilty all the same because she knows she's been just horrible to everyone for things that they didn't have a single fault in.
"I'm sorry for being so horrible the past few days," she whispers to him, veering her gaze away from his, but he doesn't let her, brings her back to him to meet his understanding eyes.
"Does this behavior have anything to do with the call you got a few days ago? The one you ignored?" He concludes, and she nods, her lower lip trembling but he runs his thumb over it, soothing away the tension.
"It was Daniel," she whispers against his thumb, "He's been calling me… I haven't answered."
"What does he want?" he asks, knowing her past, knowing the history both her and Daniel had, a call from him was to worry about.
"I don't know… money, to get back with me, to see Henry?" her voice wavering at the mention of her son's name, "I can't let him get near Henry… not after last time, not after I fell off like I did."
"Then we won't let him, Regina," he promises her, and she can't see anything other than his protective promise. She exhales, for once she feels like it's possible, like she's not the only person battling her surroundings. She can finally keep hear head above water and just breath.
"That's why I'm trying to get this stupid car to work. I need to go see Henry. I haven't seen him in a few weeks… I've been trying to get things in order for him, so he can finally come home with me," she explains as he moves over to inspect the car engine.
"This car is on its last legs, I've told you that, love," he explains as he closes the hood of the car, "You won't make it past the town line… especially in this weather."
She breathes out a defeated sob, attempting to clear the tears as they fall without care. He moves back to holding her, soothing her as she's unable to hold down all the stress and anxiety she's held down all these days.
What he tells her next not only ceases her crying but throws her off for a loop with his inexplicably kind and generous to her. "Take my car, Regina. Go see your son."
She stutters, not finding the words to say at his offer, but manages after a few breaths, "Robin, I can't do that. This isn't your problem to solve, it's mine."
"I wasn't planning on using it either way, I've got to work on that blasted stage for Roland," he explains, eliciting some form of a smile that he's more thankful he was able to do, "So take it, babe, go on and see your son."
She's hesitant, once again awestruck by his generosity, and simple faith in her.
It's clear to him she won't say anything, so he chooses to make the decision for her. He places the keys in her hand, closing them shut and gives her hand a soft peck. He clears the bit of tears that are now drying, and tells her once again, "God see your son, love."
With a firm hold on the keys, she embraces him tightly thanking him over and over as she gingerly peppers kisses on the nape of his neck. It seems that even when they had agreed to remain as just friends, their affections had not. Their affections were instinctual, and neither of them protest at that. She feels his hands wrap around her back, reaching around her thin form, even when bundled up in thick coats, he still manages to wrap his arms around her, covering her in his warmth as he soothes over her hitched breath.
"You have no idea how much this means to me," she whispers to him, she parts from their embrace, cups both her hands over his cheeks, stroking his stubble all the while his happy smile remains.
After she's calmed down a bit more, he helps her take her luggage out of her car and take them on over to his. He stows them away while she turns on the car and heats it up for the long ride ahead.
She rolls down the window as the car remains running, he hunches down and rest his hands at the frame of the window. She's got a wide smile plastered on her face as she talks to Mal, letting her know she'll be arriving by morning. He's more than relieved at the fact that he's managed to help solve something for her, because the smile plastered on her face as she explains to Mal her arrival time warms his heart.
She hangs up and turns to look at Robin, "That was Mal, Henry's already asleep but he should be up by the time I get there."
"That's good to hear, babe," he replies. "So, tank is full and there's an emergency kit and spare tire in the trunk. Call me if you need anything alright?"
"Thank you for this Robin, I don't know how to repay you for it but just give you more pie," she chuckles.
He smiles, delicately stroking her jawline, and she doesn't seem to mind, only keeps her eyes focused on him, with a grin, "It's enough to know you'll see your son."
She gives gingerly moves her hand over his stubble cheek, thumbing at as she breathes out a final thank you and how she doesn't know what she would have done if he hadn't come by. With a final kiss to his cheek, she drives off on her way to see Henry.
.*.
She manages to arrive to New York right in the morning. Mal had texted her on one of her rest stops that Henry had woken up earlier than usual and once he'd heard the news that Regina was coming to visit him, he'd been scampering about the house collecting all the new things he wanted to show her.
Once she arrived and parked right in front of Mal's townhouse, she saw the waiting eyes of a hazel little boy peeking through the curtains of the window nearest to the door. She merely snickered at the yelp she heard from inside when she stepped out of the car.
She starts to get her luggage from the trunk of the car, and she chuckles hearing her son try to twist the doorknob to get the door opened. He hollers to Mal to hurry up and help him open the door.
She stands at the door, bags set on the ground next to her, and she can't help but feel the excitement rush through her, hearing the voice of her baby boy not wanting to calm for one moment. She hears Mal, from the inside, remind Henry to make sure he was ready to see his mom and he presses on, hissing at her in anticipation to 'pretty please open the door'.
In an instant of the door being open, in a flash of excitement, Henry rushes to Regina, smashing himself into her, yelping over and over that she was finally here with him. She picks him up, his legs wrapping around her waist as his arms are tightly wrapped around her neck, pecking her with loving kisses as she does the same.
"Hello, my sweet boy," she whispers in his ear only to elicit a giddy giggle from him as he replies with not a hello but rather, questioning whose car she had come in.
"Yeah, mama," Mal says leaning against the door frame with a smirk, "Who's car is that?"
"A friends," she replies to the two with only a brow being raised from Mal.
"Where's your car, mama?" Henry asks as he cradles his head on the crook of her neck.
As they make their way inside, she explains to him the incident and how her friend aided her in making sure she arrived to see him.
They make their way into the kitchen, as Henry asks, "What's your friends name? Do I know them?"
A clearing of the throat comes from Mal, giving Regina as knowing look, as she pours over the coffee in two cups and takes out the pancake mix.
Regina's glare goes unnoticed by Henry, who's more than occupied nestling his head on his mother's neck, running his fingers through the tresses of her hair.
"His name is… Robin."
He replies with an understanding nod, nestling himself closer to his mother's hold. Regina can't help but miss everything about him, his voice, the feel of his arms around her neck and the way he simply breathes has her never wanting to let go of him ever again. She feels peaceful, more at home in holding her son than in any other place.
They had breakfast, Henry rambling on everything and anything he had not managed to tell Regina before in the nightly facetime call the night prior. He chomped away at his pancakes, gulping down in between bites just to make sure he didn't forget to tell her the next thing.
The relief in her heart lets her relax and just be in the moment with him, forget about anything and everything and enjoy time with the love of her life.
Once breakfast had finished, Henry scampered off this his room to bring down the box of things his Aunt Mal and him had organized to show Regina. Meanwhile, as they cleaned up the kitchen, Mal got a chance to catch up with Regina on a certain friend.
"So, who's this Robin?" she asks with a smirk as she dries the dishes.
"Just a friend. He's fixed my car a couple times, he found me while I was trying to get mine started last night and offered to lend me his," she explains, focusing on the bit of pancake mix that had dried on the mixing bowl rather than look Mal in the eyes.
But Mal, being Mal, wasn't happy with that answer. So of course, she pressed on, "He offers to do all of that and he's just a friend."
"Yes, Mal. Just a friend," Regina affirms sharply, laying out the last washed bowl.
"Sure, he is," Mal counters, only to elicit, not a denial, a sheepish smile from Regina.
Well, that she did not expect, "You like this guy," she concludes but Regina shakes her head denying any accusation.
"I don't like him," she denies firmly.
Mal's brows raise instantly, no, she doesn't like him, "You're falling for this guy, aren't you?"
Regina scoffs, it's a ridiculous question to ask, of course she isn't. She barely knows Robin, barely can start putting a name to what it is exactly that she feels towards him, "I am not, Mal. We're not even dating."
"And why is that? What are you waiting for?" Mal questions.
"I'm not waiting for anything… it's just, it's me Mal, I'm damage waiting to happen," she believes, truly feels that anyone coming her way will only be cursed with destruction and darkness just like she is. "Besides, I still need to focus on myself, make sure that I am ready for Henry, to handle things again."
"Sweetie, you're ready, you have been for a long time now. You're just being too hard on yourself, it's good to have love, and from what it seems he wants to give it to you."
"I just don't think it's the right time." Regina adds on, hoping that would suffice her arguments. Mal always believed she could hold her own, that she was strong enough to take care of herself and Henry during her first-year recovery. Regina didn't think so, she had been good for four years, and in a weak moment she let the addiction back into her life. She knew relapses happened, but still, she always felt like she could have done better and that then meant that she could not be trusted.
"Well as your sponsor," Mal replies leading her into the living room, "I've seen you from the first time you came in to NA with a growing belly and those same guilt-ridden eyes. You are ready, you will be fine. You know your limits, you know yourself, I think you have to give yourself some slack and really try, Regina."
She lets out a sigh, no matter how much Mal reminded her that she was strong, that she could manage it all just fine on her own, she never believed she could. She had fears, fears of herself.
But Mal, being ever so kind and honest, reminded her often that she was more than fine, that's she'd be just fine. "I wouldn't be saying this if it wasn't right. You must trust yourself just like I trust you. Just like you trusted me with your son."
Mal was right, she'd been an addict too, had been ten years clean with one relapse and Regina had entrusted her very own son to her. Regina and Mal were very much alike, formidable, independent and headstrong, never willing to accept that they were good enough even when the world told them otherwise.
She crosses her arms, not willing to accept Mals affirmations, not when she's feels doubtful of herself. Not when there's an entire part of herself that wants, more than she's willing to admit, to be with Robin.
But a certain hazel-eyed boy came trotting back, yelping to his mama about all the paintings he had made, just like her, "Look mama look! I painted them all for you! Just like how you paint!"
"Oh, baby they're beautiful." she looks over them. He was talented, he truly was. At the age now of almost six he'd come a long way from hand painting. He'd made made several pieces all of them of Regina and him in different parts of the world both always holding hands with happy smiles. She bit back the tears, because she would not let her son see her cry, no, this was a happy occasion and she was going to make sure his son all smiles, "Let's see the rest of them, yeah?" Henry nods firmly, looking over his box paintings for Regina.
"You two go on, and spend some time together," Mal says as she stands up, "I'll go into my office and catch up on some work," she made her way into her office, leaving the two to spend the time they need together.
They both settled in together in the couch, Regina giving Henry snuggles and kisses, giggles exchanged.
"I miss you mama. A lot a lot! "Henry said as he showed her one of his final paintings.
"I missed you too my big boy, more than you know," she assures him. Her heart broke for her son, knowing the confusion he must feel for having his mother far away even if it was for the past three months, which seems like a forever to a child. Because of that was that she made sure to call him every day, she'd promised him that, promised him that no matter what, she'd always call him to tell him goodnight.
Even if she did call every day, he missed his mother, missed her and reminded her of it daily, "When can I go live with you? I miss you. Are you almost better?"
She sighed, soothing over his rosy cheeks. He was getting so big, she noticed, even if it was three months, he'd changed every time she came to visit it seemed. "I am babe, I'm almost better and you will come home with me soon, I promise you."
"Soon?!" he asks excitedly, his gleaming little smile filling his face, showing off his tiny teeth, "Cross your heart and promise?"
Chuckling, she made and X over her chest and assured him, "Cross my heart sweetie."
He gave her a hug and Regina took in the feel of his little hands around him. The smell of his smell, of her own son. His warmth and smell intoxicating her heart, making her feel whole once again.
It had been an amazing weekend. They spent all of Saturday going to the park, baking and snuggling together. Mal, merely admiring mother and son as she proudly held the third wheel title. She had been blissfully happy, had not gotten any calls at all from Daniel and she was more than relieved for that.
She had gotten a few texts from Robin - those she welcomed. He asked her if she was alright, if Henry was alright and if he missed her. He'd been attentive the days she was with Henry, and Regina sent him over a few pictures here and there of their time at the park, Henry sneaking a lick at the cookie dough spoon, and one that Mal took of the both of them snuggled together one morning.
As much as she wanted to stay, she needed to go back. She was working on getting an apartment for both her and Henry, getting some savings in while she went to school and make sure that everything was in order for the day her son came back. But she was scared, she feared that she'd relapse again, that it would be a moment of weakness and she'd do something or make a bad decision that would affect Henry negatively.
But everyone told her she would be fine, that she was ready, and she just hope to god she was.
It was Monday, she'd gotten up and got Henry ready, made him breakfast and walked him to school. Before she left him, promising that she'd see him again for Christmas and that he would move back with her soon. And he reminded her once again that he missed her a lot. She hugged him goodbye, gave him kisses all over his little face until his was giggling asking her to stop.
When she came back, Mal had prepared breakfast for the two of them. They had gone over the remaining money Regina had gotten from Henry Sr's trust fund and planned on the moving details.
"So, have you talked to your mother at all?" Mal asked as she helped Regina stow away her luggage.
"I don't think there's much to talk about. She doesn't make any attempt either so, I think there's nothing left to say." Regina replied.
Cora and Regina's relationship had always been strained. It took a rough patch when Regina had left home for college only to returned as a drop out and in drugs. Cora's sharp tongue and Regina's stubborn mind always lead to arguments with the two of them that Henry Sr, was always there to calm.
"You should talk to your mother, Regina, she seems like she's trying to make amends. She asks about you whenever she talks to Henry," Mal tells her.
"I'm not ready to deal with another demon just yet, Mal. Either way, when had Cora Mills actually cared to make amends with anyone?"
"She cares now. She's a widow, her daughter won't let her contact her. She's alone Regina."
"I was alone too and she never cared to reach out to me. Why is my turn when she never even tried?" she bit back with resentment, knowing that when Regina had needed a place to stay when she found out she was pregnant with Henry, Cora rejected her. Her father was there, though, with a place for her to start fresh and to feel safe. So, why was it her responsibility to care for Cora now? When Regina had needed it most, she turned her back on her own daughter.
"Because you want the relationship to be better, don't you?"
"No, Mal, I don't I haven't wanted a relationship with her for a long time."
She moved to start the car, Regina thanked Mal once again for taking care of Henry for being there when she couldn't and for being so accommodating to her in all of this.
"He's my godson and you're my best friend, I'm stuck with the two of you," she jests.
Before Regina can make her way on the road, Mal places her hand over her shoulder, hoping that she listens to her at least in this. "Regina, if you like that Robin, go for it."
"Mal, it's not like that." Regina replies, but Mal knows her better, has known her longer.
"Stop bullshitting me. Give yourself a chance at love. You know the signs. Stop being scared, you're the one who's holding yourself back from embracing all the good things and people live is putting in your life," she rants at her, voice fed up with Regina belittling the very good thing that's right in front of her.
"I like him, fine… a lot." she confesses, "But I-"
"Just think about it. Take a leap of faith for once."
.*.
The diner had closed early, the Christmas festival was well underway, and the entire festival planning committee had gathered for their weekly meeting.
As lights were hung along the streets, Roland walked towards Granny's, huffing and puffing in annoyance. Robin had called him, woke him up from sleeping in on a Sunday to trek through snow to give the blueprints for the booths and stage. Apparently, Leroy had not completely trusted his skill, and Robin was not going to let an amateur wood worker belittle his years of experience. So, in a prideful moment, he called Roland and told him to bring over the blueprints he'd worked on.
So, there he was, shivering in his pajamas with only a thick wool coat on him, with blueprints secured firmly under his arm.
When he turned the street to Granny's, he saw Regina's car parked out in the front of Granny's and a man he'd never seen before peeking through the windows of the car.
His father had let him know that Regina had gone out if town, and since her car didn't work he let her borrow his. He quickly had teased him for having no shame in pining over her. He was happy they were finally doing something other than stare at one another.
He cared for Regina, he really did. She was cool, always said the funniest things when she sasses rude customers. She was his friend, and there was now a strange man looking into her car, a man he had never seen talking to Regina or around town for that matter.
He called the man, as he stood shivering away. The man swaggered over, towering over Roland who'd yet to have a full growth spurt.
"Hello, little man," the man said smiling at him deviously, "is there a problem?"
"Yeah, why are you looking in Regina's car?" He questioned him defensively, furrowing his brows hoping he was intimidating him.
The man turned to look at the car and then back to Roland, "You know Regina?"
He nods, and the smile over the man grows. "I'm Daniel, an old friend of Regina, and what is your name?"
"Roland." He was cautious, he knew not to talk to strangers, was skeptical of him. There was something about him that just wasn't right.
"Well it's a pleasure to meet you, Roland," Daniel said, extending his hand out but Roland remained still, not willing to shake the man's hand.
"You still haven't answered my question, why are you looking in Regina's car?"
"Ill-mannered and defensive, of course you'd know Regina." He chuckles, "if it's so important to you, I was trying to see if she was here in town. Do you know where she is?"
"Why do you want to know?" Roland questioned, he was not willing to disclose anything, not when he devious grin he gave him unsettled him.
"You're quite protective of her, let me guess, you've got a school by crush on her?" Daniel instigates only to get a quick no from Roland, rejecting any accusations.
"She's my dad's girlfriend. So, I have a right to ask questions, to make sure she's safe."
He'd lied, Regina technically wasn't Robin's girlfriend, not yet anyway, but it came useful to him now to make sure that this Daniel man know that he couldn't hurt Regina.
"Oh, and where's this father of yours? I'd like to meet him."
"He's with Regina," Roland lied again, he wanted to make sure the man didn't come near Regina, "What do you want with her?"
"I wanted to give her these," Daniel took out of his pocket, a plastic bag filled with different colored pills, "Would you be able to give them to her?"
Roland swallowed a thick gulp, he knew what those were, their school had had an entire Anti-Drug day and he knew that all those pills could be addictive. What shocked him the most was that they were for Regina, "Regina wouldn't take those."
"Of course, she would, she has before," Daniel replied. He shook the bag in front of Roland, a devilish smirk along his lips, "So, will you hold them for her? I know she'd appreciate it."
.*.
She comes back by sunset, she'd texted him when she had gotten to the last gas station her ETA and he'd let her know that they could meet in front of Granny's dinner.
As she parked the car, there was Robin, sitting at one of the tables out in the front of the Diner, nursing a coffee waiting for her to arrive.
She walked over to the table, he was clearly wrapped up in a call, discussing the wood that still needed to be purchased for the booths that still needed to be built for the Christmas Extravaganza. Every single person in town had a designated duty, and as always, he oversaw making all the booths and stages.
He was engrossed talking about what time of wood was needed, cherry, pine, and he seemed to be in his element. She waited for a bit, just a few feet away from his table while he finished his call. After a moment, he noticed her standing the from the corner of his eyes, he let the person on the phone know that he'd call them back in a bit and hung up turning to greet her with a pleased smile.
"How did it all go?" He asked her, handing her over the extra cup of coffee he had ordered. It took her by surprise, realizing that he'd been thinking of her enough to think she'd need a coffee after the long drive.
"It all went great. He's good, happy… keeps telling me how much he misses me," she lowers her voice, and he moves closer to her, soothing away any potential sadness that present itself, "But he's safe and that's all I care about."
"That's good," he assures her, "You'll both be together soon, I'm sure."
She nods, hoping that he's right in his belief that everything will go well, because she can't quite hope for herself lately and someone hoping for her means more than she can explain. She hands him over the keys, thanking him once again for his generosity, and once again he reminds her that it was no trouble at all.
It's cold, and he's clearly been waiting more than he should, and she doesn't want to keep him longer. He's already done more than enough for her. She tells him she'll see him around and begins to walk inside the diner when he calls her name. Fuck. It's a desperate call, a call that has the pit of her stomach twirling over.
She turns, flushed cheeks and a reddened nose, waiting to hear what he as to say.
"I just, I know you're thinking you're not enough or that you're broken goods but you're not. Gods, you're brilliant… breathtaking and I quite like you… a lot. Since the moment I met you," she smiles, an understanding smile at him, because he knows she feels the same way, "So, I know you wanted to not start anything but, I'd like you to give me a chance. Give me a chance to show you that I can be different, that I'll always be there for you… in whatever way I can."
She gushes and can't help but smile. She remembers Mal, Granny, Archie, all reminding her that she can be happy, that she can be loved and that she should take a leap. She had thought it over in the car, had taken the entire car ride to think over how much of a gentleman he had been with her, how much of a friend he had been. He never asked for anything in return, never needed or demanded her to repay anything, he did it because he cared for her, he wanted her to be okay.
"You don't have to give me the answer now," he informs her, making sure she knows that she's not pressured to say yes, because he doesn't want to make her, he wants her to come at her own will. He'd planned to just not ask, not mention that fact that he liked her again, but there she had stood, glittering browns and that unexplainable connection making her want to sweep her off her feet and just show her how much she is cared for and how important she is.
"I'd like to give you an answer if that's okay."
"Oh, gods I hope it's a yes," he runs his hands through his scalp, nerves at his fingertips as he digs his hands into her pockets.
She chuckles at his childishness, she steps closer to him, wraps her arms around his neck and gives him a soft kiss, one he returns instinctively. She feels the strength of his arms around her waist, bringing her closer to him. God why does it feel so good to be around this man?
As their lips part, she looks at him, a smirk appearing on her lips at the darkened blue orbs of his, "does this answer your question?"
"If you give me another one I think it'll make it quite clear."
She chuckles as she brings her lips closer to his.
"How does Tuesday sound? Gives you some time on Monday to relax after your trip."
"Sounds perfect."
.*.
It was the perfect end to her day. She decided on the car ride back that she'd listen to her heart for once, listen to that nagging corner in her heart encouraging her to say yes to love and happiness again. She had said yes to a date with Robin, and just the thought of it had her wanting to twirl around, risking a slip in the snow.
She was giddy, happy and excited for Tuesday, which she now felt could not come sooner. That giddy mood turned sour the minute she turned into the B&B entrance. There sat Daniel, at the steps of the porch, in jittery form and clearly waiting for her.
She feels the dread from the tip of her toes, to the sharp as a knife tongue she hopes she'll manage to hold back in his presence. She breathes out an oh fuck that she hopes he doesn't hear, because as the exhale of those words, he sees her staring at the entrance of the small yard, glaring at him, brows furrowed and her resentment thick and ever so strong.
"Well, you finally show up babe, I was getting worried for a moment." He saunters over to where she stands with arms crossed, marking her territory.
"What are you doing here, Daniel?" She's more scared then curious that he's here. He only shows up when he's needs something, and it must be some form of test, some higher power testing her at this very moment because this same interaction feels all too familiar from what happened last year.
"Well when you don't answer my calls then I decided to pop in and give you a visit. Aren't you going to invite me in?" he asks, extending his hand to the B&B. A smug, confident grin is plastered on his face and it makes her boil.
How dare he come here? How dare he come after what he managed to influence her to do just the year prior? The nerve he had. She only hoped she was stronger, she hoped she had learned, grown from last year and would be able to get him to just leave.
"No, I won't be inviting you in. Now what is that you want?" she raises her finger, as she warns him, "If you are going to ask me about money, seeing your son, or a place to stay, you might as well leave now."
"You'd really prevent your son's own father from seeing him?" he asks, attempting to sound hurt but doesn't really manage a half sad face until the laughing hysterically comes - great, he's on something.
"You need to leave Daniel, I don't need any of what you've got around me." She begins walking over to the entrance, hoping that he just leaves her be.
"Oh, come on, Gina, don't be so uptight babe. Like I said, I want to see my son. Now, where is that little rascal." He slurs slightly, searching about the yard "looking" for Henry.
"Your son isn't here. I told you already, you're not seeing him until I saw so. Seeing your son is a privilege, not a tool you use to get me to give you money or whatever it is that you want from me," she bites back bitterly. She could care less if he's shocked, stunned or angry, no one, not even Henry's own father will treat him like scraps or a tool to get to her.
"You need to leave, Daniel. Go back to New York or wherever it is you've been. Leave me and my son alone," He steps closer to her, anger boiling at her rejection and she instinctively steps back, making sure to create enough space between them.
"He's my son, Regina, and you're mine. Always have been," he protests stepping closer with simmering rage at her rejection.
"Henry, is not your property," she bites firmly, "I am not yours. I haven't been for a long time now. What we had was toxic and destructive Daniel, I am not that person anymore and you will accept that. I am doing my best to change for… for myself, for my son. If you won't do the same, then I suggest you get back on whatever bus or truck you hitch hiked in on and get the hell away from us." She holds in the quake of her voice, she's firm and deliberate with her words and she's beyond proud of herself, proud that she's managed to hold her own with him. Daniel's head tilts, trying to figure out exactly who this person he'd been talking to was.
Without so much as a goodbye, he turns around and walks down the darkened sidewalk off into the night.
She breathes out a shaky cry, one that felt like she was about to drown in her own tears if she didn't let them out sooner. She slid down against the door, sobbing with a heaving chest, as cold clouded air leaves her mouth. It hurts too much, the aching break in her heart knowing that Daniel is unchanged, that he's still stuck unwilling to change even for his own son.
Her sobs come crashing down as all the emotions she's had bottled up for the last year come trailing down and she sits on the porch floor, sobbing uncontrollably. Her guilt comes to the surface, remembering that on the night where she needed to be brave she was a coward, a horrible excuse of both a mother and a daughter.
.*.
She'd looked at her closet half a million times and just had not been able to find the right thing to wear. Everything was either too revealing or not revealing at all. Too thin for the cold or too wrapped up if things got to the point where she needed to… well, take some bit of clothes off. It was nearing 6 o'clock, Robin was set to pick her up at 6:30 and walk her over to his place.
Robin had insisted he would take her out to a proper restaurant and dine her just how she deserved, but Regina convinced him against it. She preferred to stay in and have the comfort of his apartment, she preferred not to deal with the teasing remarks or looks from townspeople or having to trek through snow after dinner while they decided what to do next.
Robin did not mind one bit, he'd let her know she'd make her dinner, his special lasagna, and wine her and dine her to the fulfill extent his apartment could give her. She was excited, full fleshed nervous but excited all the same.
It was stranger, in other first dates, she merely hoped that they guy would be nice, and that the conversation would be somewhat interesting, but with Robin, she had been excited just at the fact of seeing him again, not paying mind to the little details of the date.
Her outfit, though, that was one little detail she could not ignore. She looked herself over in the mirror, Anita sitting on Regina's bed with Ruby's leaned against her mother's chest, both observing Regina fiddle with the zipper of her boots.
"I hate it," she whined looking at herself in the mirror.
"You don't hate it, Regina," Anita corrected her, "You're just nervous, Honestly, you look hot, like if we were cousins I'd totally date you."
"Yeah, Auntie, Regina, you look so pretty! Robin is going to kiss you, a lot I bet!" Ruby swooned over her aunt. Regina only hope that was the case because she loved to kiss him. Yes, loved, and she was not afraid to tell him that.
"They're going to be doing more than just kissing, Ruby," Anita smirked as Ruby's innocent need for clarification had both adult chuckling.
"Well enough chit chatting," Granny said entering Regina's room, "Your guy is here waiting for you. And let me just say, he looks good enough to eat."
Regina believed completely, that if she was just a bit younger, she'd shamelessly pine over Robin. She was relieved, because Granny was a go-getter and no way she'd let Regina go off with an easy fight.
As she made her way down the hall and into the diner, her nerves began to show, but Granny settled them as she halted her before they turned into the dining area, "I just want you to know that I love you, Regina. You're like my own daughter, you always have been. I am so proud of you… of your resilience and strength. Now, give yourself a chance at love, sweetheart. He likes you, more than he should, I think. I've known the both of you separately for so many years, and I'm just more than glad that you two have decided to get together. It's about time, girl."
She can't help but tear up, Granny quickly stopping the tears before they trail down her check, "Now, go on and meet that handsome man of yours" and it elicits an embarrassed chuckle from Regina, sheepishly turning around to meet Robin.
He looked handsome, more than she'd seen him on just a regular day at work or at Granny's. Her half nervous-excited smile brought out a sheepish one from him. She stood at the entrance to the dinner, he looked her over, an awestruck gaze at the beauty before him.
She'd decided to go with the navy corduroy mini skirt reaching her mid-thigh, with black tights and a semi-mesh black top along with a black pea coat.
"I clean up nice for band tees and jeans, huh?" she attempts to joke, but Robin can't quite hear her he's still awestruck, looking her over with a dumbfounded grin.
He manages to clear his throat, making his way to her and taking her hand to give her a tender kiss, "You're always beautiful," he assures her, and she's flushed, rosy cheeks and eyes locked on him.
And there's silence, that comfortable silence that has them both forgetting where they are and who's around but the two of them. It's broken with a clearing of the throat from Granny as she makes her way over to Robin, "Now, you listen to me Locksley. I've known you since you were a bratty teenager, I've seen you grow up and become a man. Now you're here, taking my only niece out to wine her and dine her," Robin nods brows furrowed listening to her words seriously.
"Now her father's gone," Granny continues, Regina trying to stop but only raises her hand letting her know to let her do this, "A few days before her father passed he called me. He didn't know why, but I think his soul knew his time was coming, he asked me to make sure his daughter and grandson was alright. To take her in or give her the love a parent only would know to give if she ever needed it. I promised my brother that, promised that I would take care of them both and keep them safe. Now, she is a handful I'll tell you that. She's got a thick head," Regina raised her brow, well, she was beginning to think if that was actually a warning about Regina rather than a threat to Robin to treat her right.
"But, she's got a good heart… most loving heart I've seen in all my years. She doesn't want to believe it but it's true, now it's your time to take care of that heart and her son. I won't threaten you because she can take care of herself just fine, I just wanted you to know that."
"Thank you, Granny, I'll make sure they're both taken care of, as long as she lets me," Robin raised his brow towards Regina as she stood sheepishly watching the interaction.
"We're not getting married, Granny," she attempts to jest but Granny only replies letting her know that not yet, at least.
Regina only clears her throat, glaring at Granny, "We should get going."
They make their way out the door, Granny jesting to Robin to have her back before midnight.
Before they make it out the small patio at Granny's, Regina looks back through the diner's windows, like a teenage girl, checking to see if Granny was long gone by then. The coast was clear, she wraps her arms around Robin taking him the slight bit by surprise but a welcome surprise all the same. He tucks her closer to him, resting his hand on her hip, thumbing it just under her shirt, wanting to feel the softness of her silky skin.
She gives him a small peck on his lips, and he returns it was a heated lock, biting at her lower lip for good measure.
"I take it you missed me," he teases her. She rolls her eyes, not willing to tell him that yes, she had missed him, a lot.
"Perhaps, I did miss you," she attempted to hold down the blissful smile that pulled at her lips.
"Perhaps?" he teased. He'd pressed her closer to her, chest and pelvis feeling his toned body, "Well I did miss you, quite a lot as a matter of fact."
He locks his lips on hers, nibbling at the lower lip that he was beginning to realize was a favorite of his. He laces his hand in hers, and he pulls her to walk down the lighted street.
The town is quiet, everyone gone home after working on the festival decorations. Only the two of them, with laced hands walking among the sparkling lights and Christmas music playing far off in the distance.
Once they arrived at Robin's apartment, she was greeted with a dimly lit room, a beautiful floral arrangement at his dining table along with two glasses filled with red wine.
"Robin, this is so beautiful," she breathed looking over every detail he made sure would be perfect. She stood at the edge of the table, looking over the beautiful white and pink roses with speckled baby's breath. He stood behind her, giving her a peck at the nape of her neck as he massaged over her shoulders, whispering to her that he hoped she liked it all.
She turns, kissing him tenderly assuring to him that she loved every bit of it.
They seated and poured over the wine. He served her the lasagna, noting to her that he hopes she liked it, all the while exchanging smirks and speaking in whispers. The apartment was toasty, and she was thankful for that, but she was most thankful for the fact that she was comfortable, blissfully happy and smitten beyond belief.
That talked about Henry, Roland, their plans for the next year, it all seemed so domestic, so natural and it was a feeling she wanted to feel more of with him.
She'd asked him how the progress on the school play and once they had finished with dinner, he had walked her down to the back of his shop, where the work in progress laid.
"I'm about done, just need some help with the painting." Robin told her as she looked over the unfinished snows cape. Her core trembled, remembering the last time she was here, and the events that had transpired that left her more with a wanting need between her thighs.
She swallows thick, looking over to him as he looked over her standing form with lustful wanting eyes. She'd seen those eyes throughout the night, noticed him looking over her breasts watching as they rose and fell with her breathing. She'd been wet, for some time now, her core throbbing but she wanted to take it slow, to spend more time just simply being together but at this moment, when she felt the pebbling of her nipples and tingling sensation over her skin, her body nervously wanting his lips to touch every crevasse, bite every wanting nipple and kiss and suck every bit of her wet folds.
It happens instantly, both crashing their lips together, biting and grabbing roughly at one another. It's intense, earth shattering intense and hurried that they feel they'll just explode from a hot kiss.
But it's just kissing, and god even kissing is getting her wet, but she wants more. She begs him for it, begs him to take her to his bed and without a moment's hesitation, he hoists his arms under her ass as she continues to kiss him roughly, seeking his tongue, biting his lip. They barely make it into the foyer when he leans against her hoisted form, legs wrapped around his waist against the wall, and he quickly takes off her shirt and feels the rough grinding of her wanting need between her legs against his stiff member, wanting to take her at any moment. But he wants to savor her, savor this moment of low pleading moans, lavender scented soft skin reacting to his ever caress and touch. He sets her on the stairs, lips unlocked only to manage a few breaths of air.
Shirts off, she continues to kiss and grind against him, strong form keeping her level between him and the wall. She locks eyes with him as he begins to undo her bra, a simple red bra that looks utterly sexy on her, but he prefers it off, so he can feast his eyes on her bare chest, pebbled nipples wanting his attention. He gladly gives it to her, thumbing over them, getting to know their aroused form, and all she does is moan an erotic response with eyes locked on his.
She won't take his eyes off him and he doesn't either, this is them, finally, after all this time. His eyes move to her breasts, wanting, and he looks back at her, her breath heavy and chest rising and falling.
"You're so sexy," he whispers running his thumb again against her.
"Show me," she breathes out, and at her demand he does so. Sucking at her plump needing breast, he removes her from the wall, holding her tight against him. As they kiss once again and takes her to his room, manages to close the door with his foot as she giggles away in the dimly lit room. They wake up that the next morning in one another's arms, under warm blankets and the feel of one another's skin.
.*.
She wasn't sure what it was, maybe the Christmas spirit making people giddy and loving, or the fact that Robin spent most of his days with her now was making her look forward to feeling more excited about waking up in the morning.
She didn't care what it was, she was more than appreciative of the sudden change in herself. She couldn't deny that a big part of it was due to Robin. The change in their routines was drastic, if they weren't working, they were together. Either in Robin's apartment having uninterrupted sex when they could, cuddling up in his couch watching the Christmas marathons or sitting at Granny's until the late hours of the night laughing away at whatever they talked about.
They spent more time together than they had expected, and they didn't mind at all. The connection had become something they could not control. In the last couple of days, they'd become in sync it seemed. He'd noticed things about her, slight changes in behavior when she had a bad day at work or when she felt just not that up to doing anything after hanging up her call with Henry.
Henry was another thing he noticed. Well, her behavior about Henry at least. She never mentioned anything to Henry about Robin, if she facetimed him before bed and she was at Robin's place, she'd make sure to go into another room or walk outside into the snow. She'd been very private about him, and he was just fine with it. It was difficult for Regina to reveal herself completely to him, so he wasn't surprised when she would not get bring him into that part of her heart yet, her son.
He always checked in with her after her call, and the responses were always different, some days she returned with a wide grin, happy and chatty about how Henry was and what they talked about, other nights she'd say nothing, respond with short quick words and get on to the next thing. Robin wanted to let her understand that he was more than willing to be someone for her to lean on and trust, but it seemed that she wasn't quite there yet, she was slowly making her way down that path, and he was going to be as patient as possible.
It was the middle of December, the planning committee for the festival had been meeting practically every day to prepare. Leroy always at everyone's throats, putting setbacks and making the work more complicated than it had to be. The meetings ended up needing to be done during open diner hours due to the proximity of the of the event. It didn't work well for Robin, he'd been watching Regina work the entire time rather than pay attention to the issues or changes being made.
She'd sent him texts, texts naughty enough to get him kicked out of the committee meeting for watching literary porn. They'd end up in her apartment, Regina holding herself up against the wall trying to hold down a moan as Robin sucked at her nipples and took her, making her inner walls writhe making her come in his arms.
They were happy, blissfully happy and their connection stronger by the day. It was crazy to both, they'd talked about it one morning as they lay both in bed, welcoming the soft comfort of their skin melting together in one another's arms. She'd asked him if he'd ever felt something like the connection they had, if he ever felt like even the simple touch of their hand made them feel like they were one.
.*.
Roland's school play had been a complete success. The backdrops for all the scenes had been painted beautifully. Regina had made time to go over to Robin's shop and help him to paint over many of the sets as he was packed with work for the Christmas Extravaganza and fulfilling all his work orders for the holidays. They'd been spending time together every day, chatting, kissing and enjoying one another's company.
Marion, John, Robin and Regina all sat together, watching Roland act away on the stage. She felt completely blissful, leaning against Robin as they sat watching the play. He'd kiss her laced hand from time to time, then kissed her cheek casually settling her move again him, as well as if it was a habit they had been doing for years.
After the play, they all walked down to Lady's Italian Restaurant, to celebrate Roland's great job. It was a great night, in great company with people she cared for.
Marion and John planned to go out of town for the weekend, so they had left right after dinner and Robin, Regina and Roland left right after dessert.
They headed back to Robin's apartment, where the night would continue with a movie marathon that would last well into the next morning. The joy was short lived as they made it back to the shop, Daniel stood leaning against a pole, waiting for her.
"Shit," Regina mumbled, she leaned closer to Robin who'd had his arm pulling her closer to him as they walked towards him.
"Who's that?" Robin asked, his brows furrowed confused at her reaction.
"That's… Daniel," clearing her throat she explained to Robin, that he had appeared the night she came back from seeing Henry and she had hoped that he had gone by now, but unfortunately, she was unsuccessful in making him leave town.
She saw it, the protective rage in his eyes as she remembered telling Robin of her history with him, the destructive history that lead her to relapsing the year before. Without a second guess, Robin looked to Roland, telling him to go straight into the shop and wait inside. Roland did as he was told. She found it strange, as Roland made his way into the shop, not willing to look at Daniel, "Good night, little man," Daniel told Roland, Roland never responding as he made his way into the shop.
"Daniel," Regina called to him, hoping that whatever he had to say was the last she had to hear from him.
"Regina, babe, I've been trying to get ahold of you," Daniel said as he shamelessly leaned in to greet her with a kiss on the cheek, which she quickly deflects with her hand.
"What are you doing here, Daniel?" she asked. She was growing tired of him being wherever he was clearly not wanted.
"Well aren't you going to present me?" he asked, looking like he really was enjoying the tense interaction.
"Daniel, this is Robin… my, um. Boyfriend." she voices thick with annoyance at the gull he had. God, she wanted to just run off, "And Robin, this is Daniel, Henry's father."
"Yes, Henry's father. She told you about our son, right?" Daniel asked Robin with a smug grin, "Looks just like the both of us."
Robin bites his tongue, Regina can feel in the way he holds on to her closer to him. He's holding as much as he can of him boiling rage back for sake of Roland and Regina. She knows it, feels the pressure of his hold on her waist that he's holding himself back from hitting him or biting back at him.
"What do you want Daniel?" she wants to cut to the chase, doesn't need any underhanded remarks from him, she wants this night to go back to be a happy one and she won't let Daniel ruin it.
"Just came to say goodbye and maybe if I can have a word with you."
"Absolutely not," Robin bites at him, holding Regina as tight as humanly possible making sure to keep her safe.
She places her hand on his chest, turns to cup his cheek leaving a tender kiss on his lips. "Trust me, okay? I'll be fine."
He's not convinced, not when there's this person where that has been a part of times in her life that have brought her destruction and pain. "Regina, I don't think that's a good idea love.
Cups his cheek and thumbs his stubble, kisses him softly once again, sealing her lips with his, "Give me a moment, okay?"
He nods, hesitantly, but he listens to her. He gives her a kiss on her knuckles, reminding her that he will be close by. He stands inside the shop, arms crossed as he looks through the glass window of the shop.
"Your man seems to be a bit jealous." Daniel chuckles, and Regina rolls her eyes, not wanting to deal with him and whatever sadistic plan he had.
"I asked you to leave, Daniel, why haven't you left?"
"I was hoping I'd see my son or that you'd realize that man wasn't worth your while. It seems he's stuck on you."
"You will not see my son until you prove yourself," she warns him, "The last time I let you do that… you made me weak. I won't let you do that to me again."
He rolls his eyes, scoffing at her accusations, "Stop being so dramatic, Regina. You made the decision to come with me last year, I didn't force you."
"I know that, but you know better, you knew I was in a bad place and you just took advantage of that. Took advantage of my pain."
The scoffs he responds with breaks her heart, she cared for Daniel really did but it seemed that it was more than just the drugs that were his problem. She had learned a lot from NA and her weekly therapy sessions, but the one thing that had always stayed was her was the fact that she could not control other actions or take away others.
"I'm not going to go back with you if that's why your here," she began, she promised herself that this was her last time, last warning to him and she hoped he listened, "If you ever do, truly want to be a part of my sons life then you come back when you are clean, when you are worthy of him."
He doesn't reply, he remains leaned against the streetlight, he looks to Robin who stands there ready to defend her, "You'll come back, Regina. You always do." with that he walks away, down the street and into the darkness.
She breathes out in relief, although she cares for Daniel, she knows that he needs to get right, and she's proud, proud that she was able to hold her ground.
Robin comes out, asking her reassuringly if everything is okay and she can't help but wrap his arms around his neck taking in the warmth he always gives her, feeling finally at home with him.
.*.
"It's so warm in here," Regina comments, looking about the room.
"I left the heat on, had thought you would be craving something hot after the days play, and wanted to make sure it was warm for you," he explains almost embarrassingly. She can't help but respond with flushed cheeks, the blush that had been fading from the outside cold now in full display because of him.
"That's very sweet of you," she replies, both eyes unwavering of one another's gaze, only to be broke by a very loud blegh by none other than Roland.
"You two are making me feel like I ate too many candy apples," Roland remarks as he makes his way over to the couch, leaving Robin and Regina to themselves.
"He's too funny." Regina chuckles, wrapping her arms over herself at a sudden chill.
"You alright babe," Robin asks, cupping her cheeks tenderly, bringing her closer to him as his other hand wraps around her waist.
Her eyes close and she pauses for a minute, feels his calloused hands holding her, reminding her that she can lean on him and it just make her feel, for one at peace with herself.
She hums finally, and nods with eyes closed, "just chilly. It's been a long day."
"I'll put the kettle on then. I've still got some more of that apple cinnamon tea you like so much."
"Mm, that would be nice, yes."
"Alright then," he gives her a quick peck, "you go on into the living room and I'll bring it in."
He's about to march into the kitchen when she grabs onto his hand, brings him to face her. He quickly notices that she seems apprehensive about something, "what's wrong babe?"
"I, uh, I know we had planned to sleepover but, I just, Roland's staying tonight." His brows furrow, clearly, he's not getting the point.
"Shouldn't we um, just plan for another night for a sleepover. I just don't want things to be weird is all."
"Don't worry about that, love. I've already discussed that with him, well Marian and I did. When she started dating John, we let him know that it's bound to happen. He mainly squirmed the entire time, but he got the gist of it" he chuckled.
"So, are you sure it's alright? I just, I don't want him to think I'm overstepping or taking over."
"He'll think nothing if the sort," he assures her taking hold of her hand, "if anything I think he'll find it weird if you don't. And the kid quite likes you, if you haven't noticed. I think he likes you more than his own parents," he chuckles.
"That can't be true." Regina replies
"I think it is, and I don't blame him. I quite like you too. A lot."
"A lot?" she asks coyly, with a devilish smile.
"Very much so, especially when you let me have my way with you." He hums as he tenderly kisses just beneath the space where her jaw and earlobe meet.
She merely responds with a low moan and cranes of her neck to give him better access, "is that the only reason?"
He shakes his head and mumbles a low no, moving slowly to kiss her temple and the arch of her brow, "I like you, your intelligence, strength, your love for others, for your son. Your resilience. Your beauty," he hums kissing her lips.
"God the way you laugh drives me mad."
And he laughs, he doesn't know if it's intentionally or because of what he said but he doesn't mind, he loves to hear her laugh, more than she knows.
He kisses her again, a kiss that lasts just a bit longer, a sweet kiss that gives her that tingling feeling in her stomach as he wraps his arms tighter around her waist, her arms wrapping then around his neck. It's a slow kiss, one that feels so domestic and so them, as if they'll be kissing this way whenever they welcome each other home after a long day, and Regina can't help but just feel hopeful to the fact that she's got this man that just makes her feel like anything if possible, and that she is possible.
And Robin being, well, Robin, he can't help but slide his hand just a tad bit lower and squeeze her full ass, as a smile coming from Regina's lips breaks their lock.
"Your son is in the other room, mister," she reprimands.
"I'll kick him out, just for a few hours," he hums as he pulls her closer and his locks his lips again with hers.
She chuckles, half believes he's consider doing that, possibly even sending him over to Marians but she knows Robin and knows that even in the heat of it all, he wouldn't put anything over his son. Not even Regina, and she's thankful for that. She is because she knows that if anything came to it, he would understand that she'd choose her son over him in a heartbeat.
But she's willing to joke about the crazy things they'd do just to be able to get a few minutes in bed.
As their lips part, she can't help but give his lips a bit of a tug with her teeth, "I'll put the kettle in then. You go on and settle in the couch with Roland, yeah?"
She nods in return, feeling blissfully smitten with all the things right in the world.
She found Roland stretched out on the three-seater couch, with a blanket wrapped up over him as he clicked away at the channels.
"So, you're staying tonight?" Roland turns to look at Regina, who sat at the two-seater couch perpendicular to him.
"If that's alright with you." she hopes it is alright, because she doesn't want him to feel uncomfortable with anything.
"It is as long as you make pumpkin pancakes for us." Roland replies with a hopeful smile plastered on his face.
She chuckles, this boy loved those pumpkin pancakes, "You do know that I don't make those right? I only serve them."
Roland shrugs, snuggling himself into his blanket, "It was worth a try."
"So, what are you watching?" Regina asks him as she slips out of her boots, bringing her legs close to her as she wraps herself in the throw blanket.
"The Grinch, it's my favorite."
"Yes, it's a bit of an obsession he had since the age of five." Robin says as he brings over the tea tray, "Demanded a new onesie pajama of it every Christmas up until last years."
He hands Robin his hot chocolate as he pours over Regina's tea, sitting himself close to her as she lays her head against his chest, covering both with the thick blanket. Taking a sip of her tea, setting it on the counter as she wraps her arms around Robin, cuddling herself into his embrace as he brings her closer to him. He's warm, muscled and warm as he settles his hand at the curve of her waist then sliding under her shirt massaging her skin, only a touch she can take in.
All the while they laugh at Roland's constant denials of his childhood embarrassments. Regina loving the interaction between Robin and Roland bickering away with one another. She settles her heart into the room, into their sense of family. All that's missing is Henry, and she's hopeful, for once she's hopeful instead of heartbroken at the thought of her son not being with her. She knows that it can be possible, her as she sits away with two people she cares for more than she ever thought she could, she knows that this happiness can be possible for her.
"He wrote about ten Christmas letters to Santa, reminding I'm of the pajama pants," Robin continues, all the while Roland groans in embarrassment, "One year, when we hadn't managed to find the green pajamas, he painted himself all green, buck naked running wild, he went around the house, and town retelling the movie, a total one man show. And I've got the pictures to prove it!"
Robin quickly stands, making his way to find the embarrassing pictures so show Regina all the while Roland begging him to not do it.
Robin quickly went up to look through the family albums for the pictures of Roland.
He was happy truly blissful to feel that sense of comfort and family with the three of them, although I had only been a few days since they'd embrace the feelings they had for one another, how much of a family.
He looked through the family album, only to find out that Roland had taken away it seemed. He hollered out to Roland asking him where they were, and Roland merely replied it with a holler that he would not find them that he had hit them well.
Robin chuckled, knowing full well that his son was not great hide things very well. He stood at the doorframe of Roland's room, he could not help but reminisce at the fact that his young men's room once filled of dinosaurs and Tonka trucks had changed to books, arts and crafts, music, art college flags. He was becoming a young man young man that he was very much proud of. He was grateful as well. As a father, what more could he ask from than for his son to be a loving respectful, kind, and hard-working.
He managed to find all of Roland's hiding places by the age of ten. And he didn't understand how even when Roland was caught red handed, his hiding places remained the same.
He looked through the closet, behind his pillow and under the mattress and had found nothing. He investigated the last place Roland's sock drawer. He'd gone to the extent of aiding Roland in finding new hiding places at one point, telling his son that he needed to work on sneaking things around jokingly, but Roland never really listened. It worked to Robin's favor this time, as he quickly found the picture in the sock drawer, also, something else, something that made him drop in a ball of rage, losing his breath as he found a bag with pills in his sons sock drawer.
He was furious utterly furious but more than that fearful for Roland, a million questions rammed to his head, wanting to get them all answered. Who had given him this? Why did he take it?
He marched down, bulldozing past the hall and into the living room, barking at the top of his lungs, "What the fuck is this Roland?!"
Regina and Roland, both fear stricken got up from their relaxed forms as Robin's voice thundered through the apartment. He was fear stricken, scrambling to remove the blanket as he stood trembling in standing position as he looked over to his infuriated father.
"What, what, where did you find them?" He stutters, chattering teeth unable to form a coherent sentence.
"So, it didn't magically appear? You hid them there?!"
"No, no, no, I-I was going to throw it away."
"What the fuck do you mean you were going to throw them away, why the hell did you have them in the fucking first place?!"
Regina stood there, watching the raging yells coming from Robin, she couldn't believe it. Roland would never do anything like that, he was a smart boy, and she saw it, the truth in his eyes. She didn't know how she knew, she just looked at his eyes, innocent and pleading his father that not yell.
She knows it won't work to yell at Roland, won't help the matter to scold Roland when Robin needs to find out who exactly gave them to him and make him understand the dangers of them.
"R-Robin, I don't think it's a good idea to yell at Roland, maybe-"
"Regina, while I appreciate it, back off, please! I don't think it's your place," Robin interjects with a snarled.
Robin turns to Roland, the young boy possibly watching his life pass before his eyes at the sound of his father's growl, "Tell me where you got this, Roland. Who gave it to you?"
And Roland sweet and confident turns into a shell of a little boy fear stricken to stuttering away not being able to form any audible work they gave it to his father, "I was j-just holding it for someone."
"Holding it for who?!"
He doesn't answer, his eyes dart to Regina and quickly moved away not wanting to confess to his father the truth. But Robin is no fool, he sees the connection and turns to Regina, with the look of betrayal in his eyes, "Did you give this to my son?"
"What?" She's confused, her heart racing and confused at his question.
"He looked at you and wouldn't answer," Robin clarified nose flaring in anger, "I am asking if you gave this to my son."
"I would never do that." her voice low, cracking in her throat, hands trembling.
She turns to look of to Roland, "Roland, I never gave you that, I would never give you something like that?"
"He… he said that it was for you, that I could hold it for you. But I didn't want to, I was going to throw them away." his breath stuttered as tears fell down his cheeks, sobbing to his father not to get mad at Regina.
"Who gave that to you Roland?" Regina asks him, hoping to dear life it's not who she thinks it is.
"D-Daniel." his confession as her shoulders sagging, glazed eyes unable to see clearly. She turns to Robin, looking at her with nothing but disgust.
She never thought he'd ever look at her this way, with distrust and hatred spewing from his loving blue eyes. "You did this to my son. You and that bastard!"
"Robin, I did not do this, I didn't know. I would never!" She cries out, tears rushing down her cheeks, broken heart beating erratic, "I did not invite Daniel and I that is not my fault, neither is it Roland's. It's Daniel!"
He stands in from of her, nose to nose, snarling at her with clenched teeth, "These are you bloody people, your fucking issues that caused this. You are responsible."
Her body quivers, swallowing the venom that spewed out of Robin's mouth, "I thought you were different, I thought… I don't know what I thought."
Her hands trembling, as she puts on her shoes, Roland begging his father not to be mad at Regina for anything, as he sobbed away.
With her heart breaking as she listened to Robin send Roland to his room and Roland yelling back at Robin defending Regina at every turn, she whispered to him, not willing to look him in the eyes, "I think it's best I go."
She runs out the door, and out the shop, headed home when through the cold night. She's sobbing away as her heart heaves him pain. It seems he comes to his senses moments later because he hears him call her name r, apologizing and begging her not to go, explaining that he was angry and didn't mean it.
"Fuck you, Robin!" She yells at him, pushing him away and then trying to stop the falling tears, but they keep coming keep coming and she give up trying to stop them.
"Please babe, I'm sorry I was angry, I don't think it's your fault, I just angry at him for doing this for getting in between." She doesn't hear him, only keeps remembering the way he looked at her… with hate in his eyes, all love, all tenderness gone.
"I don't want to be with someone who doesn't believe me. Who doubts me because I've worked so hard to be where I am," she explains, looking at him as the painful pressure in hear her heart makes her want to crawl away forget that he ever looked at her with that disgust. She had thought it would be different, that with Robin it would be different, but it wasn't. He didn't bat an eye before he accused her, with rage boiling in his words to her.
"I… It was my son Regina, you have to understand, please." She does, god she understands more than he knows but still, the fact is that he doubted her, doubted her and it won't make the pain go away. She wanted to trust him, she really did want to trust him completely but the pain in her heart, the quickly growing fury surfacing to her heart.
"Like you said, my fucking issues are what caused this… so, were done." she replies, and his eyes glaze, heart quaking as she turns away from him, walking into the Christmas lights and away from him.
.*.
They had not spoken after that night. Granny and Anita had heard her coming in sobbing, trying to get her to explain what had happened only to get the door closed shut on their faces.
The next few days were completely tense, so tense that everyone at the committee meeting could tell the tension between Robin and Regina. He'd kept his eyes on her the entire time, not paying attention to the questions from Leroy over the unfinished booths.
The very next day he had tried to talk to her, had gone straight to the Granny's begging her to talk to him. All she did was reject his every plea and remind him that she did not want to discuss anything further with him. He had wanted to press, wanted to beg her to understand but he knew he couldn't push her. He'd wait, wait until she was ready to talk again.
He promised her though, one morning while she was sitting at Granny's working on the the booth arrangements for the festival, he promised her that he'd keep trying, that he was going to get her to listen to him and get her back, no matter how much time she needed.
"You'll be waiting forever, then," she bites back at him. She was hurt, he couldn't blame her for not feeling otherwise. She believed that he didn't trust her, that he didn't believe in her and he knew that it was devasting for her. After he had showed her how much he cared for her, after she had opened herself for the opportunity of love only o be reminded of her sins at the first sign of a problem.
So, he'd wait, patiently, trying to remind her whenever he could that - whenever she allowed him
- that he was sorry, that he believed in her and that she meant more to him.
.*.
Today was the day, Henry and Mal were coming for the Christmas day Extravaganza and spending all of Christmas with her.
As Mal parked her car in front of the diner, all the patrons watched as the tiny little boy ran out of the car, wrapping her arms and legs around Regina, puckering her with kisses.
She made her way into the diner, Mal right behind her as they all settled in a small booth where chocolate chip pancakes awaited the happy boy.
"Mama, this is where you work?" Henry asked as he gobbled the pancake. He sat on her mother's lap, as she played with his brown silky brown hair.
"Yes, honey, I own this place with Aunt Alice."
"You mean Granny, mommy, that's what the sign says," Henry replied as Regina chuckling agreeing with Henry.
As Mal and Henry ate away at their meals, the bell dinged, bringing in the Christmas Extravaganza cavalry singing away Christmas carols for all the shops. They all sang away, as did Henry to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. She was full of joy and bliss, to see her baby boy singing along happily.
After some intense days, she was glad to have one of the only people in the world that made her truly happy.
From behind the crowd, Robin made his way in with Roland in tow.
She missed him, inexplicably so she missed him, but her anger and pain were still present in her heart. The song muffled around her as he met eyes with her, she only felt the wrapping of Henry's arms around her neck as he sang away with the carolers. He greeted her from a distance, with a nod, just like the one he'd give her whenever he passed by his shop and in habit she responded with a smile, and a small wave. He sat at the booths, trying as best he could to keep his eyes from veering to hers, and instead watching the carolers sing away as they celebrated the start of the Christmas Extravaganza Festival.
His eyes would shift to her from time to time, trying as best he could to not see how much of a great other she was, of how loving and tender she was with her son.
"She looks great as a mom, doesn't she?" Roland asks Robin as he takes a bite of his pancakes.
"What?"
"Regina, she looks amazing as a mom. Doesn't she?" Roland clarifies once again, only receiving a yeah from his father.
"Have you tried talking to her dad?" Roland asked. After Roland had gone over to Regina's the a couple of days later after the night to apologize and explain to her what had happened with Daniel. Roland had tried to convince Regina to take Robin back, to give him another chance. Regina had reminded Roland that nothing that had happened was his fault, and although she appreciated him trying to protect her, that his safety was more important to her. Roland was relieved that Regina was not mad at him. He had tried, every day after that, to remind her that Robin was waiting for her whenever she was ready.
"She doesn't want to talk anymore," Robin mumbled, "In any event, that is adult business. You worry about getting into track and field next semester. Got that?"
Roland smirked, not listening to his father as he slid down the high chair and walked over to Regina.
"Regina, this is your son?"
"Roland, yes, this is Henry." Regina moved Henry to sit on her lap, telling Henry to shake Roland's hand.
"Hey, Henry," Roland said as he knelt to his level, "Do you like candy apples?"
"Yes!" Henry cheered.
"Well how would you like to hang out with my dad and I tomorrow, we can go get candy apples at the Christmas festival and ice skating."
Henry turned to Regina, begging her to let them go. Regina looked at Roland, he was plotting something, and the smug grin gave him away. Regina couldn't help but admire the persistence the boy had, she looked over to Robin who seemed to be trying to figure out what exactly was going on. She wanted to say no, but the excited please of her son to eat candied apples with Roland could not be ignored. She missed Robin, missed being around him and even the betrayal she had felt never overpowered the affection she held for him. It was that feeling again, that bond, a tether that she felt had grown stronger with the passing days she'd spent with him. It was that tether that had her listening to her heart rather than her sadness.
So, she obliged, told both boys yes and they cheered, excited to spend the day tomorrow eating candy apples and ice skating.
Roland returned to his father, patting his shoulder, "You've got a date tomorrow dad. You can thank me later."
He looked back to Regina, who had a knowing sheepish smile, it had felt like ages since the last time she had given him any semblance of a smile. He was hopeful she'd come around at some point, he only wished it was soon.
.*.
The Christmas Extravaganza was the most amazing thing Henry Mills had ever seen. The twinkling lights, Santa elves walking about handing candy canes, the most delicious hot chocolate with marshmallows and cinnamon, the coolest and biggest ice skating rink he had ever seen, people everywhere playing games and singing Christmas songs. Of everything in the festival, the best thing was that his mommy was with him. She was the most amazing and prettiest mommy, and she was all his.
He had met Roland, he was big, super tall and the coolest friend he had ever had. He was his new best friend and they loved eating candy apples together. He had also met Mr. Robin, he was Roland's daddy and he was just the coolest - if Roland said so, then he was the coolest. He liked that Mr. Robin did magic tricks, made his mommy laugh throughout the day, and had bought everyone the most delicious hot chocolate. He was an awesome dad to Roland, he liked the way Mr. Robin was with Roland, he hugged him and made him laugh, all the things an awesome Dad did.
It had been the best day, spend with the people he loved, his mommy, his favorite Auntie Mal and Roland and Mr. Robin.
.*.
Regina had not realized how they day had turned from tense and awkward, to giggles and the most fun she had in years.
Mal had chosen to stay in for the day, relax and catch up with Granny and Anita while Regina spend time with Henry. She was grateful for Mal, more than she could explain for taking on such a huge task of taking care of Henry. She reminded her daily how grateful she was, and made sure that whenever she had Henry, Mal would not raise a finger. She knew how difficult it was to take care of a child and Mal had taken up the task for Regina without a complaint.
When Robin and Roland met Regina and Henry that morning, it was tense to start off, only Roland and Henry chatting and chatting - even with the age gap - they seemed to have a lot of things to be enthusiastic about. She wasn't stupid, she knew that Roland was planning to keep Henry occupied just so that she could be forced to interact with him in some way or another.
She now sat at a bench, holding the hot chocolate Robin had bought for the four of them, shoulder to shoulder to Robin in silence, watching their sons skate in the rink. They had barely spoken a word, but she didn't need to for Robin to know that there was something still there. She'd been laughing all day, at Robin's jokes, at his magic tricks with Henry that fascinated him so much. She knew Robin loved to hear her laugh, and it she had been laughing all day, she had a great day all because of him.
It was nearing the end of the festival; some families had gone home for the day as the booths started closing. All that was left were some of the vendors that still had food left and some of the activities. The sun began to set, dimming the sky with only the hanging lights around the streets to give light.
The live band had begun to play mellow music, as the night went on and people began to slow dance along the streets. Regain had Henry wrapped around her hip, his little legs tired from the entire day of running around playing in the snow and skating.
"Mama, look, their dancing like you and grandpa danced," Henry whispered in Regina's ear, "Mama, go dance. I want to see you dance like with Papa Henry."
Her heart cracked at the mention of her father, at the time he would go visit her, and he'd have her waltz with her all for her son's enjoyment.
"I've got no one to dance with, baby."
"Mr. Robin, can dance with you, mama. Right Mr. Robin?" Henry asked turning to look at him.
"Yeah," Roland quickly cut it, "You can dance with Regina, Dad, I'll sit with Henry here on the bench."
It all happened without a thought, Roland pushing them off to the dancing area as he took Henry off Regina's arms. They stood there, at the center of the dance floor among the other couples who were dancing to Elvis's Presley's Can't Help Falling in Love with You.
He looked at her hesitant gaze, mustered all the courage he could and extended his hand out, "May I have this dance, milady?"
She looked at his hand, then back up at his eyes, a shy smile fell on her lips, and he saw it, she wanted to dance with him. She took his hand after a moment, feeling his skin once again after what felt like years of separation, the tantalizing callus hands laced in her soft thin hand, "Just don't step on me."
Great, she was back to teasing, that's a good sign.
She smoothed her free hand over his shoulder, as he gingerly placed his on her hip as they began to slowly move to the rhythm. He felt her body shiver in his touch, felt her body meld perfectly as he danced with her.
"Have you enjoyed your day, love?" Robin managed to ask her, her eyes locked on him, the thick tension pulling them together.
"Yes," she whispers to him, "I'm glad Henry has had a great time. It seems Roland is his new best friend."
"It's been a good day for him. He's beautiful Regina, really, a beautiful boy."
"Thank you, I just hope I do things right for him…" she pauses not realizing that she began to open to him, even when they were separated, it was still instinct, to open to him about her worries and hopes.
"You're doing great," he replies, as he continues to sway her to the rhythm.
"Thank you," she replied shyly.
He wanted to say more, say something else to her but he was at a loss for words, he didn't want to drive her away, but wanted to make sure she felt comfortable, so he chose against.
Once they had finished doing a last run through of the of the remaining booths, Roland and Robin walked Regina and Henry to Granny's. Henry had fallen asleep once they had finished dancing and Robin had offered to carry him on the way to the diner. He carried her son with such care, it made her heart swell to see Robin soothe over Henry as he was beginning to wake up, shushing him back to sleep. She couldn't help but love the way he treated her son, making him laugh, caring after him. She remembered with the tenderness he cared of her, she missed him, but the she couldn't move herself to tell him that.
.*.
Christmas day came with snow and hot chocolate in the morning. Henry and Ruby woke everyone up cheering that Christmas had arrived and so had presents.
"Mama, mama! Look! Santa left presents!" He squealed at the huge Christmas tree, decorated with lights and ornaments galore. All the adults sat around the the couches that encircled the Christmas tree, all watching as both kids opened the gifts with excitement.
Ruby received new coats and a little Red Riding Hood costume that she had been wanted for a few months now. Henry had received a new set of Thomas and Friends pajamas addition to coloring books galore, so he could be just like his Mama.
Everyone had opened their gifts, reciting new clothes and little gadgets to use for the new year. There were two gift lefts with cards attached to them.
"Who's are those two?" Ruby questioned.
"Those are for your Aunt Regina and Henry." Granny explained, "They're from Roland and Robin."
Her gut dropped, she never thought Robin or Roland would do something like that, but it didn't surprise her, that was who Robin was and who Roland had been raised to be.
"Mama, Roland and Mr. Robin got us presents!" Henry cheered as he teared the wrapper of his gift. He yelped in excited at the wooden train that Robin had made for him, what he loved most of all was that it had his name carved in the side of the train. The pure joy her baby boy had over his gift was more than she could ask for on Christmas morning.
She knelt at the box in front of her. It was large, wrapped in gold paper with a note on top. Her nerves were killing her, hands clammed as she opened the letter.
Regina,
These gifts were planned well in advance of our unfortunate break up. I decided to give them to you and your son either way because you two are special to us - more than you know. I want to wish you and your son a beautiful Christmas filled with all those you love.
Remember, you will always have me, in whatever way you need, I will always be here for you. This is a small token of my affection for you, I hope you find them to bring you the peace you look for in times of stress. Your talent deserves to be flourished, even if you think you don't have it.
All our love,
Robin and Roland. X
She took a moment to compose herself, not wanting to let the dreaded tears fall at the kind man he continued to be, despite his transgression.
She teared open the gift revealing a wooden box etched with her name at the top. Around her name, were painted red roses circling it.
She took a moment to admire his work, intricately painted, he had taken his time. She opened it, and inside the box laid an entire art set raining from beautiful carved brushes, oil pastels, an easel, drawing pads and anything and everything an artist would need.
She could not muster enough strength to hold back her tears, that man had made an entire art set, bought the best acrylic paint, sketching pencils he could find and had modified them all with hand name inscribing of her name along with beautiful flowers and decorations.
"If you don't see how much that man loves you, girl, you're blind," Granny told her.
.*.
It was nearing the middle of the day and Christmas day had gone more than perfect for little Henry Mills. He had gotten chocolate chip pancakes and opened presents with his mommy. It was a perfect day spent with his most favorite superwoman, his mommy, and it was unfortunately coming to an end.
"B-b-ut I want to stay with you mommy, please I want to stay with you," Henry sobbed against the crook of Regina's neck. His mood had turned sour the moment he saw his Aunt Mal starting to pack her clothes and stow them away in the trunk of the car. He'd been pouty and would not, for the life of him, leave Regina's hold after lunch had come by.
It was now just past the middle of the day,
"Baby, you have to go with Aunt Mal, okay?
"No, mommy please I want to stay with you! Don't you want me to stay with you?"
"Of course, I do, Henry, but I have to get some things ready before that."
"What things?! You always say that, and you never let me stay, mommy," he exclaimed sobbing.
Regina couldn't help but let her tears shed at the distraught form of her baby boy, all he wanted was to be with her. She couldn't imagine the pain he would feel thinking that his mother didn't want him to live with her.
"Henry, remember how I told you I'm sick?"
He nods, clearing his tears as he continues to sniffle away, "I am a lot better now, and I had been waiting before you had to leave to give you the surprise."
"W-what surprise? Another Thomas trains?"
Granny and Mal along with Regina only laugh at the question, even through his sobs, the little boy still had time to consider her favorite toy as an option.
"Unfortunately, not, sweetie," Regina replied. She cupped his cheek, wiping away the last bit of trailed tears, she breathed out in relief, her sweet little boy was growing up so fast and it broke her to know that she had missed time, even if it was just a couple months, without him in her life.
"How would you like to come live with me again? Like we used to?" The sheer joy that flooded Henry's face was more than response for her. His mouth wide and eyes glittering with happiness, he leaped towards Regina, wrapping his arms around her and yelping a yes over and over as he held her tightly.
She just holds her sweet little boy tight, making sure that he knew that she would never leave him again, that she would do her best to make sure that they never had to separate ever again.
"I'm really living with you mommy? Really?!"
"Yes, baby, I'm going to get a place for the two of us here in Storybrooke. Would you like that?"
"Yes, mommy, yes! I love Storybrooke it's the best, and Granny is here and Ruby and Roland and- and Robin!"
At the mention of his name there's a gnawing sharp pain in her gut, that swirl of nerves returns, and she sees the gleam in her son's eye. He really thinks Robin is quite special.
"As long as you are happy Henry, that's all that matters to me,"
"When are you getting the house for us mommy?"
"Soon baby, and I promise that I will be there to pick you up when the place is ready. Alright?"
Henry nods.
"But, you do have to go with Aunt Mal for now, I have to make sure it's all ready for you."
"I knew you were going to get better Mommy. Robin said so, you're a superhero! You're strong and would get better!"
"Well, I'm glad you both agree, my love."
.*.
She stands at the door, waiting with a knot tearing her inside. The door quickly opens, and Robin stands surprised eyes wide at the sight of her. His hairs mussed, clearly, it's been on a lazy day if his wool pullover sweater and green checkered pajama pants are any indication.
"Regina," he breathed out, god, he was so happy to see her. Without warning, she smacks her lips on his, wrapping her arms around his neck and him, instinctively wrapping his arms around her waist, bringing her closer to him, god it feels like forever.
It's rough but sweet all the same, his fingers tightening at her waist, as they kiss hastily in between sharp breathes. The gruff of his mustache, prickling at her lips, reddening them at every kiss and suck of her lips and she can't help but want to let him take her into his room and just ravish her.
But she halts slowly, collecting herself at one last nibble of her lips and he just doesn't want to let her go but she needs to do this, needs to tell him all she's had filling her mind the past weeks.
"I'm going to tell you something first and you are going to listen, got it?" she asks firmly. As he attempts to recuperate from their encounter, he nods firmly.
"I need you to know before this goes further that what you did, even if it was done out of anger at the situation with Roland, you hurt me Robin. You hurt me in the way I thought you never would. And if I'm here it doesn't mean that I will forget about it because it still hurts and it's something that I am working myself to accept but- fuck, it wasn't your fault, you were only protecting Roland and I would have done the same if it were Henry."
"I'm so sorry my love, I am- "
"I'm not finished," she interjects. Taking a deep breath, as she fiddles with the hook of her jackets zipper, she continues, "Since the night you found me at the gazebo, you," her head shakes, not willing to find the works to explain how she really feels. "I relapsed last year, because I felt alone, like no one believed in me because the only one who did was my father and he was dead. So, I met you and you were just so infuriatingly accepting and loving and… why are you like this? Why do you believe so wholeheartedly in people, in me?"
He pauses, merely sniggers are her shock, cupping her face, and planting a soft loving kiss on her lips. "I love you, Regina. I think I've been falling in love with you since the moment you stepped into Storybrooke. Isn't that reason enough?"
Not only is she awestruck, but she doesn't realize the tears that falls down her face, tears that he quickly wipes away, leaving no sign of pain in her face.
"What makes you so sure you do?"
"The same way, I'm sure that you're in love with me."
She doesn't respond, she takes a moment to look at him, lock his eyes with hers and she sees it, he really does see her, and it fills her with unexplainable peace, love and joy, because she does, she wholeheartedly is in love with Robin Locksley.
She plants her lips on his, kissing him once, twice and on their third she stays locked with him. Feeling the softness of his lips, of his love for her, proven in such a simple way.
"You love me, don't you?" he breathes out between kisses.
"I love you," she nods as she kisses him again, more promising, more committed.
She loves him, and he loves her. What more is there to say?
As they part, their foreheads touch and she can't help but breathe out in relief, in relief to know that everything she was so scared and worried about will be just fine. For the first time in a long time, she thinks this way, she has him to give her hope and love which she lacks, and she vows to herself that she will do the same for him.
They decide to spend the rest of the day together, loving one another and spending every minute as possible making up for lost time. There is so much to work on, so much that has been left unattended, but they have all the time for that. Now they relax, enjoying Christmas day together, have earth shattering sex throughout the day and enjoy cold burgers whenever they manage to fit some time in.
The end, for now.
