CHUCK VERSUS AGENT INSANITY
Chapter I
The Morning After
Damn! It was obviously 7 am. The alarm clock would tell him that. Buzzzzzzzz.
'If only I had one of these knifes, a-la-Sarah. I may try killing the bug,' Chuck moaned but couldn't open his eyes. Yesterday his sister Ellie finally got married. First try unsuccessful. But the second one was his personal triumph. Then Chuck decided to upload Intersect 2.0 into his head. This time it was his decision. And Bryce Larkin had died before his eyes.
It was the craziest day of his life.
He was only 30% awake, give or take. Yeah, that would be take. Why was the alarm clock buzzing and not playing one of his favorite songs? Christmas TV was now his weapon of choice even if he was still 6 months away from Christmas. Give or take. Yeah, that one would be give.
He tried to open his eyes again. Eyelids, so heavily glued. He wasn't able to lift them. 'What's going on with me?' he wondered. Was he blind? Was this some new Intersect state?
Yesterday, his father warned Chuck about what Bryce had told him. The data architecture of the new Intersect was modified after Stephen Bartowski finished his part. All Bryce had told him was, 'You don't wanna know'.
Not exactly good news in my book, Chuck thought, sighing.
He still couldn't open his eyes. Chuck decided to try something different.
His hands were lying beside his body, covered under a sheet or some blanket. He couldn't tell. His senses were still semi-asleep. Had he been sedated? He tried to raise them toward his head, rub his eyes. So they finally open.
Aaaaah!
He was screaming. Mentally, that is. His mouth was still unable to open.
He didn't have his boxers on. Was he completely naked? What was going on? Has he been captured by Fulcrum, or by these new bad guys, Bryce had told him? The Ring or something?
His hands tried to reach his face, so he could help the eyes open.
For God's sake, he had a sleeping mask on him. He had never used one. Slowly, he took it off. Still nothing. He rubbed his eyes, and they finally started to open, millimeter by millimeter.
He must have been sedated.
No, this wasn't his room. He was in a hotel. The interior reminded Sarah's hotel, the wallpaper and the furniture were very similar. But the configuration was different. Where was he? Something wasn't feeling right.
He turned to his left. Nobody there, but from the sheets he could tell that somebody had slept next to him. Please, be Sarah, oh, God, please, be Sarah!
But why isn't this her room, then? If it was Sarah, it wasn't any of her perfumes that he knew.
His senses were rapidly coming back now, together with the increasing panic. There was something about this perfume ….
He could now hear the water running in the bathroom. Somebody was taking a shower.
Chuck, feeling the panic taking over him, turned on his right side, his back towards the bathroom door, clenching on the sheets. Then he remembered about the missing boxers, turned left, rose up a bit, and looked for them.
'Boxers, boxers, boxers,' he was now muttering.
There were no boxers anywhere he could see. He tried to peek under the bed but at that moment the door of the bathroom clicked. Chuck was already back in his previous position, pretending to sleep, his back facing the bathroom.
The door opened and a slim woman, wrapped in a towel stepped in Chuck's hotel room.
It was Carina.
She looked at Chuck.
Her trained eye spotted almost immediately the tension in Chuck's position. He was just pretending to sleep. Ha-ha.
A spy who can't discern sleeping from pretending is a dead one. Carina was still alive and doing pretty well.
She smiled. She was about to have some fun with the nerd.
'Chucky, are you still sleeping, sleepyhead?' Carina was in her typical playful mode.
Chuck didn't know what to do, so he just went on with the sleeping ruse.
'I see,' Carina smirked.
She stretched, yawning, her towel fell down on the floor. Carina was naked and feeling really well. She stretched and stretched and stretched. She was really enjoying this.
Mmmm-mmm.
'Casey must be watching this on his cameras now,' she thought, smiling wide.
Chuck could hear the sounds of pleasure very well. Now his senses were really sharp. The voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't connect it to the right person. Who was that?
He tried to shut his eyes down even more. As if that had been possible.
In less than 5 seconds however, his curiosity won over. He slightly opened his left eye, looking at the wooden, lacquered furniture against him. The vague profile of Carina's naked body was there. That much he could tell. He immediately closed it back.
Mmmmmmmmm, I think I'm taking another nap.' Carina was pretending that Chuck couldn't hear her. Talking just to herself.
'After so little sleep, last night, I better recharge myself,' she slipped her naked body under the covers, next to Chuck.
Chuck wasn't sure how close she was to him. Was his own cover reaching enough to hide the entirety of him? Carina, still backwards to him, tried to find a better place, moving even further to the middle.
Chuck's eyes were now wide open. Was he feeling someone's behind, pressed on his now? That definitely was the case, as whoever this female was, she hadn't been thorough enough with the towel. That much Chuck could tell. His own sheet was a bit wet now.
Chuck couldn't remember to have ever been that tense in his life. Slowly, actually at snail's speed, he moved away from her, micrometer by micrometer. He felt safe again when he was about a inch away.
Carina was so enjoying this.
She sighed and murmured, loud enough for Chuck to hear it, 'Who could've thought that I'd have the wildest sex of my life with the nerd.'
Chuck's eyes were now wide open again.
'What!', Chuck couldn't control himself, he had jumped, turning himself back to Carina, his sheet falling dangerously low, he recovered, and was now looking angrily at Carina.
Slowly, Carina turned back.
"You?, What …", Chuck was staggered.
'Oh, Chucky, my toy-boy. I thought you were still sleeping, dear.'
'Carina, what are you doing here?', Chuck was getting very anxious, 'Where am I, what is this place and last, but not least, where are my boxers?
Chuck was desperate. 'Do you have any idea how little confidence a man has, when he has no boxers on him?' was Chuck's next question, but he preferred to keep it to himself.
He couldn't believe that he would be in his standard rambling mode even under these extreme circumstances.
'Oh, Chucky, I'm so sorry, I don't remember you in boxers. Do you think that's wrong? There was so much else to remember, after all.' Carina said innocently.
"Carina', now Chuck was shouting, "where are my boxers, and pants and whatever clothes I was in yesterday. Where is everybody, where is Sarah, my sister, why don't I remember last night. Did you, or anybody else, for that matter, tranq me?'
'Chucky, calm down, dear, you're asking what happened last night. Well, a gentleman doesn't talk about that sort of stuff, remember? She was reminding him his own words from a year ago. Well, think of me as a gentleman but with the right set of chromosomes,' she went on. 'I'm going to sleep now. Feel free to look for your clothes. They must be somewhere around. Nighty night.'
Carina turned again on her left side and pretended to fall asleep. Or maybe she did indeed.
Chuck was feeling less and less capable to control himself. He needed answers but first he needed some underwear.
Carina was fast asleep or just pretending, whatever, he didn't care. He tightly wrapped himself with his cover and got up.
'Thank you god, that we have separate covers.' Chuck was dancing around on his toes, desperately looking for any sign of his clothes.
No such luck. He suddenly realized it wasn't a hotel room but a suite. He headed to the living room, no luck. Back to the bedroom, into the bathroom. No, no clothes. Damn. Where is the kitchen, kitchen, he finally got there.
Two muscular men, in plainclothes, were sitting there on the table, reading newspapers. They had their guns on the table.
'Agent Carmichael, good morning, sir! I hope you slept well.' said the older one. He was obviously the one in charge.
Chuck was stunned. Have those two been here all the time? During his escapade last night?
But then, on the third chair he saw his clothes, neatly folded, shoes under the chair. Thank you god, thank you!
'Gentlemen, may I have my clothes, please. First order of the day is what? Get dressed. I think I read it somewhere in the CIA manual."
'Sir, yes, sir.' those two were obviously former military.
'Agent Carmichael, I'm agent Jones, NSA,' said the elder one staring at Chuck, 'and this is my colleague, Agent Specter. 'We are really honored to be assigned to your operation, sir.'
'Where is Sarah, Casey?' Chuck inquired.
'Colonel Casey is expecting you at his quarters, sir.' Agent Walker must have arrived in Washington 3 hours ago.'
'Could you stop calling me sir, please?' Chuck was feeling really uncomfortable around these. He grabbed his clothes and shoes and turned around.
'Why on earth was Sarah in Washington?'
He was just about to leave the kitchen when he remembered that he needed to ask them one more question. The mother of all questions and grandmother of all mysteries. At least that's how Morgan would put it, if he was here now. Good that he wasn't.
"Guys.' Chuck had changed the tone, trying to be as friendly as possibly 'Do you happen to remember, hmmm, what happened here last night, I mean within the premises of your current assignment, I'm sure that it's strictly confidential but I already have the clearance as you might imagine, I mean …', Chuck was struggling with the words.
'Has anything happened between me and Carina?'
'You mean Agent Falcone? I'm sorry, sir, we are from the morning shift, we arrived here at 6 am. You and agent Falcone were already sleeping peacefully.'
Chuck couldn't help noticing that Jones was trying to tame down the emerging smile. The other agent was hiding his face behind the newspaper.
'Of course you are from the early shift, why not', Chuck signed. "Agent Falcone?" British accent, Italian name. Carina was clearly 100% certifiable.
He seemed to have accepted his fate – he would never know what actually happened.
'Gentlemen, I'll be back dressed in 5 minutes, so we go see colonel Casey.'
Chuck rushed back to the bathroom, cursing. And there, while getting dressed, it dawned on him.
Casey must have installed microphones and cameras in the suite. So whatever happened last night, must have been taped. There was no way Casey would have missed to do that.
'I'm gonna kill you Casey!,' snarled Chuck. He scanned the entire bathroom. Did Casey bug it too? Chuck decided to search carefully, everywhere. It was so important now.
Of course, here it was, under the sink, stuck there behind the pipe. 'You didn't even care to hide it well, condescending Reaganite.'
There was no point to even look for more. Clearly, the bedroom was under surveillance as well. Everything was on tape on Casey's monitoring system!
Now, Chuck knew that he had to ask Carina what happened.
Fully dressed, now Chuck had at least some of his confidence back. He entered the bedroom, sat down next to the sleeping Carina and tried to wake her up.
'Carina, wake up, I have to ask you something', a desperate Chuck shouted.
Carina Falcone, as this was indeed her true family name, was the proverbial deep sleeper. She hadn't slept for over 36 hours when she got the call from her bosses urgently re-assigning her to Chuck. By coincidence, she was in LA again.
It wasn't that easy to wake her up now. But Chuck was in no mood to let go. Finally, she opened her eyes.
'What, Chuck, what do you want?' she mumbled.
'Carina, what happened last night, I was in this bed naked, then you turn up, what's going on here?' He was desperate. "Where is Sarah, you know a lot happened between me and her over the last year after you left, so, did anything …"
'Relax, Chuck, nothing happened. I was joking. I arrived at about 3 am, urgent re-assignment to protect you. You were sleeping there. There was a team of doctors here with some equipment, measuring your vitals or something. I guess you know why. You can ask the doctors if you don't believe me. Can I sleep know, please? You know, sleep deprivation is torture these days.'
Carina turned her back on Chuck and pretended to be fast asleep.
Relieved, Chuck left the room and joined the NSA agents.
Carina opened her eyes and smiled. Now, she was fully awake.
'Bye, bye, Chuck, bye, bye Intersect,' she sang to herself, imitating the Bye Bye Life theme.
Her smile was widening. How naive this Nerd boy could be? He wasn't even her type. She told him that a year ago, didn't she?
It was just a small piece of the Intersect she was after this time. That's why she was trying real hard to stick around LA most of the time. Increase her chances.
XXX