A path not taken from "Plan B"
None of the named characters in this story are my own. All belong to NCIS: LA.
Deeks knew when Nicole started kissing him in the interrogation room of the boathouse, that Kensi was watching. He even said people were watching, and when asked if he cared, Deeks and Nicole continued to kiss. He loved it. And it killed him.
Kensi and Deeks had seemed recently to get through whatever barriers they started out with in their new partnership. At first there was distrust, combined with a sort of lust between them. Things had changed. In fact, it seemed that as soon as they started trusting each other, their partnership bloomed into more than just a working relationship. Deeks sensed that they were heading down the road to love. Now he had kissed another woman while Kensi was watching. Where to go from here?
Kensi stormed into the interrogation room the moment Deeks collected the information necessary for the operation. When she grabbed Deeks and cuffed his wrists again roughly, he could tell that for her it was more than allowing him to stay in his cover persona. She was hurt.
All of this stayed just below the surface while the other team members remained at the boathouse. After Sam and Callen took Nicole to the police station, Kensi was still at the boathouse, staring out the window, with her back stiff but her shoulders sagging.
As Sam and Callen shut the door of the boathouse behind them, knowing Kensi and Deeks were still inside, Sam knowingly said to Callen "this is going to end badly. One way, they become a real item, and the other way they permanently lose the trust necessary in a good partnership."
Deeks walked silently up behind her, and gently wrapped one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist, pulling her back into him. Her spine stiffened even more, if that was possible. But she didn't push him away.
So Deeks just stayed there. Leaning his head over her shoulder, so his breathing was the only sound she heard.
No pithy quips would help at this moment. Those would help eventually, but not right now.
He just needed to have her hear him breathing, to feel her sensing his heartbeat, and eventually to synchronize both their hearts and their breaths.
Patience. Time.
Eventually, several minutes later, they were in synch. It made every breath seem deeper, and each heartbeat stronger, when their bodies were at least that much in tune with the others'.
At last, Kensi's spine started relaxing, too. With that she let out a shuttering sigh, as if she had been crying inside.
Whispering gently into her ear Deeks said, "I'm sorry."
Kensi turner her head slowly, then her body, so Deeks was facing her side instead of her back. With sorrowful eyes she looked up at him, breaking his heart. "I know," she said quietly, "it was just part of your cover. But it was a pretty convincing act. You even heard Callen say he wasn't sure how much of it was an act. And it looked real enough to me, too." Gently, she was letting him have it, sharing the pain she had endured as she watched him kiss another woman, as her knowing colleagues Sam and Callen watched her reaction from their sideways glances at her.
Deeks responded by holding out his hands to her, allowing her to decide if she wanted to continue the effort. With shaking hands, Kensi complied by slowly reaching out to his hands.
Deeks soothingly rubbed his thumbs across the tops of Kensi's hands, saying, "This needs to be a much longer conversation, and we still have an operation in process. Let's head back to the Mission, and carry on this conversation tonight. Is that okay?"
With a slight shrug Kensi nods her head, taking her hands back and praying that she can keep her composure when they talk later tonight.
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