Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers
Title: Well-shagged (28 Swindles)
Summary: Another, not out of the ordinary, prank on the Nemesis.
Characters: Swindle, Blast Off, Vortex, Brawl (Speaking role only), and mentions of other decepticons.
Continuity: G1
Rating: T
Pairings: Only hinted Blast Off/Vortex.
Warnings: None
Notes: Written for raelynhb on livejournal.
Well-Shagged: Or how Swindle became a walking carpet.
Blast Off did not enjoy the company of others, and even his teammates grated on his nerves often. However, this was one time he did not mind seeing Swindle walk through the door. The jeep was covered in various globs of white with, what must have been, a truck load of shag carpeting sticking to him. Blast Off was insanely amused, but was too dignified to show it.
That did not matter as Vortex was laughing enough for the both of them.
"What the slag happened to you?" the copter sniggered.
"Frag off!" Swindle snapped back, and maneuvered around Vortex to get to the wash racks.
"I said, 'What the slag happened to you?'" Vortex asked again moving to block his path. Swindle glared knowing that his teammate wouldn't move until he got an answer. Violence was the only other option.
"And I told you to frag off!" Swindle retorted. The smaller mech raised his fist to take a swing at Vortex so Blast Off spoke up.
"If the two of you fight and destroy anything in this room Onslaught will know about it and then you will be thrown in the brig until he deems to let you out"
Swindle turned his irate glare towards the shuttle, and for a moment looked as if he was about to switch targets. Instead he took a few deep breaths, and calmed himself down. Vortex was grinning under his face mask.
"So, you were about to tell us how you came to resemble a carpet?" Vortex put his hand on Blast Off and leaned against him as he started tapping his finger expectantly.
"Stop that" Blast Off swatted him off.
"Don't you dare tell Brawl"
"Scout's honor" Vortex raised his hand mockingly. His other hand, hidden behind his back, crossed his fingers.
"I got off duty earlier today, and Skywarp came up to me" the seeker's name alone explained a lot.
"So he says, 'Swindle I got this piece of an autobot guardian some guy took out on Cybertron'" Swindle continued, "he tells me that guy died in a battle a while after, and everybody raided his stuff".
"He tells me that he wants me to sell it, and give him fifty percent. I think sure, why the frag not? I could always negotiate with him to accept thirty percent, after all Skywarp isn't the brightest" the jeep started getting agitated.
"I go with him down to the storage bay, and guess what!"
"Instead of the merchandise he promised you, an elaborate prank is what you got?" Blast Off asked.
"Elaborate my aft! All he did was have Rumble dump a bucket of super glue on me and have Frenzy dump another one filled with carpeting right after! And there was NO FRAGGING MERCHENDISE!"
Swindle yelled out the last part, which Vortex found infinitely amusing.
"So Skywarp and Soundwave's runts covered you in glue and carpet that will possibly take hours to get off, and you're angrier about there not being any junk for you to sell?"
"Junk! Do you know how much a piece of an autobot guardian would go for on the black market? There are so few now that even a small piece could make a small fortune, and those glitches lied!"
"Just like you do on a daily basis" the jeep shook his fist at the shuttle.
"It was a perfect opportunity to make some money and now it's gone! I had to walk all the way down to one of the lowest storage bays and instead got covered in this slag! And there was no merchandise!"
"You've mentioned that already"
"You know I'm pretty sure the squishies could apply one of those morals that they always like to put in their stories to this" Vortex said.
"Let's see, how about not being a greedy idiot and Skywarp won't distribute righteous justice upon you" Blast Off quipped.
"There I've told you now will you get out of the way?" Vortex let Swindle pass now satisfied, but commed Brawl after the other was gone.
"Brawl when you get back I've got something to show you"
"What? Did someone step on Laserbeak, and take pictures again?"
"You'll see. Just don't say anything to Swindle"
Vortex giggled after he hung up. Blast Off sighed and shook his head.
"You know he'll be done washing it all off by the time Brawl gets back"
"Never fear Blast Off, I got it all on tape"
Vortex walked towards the door and reached upward towards the frame. He removed a small, hidden box with a glowing red dot on it, and put it in his subspace.
"How long has that been up there?"
"Long enough to get dirt on everyone who spends sufficient time in this room, including you"
"What do you want?"
"My room every single night for the next week"
"How about my room every other night for a week, and I'll give you the code to Onslaught's room"
"Deal"
The End