Title: Because I'll Laugh and Wave My Hand Now
Author: Dragon's Clan
Fandom: AU! X/1999 fic
Pairing: Sakurazuka Seishirō x Fem!Older!Shirō Kamui, also with a bit of Sumeragi Subaru x Fem!Older! Shirō Kamui ((A/N: Her name would be Shirō Kazumi, let's make her somewhere around twenty five)) This is one of the things I have fun in making, mostly it's because this pairing is dedicated to Seishirō x Kamui pairing, even though I like Subaru x Kamui pairing, Seishirō x Kamui sounds hot, doesn't? ;) Also there will be other slight pairings that will come in.
Rating: M
Summary: I've been listening to 'Sayonara, Yesterday' from Mizrock and that's how this one got its title, however this one is officially dedicateed to Seishirō x Kamui pairing that I've been wondering on weeks with no end, and this is just a normal 50 sentence meme, plus it also has a bit of Subaru x Kamui pairing, some of the sentences I've created for the themes are too long.
Note: Subaru never meet Seishirō in this one at an early age, Kazumi does, and she and Subaru are both born on the same year though, along with some people in this one.
Extra notes: Some minor changes, such as the Subaru in this one, doesn't smoke. Also Kotori in this one would be born on the same year as Kazumi, Subaru and Hokuto are. Fūma is still going to be seventeen at this one, meaning he'll be born on the year of 1982. In other words, Kotori in this one is Fūma's older sister. =P Besides "Sayonara, Yesterday", I've also been listening to "You've Always Hurt the One You Love" from Ryan Gosling if you haven't watch 'Blue Valentine' film directed by Derek Cianfrance, and "Dear John" from Taylor Swift.
Disclaimer: I don't own X/1999, it belongs to CLAMP.
Profile on Shirō Kazumi:
Eyes: Light Amethysts
Hair: Dark Chocolate, down to the middle of her back and slightly wavy
Age: Twenty Five in X/1999, Sixteen in Tokyo Babylon
Birthday: Same as Kamui's, which is we don't know, if CLAMP decided to continue on, let's assume its May 25, 1974.
Height: 168 cm, translates to 5'6.1" inches, which makes Seishirō 6'0" inches and Subaru would be 5'8.1" inches. I found out their heights in cm through this website and has to translate it into inches:
http: / 07 . aquaboxno7 . net/ = Don't forget to get rid of the spaces once you copy and paste the link.
The website itself is Japanese, so you'll have to find a way to translate those words into English.
Clothes and Accessories that Kazumi wore:
Tokyo Babylon Days:
Era from Louis Tiffany style pendant necklace, a star crew regular neck tee, a double crisis cross vest, a three button cut off short, she's been wearing white gloves for the longest time but she doesn't know when, leathered braided jean belt and black sandals.
X/1999 Days:
White gloves, BKE Burnout White V-Neck Top, skinny blue jeans, a checkered bracelet, a silver cross bracelet, a dark brown rose hair claw.
Post X/1999 Days:
Black trench coat, black gloves, white button up shirt, black stretch navy jeans, black boots, the silver cross and dark brown rose hair claw are still on her.
#01 Comfort
She didn't need comfort, especially from the Thirteenth Head of the Sumeragi Clan, she wants the comfort from someone that broke her heart and lied to her long ago, she knew only he can repair it, until he breaks it again and continues the cycle again and again.
#02 Kiss
Kazumi remembers faintly in a dream, a young teenage boy she met when she was eight, surrounded by sakura petals, his face is shadowed, but she remembers he tells her something about a year and gives her a kiss on her hand, what she doesn't know, is that he had marked her and will always be his, only his prey, until they meet again eight years later or so on until the two years before the Promise Day.
#03 Soft
Seishirō watches Kazumi, amuse at seeing how she was still able to retain her innocence after making her cry, a red blush decorates her cheeks across her nose, her skin soft and pale under his touch, making him want to ravish and tarnish it at the same time.
#04 Pain
Pain cuts through her as she watches the person she loves the most, effortlessly breaks her arm without any kind of emotion and puts her in a deep sleep, her heart crashing when he whisper those harsh words into her ear. "I don't love you, Kazumi-chan."
#05 Potatoes
While peeling the potatoes with a sharp knife, she accidentally cuts her finger, light amethysts eyes winced in pain as she watches the red liquid slowly drips of her hand and remembers his favorite colors are either light amethysts, the color of her eyes, or the color red, the color of blood from his kills to satisfy the tree's hunger.
#06 Rain
It was raining when Subaru took her away from the destruction of the Rainbow Bridge out of worry, funny how things work doesn't, she thinks sarcastically, usually rainbows represents happiness and joy, now the rainbows reminds her of a bad omen, of her own hand through him because he wishes it, for her to take over his position as Sakurazukamori, when she wants it the other way around, for him to take her life.
#07 Chocolate
There was chocolate on her cheek, liquid chocolate for making Valentine's Day Chocolate, he licks it off her cheek slowly, Seishirō smirks at seeing her looking at him with wide eyes and turning at a deeper red hue that he'll have the pleasure in teasing her in the future.
#08 Happiness
Her happiness was to be killed off by his hand and that didn't happen on that day, Subaru watches her sadly, wanting as to very much comfort her but she won't let him, tears continuously leaking down to her chin, she wasn't moving and she is sitting in the same position as the late evening earlier, however she still has a role to play, the final decision of the Promise Day is drawing nearer, closer as time passes by.
#09 Telephone
Hearing the telephone ringing, she calmly picks it up, eyes widen in shock at hearing his voice, telling her to look outside her window, she did and there he was, in his usual black coat and suit, she opens her window, and he jumps through it, watching as his bloody hand traces her face slowly leaving red prints on her, she was entranced by his gaze that seem to be suffocating and holding her in that position with a strong grasp of control that he always has on her.
#10 Ears
His ears picks up hearing her moaning in pleasure as Seishirō restrains her movements calmly, he licks, sucks and giving her bites here and there on her porcelain neck, shoulders and breasts, he smirks in amusement and satisfaction, this would show that Sumeragi who she truly belongs to, that is after telling her not to wear any turtlenecks, tank tops, or scarves to hide or conceal all those hickeys on her neck when he returns her back to CLAMP CAMPUS.
#11 Name
"Kazumi-san," Subaru whispers her name against her lips; she forces her mind to imagine and believe it was her late predecessor that was saying her name against her lips, possessively, cruel and rough, but never gentle, kind, or caressing like how Subaru said her name.
#12 Sensual
Seishirō blinks at seeing her looking back at him, like a deer caught in headlights, her face is so red but it's the attire she is wearing that makes his mind run blank, a French maid outfit, he slowly smirks and starts to advance to her like a predator cornering its prey, she didn't move or back down, he'll definitely make this night more sensual for her because of the present she presented to him, it was more like an offering to says to him 'Please rape me, Seishirō-sama'.
#13 Death
He was her death, a slow final nail hits on her coffin fit for her heart, she rather he had killed her on that day than making her kill him, it all she wished for so long after nine years since he killed her best friend, Kotori.
#14 Sex
Seishirō waits with a smile in her room, knowing she'll come for him, seeking him for another night of sex, he is her obsession, she craved for him, he is her drug that seems she could never get out of or let go, she hates it that he knows that, that he enjoys taking pleasure on being the only person she could be intimate with, and he'll be a hypocrite if he doesn't admits it was the same for him when he is buried inside of her.
#15 Touch
Kazumi feels his touch is slowly breaking her, her eyes clouded with hazy lust as she stares up to see his one hazel eye stares back at her, darken with emotion she had never thought she'll see on his face, not when he had lied and broke her so many years ago, saying he doesn't love her, but he is truly a liar back then.
#16 Weakness
Her weakness was him, the illusion that her twin star weaved over himself shown him, only him, never anyone else, and that's what cause her to lose one of her eyes on that day, gently reassuring Subaru when being cradled in his arms that this is her wish that's been created out of guilt for making him loose his own eye back then.
#17 Tears
She looks so beautiful when she is crying, he thinks and he still does, even when the tears trails down her cheeks to her chin, she still looks beautiful when she does, and he decides to create the same effect when he killed Kotori in front of her through a dream that is surrounded by sakura petals.
#18 Spread
Her lips spread apart as he ravishes her mouth, fighting and teasing her tongue all the same, holding her hips down as they tried to move up and grind against his, hands handcuffed together, he likes it when she begs him, words like 'Please, fuck me now Seishirō-sama' or moaning out his name in pleasure with words like 'Seishirō-sama', that always pleases him and for once, he grants her plea with a smug smirk.
#19 Wind
The wind ruffles her hair, making her shiver in the cold winter days, being the gentleman he is, even though he is a sociopath and a government assassin, he takes off his black trench coat and puts it around her shoulders, before pulling her close, breathing and giving puffs of hot air on her neck, it never seize to please him on how dark she can blush or how her breath quickens and escalates when he does that, only he can produce the same effect on her every single time.
#20 Freedom
The freedom he had given her after his death, felt so wrong, as Kazumi stares at the back of her hands, the pentagrams gone, but she knows they were there, invisible and under her skin, she wants to go back to the old and simpler days, where she is forever chained to him, innocently unaware of whom he is or what his true occupation was.
#21 Life
Kazumi doesn't care for life of humanity to continue on living, even though she does save humanity at the brink of extinction, killing her twin star in a cold manner, her own life, her own purpose, felt meaningless without him here, alive with her.
#22 Jealously
To say he was jealous and possessive from the attention the males are giving her, is something that can be defined easily by his next course of his actions, he doesn't worry about the Sumeragi, Sumeragi Subaru is too shy, too kind, not broken, he worries about her twin star as Fūma slowly moves up to her, fingers under chin to make her look at him, she blinks at him innocently, Seishirō decides he has enough of this as he drags her away from a disgruntled Fūma, hand on her wrist, she looks at him with innocent curiosity before cornering her against the wall, her mouth being thoroughly ravished by him, her cheeks burning red, he held her up with her legs around his waist, Shirō Kazumi would always be, and always will be his playmate and no one, not even Fate or Fūma is going to take her away from him.
#23 Hands
He wakes up from the hospital after the disastrous event on the Promise Day to see her white glove hands holding one of his, she is crying for him, he once said she is like a martyr, he is right about that seeing that she already forgives him for the emotional pain he inflicted on her nine years ago.
#24 Taste
Kazumi mouth, skin, everywhere on her body taste very fresh and intoxicating sweet to him, he isn't going to let her go anytime soon, even when that time comes for both him and her to meet once again in a battlefield.
#25 Devotion
It wasn't devotion, it's an unhealthy obsession they have for each other, he likes to play with her, breaking her again and again, she is chasing him, making sure he won't do anything that will cause pain for her fellow friends, if he wants to cause pain, it'll only be her that will suffer under him and she rather it stays that way.
#26 Forever
Kazumi loves Seishirō forever, and she believes that he loves her after discovering in a horrifying shock on how the Sakurazuka Clan is only run by one person, the predecessor will have to be killed by the one he or she loves the most, that person will then become their successor, the next Sakurazukamori.
#27 Blood
He saw everything, he wasn't sure how, but his heart tightened at seeing how injured she was, at how much blood came out of her when her twin star granted one of her self-destructive wish, Seishirō emotions didn't change, mask firmly in place when the Kamui of his side returns, looking very much displeased at how Seishirō was able to influence his twin star before he could, granted, she didn't belong to Fūma from the start, and he'll make sure it stays that way.
#28 Sickness
Seishirō grew concern when his favorite player didn't show up, pretending to be a concern acquaintance of hers to easily get the information from some people, he learns that Kazumi had collapsed out of sickness and fatigue, shaking his head in amusement, he might as well pay a visit to her, telling or scolding her for not taking a good care of herself.
#29 Melody
The melody that sprung from her voice, her anguish cry is the sweetest music Seishirō ever heard from her when she discovered those people she grew to care are dead and his hand is dripping in blood from their dead bodies.
#30 Star
The star mark that were scarred on both of her hands, Subaru dislikes the man that did this to his leader, she shouldn't be marked like that, he himself wouldn't do that to her, even so, he clenches his hands in frustration, Kazumi loves the Sakurazukamori, and these scars always remind her who she belonged to, even after his death, Kazumi would always be Seishirō's and never his.
#31 Home
The place that was his home, has been finally granted to her through inheritance of becoming the next Sakurazukamori, even though he isn't there anymore, she could feel his lingering presence on her, wrapping around her, never letting her go, it's almost like he is there with her spiritually since his death.
#32 Confusion
Seeing the confusion on her face is one of the adorable faces Seishirō have the pleasure in seeing, he takes a darker pleasure in breaking that adorable face of hers when he broke her arm and whispers the words she didn't want to hear before falling limply into his arms.
#33 Fear
There is fear in Subaru's eyes, as he watches Kazumi killed her twin star in cold blood, angry that he gave her Seishirō's eye, she wouldn't disgrace her dead lover, he did say she looks beautiful with both eyes, and Subaru wonders if she'll ever get back to normal, but Subaru knows that she wouldn't hurt him because he reminds her of her own innocence when she was sixteen before it was stripped away harshly by the same man she still loves the most.
#34 Lightning/Thunder
Lightning is unpredictable, not everyone wants to try and experiment the theory that lightning never strikes the same place twice, however Kazumi realizes that even after nine long years of seclusion, isolation, training to defeat him once and for all, she has fallen in love with Seishirō again after coming back to Tokyo.
#35 Bonds
The bonds she created with every Ten No Ryū that would be with her for the Promise Day, is enough to be used as an anchor to keep her grounded since the bond she has with Seishirō is there, broken, frail, and she'll be damned if she lets him destroy whatever anchors she has left before gravity pulls her into his arms again.
#36 Market
Seishirō finds a young woman with dark chocolate hair that goes to the middle of her back, light amethyst eyes, she has a cat tail and cat ears, and he sees her in the market one day, he buys her off from this blond fan girl and a severely displeased spiky black hair of her brother, but Seishirō doesn't care as he brings the young woman to his home and calls her, Kazumi and for her to call him 'Seishirō-sama', which she does.
#37 Technology
Seishirō admits that handcuffs are wonderful technology that has been innovated, again and again over the years, as he sets on pleasuring his prey, slowly torturing her and sending her off close to the edge, the 21st Century always has something interesting from the toys in that shop, he absently wonders if she could handle more pleasure from him if he bought more toys from that shop again, seeing her squirm under his predatory gaze is very enlightening.
#38 Gift
"The greatest gift is being killed by you, the person I love the most." He whispers into her ears, the hand holding her cheek falls down, dead, and Kazumi breaks down in tears with him in her arms, shocked and despaired to the core, she hadn't noticed her own green dome kekkai slowly dissolving away, and everything that held up the bridge through its destruction of their battle slowly crumbles down into the watery depths below.
#39 Smile
Seishirō smiles when he sees Kazumi crying only for him, asking why he let her kill him when she wants him to kill her, he pulls her down and on his last dying breath he said those words into her ear that she couldn't believe he'll say it after all these years. "It's because I love you."
#40 Innocence
Innocence stripped away by him, the pain of being one of the causes of her best friend's death, Kotori, is already heartbreaking, savaging the remaining pieces of her innocence together, she hardens her heart to ice and built walls around it, however in seven years later, the walls Kazumi built around her heart, shattered to the ground without the sound as she meets the Thirteenth Sumeragi Clan Head, Sumeragi Subaru, and later on, she meets him once again, Sakurazuka Seishirō.
#41 Completion
Kazumi stares at Fūma nonchalantly as he hands over his eye with an offer, if she were to take this eyes and replace it with one of her own, she won't feel any completion as she felt before, and she'll have to take his place as one of Chi No Ryūs, however the Chi No Ryūs do not need two Kamuis, they only needed one, so she refuse, if she were going to fight this war and Promise Day, she might as well make him feel proud of her for being something not even Fate can control, she'll decide the final Judgment on that day.
#42 Clouds
"It's going to rain again, Seishirō-san. How are you feeling? Are you happy whenever you are? Do you even miss me?" Kazumi said as she looks up at the clouded sky while leaning against the sakura tree the Sakurazukamori always guarded, she didn't receive any answer and she begins to smoke a cigarette from a cigarette pack she had bought from a store earlier, a bad habit of hers she developed nine years ago that continued up to the Promise Day and after, she might as well have cancer and dies from it, but it's a slow death compared to how his death was.
#43 Sky
Kazumi remembers the starry sky that Seishirō-san once brought her to see with him, it was one of the simpler days she was fond of but those days were far gone from the present day after the Promise Day ended, she remained elusive to every remaining Ryūs from both sides, she doesn't want to bring them down or fall in love again, knowing that if she does, the next person will either become the next Sakurazukamori or her prey.
#44 Heaven
Kazumi never did believe in heaven, it usually translates to her and in her words they mean "heaven is an ideal paradise or utopia that only exist in our imagination" either she is right or wrong, no one questioned her, especially as she is still grieving for her predecessor.
#45 Hell
Seishirō absently wonders if this is hell, that Kazumi didn't step away or move when he shoved his hand through her chest and whisper 'sayonara and I love you' to his ear, somehow the Fates became so twisted that he became the Kamui of the Ten No Ryūs in her stead, much to the Sumeragi's anger and a few others, he was given one of her eyes to replace the glass one, but the thing is, it wouldn't matter now that she is gone and it feels strangely empty without hearing her voice, seeing her eyes, or the expressions on her face, this is indeed Life itself(1).
#46 Sun
In a way, Kazumi reminds Seishirō of a Greek myth called 'Icarus(2)', something about his wings held up by feathers and wax, despite his father's warning, Icarus has flown to close to the sun, and with it's searing heat, it melted the wax off and Icarus had fallen to his death, Kazumi may have fallen, but not from death, she has fallen from grace and with a truculent pleasure, he knows that he was the one who cause her to fall.
#47 Moon
The moon hangs limply above Ueno Park, the sakura tree had been fed already, although Kazumi isn't surprise to see Subaru in front of her, she had sensed him few minutes ago when he enters Ueno Park, he looks at her with sadness, longing, and pity, that she looks away, she doesn't need pity, all she wants is to die so she could be with him, however even the ancient sakura tree couldn't grant her that wish, and she lets Subaru go with a warning to never find her again, she doesn't want him to suffer like she had.
#48 Waves
Kazumi, she figured, must be dreaming if she is seeing a young boy with black hair and hazel eyes looking at her with curiosity, he waves at her and she looks at the boy with an emotionless face and a frown as waves back, she still thinks she is dreaming until he said his name is "Seishirō" with a smile that she woke up with a start and looks around in panic and longing, realizing she was lying against the sakura again, it comes quick into her mind that it must have fed her those dreams, hearing its branches, leaves, and petals swaying in the wind, Kazumi ignores the sudden feeling of uneasiness when the tree begins laughing at her sadistically.
#49 Hair
Kazumi told him once, and tells him again, never to find her, but Subaru stubbornly refuses, he couldn't understand it either, but he loves hers, this person who was a guide through his own darkness only to be lost in her own, she still loves Seishirō, Subaru decides that if she wants to move on, to meet her dead lover again, she eventually have to hand over her position as Sakurazukamori to someone she loves the most, Subaru gave up his mantle as the Thirteen Head of the Sumeragi Clan and had pass it over to one of his clan members who is also powerful and strong willed, Kazumi looks at him after hearing the story from him, her light amethysts dulled, she smirks at him mirthlessly, her hair is longer and still beautiful as it was before, she wasn't the person Subaru once knew, but it wouldn't matter to him even when she said 'idiot' in her raspy voice before kissing him, she tastes of cigarettes and something that tastes bittersweet, it seems that only he can grant her wish for the time being.
#50 Supernova
She wasn't smoking at that time, pain exploded through her and she smiles at Subaru gratefully and apologetically, both are the first true emotions that she let him see when he decides spend time with her, he looks at her in a horrified realization, a white palle hand came and caress his cheek and pulls him into a kiss, tasting more like bitter coffee she had in the morning with a bit of blood that slowly and begins to flood her own mouth, the faint taste of cigarettes and some sort of flavor that couldn't be describe, "Don't regret, I love you as I have loved Seishirō-san before, I will always love him and I already knew that you can't replace him, and that's ok. I love you as well and you don't need to worry about that fact anymore. I never wanted you to do this, but thank you for granting my wish." The blood dripped through the back of her black trench coat, white button up shirt stained with red, her light amethysts eyes closes in peace with a smile, her dead and rapidly cold body is being held close by the former Thirteen Sumeragi Clan Head as he cried in despair, and the cycle continues on into a distant future without stopping.
(1) - this is indeed Life itself is a quote I've taken from another story written by Edgar Allen Poe, it's called 'The Oval Portrait.' The quote itself means how in some people's terms, life is perverse, an example would be like creating one's life and at the same time destroying one's life. It's a tale of an artist, his devotion to his art, and the artist's wife. It's a sad tale, even though it's Gothic horror, it's sort of fits in here because if you read 'The Oval Portrait' before, you could see some similarities, especially in regards to this AU! Seishirō x Fem!Older!Kamui pairing, or the original canon pairing such as Seishirō x Subaru, Fūma x Kamui, or Subaru x Kamui.
(2) - Icarus is about this Greek Myth in which he and his father, Daedalus. They've attempted to escape Crete with wings made of feathers and wax, Daedalus warns his son to never fly so close to the sun, Icarus didn't listen and had flown to close, the wax melted of and Icarus was sent spiraling down to his death.
More and more notes: I think I've might made Kazumi a bit too masochist or something, so yeah. So, what do you think?
Read and Review.