The Jitters rooftop is far from the highest point in Central City, but Barry finds it still affords him his favorite view of the place he calls home, the city he's dedicated himself to defending. Currently, it gives him a pleasant scene of workers bustling below him, no doubt on their lunch breaks, rushing to grab a bite to eat before heading back to their obligations, a stark contrast to the kids at the playground near the elementary school, laughing breezily without a trouble to bother over. The carefree sight moves him and he can't help breaking into a smile, though admittedly, there's another reason behind his blatant happiness today.
Besides providing a site for an exceptional photograph, the rooftop has a distinguished sentimental value to him, mostly because of Iris. It had been their spot since Iris's barista days, even before he became a speedster, before the secret rooftop rendezvous to meet her when she knew him as the mysterious Streak. Hehas fond memories of nights spent on the roof after she would close up shop at the end of her shifts. They would make their way up fourteen flights of stairs, never taking the elevator so they could justify devouring the café's leftover cookies and muffins once they reached the top.
He recalls one night in particular when he was a breath away from confessing how he really felt about her. Their conversation had turned to whether or not they believed in soulmates.
"I don't know, Bear. The idea of the same two people sharing complete love, trust, and commitment for their whole lives?" Iris had contemplated, gathering the last of the muffin crumbs and popping them into her mouth. A heavy silence fell between them momentarily while she watched the sleeping city beneath them. "I mean…I already kind of feel like that with you."
He remembers appreciating that the night had masked his rapidly reddening cheeks, though it did nothing for the thudding pulse in his chest. He shook himself out of his trance, grasping her words, recognizing opportunity, feeling hope. He opened his mouth, almost spoke-
Iris turned to face him, flashing her signature smile, vivid even in the dark. "Who needs a soulmate when you have a best friend, right?"
Though not his favorite rooftop recollection, it reminds him of the extent that his relationship with Iris had evolved, awakens him to so many other things she had uttered on this very roof:
"Help me save my friend."
"I have been thinking about you. About us."
"You'd get to see your mom again, your dad, have a great career….even get married."
It was no question that this was where he and Iris would exchange vows before their wedding day.
"Before the wedding?" Iris had inquired, puzzled, when he caught her by surprise and eagerly presented the idea one afternoon at CCPN.
"A lot of guests are coming, Iris. And while I certainly have no problem declaring my love for you publicly," he bowed his head to press a quick kiss to her lips, shooting a sly glance at her coworkers. "Or showing it, for that matter, I was hoping we could write a different set of vows to exchange beforehand. You know, just us." He shrugged.
"Okay." She smiled against his lips. "I like this idea."
"Next Friday at noon. Our spot." He had winked at her before backing away from her desk slowly, his eyes catching sight of the engagement ring around her finger that confirmed just how far they had come.
The bliss and content he feels when Iris finally appears on the roof is overwhelming, as if it were his true wedding day. He wonders how he'll be able to handle seeing her walk down the aisle tomorrow, clad in white, clutching Joe's arm, making her way toward him to become his wife.
"I took the elevator," she calls out to him. "Judge me."
"Guess that means no wedding cake for you tomorrow," he chides, shaking his head mockingly.
She climbs over the low brick wall, hopping down to join him. There's a bounce in her step as she approaches. She throws her arms around his neck when she reaches him, leaning her head against his shoulder.
"You have no idea how good it is to see you right now," she mumbles into his shirt.
He rests his cheek against her head, closing his eyes at the weight of her in his arms. "Everything okay?"
She sighs exasperatedly. "Can we just skip the wedding and time travel to the part where you and I are married?"
"We also have to get through the rehearsal dinner tonight," he points out.
Iris groans. "Eloping seems like a brilliant idea right now."
"Don't let Linda hear you say that." He squeezes her shoulders affectionately. "After all the work she's invested into this."
She lifts her head irritably. "Linda brought this on herself when she insisted on being the official unofficial wedding planner the moment we announced our engagement."
"She means well, Iris," Barry assures her.
"She does," Iris agrees. "She's done an amazing job putting everything together. And driving me insane," she chuckles.
"Well, you'll get to return the favor when she and Wally eventually tie the knot."
"She's already taken the role of Bridezilla on my behalf. You would think it was her wedding tomorrow instead of mine." Her phone chimes with a text message alert. "That's probably her right now, blowing up my phone reminding me not to be late to my last dress fitting later."
"I can race you over to the boutique after this," Barry offers.
"And have Linda breathe fire at me for letting you within a mile of the dress the day before the wedding?" she jokes. "Don't you want me alive tomorrow?"
"I have technically seen you in a wedding dress before," he cocks his head deviously.
"Is it weird for me to be jealous of another Iris I've never met?"
He laughs and kisses her forehead. "Don't be. My Iris is the best Iris."
"Anyways," she smirks. "What's the real deal here, Bear? I'm having trouble believing that we're writing two different sets of vows at your suggestion."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm just surprised you were willing to take the extra effort to do so. Writing vows once is hard enough as is. Are you sure this incredibly romantic gesture isn't in fact a clever ploy to hear my vows beforehand so you can try to upstage me tomorrow?"
"No, because I want to go first," he grins, hands in his pockets.
"Oh, good. You've already come to terms with the fact that I'm going to make you cry," she gloats. She reaches into her purse to pull out a meticulously folded piece of notepaper with an air of superiority. "I hand wrote these, baby. Didn't feel right to type up my wedding vows like I would an article for work."
"I didn't write anything at all," Barry says, even more smug.
She raises her eyebrows. "No?"
"Nope. I've wanted to say this for years. Been ready way before you, Love."
Her eyes narrow and it's possibly the most adorable expression he's ever seen. They did this often, argue pettily over which one of them loved the other more. But he's right: he has years on her and there's nothing she can do about it.
"Getting a little cocky, aren't we?" She tucks the paper away, folding her arms across her chest. "Fine then. Let's hear what you've got, Allen."
"You're going to be an Allen in less than twenty-four hours," he reminds her, taking her hands, bringing the one that sports her engagement ring to his lips. "So calling me that won't have competitive merit anymore."
"West-Allen," she corrects, but she softens at his touch, already more somber.
He looks down, rubbing his thumbs absentmindedly over the back of her hands. The reality of the situation abruptly overcomes him, his confidence suddenly replaced with vulnerability. Where he was just teasing her, he finds himself nervous to articulate what he's thought about her for more than half his life.
He wills himself to look her directly in the eyes, letting go of her hands briefly to interlock their fingers together.
"I've never been that great with words," he starts. "You were always the writer, and when it comes to you, I'm usually speechless, whether it's because I'm amused by you, charmed by you, impressed with you, in awe of you.
"It's so easy to love you. The hard part is conveying it in a way that does it justice. So this is a bit of a stretch for me, but I need to say it, because you deserve to hear it, over and over again. I owe it to you to at least try to tell you how I feel about you, how you make me feel.
He takes a deep breath. "I'm not sure when exactly I realized that I loved you, Iris. I've told you before, on that Christmas Eve that I'll never forget, that it was before I even knew what love was, but I thought about it: when, really, did I start to love you?
"Was it when you stood up for me in fifth grade after Tony Woodward pushed me off the swings? Was it when you talked me into entering the middle school science fair because you were so sure I was going to win?
He looks away, pondering silently, before swallowing, meeting her eyes again. "Was it when you believed my story about the Man in the Lightning when everyone else saw a traumatized boy who lost his mother?
He feels her tighten her grip on their intertwined hands. It's the encouragement he needs, and he gathers the strength to continue.
"The truth is, I still don't know. I can't pinpoint the moment when I started to grasp that what I feel when it comes to you is love.
"Since becoming The Flash, I've learned that I don't need to put a time stamp on these sorts of things. The concept of time changed for me after I was struck by lighting. I mean, only after that did I realize that the impossible was possible. Only then did I know that time could be travelled across, could be undone. So I'm learning to embrace that and accept that I'm here to love you, always. I can't define a beginning to when I loved you.
He beams. "And that's okay because I know there sure as hell won't be an ending.
"It's like what I feel for you is…timeless in a way. Only it literally is timeless," he chuckles lightly, before going pensive again.
"Is it a coincidence that we found each other in this timeline, even after it was all changed?"
His eyes crinkle lovingly. "I still found you, Iris," he breathes.
"Is it an accident that in some other universe, on some other earth, our doppelgängers are together, married before we are? I remember you doubting the idea in the past, but that sounds like soulmates to me.
"I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we're only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway. And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.
"I know you have those moments where you wish I had told you how I felt about you earlier. And I would be lying to you if I said I didn't also feel a twinge of regret from time to time. But I would always tell you that now is the best timing, and I still believe it. Maybe it's easier for me because I can undo time, but even if I can, even if I did, I'm not stupid. No matter how fast I move, time's going to keep ticking away. Time doesn't stop. Time won't ever stop. But when I'm with you, Iris, when I'm with you— it feels like it does.
His smile widens. "Sometimes, I really do feel like I'm here just to love you. It sounds far-fetched, but it's true. Yeah, I have a duty as The Flash to protect the people of this city. But, Iris…it's all because of you.
"In many ways, you're the one saving the city just as much as I am. You save me, Iris. I meant it when I told you that without you there wouldn't be The Flash.
"Remember that one night, when you asked me what it felt like to be lost inside the Speed Force? I didn't really have an answer then. I still can't fully explain it, but it was…euphoric, or enchanting in a way to see my mom again. It was like she was calling me to leave everything, my family and friends, my home, my own body behind.
"I was so tempted to. That was the power of being close to my mother again. Even though I knew it wasn't really her, the manifestation of her in the Speed Force was enough for me to consider it.
"But it was nothing like the power of you. Of your voice, Iris. The mere sound of you calling to me rescued me that night.
"You brought me back. You always bring me back. You ground me. You're…home for me. For a lot of people, marriage is the start of a new journey, but…I already belong to you.
His eyes bore into hers. "And it feels like I'm finally going home."
He lets out a breath that he wasn't even aware he was holding as he steps back shortly to take her reaction in. Iris stares at him, wordless, quiet tears streaming down her face. He lets go of her hands to bring his own to her cheeks, using his thumbs to brush her tears away. She embraces him, pulls him close, burying her head in his chest, astounded for a minute before murmuring, "I can't believe I'm admitting this Barry, but I think you may have upstaged me."
Disclaimer: There are two lines that aren't mine. ("No matter how fast I move, time's going to keep ticking away. Time doesn't stop. Time won't ever stop. But when I'm with you, Iris, when I'm with you— it feels like it does.") and ("I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway. And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you."). I initially thought they were both from the comics, and wanted to incorporate them, but actually only the first one is. The second one is from The Chaos of Stars by Kiersten White.