They shouldn't be here at this time of the night in the first place. The highway stretched on before them, with only the light from the moon and the SUV's headlights. Trees lined up on either side of the road. Not a single building in sight.

Naruto shivered then glanced at the rearview mirror. "Hey Lee, you sure this is the right way?"

The thick-browed male with a bowl-shaped haircut nodded. "I'm certain this is the shortcut to Neji's residence. We have taken this route before, when we visited his place after our high school graduation."

"Remind me again why he'd celebrate his twenty-first birthday in his hometown, specifically at his parents' house? Tomorrow will be just about rich people in fancy clothing and classical music and formal dining and all that shit."

A soft feminine voice answered. "It's our family tradition, Naruto-kun."

Naruto shifted his focus to the dark-haired female on the window seat beside Lee. "Well that sucks. So, you get to do that too, Hinata-chan?"

Hinata must have put on some blush-on, Naruto figured, because her cheeks weren't that pink last time he checked. "I-I'm afraid, yes," she said, voice as soft as… well, it was soft. "When a Hyuuga comes of age, the celebration must be held at the parents' house. It symbolizes the parents' blessing for their child as he or she would start living outside the household and enter adulthood."

Naruto huffed and ran a hand through his blonde hair. "I guess that makes sense. But why does their house has to be so far? It's a five-hour drive from the city for goodness' sake!"

Lee joined in. "That is why Neji entered our university, because the dorms are already provided. You are forgetting that we took the shortcut, so the drive may be lessened to three hours at the least."

"Oh yeah? Well, it's taking forever to get there! Look at the time, it's nearly midnight!"

A scoff came from the pink-haired girl on the passenger side. "If someone in here hadn't acted like the jerk that he was earlier, we should have gotten to Neji's place a few hours ago."

Someone grunted from the backseat, on the other side of Lee. And then silence.

Tension crackled in the cramped space, before Naruto cleared his throat and decided to speak in his friend's defense.

"Sakura-chan, give teme a break. You know how jealous he can get." Another grunt from the backseat, but Naruto ignored him and continued. "You and Neji had some kind of history together, so try to understand your boyfriend's side."

Sakura must have been playing chess in her head, and Naruto's face was the makeshift board. "Neji was just my crush back in high school, Naruto. I only wrote him a letter, which he accepted out of courtesy. We hadn't even dated! And besides, we all know that he and Tenten are together now. Sasuke-ku– Sasuke's just making a big deal of it and chooses to put on his jerk mood."

"Oh." Naruto looked at his black-haired friend through the mirror. "You heard that teme? Nothing major between them. Hell, nothing at all! Now you got your explanation, so quit acting like a baby and apologize to Sakura-chan and to all of us. I mean, your mooning around's the reason why we're late…"

A glare was Sasuke's response.

Naruto shivered. That was the truth though, Sasuke had locked himself in his room, moping about Neji and Sakura's past, which Lee accidentally mentioned without giving out the details. Naruto had to drag the teme out of their dorm and into the car, consuming most of their time; thus, their current predicament.

Because Sasuke's mood had triggered Sakura's equally short temper, the latter switched places with Hinata for the shotgun position.

Naruto sighed and focused on the road. "Gah! I'm done with you two. Fix your shit on your own."

They all mimicked what the night did – remained quiet. No sign of life could be seen outside this car, except for the plants of course. They hadn't even encountered a single vehicle yet. The full moon also added to the creepy factor, as it floated at the sky along with thin clouds that tried to cover it every once in a while.

Naruto shivered. And started shaking one leg to distract himself, sweat forming on his forehead. Why did this ride have to take so long? Desperate for another conversation, he glanced at the rearview mirror.

"Hey Lee, you sure this is the right way?"

The thick-browed male with a bowl-shaped haircut nodded. And paused. "I believe I answered that one previously."

A crease embedded itself between Naruto's brows. "What if we're lost? You know, like that movie 'X Turn'? Where there were some psychos hunting down some lost civilians in the forest?"

Lee scrunched his face in thought. "Oh! The one where the killers happened to be brothers! I prefer to call it 'Incorrect Turn'."

Sakura shook her head. "It's just a movie. I suggest you lessen the habit of watching horror movies, Naruto. Looks like they affect you so much and that condition is quite unhealthy."

"I ain't scared of make-believe stories!... I'm j-just associating them with our sit-tuation." Naruto shivered.

"Uh-huh. When's the last time you watched a horror film?"

Naruto bit his lower lip and looked at Sakura, to the road, then back to his green-eyed friend. "Um… Yesterday…"

"See? No wonder you're getting so paranoid. What movie?"

"'Abnormal Activity: The Dorked Ones'."

Sakura's jaw unhinged. "Seriously?"

"H-hey, everyone's already watched it Sakura-chan! I d-don't wanna be left out!"

"Just because everyone's seen it, doesn't mean you have to. They're not you, and you're not them."

Naruto sighed and resumed shaking one leg. "I know, S-Sakura-chan. I was j-just curious."

Silence returned and sealed their mouths. The thick foliage on both sides of the road had been stealing Naruto's attention. Silhouettes of trees and bushes watched their car's movement, while he struggled to keep his eyes on the asphalt road. No network coverage was available here either, so they couldn't contact Neji for additional directions. Why weren't there any houses around here? Or a gasoline station even?

Naruto shivered. Once more. And again.

"That's it! I can't take this anymore!" He steered the wheel to the side and hit the brakes, throwing them all forward as a consequence. He then fumbled for the seatbelt, while the rest stared/glared at him in confusion.

A chorus of "What are you doing?" and "What's wrong?" played over and over, as Naruto kept on working with the seatbelt, sweat trickling down the sides of his face.

"I GOTTA PEE, OKAY?!"

No one dared to make another noise.

"Oh." Lee.

Finally, the seatbelt set Naruto free. He wasted no time and barged out the door.

"That's disgusting, Naruto." Sakura said.

"Hey, I have no choice! It's not like there're any restrooms available here." He kept on walking to the bushes, at a distance far enough for privacy and still on the range of the car's headlights. Darkness loomed before him, but he chose to stay where the light was. So, the only thing black near him was his shadow, stretching in front and sticking to his feet.

Naruto was reaching for his zipper, when a rustle from behind straightened his spine. With wide blue eyes and a frozen bladder, he stared at the shadow figure right next to his. It was shaped like a human, only with two pointed things atop its head. The shadow was getting bigger, which meant it was heading towards him from behind.

There was nowhere to run, and he didn't have some holy water or whatever book of spells to fight back. So, he did the only thing he could.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

And the last thing he registered was the carpet of soft grass against his cheek, before darkness fell over him.


"Naruto, wake up!"

"Naruto-kun…"

The said person lifted his eyelids to four of his friends huddled around him. He was sitting on the grass, back against a tree trunk.

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata, who was kneeling beside him, smiled and pushed his hair back. "We were so worried about you."

"Huh? What happened?" His voice sounded tired and groggy.

Sakura stood up. "We're supposed to ask you the same thing. You said you would take a pee, so you went out of the car. Then suddenly, you were screaming your lungs out and just fainted. What happened, Naruto?"

Naruto shivered, becoming aware of his not-yet-emptied bladder. But why so? What stopped him from his objective? A chill ran down his spine. He remembered it now: the rustle and the strange shadow figure coming to get him.

"Th-there was a d-demon in here! I saw it!"

Sakura raised a brow. "Riiight... I'm serious Naruto, this isn't a horror movie."

"But it's true! I swear I saw it walking towards me!" He gasped. "What if it has already possessed me? How do I get it out of my irresistibly hot body? I don't wanna lose my mind!"

Sasuke grunted. "You don't own one to begin with."

"How dare you, teme?! You wouldn't help your possessed best friend when he needed you most?"

"You're not possessed. You're still acting like a dobe."

Naruto's brows furrowed, nostrils inflated. "Good point."

Hinata helped him to his feet. "It might only be your imagination, Naruto-kun."

Naruto sighed, defeated. "I guess…"

"You guys, look!" Lee called out from the side. He was a few steps away and looking out beyond the group of shrubs before him. Right there, from a distance and concealed by most trees, a huge house rested. No driveway was provided, which was strange, and it had a single walkway to the front porch. No gates or fences either, which didn't really made sense for a mansion.

"Let us examine it in close range!" Lee chimed. "What do you think? They may have something to eat, and I am starving."

Sakura stepped beside him. "I don't know, Lee. But don't you think it's weird to have a house in the middle of nowhere? Without a driveway, too? I mean, they couldn't possibly get there by merely walking."

"Maybe they have a motorcycle or they hitch a ride."

"What about the absence of fences?"

Lee shrugged. "It can impose a psychological impact for potential robbers. Like saying: Get near this house if you must dare to suffer the consequences."

"For robbers OR a bunch of young adult trespassers. I don't think it's a good idea."

Sasuke nodded once. "Hn."

Naruto shivered. "Yeah… How come we didn't notice it before? What if it's a haunted mansion? And what if there's no one in there? I don't see any lights on."

"Let's find out. It may be fun to explore the inside."

All eyes stared at the last person who spoke, unbelieving those words came from this timid girl.

Innocent grey eyes stared back. "What? There is only one way to find out the answers."

"That is the youthful spirit, Hinata-chan!" Lee pumped a fist in the air.

Naruto shivered, trying to contain the time bomb that was his bladder. He didn't need any of this nonsense, and his friends wouldn't leave him alone to take care of his own unfinished business.

Then it hit him.

There was a mansion. And where a living space was, a potty space could be found. Just what he needed!

"I agree with Hinata-chan! Let's explore that mansion!"

Sakura must have lost the chess play in her head, and Naruto's face was the makeshift board. "What?! Going in there may be dangerous."

Naruto grinned. "That's a part of the adventure, Sakura-chan."

"You guys may go ahead, but I'm staying inside the car. I'll just wait for you there."

Sasuke cleared his throat. "I'll stay with you."

A pair of green met a pair of black. Lingered and conversed in silence. Then the greens broke away, returning to a pair of blue.

"I changed my mind. I'll go with you to that house." And Sakura led the way, with Hinata on her trail.

Naruto placed a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "Don't worry man, she'll forgive you soon."

Lee passed by them, sporting a tight smile. "This can be my chance to get close to Sakura-san."

With a glare enough to cause a forest fire, Sasuke grabbed Lee's collar and shook him in place. "Don't. Even. Try."

"I was– I was just kidding, Sasuke-san." Lee raised his palms up in a gesture of avoiding a fight.

"You better be." Sasuke let go of him and strode off to the house's direction, leaving a frustrated Naruto with a shocked Lee.

"Sorry about that, Lee. You know he's a bastard by default."

"I perfectly understand."

They arrived at the front porch of the mansion. Up close, it was even more massive in scale. The mansion boasted gothic architecture, with its pointed windows and doors, sculpted figures on the surface of its rock walls, gargoyles on the roof eaves and balconies, spires on the roof, and the dark colors of the now chipped paint finishes. It was about four-storeys high, with moss and vines clinging on the exterior walls and cobwebs on the angles.

As Naruto observed all these, he couldn't help to point out the missing elements in this setting. With a little touch of lightning, mist and some dead trees around the yard, the mansion could very well pass for a typical haunted house.

Naruto shivered. Oh… how he badly needed a water closet or a urinal right now, and one or both of those awaited him inside this building. He turned to his thick-browed friend.

"Lee, you saw this mansion first, so you get to knock."

Lee nodded in determination, before stepping forward to the double doors. "Fear not, my friends, for this is a test of our courage."

"Just go on." Naruto urged. Then shivered.

Lee started reaching out for the circular steel, which was in level with his shoulder and attached to the center of the door. Four, three, two inches to the knocking device, and the door swung inward on its own with a low creek.

Their spines stiffened in synchrony, except for Sasuke, whose only significant reaction was a slight rise of the eyelids.

Lee forced an unsteady chuckle. "What do we know, the door has been unlocked all along, and the wind must have opened it for us… how convenient."

Naruto, like the rest, chose to stay quiet; although they had a mutual understanding that the wind couldn't even sweep the dry leaves on their feet, much less move a solid panel door.

Lee stepped inside, and they followed suit. Candles lit the spacious foyer they were at, and most likely, the rest of the mansion too. Candle holders were attached to the stone walls at every five meters or six. The high ceiling that was supposed to appear welcoming made them feel even smaller. With the dim light, the grand staircase a distance away before them could be noticed. It had a landing, which branched out the stairs to the left and right direction.

Against the landing's wall and opposite the door they just walked through, was a portrait almost one storey in height. On it was a man dressed in medieval clothing, with straight black hair that reached past his shoulders, too pale skin, and dark-rimmed eyes with a look that foreshadowed terror.

Naruto shivered and whispered, "He looks like Dracula."

A slam echoed throughout the space; the noise that can only be caused by the now closed front door. They gasped in synchrony, except for Sasuke, whose only significant reaction was a slight rise of the eyelids.

Lee forced an unsteady chuckle. "What do we know; the wind must have closed it for us… how convenient. Let us check if it's unlocked." He walked back to the door and tried to pull it open, but to no avail. "It cannot be opened. I think it's locked."

"What do you mean it can't be opened?" Sakura stomped to the door and attempted to pull it herself, but it wouldn't budge. "Holy crap…"

Sasuke started walking towards the door to give it a try, when a calm gravelly voice spoke.

"Welcome to my abode."

The voice alone dropped the temperature in the room, freezing them in place and covering their skins with goosebumps. Naruto shivered. They turned to the source, which or who was standing on the landing. A man, who was an exact replica of the portrait, looked down at them with a smile too welcoming for Naruto's liking. Hinata held onto the hem of his shirt.

"Uh… Sorry to barge into your house without your permission," Naruto said, "We were about to knock but your door was open, so… yeah, we apologize. Maybe we should just go–"

"Nonsense." The man descended the stairs in fluid movement, making them back away against the door. "I accept guests anytime of the day. As you very well observed, my dwelling happens to be remote from the city. Having guests is a rare occasion, so let me grant you my hospitality."

Naruto forced a smile. "There's no need, really–"

"I insist." The man's golden eyes narrowed as he lowered his voice. "You can keep me company for the next hour or so. I conceive it as a fair coincidence. You have chosen the right time to visit, for I am on my way to have a midnight snack."

On cue, Lee's stomach grumbled.

The man's smile extended. "You are hungry yourselves, are you not? Please, come join me at the dining table. It would be a pleasure."

The five friends exchanged glances that read 'I guess we don't have a choice' and 'Okay?' before Naruto nodded in hesitation.

"Sure…" Naruto said.

"Perfect."

"Uh… Can I ask you a question, mister…?"

"Orochimaru. You can call me Orochimaru."

Naruto shivered. "Yeah… May I use your restroom? Please?"

Orochimaru tilted his head to the side. "Why, of course you may, but I am afraid you can do so after we have eaten. I only have one servant for the time being, and he is currently tasked within the kitchen. He cannot attend to guide you to the restroom and you might get lost if you find it on your own. I suppose after our snack would be fine?"

Naruto shivered from the man's piercing gaze and from his own full bladder. "I guess I could hold it in for that long." But his voice came out high-pitched, far from how he intended it to be.

"Very well, follow me." Orochimaru headed to the left corridor, where a number of arch openings were cut through the walls.

As they passed along the arches, Naruto also sneaked a look inside them. They were individual rooms, mostly furnished with sofas and coffee tables. Arches were also present through the side walls, linking one room to the next. The lit candles were beside the entry ways alone, and heavy draperies covered the windows, which could explain why they weren't able to spot any lights from the view outside.

They entered the arch at the end of the hallway, where a room that appeared to be the dining area was located. A long table stretched at the center, surrounded by… one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine… eighteen… nineteen, twenty… twenty seats!

Why would a single man have a dining table for twenty persons? Naruto shivered. Then again, maybe he had some relatives, who visited him during special occasions.

They took their seats, where Naruto sat on one end of the table and his four friends occupied the seats closest to him, while the house owner took the seat at the other end. According to Orochimaru, it was the custom seating arrangement for the host and his guests.

A white-haired man, who must be the servant, walked inside the room. Orochimaru introduced him as Kabuto, before they started conversing in muted voices. Naruto hadn't caught anything from their exchange; but the look Kabuto gave them was enough to make them want to run away and get out of this house as soon as possible.

Kabuto returned to the kitchen, while Orochimaru kept them entertained, asking questions from how they got there to a bit more personal topics, and in turn, answering some questions of their own.

"So, the two of you are undergoing a lovers' quarrel then." Orochimaru said, eyes on Sakura. "From what you have told, you preferred to remain within your automobile than to visit my abode, correct?"

Sakura looked at Orochimaru, but averted her gaze to the wall almost immediately, making Naruto glad that he wasn't the only one freaked-out by the Dracula-wanna-be.

Sakura cleared her throat. "Yes, that's my initial choice. But I can always change my mind, can't I?"

"You most certainly can. I trust that your decision was greatly influenced by our Sasuke-kun?"

Naruto caught how Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the honorific. Naruto might have also imagined Sakura mutter 'MY' under her breath, before she answered back.

"I don't think that's in any of your business. Sir."

Orochimaru gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "My apologies, I tend to treat others' concern as my own sometimes. Still, I deeply feel bad for our Sasuke-kun." He turned to Sasuke. "You must be bearing hopelessness and anger at this moment, are you not, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke didn't spare him a glance. "Hn."

Did Orochimaru just lick his lips while looking at Sasuke? Naruto shivered, and he doubted his bladder had something to do with it this time. This Dracula-wanna-be just kept getting weirder by every minute.

Lee broke the silence. "Excuse me, Orochimaru-san. Are you the only one residing in this mansion?"

"Other than me and my servant, nobody else lives here."

"Then, you must be bored quite often."

"Indeed, that is why I take pleasure in receiving guests." Orochimaru rested his chin on laced fingers. "I recall you are about to attend a birthday? Whose birthday will it be among you?"

Lee shook his head. "He's not with us. He arrived at the venue days ago with his girlfriend. We are his friends, and Hinata-chan is his cousin."

Orochimaru's eyes shifted to Hinata, who trembled on her seat. "I take it your cousin resembles your features?"

Hinata stared at the tablecloth. "W-we have s-similar eyes, Orochimaru-san."

Just then, Kabuto emerged from the kitchen door, pushing a food cart that supported a large circular tray with a domical silver cover. He stopped beside Orochimaru and flashed them a smile too honest it revealed secrets. In a graceful move, he lifted the cover with one hand and presented the food.

Nothing. The tray was empty.

Naruto's brows furrowed. "Where's the food?"

Together, the house owner and the servant grinned, showing off their white teeth and sharp canines. Together, they appeared to be enjoying an inside joke. After a few beats, Orochimaru answered with that crisp gravelly voice that was the offspring of ice and an ice pick.

"They had been here all along…"

Their spines stiffened in synchrony, except for Sasuke, whose only significant reaction was a slight rise of the eyelids.

Orochimaru blinked, and his pupils turned into black slits, resembling the eyes of a reptile. His head started moving up and up, elongating his neck in a wave motion similar to a belly dance. His tongue darted out, touched his lips, his chin, and then his shoulders, while strings of saliva dripped and dangled on the sides.

Meanwhile, Kabuto raised a hand to his hair line, pierced the skin with his sharp nails and lowered his hand in slow motion, pulling the skin off his face and revealing a surface of scales underneath. He stretched the skin further down, peeling it and his clothes away from his neck, arms, and torso, as if he were stripping off an overall suit. When the peeled-off skin reached his hips, his lower body transformed into a tail – not like a mermaid's, but of an anaconda's body – which spiraled in many loops onto the wooden floor.

Kabuto hissed and stared at them with the same reptilian eyes as his master. "Bon appétit."

The five friends gathered air into their lungs and screamed in synchrony, except for Sasuke, whose only significant reaction was a slight rise of the eyelids.

In less than a second, they were out of their seats and were running off to the nearest door available. As soon as they were all inside the adjacent room, Naruto shut the metal door and locked it in place, before banging noises came from the other side.

"We have to get out of here!" Lee shouted, directing the way to another door that could lead them outside. They maneuvered between kitchen counters and antique appliances, where a number of pots big enough for a human being were set. These must be what Kabuto had been preparing.

"The door is locked from the outside!" Lee panicked.

"Try the windows." Sasuke suggested, which they all did, but the windows had been welded shut.

"Holy shit!" Naruto turned behind for the kitchen door, which hinges are about to give out. He spotted a long knife on the counter and reached for it. The rest grabbed their respective weapons as well.

"Let's check the windows in other rooms." Sakura dashed for the remaining door, and they were quick to follow.

Naruto was the last person to pass through. As he reached for the knob in an attempt to close the door, the steel door at the other side crashed onto the flooring. Kabuto slithered through, grinning at him as he would to a quarter pounder – complete with patty, pickles, raw onion, ketchup and mustard; with cheese slices too if he wished.

"AAAAAAAAH!" Naruto shut the door, before Sasuke and Lee pushed the tall cabinet at the side and blocked the doorway. When the cabinet was in place, they sprinted to another room, which Naruto recognized as one of the parlour rooms.

Open archways connected the room to the next one; no more doors that could shield them from their pursuers. The distant crashes from the kitchen continued as they ran to the next room and tried to open the windows.

Naruto's adrenaline pumped even stronger at the thought of possible outcomes from this chase. Would they be able to get out of here? Alive? Would they end up in those snake-men's bellies? A layer of sweat covered Naruto's forehead. With the feel of liquid on his skin, he was reminded of another kind of liquid in his body that had been threatening to break free. He shivered.

He could get through this. Multi-tasking was his middle name.

Then it hit him.

If being chased around by snake-men wasn't enough to distract him from Nature's call, then maybe he could add another distraction. He had read somewhere before that if you experience a headache, a possible remedy was to hit your elbow against a wall. Distract a pain with another kind of pain. He could do that. Yes, he was a multi-tasker after all.

As they headed to another archway, Naruto hooked one foot against a side table, sending him to the floor with an 'oof'.

"Naruto-kun, are you all right?" Hinata turned to him.

"I'm okay!" He stood up and joined his friends to another parlour room. The windows were the same – welded shut, and they were down to the last room.

Naruto was on his way to one window, when he shivered once again. "Oh! I forgot to stumble down."

And so he did, with another 'oof'.

Sakura must have lost the chess play in her head for the second time, and Naruto's face was the makeshift board. "Why do you keep doing that?"

"Because, Sakura-chan, it's what they do in horror movies!"

Sakura rolled her eyes, while Hinata walked closer to them and spoke.

"D-don't you think the silence is suspicious?"

Naruto's brows furrowed. "I think it gives us an advantage. They might be looking for us in the wrong places."

Hinata shook her head. "Their senses may be heightened. Also, the servant had managed to break a steel door, so a wooden cabinet should not have slowed him down like this."

Sasuke grunted in agreement.

Lee turned from a window. "I was thinking the same thing. Something was not right." He crossed both arms against the chest and looked up in thought. Then he gasped. And screamed.

Above them was Orochimaru, sticking at the ceiling in an inverted crawling position.

Before they could make a run for it, the snake-man's tongue extended and wrapped a few times around Lee's neck, up to his jaw, and up to his mouth to muffle the screams. Orochimaru hoisted Lee off the floor and started choking him.

"Hey! Put him down!" Naruto tried to swing his knife to Orochimaru's tongue, but the latter lifted Lee higher, making the blade ran across Lee's thigh instead and spilling blood on the carpet.

Lee gave a muffled scream as his round eyes widened in shock.

Naruto gasped. "I'm sorry man! That wasn't meant for you!"

Orochimaru chuckled and kept on swinging Lee in the air like a pendulum.

Sakura threw the frying pan she had been holding, but Lee's head took the hit. Sasuke threw a knife, but it got stuck on Lee's chest. Hinata threw an egg beater, but it targeted Lee between the legs.

Orochimaru let out another chuckle and coughed twice at the amount of saliva he produced with his tongue out. "Sh-ubigh humangsh! Yah cang –ang, bu– yah cang'k hi-gh!"

Lee was limp now, with a blood-soaked shirt, a bump on the forehead, a deep gash on one thigh, and beaten eggs.

"Come on. Let's leave." Sasuke said, grabbing Sakura's hand.

Sakura pulled him back. "But what about Lee? We can't just leave him here!"

"He's dead."

A hissing sound came from the adjacent room, making Orochimaru chuckle once again while he crawled at the ceiling towards them.

That was their cue, and so they sprinted out of the room, to the hallway, and to the foyer.

Sasuke glanced at the staircase. "Upstairs. We can try the balconies."

When they arrived at the second floor, a hiss echoed from the foyer, so they picked a random door along the hallway and rushed inside.

The room contained rows of bookshelves, large paintings on the walls and a few tables at one side.

Naruto held a hand against his heaving chest. "They got Lee! What do we say to his twin brother now?"

Sasuke raised a brow. "Lee doesn't have a twin. And lower down your voice."

"What?!" Naruto shout-whispered. "What do you mean? What about Gai-sensei?"

Sakura must have chosen to play Sudoku inside her head this time, and Naruto's face was the make-shift grid. "Naruto, he's almost a decade older than Lee."

Naruto gasped and covered his mouth with one hand, since the other was still holding a bloodied knife. "Woah… That's even creepier."

A slam from the hallway alerted them. That was definitely one of the snake-men, checking the inside of each room. Naruto shivered.

They hid under one of the tables and remained as quiet as possible. Hinata was shaking beside him, so Naruto decided to put his arm over her shoulders in a comforting gesture and offered her a kind smile. Naruto wondered if she had been applying some blush-on while they were running, because her cheeks weren't that pink last time he checked.

Wait. When was the last time he noticed that anyway?

The door clicked open, and Kabuto slithered through with his half-anaconda body. He left the door ajar and started advancing to the bookshelves, passing through every aisle.

They couldn't see his half-human self from under the table, but the bottom snake part was enough to give the creeps.

Kabuto crawled behind one bookshelf. And didn't show up on the next aisle.

They glanced at one another in silent shock and curiosity, before Naruto removed his arm around Hinata and tightened his grip on the knife.

The hissing became louder, getting closer to their hiding place, sending chills to their skins, and then Hinata screamed.

She held onto Naruto and Sakura's arms, while a force pulled her from behind. On instinct, Naruto reached for her hand, but forgot the knife still in his grasp.

Hinata screamed once again, tears streaming down her cheeks and blood gushing out of her forearm.

Sakura gasped. "Oh my God!"

Naruto threw the knife away and clutched onto the hand. "I'm sorry, Hinata-chan! It was an accident!"

Sasuke and Sakura pulled Hinata's uninjured arm, while Naruto held the other. Even with the three of them, the pulling force favored the snake-man.

Kabuto chuckled. "Sssilly kidsss… You give yourselvesss away… I can sssmell your fear…"

*Phooooooooot*

Kabuto paused, and Naruto took advantage of the situation by adding force to his pull, but the blood had made Hinata's hand slippery; and the flesh parted further, allowing more red liquid out.

The half-anaconda coughed. "Ack! Sssuch a putrid sssmell! Okay, who farted?"

"Not me." Sasuke murmured.

Naruto might have imagined Sakura mutter 'defensive jerk' under her breath, before she spoke with Hinata.

"Hang-on! We got you."

Kabuto wrapped his snake tail around Hinata's ankles, around her knees and around her torso, suffocating the life out of her. Within seconds, Hinata turned paler and her whimpers became fainter.

"G-go… S-save yourselves…" She managed to croak out, before her eyelids closed.

"No! Hinata-chan!" Naruto felt her grip loosened, but he still didn't let go. "Hinata-chan!"

Kabuto sneered. "Orochimaru-sssama will be here, any minute now."

With Hinata's last words and the new threat in mind, the remaining three dashed from under the table and to the hallway. Again, they chose a random door and entered.

There was a queen-sized bed, two nightstands, and a sliding door on the opposite wall. It was a bedroom with a balcony. A balcony!

Sasuke ran to the sliding doors and tried to open it. When it did give way, he turned to Naruto and Sakura, who were quick to join him outside.

The high balcony was situated at the side of the house. From here, they could see the parked SUV along the highway. Now, they would just have to figure out how they could get down.

Sakura walked back inside the bedroom and started gathering the bed sheet. "We can use this to slide down from the balcony."

"Right! Just like what Rapunzel did," Naruto said, "well, except that she used her long hair and not some bed sheet. No, she didn't use the hair, her step mother did… and so did the prince charming… but did she use it after cutting it off? Whatever! Let's get this over with."

They looped the bed sheet to create knots about every three feet apart, which they could grip onto as they descend. Naruto worked on one side of the bed, while the couple stood at the other side – their backs to the hallway door.

Sakura glanced at the black-haired male. "Hey, um… Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn?"

"I forgive you."

A pair of black met a pair of green. Lingered and conversed in silence. Then the blacks broke away and bounced off a wall, only to return on the greens.

"I know you will." He smirked.

Sakura closed the distance between them with a hug. "And I'm sorry for being rude to you, too."

"Apology accepted."

"I'm scared, Sasuke-kun." She whispered.

Sasuke pulled back and raised his palms against her cheeks. "Don't be."

With mocked excitement, Naruto watched the scene before him. "Gee, what a touching and cheesy reconciliation. I knew you'd make up somehow." And the grin faded. "Now, let's get to work. Focus people!"

A loud bang came from the hallway, freezing them to the bone while they resumed making knots on the length of the bed sheet.

Seconds ticked by, and no one dared to speak.

Naruto shivered. "Dun-dun dunn dunn…"

Sakura lifted an index to her lips and whispered. "What are you doing?"

"I'm improvising!" He shout-whispered back.

"For what?"

"A background music!"

The door splintered with a sudden force that drilled past it, before Sasuke grunted and coughed-out blood. Through the door and through his chest, was Orochimaru's tongue. The tip secured a knife, which Naruto had thrown earlier at the other room.

Sakura screamed.

From the hallway, a chuckle sounded. "I houng-gh yah!"

Sasuke tried to snatch the hilt of the knife, but the tongue wouldn't let go despite all the slippery saliva. He tugged again, and the tongue tugged back, resulting in a tug-of-war between them.

"Go." Sasuke managed to say through gritted teeth. "Dobe, g-get her out of here."

Sakura shook her head. "No!"

Naruto tried to reach for the knife. "We can help you teme!"

"D-don't. Just go. Now."

Naruto placed a hand on his shoulder and looked straight at dark eyes. "You're a great guy, teme. You're my best friend."

Sasuke managed a smirk. "Hn. Leave."

The tongue let go of the knife without warning, and Sasuke's pull was so strong he couldn't stop the knife until it was buried deep into his intestines. Blood coated his chest, his abdomen, and his hands. The red liquid cascaded from his body to a pool of blood under his feet.

Sakura gasped. "Sasuke-kun!"

Then the tongue squeezed further through the hole in his chest and swirled around his torso, before pulling Sasuke backwards, shattering the door even more in the process.

"Let's go, Sakura-chan!" Naruto grabbed her hand and the bed sheet, but her eyes were on the broken door.

"Sasuke-kun!"

Naruto shook her on the shoulders. "Pull yourself together! We have to survive and report this to the authorities! We'll seek justice for our friends. Come on, before they get us too!"

They dashed to the balcony, tied the makeshift rope to one baluster and slid down. Sakura was the first one to descend, and Naruto followed. Just as the blonde's feet touched the grass, a loud hiss came from the balcony. It was Kabuto, looking down at them with his predator grin.

Without further ado, they sprinted off across the yard and to the highway's direction. When they were close to the trees, Sakura tripped and dropped to the ground.

Naruto came to a halt and pivoted on his heel to look back at Sakura, who was only meters away from a slithering Kabuto.

"Sakura-chan! This is no time for horror movie clichés! Get up!"

Sakura whimpered and rose on her knees. "I can't! I think my leg's broken!"

Naruto started running towards her, but Kabuto beat him to it. The half-anaconda wrapped its tail around Sakura's ankles and pulled her to him, all the while, he chuckled in victory.

"Naruto!" Sakura stretched her arms in front and dug her fingers on the soil, creating straight patterns on the ground.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto picked-up a rock thrice the size of his fist and threw it forward with great force. Since the snake-man's attention was on Sakura, the rock managed to hit his shoulder with a thud and managed to scrape his skin. Instead of blood, some gooey yellowish liquid came out of the scales.

Kabuto growled and turned to Naruto with sharpened eyes.

Before speaking, Naruto picked up a larger rock, just in case. "Let go of her, you snake-man!"

"Asss nutty asss a fruitcake, are you?..." Kabuto licked his lips. "Yum… But firssst, you have to wait for your turn…"

With Sakura in the clutch of his tail, Kabuto squatted – or made a move close to a squat without the knees and all – before springing up in the air and leaning backward, performing a perfect summersault. As he landed on his tail, Sakura also slammed against the ground with a shriek.

Naruto gasped. "NO!"

Again, and again, and again, Kabuto summersaulted, while a series of cracks came from Sakura's body. She had stopped screaming after the second summersault.

Naruto's form shook in panic. He looked down at the large rock in his hands and threw in to Kabuto's direction without a second thought.

The rock flew into the air and collided with Sakura's head, cracking her skull open. Blood sprinkled free and covered her face, as some brain tissues peeked through the crack on her forehead.

Kabuto grinned. "Why, thank you…"

Vile rose to Naruto's throat and his stomach weighed heavier. Because he couldn't witness the scene any longer and couldn't bear to search for the bishops, rookies, knights or numbers that might come out of Sakura's head, Naruto ran away to the SUV.

As soon as the car was in reach, Naruto pulled the door open, clambered inside and locked the door. He was still panting hard, when he made out a figure from his peripheral vision. Someone was sitting on the passenger side.

Ever so slowly, Naruto turned his head to the side. Air rushed and sought refuge into his lungs. His eyes were too exposed to air that they prickled and stung with the invisible needles until tears began to form. He couldn't bring himself to blink.

This was impossible! How could this be? This was the last person he expected to see: thick black brows, round eyes with long lashes, and a bowl-shaped haircut. No way…

"Gai-sensei?"

Round eyes narrowed. "I'm Lee, you idiot! Why did you let me die in there? You killed me! And it is now time for you to experience the same suffering."

Lee's tongue darted out, touched his lips, his chin, and then his shoulders, while strings of saliva dripped and dangled on the sides. His pupils turned into vertical slits of black against dark gold. His pupils were focused on Naruto.

There was nowhere to run, and he didn't have some holy water or whatever book of spells to fight back. So, he did the only thing he could.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!"


"Hey Naruto, wake up!"

"Dobe."

"Naruto-san."

"Naruto-kun…"

The said person's eyes snapped open. He was lying on the car's backseat, head resting on Hinata's lap.

"Hinata-chan? You guys? You're alive?" He muttered, mind swimming in confusion.

Hinata brushed some hair off his forehead. "You were having a nightmare Naruto-kun. You were squirming and making incoherent noises in your sleep. You really got us all worried. Are you okay?"

So he was asleep all this time? Naruto shivered. But how? "What happened?"

Sakura spoke from the passenger seat. "You said you would take a pee, and Lee decided he needed to go as well, so he followed you outside. But suddenly, you were screaming your lungs out and just fainted. We couldn't wake you up, so we brought you back in the car and Sasuke-kun took the wheel."

Sakura sent a smile to the driver seat, which earned a grunt from Sasuke.

Naruto's brows flew up. "You two are cool now?"

Sakura must have completed the Sudoku puzzle in her head, and Naruto's face was the makeshift grid. "Yeah… We had a talk while you were sleeping."

"Oh." Then Naruto realized a missing piece in this picture. Still on his back, he searched the car for one more friend. Two persons were in front, and only he and Hinata were on this backseat. His eyes landed on the space above the seat, where a shadow figure was hunched toward at him. It was the shadow he saw earlier; the one with two pointed things atop its head. Naruto shivered, becoming aware of his not-yet-emptied bladder.

The shadow figure moved closer to the light, leaning forward and revealing…

"Lee?"

"Yes, Naruto-san? I am glad that you are awake now. Do you need a bottle of water? I could get one for you from the packs around here. I have to say, this compartment is pretty spacious."

It was Lee, indeed. And now that Naruto could see him clearly, he noticed that the pointed things on Lee's head were bunny ears attached to his hoodie. Wait. Did Sakura mention that Lee followed him to the bushes?

Naruto sighed in relief. Thank heavens it was all his wild imagination. Thank heavens they had found the snake-men only in his nightmare. Naruto's terror and worry were flushed out of his system. The burden lifted from his shoulders, bidding him goodbye. The dam finally broke loose and let the rushing waters wash away the fear. Rivers flowed through and discharged to the calm sea, where tranquility would gradually overpower the anxiety.

The feeling was exhilarating.

Naruto shivered. Sakura was right. He had to lessen the dose of indulging in horror movies.

The said pink-haired girl turned to look at him. "By the way, Naruto, why did you scream a while ago in the first place? What happened?"

"Uh… Nothing."

Lee sniffed the air. "Guys? Don't you think it's quite stinky in here?"


A/N:

Reason for writing this: I've become fascinated with the comedy-horror genre. In written form, that is; it's much scarier or more horrid or more twisted when seen from the mind's eye. I don't know, it might have to do with the concept: "You get to laugh at your fears." So, I thought I'd give it a try.