Title: Wait
Author: Tonya (tigerlily1998@hotmail.com)
Rating: PG (Be forewarned-- angst ahead!)
Disclaimer: No own, no sue.
Distribution: Just tell me where!!
Spoilers: None really. My own take on how things could have gone down during Season 4.

Summary: Wesley waits.

**********

He knelt by the edge of the bed, waiting.

They all blamed him. It had been a group decision, but he knew that they all blamed him. He had been the one with the knowledge, the background. They had finally put their trust in him-- in his decisions-- and he had betrayed them yet again.

Bringing Angelus out to fight the Beast had been the worst decision he had ever made, the worst horror he could have brought upon his friends' heads.

Wesley had actually believed that they could control the demon once they freed it of its soul. That they could actually reason with it. How naive he had been.

He knelt by the edge of the bed, waiting.

Angelus reveled in his new freedom, and it took him no time to free himself of his shackles and overpower both Gunn and Wesley. For a moment, Wesley believed this was it. This was how it was going to end. Not in an explosion. Not with a bullet to the gut. Not with a knife to his throat. But with his former friend and colleague literally ripping him in half. And for a second, Wesley welcomed the death.

But Angelus had other plans. He spared them for the moment, claiming he had more important business to attend to. But before he left into the night, he made a promise to Wesley-- "When I get back, we're gonna have some fun." He chuckled in a way that sent chills down Wesley's spine.

With Fred and Cordy sent away with Connor for their protection, Wesley was quite sure who Angelus wanted to pay a visit to.

He knelt by the edge of the bed, waiting.

Wesley walked into Wolfram and Hart, his feet echoing in the vast emptiness of the building. Deserted-- every desk, every corridor, every boardroom. The lawyers had went scattering into the night for the safety of their homes. Every office had been abandoned in the rush. Every office but hers.

Lilah sat perfectly poised in her chair, her hands placed gracefully in her lap. Her head laid tilted to the side, the soft curls of her hair draping over her face. From the doorway where he stood, his fingers tense on the crossbow, she looked asleep. Peaceful.

He warily stepped into the office, his senses heightened as his eyes darted to every corner of the room. Walking over to her, her name slipped by his lips. He wasn't even sure why he called to her. He knew that she wasn't going to answer but yet he still felt the need to say her name.

He slowly turned the chair towards him and knelt in front of her. Reaching up with a shaky hand, he brushed away the fallen hair, studying her face. His fingers brushed her skin, and he felt his heart cramp as the coolness traveled up his hand.

Hesitation kept his eyes focused on her face. On the mauve lipstick that smeared onto her cheeks. On the dark mascara that trailed from the corners of her eyes. On the welt across her cheek.

Wesley's fingers slowly traced down to Lilah's neck. The ragged gash by her jugular had turned her skin deep purple. His fingers slid over the sticky skin, and he pulled his hand away, balling his fist up tightly.

His breath caught in his throat as his stood. He finally tore his eyes away from her, and that's when he saw it. In the center of Lilah's desk, her legal pad was propped up against her phone, facing him. The words written in smooth cursive on the yellow paper deepened the rage within in--

Spunky girl. Must have been a good fuck.

"Damn you!" Wesley growled into the emptiness. He grabbed the notepad and flung it angrily across the room. He watched as it slammed into the far wall before falling to the carpet with a soft thud.

The fire of rage within him lit, his gaze turned back to her body. And the rage slowly simmered to despair….

He knelt by the edge of the bed, waiting.

He wasn't sure why he had did it. His gut had screamed at him again. Yelled for him to just be done with it. Place a stake through her chest. Cut off her head. Burn her remains. But he didn't listen. He couldn't listen.

He placed her limp body across his bed even as his instincts pleaded within him not to.

He brushed away her hair and sighed.

He had never hated and loved someone so much in his life. She had been an evil, manipulative, cold-hearted bitch, but in the end, she had been the only one who had cared for him. When his friends had turned away from him, she had been there. Even when he had returned to the fold, she still remained.

In her own twisted way, she had been his constant.

But now… Now, his friends had turned away from him again. Cursing him for ever coming up with the ingenious plan and cursing themselves for ever agreeing to it in the first place. The looks they had given him had said it all-- they wanted nothing more to do with him.

And he couldn't blame them.

He knelt by the edge of the bed, waiting.

Wesley glanced at the digital clock on his nightstand. Midnight.

Angelus would be coming for him soon.

Wesley turned his eyes back to Lilah. He couldn't help but wonder what she would be like when she awoke from her slumber. What affect would the demon have on her personality? Would she be the same woman-- just with the dark side of her personality heightened? What thoughts would run through her mind when her eyes set on him? Would she simply feed from him-- drain him of the little energy he had left? Or would she see the man she had known-- the possibility of an eternal companion?

Wesley held his breath as Lilah's eyes began to move beneath her pale eyelids. Her hand twitched at her side, brushing up against his.

Wesley knelt by the edge of the bed, waiting.