A/N: This takes place at what would have been 11x01, presuming that Kate was pregnant, did give birth, and her maternity leave ended sooner than JJ's did because she gave birth way before.
And she returned to the team. Obviously. AKA, my dream version of the show. But I do recognize how happy JLH was to take a year off to be with her kids so I don't begrudge her that.
Oh, and I unofficially decided on Kate having a daughter. Her name is Elizabeth, after Meg's mom, but since Kate called her sister Liz I decided she'd call her child something else for short and I decided on Betty since Jennifer Love Hewitt and Betty White are such good friends.
He was staring at her. She could tell, and her skin prickled.
"You could just ask, you know," she said teasingly and Derek Morgan jolted out of his daydreams.
"Ask what?" He wondered.
"Whatever question is bearing so heavily on your mind," she said.
He laughed, moving to swing a desk chair around backwards and straddle it. "We're a bit stuck on this case," he said, the words coming out in a tone of confession.
She moved her chair to face his a bit more. "Oh, I don't know, I think we're getting somewhere."
"Not fast enough, and it's damn hard being down a profiler," Derek sighed.
"I know," Kate said. "You'd think that we could all replace each other, to an extent, but it just doesn't work that way."
"And it never will," Derek said, suppressing a yawn. "Hotch is interviewing, though."
"Really?" Kate asked, her head jerking up in surprise.
"Yeah, they're all waiting outside," Derek said. "Didn't you see them lining up?"
"I've been stuck in here all day, are you kidding me?" Kate groused. "All I said was that Betty had given me a sleepless night and next thing I know, Hotch had me stuck in here all day."
"Oh, JJ wouldn't put up with that," Derek joked. "You can count on her diving back in head first when she gets back."
"I know," Kate said. "It makes me feel guilty."
"Don't," Derek said, reaching out to clasp her hand.
Kate looked up, her eyes meeting his in surprise. "What, Derek?"
"Don't feel guilty, you're working hard," Derek whispered. "Besides, after everything you went through back in May, you deserve a little time off."
"Yeah, but I'm supposed to be back right now," Kate said. "Mentally as well as physically. I chose to come back, Derek."
Derek nodded, pulling his hand back. "How is Betty?"
A shadow passed over Kate's face. "Betty...Betty is great," she said, emphasizing the words.
"What about Chris?"
Kate bit her lip. "You know, I almost want to say that I don't want to talk about it, but the funny thing is, I do. I've been dying for someone to notice these past few weeks."
"Notice what?" Derek asked.
"That the reason I've had so many sleepless nights...is because Chris left me," Kate said, exhaling heavily. "For legal reasons, we both officially adopted Meg instead of staying guardians forever. So...I wasn't handling the aftermath as well as I should have. He left, giving me the ultimatum: the BAU or him."
"How did Meg take that?" Derek asked, worried since he knew how fragile Meg was.
"I feel like Meg might agree with him," Kate whispered. "There's been distance between us...I thought if I spent enough time with her...if I tried harder...but I could never try hard enough."
Derek exhaled heavily, reaching to massage her shoulder. "That sucks," he said simply. "What's your arrangement been?"
"My mom came up from Texas," Kate said, leaning into Derek's strong hand. "She's been wanting to be closer to us for a while now and this just gave her an excuse. She...didn't get along with Chris's family."
"Okay," Derek said, processing this."And Chris..."
"He's about to file," Kate said. "And I know beyond a doubt that he will try to get Betty, if not Meg. The worst part is...I can see his point. I know that I haven't been available enough but it's like the more available I make myself, the worse it always gets. Meg is barely speaking to me and I just have no idea what to do."
"Oh, god, Kate," Derek breathed. "You...you know Meg better than anyone, don't you? I know you, you aren't one to give up. Ever."
"I want to agree with that description but I just can't anymore," Kate said. "Because it's not me."
There was utter silence in the round table room, before news came in that Morgan was needed.
He looked at Kate for one long soul searching moment. "I'm going to help you through this," he vowed, before hurrying away to put his Kevlar vest on.
Kate watched him leave with Reid.
She stood by as Hotch's current interviewee, Tara Lewis, made a very tough phone call. She smiled with Garcia when Hotch told her to send all of the other applicants away.
Garcia hurried up to her after that job had been done. "Are you feeling okay, Kate?" She wondered. "All throughout this case you've been moody and snappish whenever I talk to you and Kate, I have never known you to be moody. Not even when you were four months pregnant."
Kate laughed in spite of herself. "It's...can you trust me when I say that I will tell you? Just not now?"
Garcia's face softened. "Is it that hard?" She wondered. "Oh, chica, I'll trust you forever. But I won't stop bugging you, you know that, right?"
"I do," Kate said. "That's what I love about it."
Garcia smiled. "We don't keep secrets," she urged. "We just can't afford to anymore. Please, Kate, come to us if there's a problem."
She nodded, patted Garcia's hand and trudged to her desk, reluctantly getting her things together to go home. She perked up a bit at the thought of what would be waiting for her at home: her mother, Meg, and Betty.
Come on, she should be eagerly awaiting this. She should have been racing out the door.
Instead she found herself dragging her feet, and was startled when she got to the elevators and Derek was already back from disarming the bomb with Reid and Rossi.
"Hey," Kate greeted, voice soft.
"I need to give Hotch my report," Morgan said. "I...Kate...you could wait for me? I'll go home with you if you want."
"No, I mean, mom and Meg and Betty are there," Kate said, shoving her hands in her pockets. "We can talk more tomorrow."
"Don't do this," Morgan said, voice just as quiet. "Don't push me away after you let me in. We will take care of this, Agent Callahan."
She nodded, pressing her lips together tightly. "Okay. But tomorrow."
"Tomorrow," Morgan vowed, and clasped her hand again. Like earlier, it was just a gentle touch. But it made her feel more emotion than anything had in far too long.