A/N: Don't worry, this is my last Uriah/Agnes type fic for awhile because I think I've written enough on the topic already, haha. I just happened to find this one in my fanfic file and thought I'd go ahead and post it since I haven't posted much lately. Enjoy...or something.
Celestial and Otherwise
045. Moon.
"You ought to understand, that I believe Agnes Wickfield to be as far above you, and as far removed from all your aspirations, as that moon herself!"
Was she really, though? Uriah wasn't so sure about that.
How well that Copperfield thinks he knows her! Uriah sneered, even as he walked along at his side, the picture of humility. Copperfield liked to watch Miss Wickfield, to be sure, when he was bored, or in need of diversion, but Uriah had had eyes in his head for a while back, and had seen his Agnes when she wasn't smiling, in those brief but often moments, before she resumed her composure for her dear brother's benefit – her dear brother who forgot her the second he removed his eyes from her, whose suffering he could never appreciate or care for.
Could Copperfield, who had an aunt who gave him all she could (and who fought the world off him besides), understand the selfish love of her weak parent, the kind that poisoned a childhood until it was no childhood, and expected thanks and honor and selfless care, in return, for ever after? Uriah could. Could Copperfield understand, among his schoolmates and infinite admirers, the grief and guilt of her hours of loneliness, the deep suppression of every dark feeling in her heart, hidden lest she bring discomfort to another, and risk losing them, and everything she had worked for, altogether? Uriah could. And had Copperfield, with a new girl's name in his heart every alternate week, ever loved someone – even if it were an undeserving love – who did not love him back? Had he tried to change himself because of it, until at last he gave up the effort entirely; ever made himself sick, knowing no one else would ever compare? Agnes had, and Uriah had.
Indeed, if she had been in heaven, as that Copperfield supposed, and he in the lowest tiers of the earth, still, Uriah had recognized in her what he had felt himself and never dared own; which Copperfield, who professed to know her so well, had never known, and never would.
She is not so far removed as you would prefer to think, Copperfield. Sometimes, I believe, she is about as 'uman as I am.