It was just yet another sexy day in the shitty village of Konoha. Big fucking whoop, nigga. Chōchō Booquisha Akimichi was eating a 59 piece chicken McNugget, an X-tra large fry, and drinking four liters of Welch's grape juice. She was sitting at the computer desk as she was munching down on her food. Crumbs were landing into the keyboard and mouse cursor but the fat biracial girl didn't give a fuck. She was too busy chatting on Skype with Sarada's nerdy ass about recycling water bottles and taking pictures of seagulls at Myrtle Beach. Lil Wayne's first mixtape was playing in the background on a Fisher-Price boom box.
Suddenly, Chōchō felt a rumble in her fupa that travelled through her intestines to her brown anus. It travelled up her buttcrack and through her tu-tu lips causing them to flap wildly in the wind - similar to how a dog's jowls would flutter in the wind as it stuck its head out the window of a car that was travelling 82 mph. The fart sounded similar to a bubbling cauldron that the witch from Snow White most likely used to sterlize her thongs.
"Ewwwwwww, nigga! Did you fart?! XDDD" Sarada asked, giggling frantically like a bowl of apple sauce.
"Shut yo John Travolta lookin' ass up! Yeah, I farted. SO WHAT?!" Chōchō screamed louder than Tim Allen on casual fridays, and proceeded to sign off Skype.
She stared sexily at her desktop image which was of a swimming pool full of Totino's pizza rolls for a few seconds before releasing another shrill fart that sounded like Mariah Carey hitting a high note after ingesting helium from Fred's inflatable dildo. It was such a powerful fart that it stung her booty hole and burned a hole in her Power Rangers panties. "Thank God that I signed off before I released that one," Chōchō sighed in relief and smiled to herself.
"You stupid nigga! You only MINIMIZED the window!" Sarada exclaimed.
Chōchō quickly slapped the webcam around until it fell on the floor and began angrily stepping on it with her stank velociraptor feet. She promptly stood up and left her room and made her way towards her favorite room in the house - the kitchen. She was greeted by her mother's Ghirardelli chocolate complexion.
"Mama, can you make me some meatloaf and chitlins and turkey gizzards?"
"Sure thing, baby." Karui said, pulling the raw turkey necks out of the fridge with her bare hands. "Oh, yeah; I forgot to tell you. Your ugly ass cousin Little Bill is coming over to visit tomorrow afternoon, boo."
"WHAT!? Why?! I HATE that lil peanut headed nigga!"
Karui sighed. "Yeah, I know. I despise that buck-toothed little shithead, too. But, your aunt Brenda wants me to look after him while she goes to a swingers club with your uncle, baby boo boo."
"Why can't Alice the Great's ancient fossilized ass take care of him?!"
"Baby, you know that she's been in a nursing home called Shady Pines for nearly four years now after nearly overdosing on Cream of Wheat." said Karui in a tutti-fruti kinda way.
Chōchō sighed and trudged to the living room to see her father's mammoth sized ass sitting on a custom made recliner eating an extra large bag of Cheetos while watching the 20th season of Judge Judy. Suddenly, an episode ended and a commercial depicting global warming being caused by whales farting into the ozone layer appeared on the ashy screen. That was all Chōchō needed to see before she walked back to her room and slammed the door shut.
Tomorrow was TOTALLY going to suck donkey turds. Damn it all!