Two fics in one day? Whaaa….? Yeah, guys. During spring break, I did a whole lot of typing fanfictions, doing chemistry homework, and studying for my next physiology lab exam. One of them was a Twilight fic (The Long Game), but the rest were new DP fics. This is one of them. The other is… well, you'll see (will be posted sometime later this week) and a Phil x reader story (will be posted next week).

So. I'm back with another [angst] DP fic. When I looked up the English translation lyrics to this song, I immediately wanted this to be a story involving death. And since you guys tend to kill Phil for some odd reason, I wanted to switch it up and kill Dan. I'M SO SORRY, SEMPAI. *bows repeatedly* I understand why you guys kill Phil in your fanfics though. I mean, you kill Phil, and Dan will break down. Dan is already as sensitive as he is. This is my first non-romance Dan x Phil story, just so I can add to the phanfictions where Dan and Phil are just friends and one of them is dead.

In the darkness of a London flat, an invisible figure wanders through the lounge of his former home. He makes himself comfortable on the sofa, on the exact same place where his sofa crease used to be. Over time, since he left the world, the sofa crease disappeared until only a distant memory is left as a reminder of what his made-up term "sofa crease" used to be.

He had many great memories with his sofa crease. Many days and nights were spent browsing the internet on his laptop, eating meals, and falling asleep on that familiar spot. Nowadays, it isn't the same when he tries to sit on that spot. He has become a being he feared the most, and that in itself makes him hate the reason why he's like this, a literal shadow of his former existence.

"I would rather be part of the undead than be dead," he grumbles to himself. It's the same sentence he says every time he comes here, even though he knows no living human would be able to listen to his words.

He hears a scream. Startled, he gets up from the sofa and quickly heads over to the source of the noise. He passes through walls to arrive at the room where his best friend is sleeping, or rather moving restlessly on his bed.

"Phil!" He stands to the side of the bed and shakes Phil's shoulder. Unfortunately, the action causes his hands to pass through the older man's body. He yelps and jumps back so his body leans against the wall.

Fuck. He's still not used to being like this. His new form is way different than his human body.

"Dan," Phil whimpers.

"Don't worry, Philly. I'm here. I'm here." Invisible tears brim on the younger man's face. The hardest part of coming here is when Dan watches Phil have his nightmares. He doesn't know what the nightmares are about, although he has a hunch that it involves what happened that night, two months ago, when the great deity of above made the shitty decision to take him away from the world.

Phil gasps, opening his eyes. His body is covered with a light sheen of sweat. "Damn."

Dan doesn't speak. He just stands there and watch. He knows what happens next. Phil will go to the kitchen, drink a glass of orange juice (being lactose intolerant can be a curse), and go back to bed.

But he doesn't. Instead, Phil gets up and goes to the light switch, illuminating the room with bright light. Dan watches as Phil goes to the large drawer adjacent to his bed and grabs what appears to be a mushroom.

The stress mushroom. Or the tattered remains from it after he and Phil played tug-of-war with it for PINOF 7. He never understood why Phil chose to keep the stress toy. The item lost all function for being used as a stress toy.

"We had great memories with this thing," Phil whispers. "Still one of the most dumbest things I ever bought."

"It is the dumbest thing you ever bought!" Dan responds, a bittersweet tear falling down his cheek. "More so than that gigantic portable air conditioner."

Phil stares at the toy with sad eyes. "I should throw it out…"

"No!" No matter how idiotic Dan thinks the toy is, the toy symbolizes their friendship. PINOF represents how their friendship became a thing for the internet to enjoy. If Phil throws it out, it would be like throwing away a piece of their friendship.

Phil shakes his head. "Nah." He places the toy back on the drawer's top surface. "Dan wouldn't want that."

Dan's mouth curves into a small smile. Phil still knows him well.

Phil turns away from the drawer and sits on his bed, facing where Dan is. He looks up and their eyes meet. For a mere second, Dan swears Phil knows he's in the room. But the rational part of his mind knows he can't. His ghostly abilities hasn't advanced enough for him to appear visible for human eyes yet.

"I miss you, Dan," Phil says, his voice shaky. "Out of all the near-death experiences you've had, why did this one have to be the one that actually makes you dead?"

"I don't know." Dan laughs bitterly. "God wouldn't tell me."

Phil raises his knees and buries his head at the top of his kneecaps. "This sucks."

"Tell me about it." Dan moves away from the wall and sits beside Phil.

"When I said that the fans should stop killing me in their fanfictions, I didn't mean it literally."

Dan chuckles, remembering the times when he and Phil would browse through Tumblr and read random Dan and Phil fanfictions their fans post. He remembers Phil groaning at how the fans seemed to find more inspiration of killing Phil than Dan.

"Death is inevitable." Unfortunately, the inevitability of Dan's death occurred way sooner than he was ready for.

Phil flops back onto his bed, maneuvering his body back under his colorful checkered blanket. "Wherever you are Dan, I hope the alpacas are treating you well." Tears brim in the older man's eyes. "Good night."

Dan lets out a shaky breath. He stays at his spot for a few more minutes, waiting for Phil to fall back asleep. When his steady breathing indicates he's unconscious, Dan decides to leave the room, but not without whispering one more thing back to Phil.

"Good night."

~:~

Time passes. As the world keeps tilting on its axis, so does Phil's life. Acting like his guardian angel, Dan continues making his nightly check-ups. He needs to make sure his best friend is doing fine, healing scar after emotional scar he unwillingly left behind. Dan doesn't wish for Phil to reenact tragic stories where someone commits suicide when he or she couldn't handle the loss of a loved one. He reads the fanfiction. He knows Phil could be capable of doing that.

Phil doesn't, and Dan wants it to stay that way.

Fourteen months has passed since the accident. Phil still makes his YouTube videos, even continuing Phil is Not on Fire so it would serve as a tradition that would never make the fans forget about Dan. For the first year without Dan, he had Tyler Oakley fill in for Dan. For Dan, it was an amusing sight to watch the young blonde-haired male having cat whiskers drawn on his face and participating in Q&A. The fans knew Phil is not on Fire would never be the same without Dan, though they still enjoyed the humor.

But PINOF isn't why Dan is at the flat tonight. No, he's here because Phil has reached a milestone that he was concerned would never happen when he was alive.

Phil is asleep. A small smile stretches on Dan's face at the scene before him. For the first time in many years, a female is asleep next to Phil. A female who is very much naked as Phil is. He didn't want to want to be a crazy pervert, so Dan wavered outside the apartment building while she and Phil did their thing. By the time he returned, they were cuddling under the blanket and falling asleep in each other's arms.

Finally. A woman has captured Phil's heart and is filling the romance void that Dan worried would never be filled. As much as he loves Phan, he could never view Phil as more as his best friend. But if he was homosexual, he wouldn't mind going after Phil. Phil is that important to him that he could have seen him as a potential significant other. If only Phil was a woman for that scenario to be possible.

Dan approves of this woman. She's a huge fan of him and Phil. She learned to love Phil beyond his YouTube personality. When they met, Dan knew she'd be the woman that would become Phil's future girlfriend. His instincts told him that there's something about her that makes her perfect for Phil. She was able to make Phil smile and laugh more since his death. She accepted Phil's flaws and, just a few days ago, agreed to move in with him.

As their light snores fill the room, Dan leaves and heads into his room. Since his death, Phil has left his room the way it was. The bed, the piano, the drawers, his things, everything. Nothing was moved. Nothing was given away. In some way, his room is a memorial for Phil. The only difference is the miniature shrine in the right corner: a box labeled with Dan's name and the words "Internet Cult Leader" on the front written with a sharpie, as well as several coins lying atop the box. Before Phil's girlfriend became his girlfriend, she once mentioned about a superstition about leaving coins next to a door, which symbolizes luck for the future. Phil found it odd, but decided to make use of the superstition by incorporating it into his shrine for Dan. Knowing Dan feared the supernatural, he thought that the coins would be a way to tease Dan. Every month, he'd leave a coin on the box.

"It was either flowers or coins," Phil had said while making the shrine. "But coins don't rot, so these will do."

Dan kneels at the shrine and grabs one of the coins. His ghostly form now allow him to lift man-made objects. He found it a relief since he's able to play video games on his 3DS during his nightly visits.

Coin in hand, he stands and heads back to Phil's room. He places the coin at the far edge of the bed where their feet are.

It's about time Phil finds a clue to figure out that Dan is around, looking out for him.

"Good night, Phil," he whispers before exiting the room and the flat altogether, completing another visit.

~:~

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

There are joyful tears in Dan's eyes as he witnesses Phil and his girlfriend (now wife) kiss under the altar at the church he remembers Phil telling him he'd want to someday get married at. He sits at an empty spot on a seat near the back of the church.

Another milestone. Marriage. Things are gradually going uphill for Phil.

Dan floats away from his seat until he's near the entrance of the church. With all the strength he can muster, he closes his eyes and wills his body to change form. His physical form. The form that'll make Phil (and only Phil) feel mindblowned. His ghostly abilities now allow him to change from physical to invisible form, to be viewed by one human at a time.

When the two lovebirds pull away, Phil makes eye contact with the audience. Dan knows Phil has seen him when Phil's blue eyes grow from bliss to brief shock.

Dan grins, waving then pressing his finger to his lips.

Phil nods, smiling back. He too has tears in his eyes.

"Hey Phil?" his wife asks.

"Yes?"

"I bet Dan's here watching."

Phil lets out a shaky laugh. "If he is, I'm truly the happiest man on earth."

"You should be," Dan says, even though he knows Phil can't hear him.

"Wherever he is, I hope he knows just how much I love you."

"I do." Her love for Phil is apparent all the time. She doesn't need to say the three words for Dan to know that.

He shifts back to his invisible form. This is it. This is the inevitable moment he dreaded to face. He made the decision since Phil proposed to his girlfriend.

Phil doesn't need Dan to watch over him anymore. Phil is happy. Phil's life is back on track. The nightmares come back from time to time, but with her around, she's able to comfort him after every nightmare. The nightmares are kept at bay as long as she's there.

Phil has someone. He isn't alone anymore. Dan knows Phil will never forget him, but it's time to move on. He must step away from the real world and allow Phil to continue living.

A tear falls from his cheek. "Goodbye Phil." The happy couple walks down the aisle. He stands aside to give them room. He notices Phil's eyes looking left to right. Phil's probably looking for him, wondering if he actually saw Dan or if it was a figment of his imagination.

When they exit the church, Dan follows.

"Thank you for letting me be your best friend. This is the most fun I've ever had." These are the last words Dan whispers to Phil before he leaves.

For good.

~:~

Several more years pass. A forty-year-old man, his wife, and a boy walk up a hill. The man has a coin in the back pocket of his slacks. The woman is holding a bouquet of flowers. The little boy, who has black hair and brown eyes, is a few feet ahead, running while holding a stuffed llama toy.

"Hurry up daddy!" the boy shouts, reaching the top of the hill.

"Slow down, Daniel," the woman calls out. She and the man reach the top and join the boy, who is sitting down in front of a stone cross, the plaque of a grave at his feet.

"Hi uncle Danny!" The boy stands and runs back to the man and woman. "Mommy and daddy are here!"

"Yes we are, the man says. " The three walk closer to the grave. "Hi Dan."

"Daddy gave me the same name as you." Daniel grins, then tugs on the woman's skirt. "Can I give uncle Danny the flowers?"

"Of course, sweetie." The woman crouches and carefully hands the bouquet to Daniel.

"Thank you mommy!" Daniel drops the bouquet in front of the cross.

The man snakes his arm around the woman's waist. "Daniel's just like Dan, isn't he?"

The woman nods. "Minus the hair and his last name, Daniel could be a spitting image of young Dan."

Daniel reads the plaque. "Daniel James Howell. Hi! I'm Daniel James Howell Lester."

"Daniel James is his first name. Howell is his middle name," the man explains. "If I had it my way, I would have gone with my first choice: Phillip Michael Lester Jr."

The woman lightly slaps the man's behind. "If you did, you would have gone to hell." She leans her head against his shoulder. "Even though I've never met you in person, you've changed my life. To this day I'm still saddened by your death, although if things happened differently, I probably would have never met Phil. I would never have married him and have our little Daniel."

Phil sighs. "I can never forget you, Dan. We named our son after you as a reminder that you are never far away from our hearts."

Daniel skips back to his parents. "Mommy, daddy, what's heaven like?"

"I don't know," Phil answers sheepishly. "Although I'm still betting llamas exist there."

"What about lions?" Lions are Daniel's favorite animal.

"That too."

The woman laughs. "Let's stop with this death talk. If Dan heard you, he'd be running to the hallway and having an existential crisis." The flat holds many memories for she and Phil, so they never moved out of the building. Dan's room, however, was converted into Daniel's bedroom when he was born.

Daniel's brown eyes stare up at Phil in confusion. "What's an existential crisis?"

Phil chuckles. "I'll tell you later." He recalls the first time he witnessed Dan having an existential crisis, law papers cradled in his arms, mumbling sentence after sentence about wanting to give up.

Behind a tree not too far from the family, an apparition watches the trio. He's still frozen in his 20's and wearing the same clothes since his death.

"Good luck with that," the apparition says, stifling a laugh. "If he's lying facedown in that hallway ten years from now, don't be surprised."

Dan couldn't resist returning to the real world today. He wanted to see Phil's son. He hasn't seen Phil and his wife since the wedding. It was tempting for him to watch their son being born, but he couldn't break his vow. Until now.

He hopes Daniel will grow up to be a wonderful man. Daniel has a whole life ahead of him. Daniel is starting grade school soon. He's bracing himself for the first existential crisis that may hit the young boy once he starts meeting people that will test the boundaries of his innocent bubble.

The Lesters spend another half-hour at Dan's grave. When it's time to go, Dan walks away from his hiding spot. He stands on the plaque of his grave.

"Nice seeing you again, Phil." He glances at his wife and son, saying their names too.

"Bye uncle Danny." Daniel blows a kiss to the grave. "We'll be back."

"Soon," the woman adds.

"Which reminds me." Phil takes out the coin. He adds it to the small pile of coins on the left corner of the plaque. "Another coin to haunt you. It's fake, like all the others. Don't want any burglars to come by in the middle of the night and loot your grave."

"No burglars will want to mess with Dan." The woman looks at Daniel. "Do you want to buy some candy?"

"Yes!"

"What kind?"

Dan knows the answer before Daniel says it. "Malteasers!"

Phil grins. "He really is like Dan."

"If he procrastinates like me too, then I swear to god, law will torture him as much as it did me," Dan jokes.

When the family leaves, Dan waves at them. He could have showed himself to them like he did at the wedding, but that would have ruined the moment. He wouldn't want to scar Daniel and be the reason for his first existential crisis.

"Bye guys," Dan whispers.

This won't be the last time he'll see them.

Fuck his promise.

He'll always be their guardian angel.

Whew! First death-related Dan and Phil fic. I haven't written a death fic in a long time (the last one I did is a Twilight one called Always Remember that I wrote in middle school). I'm a bit rusty. I hope you still enjoyed. I'd laugh if Phil still kept that damn stress mushroom. I have my own stress toy. In a form of a green blob made out of two balloons and rice that looks like an alien. I made it in high school for my Cooperative Education class for senior year. It's broken now, though I haven't thrown it away yet. I tell myself to stop procrastinating, but I still do.

Phil's unnamed wife is unnamed for a reason. You can imagine she's you, the reader. If I gave her a name, I think I would've ruined the immersion of the story.

God, aka the great deity of above, please don't make the fanfictions come true and kill DP. I'll be in eternal rage mode if you do.

Until next time.

~ AA