Prologue
I don't know when it started. I don't know what caused it. Maybe it was you're russet hair that's so soft to the touch. Your fun-loving personality that can brighten a gloom, almost tangible to the senses, affecting everyone around you making them smile and lighten the loads of their worry even for just a moment. Your genuine concern every time a loved one would display downcast eyes. Or maybe it was your eyes. Those brown soulful eyes that can penetrate through my defenses. I could get lose in those eyes. It always leaves a tingling warmth in my heart that would spread through my head leaving me lightheaded, down to my knees making them buckle slightly.
I laughed at myself. I'm such a simpleton.
At first, I passed it off as discomfort and caution to a stranger. Then it started to plague my mind. Those brief contacts of uncovered skin would generate electric currents that would ripple throughout my whole body. And that boyish grin. So full of mischief. It would leave me giddy and breathless seeking for more. I finally acknowledged my infatuation thinking it will fade in due time.
It didn't.
It grew into something more profound and the next thing I know I'm jumping at every opportunity to have you alone and in close proximity. I often caught myself craving for you. Your very essence ingrained in my memory. The coolness of your skin, the firmness of your lips. In my delusions, you'll look me in the eyes with so much love and tenderness and whisper promises sweet and genuine in my ears. You would always seal your promises with a kiss. Always. And I would reciprocate them with equal vigor. You're mine and I'm yours.
But you're not.
It frightened me. My emotions running so rampant. I resolved myself to stay away. Perhaps, limited contact would turn things to normal. It worsened. The urge to see you has become severe and herculean effort has to be exerted. I feel like a fool, longing for a love that's meant for another. Most days I feel like my heart is being squeezed by a fist. Tears would prick my eyes. I refuse to cry in front of anyone. So, I lock myself in the safety of my room and just... let it go. I would sob and scream and my pillows would dampen the sound of my misery. I just want to confess and pour my heart out to you. I'm scared of the repercussions. Scared of your reaction. Your facial structures warping to that of disgust. And Anna. What would Anna say?
Why? Why does it have to be you, Jack?
Why couldn't I have fallen for someone else?
I love you. I love you so much. I wish I was the one who got to you first.
Everytime I see you with her, looking at her with those eyes so full of love and affection, I wanted to scream, to destroy something, anything! After the jealousy, comes the pain. I know she's the only one who can coax that persona out of you. And it hurts. It hurts so much knowing that I can never be her.All I can do right now is to suffer silently. I can't let you go. Maybe someday I'll find my peace. And we can all be happy.
AN: The continuation of this story will depend on how much hate it will receive. So bring on the hate!