Chapter 1
It was the last day of tour for Canadian twin superstars Tegan and Sara. Both girls were relieved to only have one more show left as this tour was particularly long and gruelling.
"I'm sleeping for a week after we're done tonight….and I'm getting 10 massages. Kinda doesn't feel real does it? Last show of the tour, probably of the album cycle" said Sara standing over her open suitcase in their modern tour bus trying to finish packing a few hours before the start of the final show of the tour. "Hey T, get up man, I don't want to spend more time in this bus than I need to… Tegan!" Sara said and threw some balled up socks at Tegan who was lying in her bunk groggily staring at Sara working. "Ugh, this cold is making me feel every kind of crap, I just can't seem to shake it" complained Tegan. "I really just want to take a nap, I'll pack the rest of my stuff later" she continued. "I'll pack it for you" chimed Lindsey as she stuck her head around the corner of the bathroom; she jumped over to Tegan's bunk and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. "You don't have to do that babe" said Tegan. "I know, you've had a hectic few months and you're feeling crappy! I want to do it for you" said Lindsey staring into Tegan's eyes. "Get some rest, you look like you need it…." she kissed her on her cheek. "You're still so beautiful though" She giggled like a schoolgirl. "I've missed you" cooed Lindsey, she was so in love she couldn't think straight. "I've missed you more my angel" sighed Tegan, she and Lindsey haven't seen each other for about three weeks as Lindsey was working on the East Coast while Tegan and Sara were touring the West Coast. Tegan was happy to finally be back in her second home, Los Angeles with the love of her life, her partner for the last 5 years, Lindsey. "Get a room" said Sara slightly annoyed but good natured. She loved Lindsey like a sister, her annoyance was but mostly due to the fact that she herself longed to have the kind of relationship Tegan and Lindsey had at the moment, Sara was very much single and coming out of a 2 year relationship that ended a few months ago. "Well if you insist... thank you sweetie! I'm just going to close my eyes for a few minutes – 20 at most okay, wake me". Tegan coughed weakly while closing her bunk curtains. Sara and Lindsey finished packing in silence and sat in the living room area of the bus. They decided to let Tegan sleep a bit longer than she asked Sara was reading and Lindsey editing photos from her latest shoot. "She's been down for about 90 minutes, do you think I should wake her up" asked Lindsey. "Yeah, she never naps during the day; this is just going to make her moody" said Sara
Lindsey walked over to Tegan's bunk and pulled the curtain open, she was slightly taken aback to see Tegan breathing quite heavily and looking pale, still sleeping, curled up into the foetal position. "Sweetie… Tegan… wake up" Tegan didn't respond "Tegan!" Lindsey said a bit louder while shaking her shoulder lightly "time to wake up baby". Tegan started to stir, eyes still closed. A whimpering sound escaped her mouth. "Baby, are you OKAY?" asked Lindsey concerned. After a bit more coaxing Tegan open her eyes, they were quite bloodshot and slightly puffy. "I really just want to sleep some more…." she said sounding drowsy. Sara walked into the sleeping area holding a cup tea. "hey, I've made you some strong, sweet tea. That should make you feel a bit better? We have a radio interview in half an hour". Tegan was a firm believer that a cup of English breakfast tea could cure a multitude of ailments. "Thanks Sar" said Tegan. Lindsey helped a still groggy Tegan out of her bunk and into the living area. She plonked down onto the couch and sighed "I feel like crap guys, my head may explode any second now". Lindsey took a seat behind Tegan and put her legs around her hips. She kissed her neck lightly and started to rub her neck and shoulders. "Jeez T, you're so tense". Tegan took a few sips of her tea but left the rest when she started feeling slightly nauseous. Tegan enjoyed the shoulder massage and sat with her eyes closed when her phone started ringing disturbing her blissful moment. MOM it showed on the screen. "hey mom!" said Tegan. "Hiiii Tegan!" said her mom in an animated way, it was their thing! "How're you doing mom?" asked Tegan. "I'm really good honey, how are you? Are you feeling a bit better today?" asked Sonia. "I'm okay I guess, just having some trouble shaking this bloody cold" grumbled Tegan. "Ahhh my baby I'm sorry, I can hear it in your voice! Drink some ginger tea and honey" advised Sonia. "Aagh it's nothing, excited to be done with the tour though, I'm exhausted after that, we're getting old" chuckled Tegan. "If you're getting old how must I feel" Sonia protested. Tegan and Sonia continued their conversation for a while. "Mom I've gotta go, we've got a radio interview in 10 minutes" said Tegan sounding tired. "Okay sweetie, good luck! Tell Sara I'll phone her this afternoon" said Sonia. "Okay mom", "Feel better soon, I love you Tegan" said Sonia "love you too mom, and I miss you, gosh I miss you…"
5 Hours later, Tegan stood side stage feeling like she's been hit by a truck. She couldn't understand how this cold could get so bad so suddenly. She started feeling a lot worse during the radio interview. She was very thankful that it wasn't a television interview since she looked like crap! She needed to excuse herself twice to go throw up and since then the nausea hasn't stopped. Sara did a fantastic job with the radio interview and Tegan was sure nobody even missed her. Her head was pounding, her muscles aching and she felt a bit short of breath. She swallowed two aspirins and hoped for the best. She hasn't eaten anything that day except for a few slices of melon and some yogurt in the morning. Everything she put in her mouth came out almost immediately, drinks included. Sara looked over at Tegan with a worried expression on her face. She's never seen Tegan like this. Earlier that day they had a long discussion on whether or not to cancel tonight's show. Tegan felt that it was too short notice and she didn't want to let the fans down, she said she was fine and she would just tone it down a bit during the show. Sara agreed, thinking that she would probably just have to do a bit more work than Tegan but now, looking at her twin sister, pale with sweat beads forming on her forehead she knew that they had made the wrong decision. "Tegan, we should cancel, you look like shit" said Sara worried. "Wow, thanks Sara" said Tegan with a hint of a giggle in her voice. Tegan always had a fantastic sense of humour and it shone through, even in difficult times. "Listen, we're not cancelling, I'm fine okay. The set-list is mostly you anyway. I'll be okay, really!" said Tegan. Lindsey was already in the photographer's pit taking photos of the support act for the night. Tegan felt her legs buckle a bit and she sat down on a large black drum case standing against a wall holding her head in her hands. She sat like that for a few minutes when a wave of nausea suddenly hit her like a baseball bat and she started running towards the ladies room. Sara quickly followed her "Tegan, Tee are you okay?" she asked desperately. Tegan knew she wouldn't make it to the toilet and turned to throw up into a large rubbish bin backstage. Her whole body was shaking. Sara held her hair out of her face with one hand and tried to rub the spasms out of Tegan's back in vain. "It's okay, it's okay let it out" said Sara. Tegan coughed and sputtered, she could feel the vomit burn her throat and her airway "Water…. Water" she wheezed. Ted, the band's long time guitarist and close friend of the girls came running over with some bottled water. "You okay Tee?" he asked genuinely concerned. Tegan stood with her head on her forearm leaning on the wheelie bin. "Fuck!" "Come on T, let's get you cleaned up" said Sara, the worry rising in her voice again. "Gimme a minute" whispered Tegan just before another round of violent heaves followed. There was nothing left in her stomach but her stomach and throat spasmed none the less, leaving her feeling exhausted. Ted handed her a hanky and she blew her nose feeling the vomit burn her nose. Sara put her arm around Tegan's waist to support her while Tegan held on to Sara's shoulder. She led her to the change room and took a wet cloth to wipe her face while Tegan weakly brushed her teeth and rinsed a few times. "Tegan, let's cancel… you're really sick and" Tegan cut Sara off mid-sentence "I feel much better now – let's just get this over with. I'm fine" she protested. Sara took Tegan's face in her hands and looked into her eyes. She did seem a bit better after that violent vomiting session, her face felt a bit warm. "Are you sure? We've got insurance against this stuff you know. It's not a big deal." asked Sara with apprehension in her voice. "I'm sure!" confirmed Tegan "Last show" she said smiling as best she could. "Quin for the win!"
Tegan sat on the couch with her head back and her eyes closed trying to compose herself in the 5 minutes they had before the show time. She breathed through her nose and out through her mouth. Miraculously her blocked nose seemed to have cleared but it felt as if a huge weight was pushing down on her lungs. She tried to cough up the mucus in an attempt to breathe better. The coughing session turned quite violent and she was relieved that she was the only person in the dressing room as they surely wouldn't let her on stage after that spectacle. Sara was outside going through the new set list with the band. "Okay Tegan, you can do this – one more, let's go" she chanted to herself trying to will herself onto her feet.