Hello friends! Here's a little somethin' somethin' for a reader who requested it! I know it doesn't exactly go along with what they asked perfectly, but hey, it was sure fun to write.
Based (very) loosely off of Half a Heart by One Direction.
It didn't used to bother him. Go back about three years ago and he would be fine. But now, mornings just weren't the same. He could make up reasons, say that he just wasn't going to sleep early enough, that he was having weird dreams, that he was waking up in the middle of the night and his mind just couldn't rest.
If he did that, though, he'd be lying. Those things just wouldn't do it because they weren't true, they weren't why. With a sigh, Alek sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bed. He felt cold every morning and it wasn't from the lack of clothes. He couldn't help it, he glanced behind him and to the other side of the bed. Where it was empty. It's not like that was a surprise. It had been for nearly a month now. But every morning, he couldn't help but wake up and hope that a certain blonde girl was laying there. He smiled at the thought of her.
"When are you going to talk to her?" Alek spun forward, facing his - minus Chloe - closest friend. He gave her a glare for sneaking up on him.
"What are you talking about?" He asked, but it came out mumbled due to only just waking up. Jasmine laughed stiffly, shaking her head.
"Chloe. When are you going to talk to Chloe?" He gave her a glance, one crossing between pain and a look that told her she was crazy. He shook his head, that being his reply. He got up and walked to his closet, finding a semi-clean shirt before throwing it over his head. Jasmine kept talking, but over the years, he's learned to block her out when she said things he didn't want to here.
He was doing well, making his way out the door and heading towards the bathroom. Until Jasmine said something that made him spin around quickly.
"She isn't sleeping alone, you know." His heart dropped to his stomach, but then he saw her face. She looked like she was up to something. Or maybe knew something he didn't. He swallowed thickly before looking away from her gaze.
"Good for her." He said simply before continuing to walk. He heard her give a dramatic sigh and then a hand was on his shoulder. Then he was shoved against the wall. "What the hell?" He shouted at her, rolling his shoulder. The girl packed a push.
"She sleeps with your hoodie, the one she stole from you when you moved in together, every single night. Meanwhile crying herself to sleep." She said the last part with a bite, like she blamed him for Chloe's crying. Which she had every right to. Alek smiled slightly, thinking of Chloe wrapped up in his sweatshirt. Even after what happened. And there went the smile. It was his fault.
Everything was.
Not more than a month ago, Alek found himself holding Chloe back from a scene that even had his heart aching. Her mother's house was up in flames, two firetrucks parked out front, water spraying everywhere. It didn't help though, the deed was done. A medical examiner's car was sitting feet away from them. A gurney was being pushed by two people, long black body bag sitting on it.
Meredith King was gone. And her daughter was collapsing onto the ground, Alek barely being able to hold her up. Her sobs and cries could be heard for miles and Alek wasn't really sure what to do, he could only hold her, tell her how much he loved her and how sorry he truly was.
Not very much of a reason to get mad, no, but that's not why she got upset with him. It was that he held her back when she wanted to save her mom. He couldn't let her go into that house while the flames were taking it down, maybe even giving a life up. Or all of them. It was selfish, that he was very much aware of, but he just couldn't let her do that. Now he knows it was probably the worst mistake he could have made.
"I could have saved her, Alek! You - you prevented that!" She was screaming, the tears streaming down her pink cheeks. It was two days after she had lost the only mother she ever had and there hadn't been a single second that she wasn't crying. His whole chest caved in at her saying these words because it was true, she probably could have saved her. He stayed silent and looked up, to the side, anywhere but at her face. They were standing in their living room, the one that they shared.
Only a few months ago did they finally move in together, but it was something that just fell so naturally. Chloe had been staying with Alek for most of the last year or so in apartment 18.03 with Jasmine, who was leader of the San Fran pride after that night. The one that killed Valentina and costed Chloe a life. It was a span of only about a week that everything happened, so quickly Alek swore it all felt like a dream. Chloe was down to 5 lives by that time due to Olivia Rezza and it ended there. The war between races was over, done with.
Alek always feared that there would be some rogue people left, but Whitley and Olivia were dead, Brian went off back to college, and there hadn't been a single word since. It was a few months later when Jasmine and Chloe both told Alek the truth, about his biological family. He'd done the Alek-like thing and stormed out, coming back a few hours later to find a worried Chloe and knowing Jasmine.
That night was something he'd never forget. Chloe and him became closer than he thought would ever be possible, in the most undoubtedly beautiful way. Contrary to popular belief - mostly from the school they attended - Alek gave himself to Chloe, just like she did him and there wasn't a single thing he would change about that.
After Chloe and him both graduated and Chloe was ready to leave the hands of her mom, she decided to get her own small place, right in Marina. College wasn't something either of them were interested in. The days were commonly spent at her apartment, but at night, they seemed to always go back to the penthouse. Give or take a few months and Alek was moving in with the love of his life.
Where all that love and wonderful life went, he had no clue. Now he couldn't do anything other than look at Jasmine who was still waiting for a response on Chloe's little secret. He sighed.
"So I'm going to assume that you told her I'm not doing much better?" He said truthfully. He sank to the floor, back against the wall. Jasmine sat down next to him.
"No." She shrugged. "I'm not supposed to know. Since she refuses to let you watch her, it's either me or Garreth put on duty and the few times I've been there, I've noticed." Alek just nodded.
His thoughts were elsewhere as he was lost back in that night, the night that brought him to where he was now.
He couldn't reply to what Chloe was saying. He really couldn't. He let her yell and scream, and she even threw a few punches. But he couldn't say anything, because she didn't want him to. She just wanted a time machine to go back and change things.
Sure, Alek may be this cocky tough guy, but Chloe was the only thing that could make him feel any different. Doubt himself. Do drastic or irrational things. And in that moment he couldn't help but think that maybe she would be a lot better off without him around.
"I don't get it. I really don't." She wasn't yelling anymore. Just mumbling things, some things that were too low for Alek to hear. She was sitting on the couch, head between her hands. He saw the sobs that were falling through her body and he fought the urge to go and put his arms around her, tell her everything would be alright.
He figured she blamed him, and she had every right to, so she wouldn't want him to act like everything was okay. But then again, even if she did blame him, she needed someone. She needed someone to make her feel okay again. So he tried. He sat beside her, she stayed still. His hand reached over and landed on her shoulder. She didn't really react to it, so he thought that was a good sign.
He moved closer, hoping to be able to pull her into him, but that was when things fell apart. She screamed. Literally screamed right into his ear, so loud he flinched, and stood up. When he looked up at her, he figured he'd see a distraught and torn Chloe, but now, she just looked angry. Frustrated. Pissed off And it was all because of him.
That much he knew by her yelling that started up again, "I want you out! I can't look at you for another second without thinking that, if not for you, my mom would still be here right now!" It was that last thing that had Alek almost pleading with her.
"Chloe, I can't just leave you. Especially not like this." He stood up, walking the distance to meet her, but she threw her hands in the air. Her eyes were in a fiery glare all for him and he felt his stomach start to rise into his throat. She hated him. She really did.
"You can and you will. Now." She crossed her arms over her chest, stared at him until he felt like a puppy that just used the carpeted floor as a bathroom. He felt the sting in his eyes and refused, pushed with all he could that the tears would not come out. It didn't last long though and before he could do anything else, he practically ran out the door and into the bitter air of San Francisco at night. He wrapped the jacket around himself, hoping he could make it to his old home before making an utter fool of himself in public.
By the time he made it there, his face felt frozen and Jasmine didn't question him as he walked past her and into his old room.
That had been nearly 4 weeks ago but it still felt like last night. He felt sick every time he pictured Chloe's face, the way her mouth was pinned shut, eyes narrowed into one of the toughest glares he'd ever seen.
Almost three years of being together and now it seemed like Alek would never have Chloe again. He looked over at Jasmine who was letting him think, staring at the white wall across from the two of them.
"What can I do?" His question made Jasmine look at over. She just looked at him. "Jasmine, you really aren't helping." He told her and went to stand up, but her hand caught his ankle. He looked down at her.
"I don't know," she replied truthfully. She met his gaze and Alek swallowed, giving a short nod. She let go of his leg and he walked to the bathroom, getting ready for the day.
An hour later he was walking towards the kitchen and nearly tripped over his own feet. His whole body fell stiff as he laid his eyes on the girl he'd been missing for what felt like forever.
"Chloe," he murmured, almost not loud enough for her to hear. But she did. With a small gasp, her eyes met his and he wanted to go over and pull her to him, tell her how much he loved her, how sorry he was. Oh God, when did I become such a girl?
She stayed silent, not giving anything away even with a facial expression. He walked closer to her, feeling 6 inches tall rather than 6 feet, and stood within arms distance from her. He could reach out and grab her if he wanted, if she'd let him.
"What are you doing here?" He asked slowly, as if he wasn't sure she was really there in front of him. She opened her mouth, licking her lips quickly before shutting it again. He just stared at her, waiting for an answer. It took her minutes to finally speak.
"Jasmine called, told me she had to talk to me, but. . ." Chloe waved her right arm around slightly, and Alek nodded. He hadn't seen Jasmine since early and by the lack of heartbeat, she wasn't there anymore. The corner of Alek's lips twitched as he realized Jasmine had set them up.
"Obviously she had other intentions," he shrugged, trying not to show how he felt on the situation. If he weren't trying to act to subtle, he'd be thanking Jasmine aloud even with her already gone and smiling like an idiot.
"Yeaaaah," Chloe dragged out, looking away from Alek. Her lips were pursed and she shifted from one foot to the other. Alek knew she wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible. He couldn't let that happen, not when he had the perfect chance to try and fix things.
"So, uh, how are things? The apartment?" Alek took a seat on one of the stools, hoping Chloe would do the same. He wasn't that lucky.
"Good, good." She said quickly, shaking her head like she were pulling herself from some kind of trance. "I should go."
And then she was walking away, taking all of the hope Alek had with her. But no, that couldn't happen. The situation needed to change and it needed to change quickly. Alek was up and at Chloe's side before he could change his mind and he had his hand on her upper arm, making her stop before she could reach the doorway.
She spun around, facing him with a look Alek couldn't describe. She didn't pull away like she did that night, she didn't scream at him, just let him hold her arm. When she didn't separate from him, he took his chance. He wrapped his arms around her so tight he thought she might break in his arms. Her own arms circled around his waist, holding herself to him just as hard. He gave a shattered breath into her hair and pressed his lips to her neck.
"I'm so sorry, Chloe. So, so sorry." He couldn't stop whispering the same thing over and over again like she hadn't heard him the first five-hundred times. She pulled away suddenly, breaking the hold they had and Alek's face dropped completely. She looked at him, eyes wavering, blinking too many times to count.
"I can't do this, Alek. I - I jus-" Chloe's voice broke, a sob being released from her body. Her hand flew to her mouth and she backed up, trying to get to the door. Alek lurched forward, grabbing ahold of her with both arms, encircling her middle. He wasn't thinking straight because the second he did that, they both crashed to the floor. Alek forced his arms in front of him, catching himself before he put all of his weight onto Chloe. During the fall, she had turned around and was now on the ground, face up. Her and Alek were pressed against each other in every way, legs entangled. He could smell the perfume she was wearing, the one that made his head spin. Her hands were pushing on his chest, her squirming beneath him. Before he could stop it he let out a groan, one that was definitely not the most appropriate for the moment.
Chloe stopped her fighting and stared at him, eyes wide. Alek squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that maybe that sound hadn't come out after all. His face felt hot and he didn't want to open his eyes for the life of him. He quickly scrambled off of the girl beneath him and hoped that he could stop his heart from racing. He took deep breaths and walked away quickly, standing over by the counter. He rubbed the back of his neck harshly.
"Alek, I didn't mean to. . .to do that." Chloe rushed out, her voice coming from right behind him. He spun around and faced her clearing his throat.
"You didn't do anything." He told her, because she really hadn't. Wasn't her fault she could always affect him like she could. Or maybe it was. Chloe's cheeks were tinted a rosy color and she looked as if she were trying to hold back a smile, or maybe even a laugh. Alek felt a grin of his own make way, pulling at his face. It was just one of those moments that no matter the circumstances, made Alek have a little bit of hope that they could work things out. Maybe things weren't as bad if Chloe wasn't running away, especially after creating the awkward moment Alek had.
Alek was sick of the angst, the sadness that was eating at him every time he thought of Chloe. He just want things to back to normal, he wanted Chloe back. There wasn't much he could do because even though he made the mistake not to let her save her mom, everything was in her hands now. It was up to her if they went back to normal but he just didn't know how to tell her that. After a few seconds, it didn't seem like he had to.
"Why?" Chloe questioned. Alek was about to comment when she continued. "Why'd you stop me?" Chloe's question hung in the air and Alek sucked in a breath. What he couldn't understand is why she couldn't understand. Was it that hard for her to get the point that it didn't matter if she would come back, her dying was something he just couldn't handle. He would blame himself, just like he did for the four lives she already lost. It made him want to throw up, the thought of losing her. He shook his head, mouth agape.
"You really don't get it, do you?" He wondered aloud, asking himself if she could really be that blind. After all the time they'd spent together, him making sure she knew he loved her. He'd proved it in every single way he knew how, but it seemed like he wasn't the only one with doubts on the occasion. Chloe was looking at him, almost scared of the answer. She shook her head.
Alek nodded and looked away, that sinking feeling coming back. Maybe she didn't get it because she didn't feel it anymore. Maybe how he felt about her wasn't as important as it used to be. Her being away from him, even for a short period of time, made him feel like he was missing a piece of himself. Half of himself. Maybe she didn't understand that because she didn't feel the same way.
"Do you love me?" He hated it. He hated that he had to ask, that he had to reassure himself that what they had was real. He looked back at her, searching her face for an answer. Her eyebrows were pushed to the top of her head, surprised that he would ask that. But the silence felt like an answer to Alek. A true and extremely painful one, but an answer nonetheless. He looked up, wishing he weren't such an idiot. He wished that he could let her be, not half his heart on his sleeve every time she was around. He started to walk away and go back to his room because looking at Chloe, being in the same vicinity as her, it just made him want to crawl in a hole and never come out.
"Alek," Chloe tried and he heard the pleading in her voice. He didn't want it. Why didn't she just say it? It was so easy for her to say so many other times, the times that virtually meant nothing, but when it did mean something she left him high and dry. When Chloe was 16, he never pegged her to say a word about love unless she meant it. That's why when she said she loved Brian, it hurt so bad. Because she loved Brian, there hadn't been room for him. Then come a week later and she was telling him she'd fallen for someone else, that someone being him. She jumped around but Alek never thought much of it. She was confused and he knew that, that's why he didn't push her.
Alek ran a hand through his hair, wanting things to just be easy. Maybe wishing that this whole thing, their lives, had never even crossed. That way he might not be such a sap at this moment and Chloe wouldn't have to worry about him.
"Alek, stop." Chloe begged, this time her padded footsteps coming after him. He was in his room before she could say another word, but he couldn't close the door in time. She was right behind him, pushing herself through the narrow opening. He gave an exasperated sigh and opened the door back up.
"I'm not controlling your life here, I'm trying to make it easier on you." He told her, pointing out the door and not daring to look at her.
"Easier on me how?" She practically hissed. "By doubting me? Not trusting me? Killing my mother?" Alek flinched visibly but Chloe didn't stop. "Yes, that makes it so much easier for me. The one person that I'm supposed to half no matter what is doing almost everything he can to make sure I stay unhappy. Thank you so much, Alek." She scoffed and Alek felt his jaw tighten.
"So I'm supposed to do what exactly?" He finally said, voice coming out louder than he planned. "I'm supposed to let you go into that burning building and get yourself killed, have to deal with losing you for the fifth time? No!" He shouted and she started backing up, back side of her knees hitting his bed. He hadn't even realized he was walking closer to her. "It's not going to happen, not if I have a say in it. But you don't seem to understand that, Chloe. You don't seem to understand how I'd feel if you died, no matter how many more times you can come back to life.
"It rips me apart. The thought of losing you, having your heart stop even one more time. I thought you'd understand that because I thought you'd feel the same, that maybe losing me was something you didn't want. That's why I have my doubts, Chloe. All this time I've done all that I possibly can to make you see how important you are to me but it's like - it's like you don't even care! It's as if I could disappear one day and it wouldn't even matter to you. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?" He finished, placing it all out there. She looked stunned, like he'd just slapped her right cross the face. Maybe he had in a metaphorical way. He shook his head. She really didn't get it. "You, Chloe, are everything to me. I don't care how terrible that sounds because I'm fully aware that I sound like I belong in some one dollar romance novel. It's true."
He felt like hitting something. A lot of somethings. He didn't want to see Chloe and her reaction because it puzzled him so much that she couldn't see it before.
"Alek, you. . ." Chloe trailed off, not knowing how to respond. He was sitting on the other side of the bed, back facing her. He didn't know what to do, not anymore. He felt the bed shift as he guessed Chloe was moving closer to him. Her hand on her shoulder let him know he thought right.
His whole body stiffened and Chloe felt it. She squeezed his shoulder and he moved from her grip. "Alek, I didn't know." It was his turn to scoff.
"Really? You didn't know that I care, that I love you?" Alek turned around, facing her now. She looked so lost, like she just found out things she had no clue of. Her eyes were bouncing all over, to his eyes and face, around the room. Just anywhere. "How could you not know that?"
"I don't know, Alek. I just - I have no clue at all." Her eyes were glassy and her whole body felt like it was shutting down, Alek could see that. He wanted to hold her again. So he did. He felt his shoulder and neck start to become damp with the tears of the only girl he'd ever known to be so strong, yet so damn weak when it came to emotions. He held the back of her head with his left hand, the other sitting at her waist. She cried and cried for all she was worth and Alek could literally feel his heart breaking, like it was shattering.
"You make me absolutely crazy, you know that?" He whispered into her hair. The horrible sounds she had been making stopped but the tears were still there. She looked up and her flushed face and bloodshot eyes made him have to close his own. He hated seeing her cry.
Alek felt her pull away and he thought that maybe things still weren't okay, but then he felt something that made his whole body jump. Her lips skimmed over his neck and he bit his bottom lip to keep from reacting.
"I love you," Chloe said softly. Alek froze, like he'd never heard her say it before. Out of all the other times, this meant so much more to him. Her teeth grazed his neck.
"Chloe. . ." he warned in a growl-like whisper. Alek felt her lips curve into a smile.
"I love you, Alek." She said again, this time kissing his jaw. "I love you so much." She kissed his lips with the lightest pressure and he let her. She pulled away only after a few seconds. She looked right into his dark brown eyes as he finally opened them, hoping that he knew she meant it.
He couldn't reply in fear of messing something up. She smiled slightly, nipping on her own bottom lip. "Would it be too much to ask of you, if I said to try and forget that night? Me asking you to leave?" Her voice wavered as if she expected him to tell her he couldn't. He eyed her up and he hesitated.
"I can try," he said truthfully. "I can't make any promises though, Chloe." No point in lying to her, he decided. He saw her face fall. "Chloe, it's not that I don't want to. I - "
"I know," she agreed quickly, placing her hand on the side of his face. He tilted it, placing it more in her hold. "You have every right to be upset with me." She leaned up, kissing his cheek softly. She pulled away and started to leave, which made Alek confused slightly.
"Chloe?" Said girl stopped and turned around to face him. She smiled but it really didn't meet her eyes.
"Even for barely noon, it's been a long day." As she said that, she looked away. She didn't try to leave again, though.
"You could always - " He tried, but stopped. He looked at his hands. "Stay. You could always stay. With me." He hoped she wouldn't turn him down, he really did. Finally something went alright and he felt the bed dip beside him.
"You don't mind?" She asked. He looked over at her and saw how nervous she looked. He almost laughed.
"Of course I don't. In fact," Alek reached towards her, placing her small hands in his own. "I'd mind it more if you left." She smiled a smile that made him feel extremely goofy inside. She pulled her hands from his and moved up to the top of his bed, leaning back. He moved beside her.
She gave him an almost teasing look and lifted herself up, placing the side of her body right against his and laced her fingers through Alek's, who couldn't help but let the small smirk slide on his face. "Knew you couldn't stay away for long," he teased her for the first time in what felt like forever. She gave a loud laugh and placed her head on his shoulder.
They sat like that until Chloe could feel his fingers running through her hair. Alek's eyes felt heavy and he drifted off a bit before he felt her fingers tracing down his chest, making his heart pick up. He was sure she heard it.
"You know," she started. Her eyes met the one's looking down at her. "Alek, about what you said earlier - "
"Don't." Alek rushed quickly, almost sitting himself up to try and hush her. He didn't want to hear what she had to say, only because he was - maybe for one of the first times in his life when dealing with emotions - scared of what she would say. "It doesn't matter, alright? I was stupid and being way too dramatic. It's okay." He tried to reassure her but that didn't help because they both knew it wasn't true.
"For once, I'm going to completely ignore what you just said." Alek laughed a little at the whole "for once" thing, considering how many times she's done something against his wishes. She gave him a joking glare. "I can't explain why I didn't think of you losing me. I guess I was just caught up in my mom and thinking I could have done something, that I never thought of what it might be like from your side."
"Chloe," he started to interrupt her, but she put a hand across his mouth. His eyes widened a bit as she gave him a look that said shut up.
"When I lost her it was like I almost wanted to believe I didn't have anyone, that I really was as alone as I felt. With you around, I couldn't do that. That's why I shoved you out of the house and my life for these past few weeks. I can tell you right now that it didn't make me feel any better," Chloe's voice was falling with every word she said, getting softer and softer, and Alek feared she would start crying again. "It made me feel terrible, what I did."
He tried to pry her hand from his mouth, but she just slapped him in the shoulder.
"You are so stubborn, you idiot!" She yelled at him, but her lips were forming a smile. "Look, my point is that I know how terrible I can be. You always have to deal with that when it comes to me and I'm sorry, but Alek, you are so much more than I could have ever asked for. In a friend, a boyfriend, a protector - in everything. Alek, you're so important to me and I can't believe I ever made you feel like you - Ow!"
Alek bit down on her palm, making her jump away, pulling her hand with her. She looked at him like he was crazy but he was too busy trying not to jump up and down like a kid on his birthday. As she kept talking an idea ran through his head and he couldn't help but keep her from talking anymore.
"Alek, I swear to you I'm going to frickin' kill you." Alek was smirking now and he leaned down, shoving her down on the bed and making her yelp and squirm beneath him. He kissed her with everything in him and she was too busy trying to push him off to respond, so he finally let up, still pinning her down. "What are you doing!" Chloe shrieked and he kept smiling.
"I love you and that's all you and I ever need to know." He said honestly, eyes showing how much he meant him. Chloe's heart did a little flip, along with her stomach, but her hands were still pushing on his firm chest. "But I would like to know just one more thing and that's if you, Chloe King, are willing to spend the rest of your life with me." She stopped fighting and Alek figured this could either go two ways; one, she say yes and they live happily ever after, or two, she freaks out and tells him no, that it's too soon and she needed to find more options.
Chloe's hand reached up into Alek's dark blond hair and yanked him down, capturing his lips with the perfect amount of everything. She kissed him so hard she thought there might be a bruise on the both of them and held his face with both of her hands and he gripped her hips tight.
Alek closed his eyes, wishing he could stay in that moment forever as her lips parted, allowing him to kiss her even more deeply. Sadly, he had to breathe sooner rather than later, so he pulled away. Chloe was biting her lip when he opened his eyes, looking so beautifully flushed that he had to kiss her again. He did so, letting his whole body fall onto hers and she let out a breath that made him smile against her mouth. She giggled and pulled away, lifting her head high as if to get more air.
"I'm going to take that as a yes?" He asked, voice deep. It made Chloe think of the other times his voice would get that deep and she felt another round of warmth sneak up her neck, to her face.
"I'd be crazy if I didn't say yes." She said breathlessly, failing to find her usually strong voice. He smiled and kissed her cheek before propping himself up, dragging her with him.
"And I think you're absolutely crazy for saying yes, but who's to judge?" He joked, giving her a look that made her feel absolutely giddy. She smiled and shook her head, wondering how a day that started so terribly could end up being so damn good.