Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or any of the people or places mentioned. I only own the events.

"Molly, what would you like me to do with this?"

Molly looked over her shoulder at me holding a large, newly cleaned cutting board that had been used for tonight's supper.

"Just put it over there, Remus," Molly instructed, pointing towards the counter located to the immediate right of Grimmauld Place's kitchen door. I nodded and strode over to the counter, placing the cutting board behind a jar of coffee grinds.

As I turned back to finish helping Molly put away the dishes, the kitchen door swung open, revealing a pink haired witch - the one person I would rather not see at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I cared about Tonks. My feelings for her were so intense, but we had had a fight right before supper and now she isn't that happy with me. I want to be with Tonks, but I'm afraid she won't be happy with me. She said she has the same feelings for me, but I think my condition could make her think twice about it in the future. That was what our fight had been about. That's what they are always about. The summer the Order first started using Grimmauld place, last summer, is when my feelings for Tonks, and hers for me, began to grow.

But it's impossible for us to be together. She deserves to be happy and for that to happen, she needs to be with someone who won't pose a threat to her life.

Tonks froze in the doorway, staring straight at me. The sadness that inhabited in her eyes was obvious, but there was a hint of anger as well. She tried to glare at me but the effect was ruined because her eyes were red and swollen from an evening of crying. I tried not to cringe with guilt. I had done that to her. Was I doomed to hurt everyone I cared about because of what I was? Anger at myself, and my condition, began to plague my mind, but slowly receded as I focused again on the present moment.

We stood there for several minutes, just looking at each other. With every passing moment I began to regret my decision as I realized just how much pain I caused her, and myself, with my refusal. A small tear fought its way down her cheek and I reached out and brushed it away with my thumb. Tonks looked surprised at the gesture. I was surprised myself, but I hated to see her cry.

The regret I felt began to grow as I let my finger linger on her cheek. Her fair skin was soft and warm. My heart began to hammer and I had a pressing desire to know if her lips were as soft as her cheek. I began to lean forward, with every intention of kissing her. Tonks' eyes widened in surprise but then she slowly closed her eyes as she too leaned forward.

"Remus could you help me with th- Oh…Hi Tonks. You didn't come to dinner. Would you like something to eat?" Molly asked with concern.

Both Tonks and I pulled away quickly, slightly embarrassed and very disappointed. "Oh, um, yes please. That would be great. I haven't been feeling well lately but I thought that I should at least eat something." Tonks replied nervously.

"Of course." Molly smiled warmly and felt Tonks' head, staying true to her maternal ways. After looking at us both with a hint of concern, she turned and began to prepare Tonks some food.
I looked into Tonks' eyes and I saw a small glimmer of hope accompanied by a pleading look. A look that I was dying to give way to, but, remembering my cursed nature, I turned away and began to put away more dishes. I hoped she got my message that things were still how they had been and that I couldn't be with her. I snuck a glance and the hurt and angry expression gave away that she had. I tried not to show that the hurt glare she was shooting at me made my insides squirm and my heart ache. 'She deserves better than me. She deserves to be able to have a normal husband, a normal child, a normal life. A life without me.'

At that moment, Molly walked up with a tray of warmed leftovers and a steaming cup of tea. She held out the tray and gave Tonks a warm, caring look.

"I hope you feel better, dear. Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you." She remarked with a smile.

"Thank you, Molly," Tonks replied as she took the tray and flew out the door.

Molly confusedly watched the door as it slammed shut and we both winced at the loud thump. I felt awful for leading her on like that, but even worse that it was something I had to do. I would give anything to be with her.

"What happened?" Molly asked.

"The right thing," I said, turning to her with a defeated look. "I just wish it could be different."