Hello, I am Elisa. while reading this fan fiction it would be helpful if you were to listen to like a knife by Secondhand Serenade. you can find the full playlist for this story and others on my spotify account E. Full authors note at the bottom.

A choice... that's what Effie Trinket gave me. A choice between my sister and myself. And in the moment I hear myself choose...

"I volunteer!"

Thinking back on it was a desperate decision. I feel my heart hammering against my rib cage at a bruising tempo. I hear my sister's screams echoing behind me. Everything passes in a blur. Effie's shrill accent, the sound of my own voice, my body goes into autopilot as my feet carry me forward in strained steps.

"What's your name?"

I feel my mouth move and the words tumble out, yet my mind doesn't register. Effie's heels click away followed by the call of a boy, but my mind is too far away to comprehend what just happened. I hear the swish of Effie's ridiculous dress, as she returns, with a boy two years older than me. A boy I knew very well, almost too well...

There we were, sitting in the woods, stuffing ourselves with all the berries we could find, and stretching out our dirty barefeet. The day was almost midsummer, and its heat hit us like one of those fancy silver trains that we sometimes see from the Capitol.

I hear his voice in the fog of my mind, as familiar as my own heartbeat.

"The sky looks beautiful today," he breathed the words like they were a burst of fresh air, do different from that of district 12. He, as always, was correct the sky is the most glorious shade of blue, a sight to see in our monochrome district. I reach my hands towards it like a baby reaching for its mother.

" I wish I could just bottle this," I say." sell it at the Hob, I would make a fortune."

"the worlds not yours for the taking," he laughs incredulously,

"That's all you ever say." I retort with a raised eyebrow.

His smile, a sight rarely seen, is once again lost, "somebody has to tell the truth..." he whispers to himself...

I snap back to reality hyper focused on the stone hard face in front of me, only my long trained eyes could see the vulnerability hidden behind his grey irises.

You promised me...

Effie nudges me towards him, a light tap, really, but I was too lost in my own mind, not taking any notice until I begin to feel my feet slip out from under me. He catches me in a hug. It probably looked sweet and innocent. Like it had been my intention all along. But in that moment all I wanted to do was hit him, and cry, and beg him to tell me it was a joke, he wasn't going in and neither was I. It was just another nightmare...

But he didn't. And I didn't. I pushed him away from me, like I do everyone, and ran off the stage, past the peace keeper's, right into the justice building.

I hear the heavy, oak doors slam behind me, the sound bounces off the walls down the long, bare hallway ahead. Even empty of furniture, the whole hall seemed extravagantly ornate, the stone walls lined with a jewel's golden veins and the occasional portrait. Reaching out to touch the wall with my boney fingers I can't help but think what a waste this is. These rocks could feed the whole district for years... The sharp intake of breath rushes down my raw throat as I recoil my fingers. The wall is cold as ice, and my breath fogs the stone's mirror-like surface.

As I stroll down the never ending path of locked doors, I stop at one portrait; tracing the woman's hooked nose to her delicate mouth and sharp jaw. I'm drawn to her, something about her is both intriguing and foreboding, maybe it was the bird like qualities or the mischevious quirk of her lip, or could it be in the eyes... as cold and chilling as the building itself, seemingly flat, yet filled with an unexpected depth... my fingers find themselves on the name plate, ghosting over her moniker, only to withdraw as if burned.

Theodora Snow

"The president's daughter..."

I feel the hair on my neck raise, after all, a trained hunter knows when one's watching them, I whip around only to find myself face to face with a perfect example of the Capitol's materialism.

"There you are!" Effie's shrill voice echoes its way to me, "We've been looking for you!"

I find myself standing in an office-like room. I find myself absent-mindedly playing with the little objects laying seemingly carelessly along the desk's frosty surface, thinking back on the days events thus far... The door swings open suddenly and I soon find myself enveloped in a warm hug, such a contrast to the room surrounding us. My mom's already crying and I can't help but worry for her. When my dad died she completely tuned out, it was like she no longer remembered who I was... or who she was for that matter. When she lost my father, she lost herself, day after day she'd sit infront of that window, just going through the motions, and although I'll never forgive her for it, I have been trying to pull her back to reality. To somehow build back the bond we once shared.

Completely diverse from my mother, who's on the verge of a panic attack, my sister is calm and collected, or at least more so than my near hysterical mother. She takes my hands in hers and tells me all the things I know, what she's taught me, as well as Rory and Gale. Her eyes search mine, trying to find some kind of reassurance. I try my best to smile encouragingly, but it must have resembled more of a grimace, because the next thing I know I'm back in my sisters arms, her hand stroking my hair, her tears soaking into my shoulder. We stand there for a moment, my sister tries to reel herself in, to keep her emotions in check, like always. And then we just stand there, looking into each other's eyes in silent understanding.

"I brought you something," My mother's voice is strained and near silent. I nod and take the leather bound book from her hands. It had been my father's, he filled it with names of plants, their pictures, and information. Her hands quake, not moving from where they were when I took the book from them. Her eyes are glazing over, and in that moment I can't take it, how selfish she is, how she's has always been. I set the book on the desk and snatch her hands in my own, pulling her towards me to hiss in her ear, "You will not tune out again. You can't. There are people who need you, the town, the Hawthorne's, your own family... Don't let dad and I down again,"

When I release her, the expression on her face is one of pure shock. We exchange a curt nod before the door swings open once again, this time to wrench them out of the room, the last words I hear are my sister's, "You have to win, promise me-". The door closes, blocking off the rest of her words and my chance to reply.

My next visitor is slightly unexpected, Madge, the mayors daughter. She rushes in and takes my hands in hers. "Listen, I don't have much time, but I need you to take this," I feel her slip a cool piece of metal into my right hand, "I can't really explain now, but you have to trust me. You can win these games, you have what it takes. You have to show Panem that district 12 is more than a bunch of slum rats, this is vital." Her eyes bore into mine, as if trying to convey some secret message, "Please, wear this as your token," Her eyes flicker to our joined hands, "don't question what I've said, just know that when the time comes you will know. I have go, but first promise me,"

"I promise..." I whisper, feeling as if I've sold my soul to the devil.

Her eyes scan over my features before she nods, satisfied with my reply and pulls her hands away before giving me a bone-breaking hug. Once again the door opens and another person is yanked from me. "Don't forget!" She calls behind her, the doors once again bang shut before I can manage a reply. This seems to be becoming a pattern...

What on Earth could Madge have been going on about... I stare at the door in bewilderment, regaining my bearings I open my hand to see a pin. It's a smooth, hollow circle filled with the semblance of a mockingjay, holding an arrow in it's pointed beak. I squeeze it before pinning it to my father's field journal. I take a seat by the desk, not prepared for the next, and most likely last, set of visitors. It's the Hawthorne's. Posy's face is red and screwed up into a frightening grimace, her cheeks slick with tears. She runs to me and leaps up into my arms and I hold her to me, as close as possible, and hush her. She'd always been by my side, like my shadow, I simply couldn't bear the possibility of never seeing her again. I closed my eyes tight and searched through my mind, trying pictured every memory of us, silently willing her to remember me as she grows.

Balancing her on my hip I accept hugs from all of the Hawthorne's. We all stand there in a melancholy silence, after all, they were also losing someone to the games today. Then Hazel took my hand in her bruised, calloused one, "You done good sweetie," I nod and offer her a weak smile. Her forehead creases as she once again pulls me towards her, "I just want you to know, he wasn't trying to hurt you, he volunteered because he cares." Like Madge she has a suspicious look in her eye, what is it with everyone and their secret looks today...,"Just like you did." I nod and pretend to be forgiving, but underneath I still feel betrayed, how could he?

We share one more moment of heavy silence before the doors open and Posy is taken from me as they file out quickly.

Soon after the Hawthorne's leave I'm escorted by an excessive amount of peacekeeper's to the train. I feel his presence behind me before he makes himself known, "What do you want?" I ask crisply, knowing I'm being harsh, yet feeling entitled.

"I-I" He hangs his head and his shaggy dark hair falls in his face as he lets out a breath, "I'm sorry, I didn't think, I-"

I whip myself to face him, "Exactly Rory! You didn't think! At least not intelligently! What were you even thinking about?! We had a promise!" I turn aside and continue marching forward, that is until he took hold of my arm,

"I was thinking that I couldn't live with myself if I let you die, Prim!" He yells in my face, holding my wrist with a bruising grip. His eyes screamed what his mouth couldn't, "Stay with me..." I felt a pang of guilt, but the anger I was unleashing was to heavy, full of fear and uncertainty, and I couldn't bear it any longer.

"I can handle myself Rory, you should know that better than anybody." I hiss, pulling my arm out of his grasp and storming away onto the silver train, leaving him standing behind me, mouth agape. What I didn't see was the look in his eyes, like my words had cut through him, similar to that of a knife.

This is my first fanfiction, I hope you're enjoying reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it. I'll try to update at least one chapter every month, each chapter will have a song to go along with it. songs will be added to the spotify account when the chapter is added to fanfiction. all songs within said fanfiction will be in a playlist with the same name as the fanfictionon my spotify account(E. ). Suggestions for songs and writing alike are welcome, would you like me to continue writing this story? do you have any ideas for other fanfictions? please leave a review! I love you all thank you so much for reading!

-Elisa