I'm back! This is a Quinn character study. Sort of. I don't really know what you'd call it. Please note: any Quinn details not mentioned in the actual show were made up by me. I based them off of one of my best friends, who I fondly refer to as "preggo" because in our roleplay I'm Rachel and she's Quinn. :P Anyways, its horrible and rough and just altogether awful. But I wanted to get it up. So, here it is. Please, review! :D
She watches him- them- from across the choir room.
It had been 6 months since Nationals. 6 months since their sickening reunion. 6 months since he had broken up with her.
She was still struggling to understand that. Why he had chosen Rachel over her. She had asked him about it on the second day of school, when Rachel was off doing who knows what.
"Why her? Why not me? I'm pretty and popular," she had said.
"And what else?" was the response she had gotten.
She stood there for a moment, puzzling over what he had said, before looking up at him, confusion evident in her icy blue eyes.
"Yes, you're pretty, Quinn. Yes, you're popular. But what else are you? Do you even know? Are you kind or smart or funny or charming?" he had explained. When she had given no response, he had smiled and shaken his head.
"Rachel is beautiful and funny and sweet. She has a big heart and a voice that makes me go weak in the knees. She knows who she is and where she's going. Do you know who you are? Do you know where you want your life to go?"
She had simply looked down at the ground.
"You don't know who you are, Quinn, because you keep letting other people decide that for you." And then Rachel had appeared and he had taken her hand and they walked off to class together.
She was left standing alone in the rapidly emptying hallway, the truth of Finn's words ringing in her ears.
Who was she, exactly? Who was Quinn Fabray?
She was born on April 19th and given the name Lucy Quinn Fabray after her maternal grandmother. She had an older sister and a doting mother and father. Her childhood had been miserable, filled with taunting and bullying. She had done ballet, then gymnastics, then cheerleading, always accepting her father's critiscm that she was too fat, not good enough, not at the top so she can't be worth much as the truth. As her weight decreased, her popularity increased, and so did her father's praise and pride in her. She had gotten a nose job, dyed her hair, and dropped the Lucy in her name when her father had gotten a raise, wanting to leave that part of her behind forever. Her favourite colour was sky blue and she loved Taylor Swift music. She had cheated on her boyfriend and gotten pregnant at 16. Her father had turned out to be a cheating bastard and her mother was nothing more to him than a pawn in his pursuit of the "perfect" life.
She was the ex-captain of the Cheerios. She had gotten her first kiss when she was 11 from Noah Puckerman.
The perfect, sheltered life her parents had created for her had fallen apart the moment she walked through the door to the Kindergarten room and a boy had called her fat. When she had started crying, it had only encouraged him. Since that day she had vowed to never let her emotions show.
She had tried so hard to create a life that other people would envy that she had lost herself in the process.
Gone were the days where she would paint a picture of the night sky just because it made her happy. She used to know the names of the constellations by heart- now she was lucky to remember the Big Dipper. She used to love hiking and writing and animals, but that side of her had been lost when she got to high school and quickly found out that if you wanted to fit in, you couldn't stand out.
The old her, the real Quinn (or Lucy, rather)- she was gone.
As this truth dawned on her, Quinn was overwhelmed by sadness. She was shocked to discover that she really missed the old her- the dorky, 100% "uncool" her, braces and all.
At least that girl was real.
Finn's words spun around in her head. "You don't know who you are, Quinn, because you keep letting other people decide that for you."
And that was it. She had made up her mind. She was going to prove Finn wrong. She was going to show him that she knew who she was, even if it came at the cost of her popularity.
Starting today, the world was going to see the real Quinn Fabray.
She watches them embrace each other across the auditorium, graduation caps flying everywhere. As they break apart to receive congratulations from their families, she once again notices what she saw half a year ago, in the choir room that December day.
In the most inexplicable but natural way, they move, work, with each other.
When Rachel shifts her weight form one foot to the other, so does Finn. And even before her fathers are visible to them through the crowd, Finn knows to let Rachel go, let her run and embrace them, before securing his hand at her waist.
Suddenly, the words from Jean's funeral come to mind.
"When you love someone, they're a part of you. It's like you're attached by this invisible tether, and no matter how far away you are, you can always feel them."
They- Finn and Rachel- are tethered to each other. The bond they have is unbreakable.
And she's not jealous.
She's finally figured out who she is and where she's going. She's dropped the cold façade and let people see who she really is; a warm, funny, sweet person. Although she's not afraid to channel her inner bitch when need be.
She has also, miraculously, formed a tight bond with Rachel. They really were more alike than anybody would have ever guessed. She helped Rachel with her insecurities and Rachel helped her find a guy that looked at Quinn the same way Finn looked at Rachel. In the past 6 months, they've become almost like sisters, sharing countless secrets and stories and fears. She's really going to miss Rachel when she goes off to Harvard in the fall.
A hand wraps around her waist, breaking through her thoughts.
"Hey babe."
Puck's breath is warm in her ear, and she grins before turning around to give him a kiss. She finally knows where she belongs. She has a bright future ahead of her, and an amazing guy and the greatest friends ever to share it with. And as Puck's fingers intertwine with hers and her mother rushes over to give her a hug, she decides on something else.
She thinks she's going to ask her Harvard friends to call her Lucy.
END