To Say Obliviate

I was pacing my room, while reviewing my mental list of everything I couold possibly need. Suddenly I stopped and flopped down on my bed next to the purple clutch that held the essence of my life...not literally of course. In this position I was looking up at the glow in the dark stars stuck to my ceiling. I smiled at the memories that accompany those stars...and as I thought of them, each one became more vivid.

"I put those stars above your bed when you were born so you would always know even the farthest stars are within your reach." Mum's voice said through my drifting mind on the road to sleep.

I sat in my dad's favorite chair with 'Hogwarts a History' on my lap. When he came home he lifted me onto the chair arm and took his place in the chair. I showed him the pictures of the enchanted ceiling in the Great Hall

I was thirsty, so I crept downstairs, quietly as to not wake my parents. I approached the kitchen and when i reached the door I heard voices. My first instinct was to run but upon recognizing the voices I stayed to listen. Even though eavesdropping wasn't anything I would normally consider hearing my name changed my mind, so I lingered by the doorway. "-Hermione is going to Hogwarts...and I'm glad she got the opportunity..." my dad trailed off "but her leaving us and entering a new world could mean her leaving us forever"

I saw my mum sitting in the living room, she looked deep in thought. I approached and asked what she was thinking about. She looked up in surprise and held out her arms. I crawled into her lap and curled up. Once I was settled she answered. "Your going away to a school where you will learn about things your father and I could have never dreamed of, things we wouldn't have been able to teach you. You'll make friends and create a home away from home. I want you to go to Hogwarts and learn about being a witch because I know you'll be brilliant, but at the same time I wish that learning more about who you are won't lead you away from us.." she was quiet for a moment, then whispered "we can give you glow in the dark stars and fantasies, but they can give you the gift of the night sky while keeping a roof above your head and make those fantasies your reality...in fact they are your reality as is magic, your a witch". I snuggled closer to her "without your stars I could have never dreamed up the miracles that are becoming my life. And those stars that allowed me to reach for the moon wont be at Hogwarts but at home, reminding me how I wouldn't be at wizarding school without them, or you"

The train was unforgettable, it was named the Hogwarts Express and all I could do was stand on the platform and stare. That is until my mum pressed a package in my hand "so you'll always remember". With goodbyes and boarding I didn't get a chance to unwrap it on the platform. Only after I found a compartment did I remember the parcel. When I unwrapped it I found a package of glow in the dark stars...

These thoughts always comforted me and more recently gave me melancholy. I sat up with a start, realizing that I'd made a promise mum and dad that Hogwarts and magic would never make me leave, and yet that's exactly what I was about to do. Of course not for the specific reason they had feared... just ones that would make them worry more. I stood and surveyed my room. For all I knew, this could be the last time I saw this room. It was also likely I wouldn't live to be 20. Oddly that didn't really upset me, even though it probably should have at least bothered me. But it didn't what did was that the people (if you could still call them that, more like monsters) behind all this and fear were doing it without a second thought. Well for the most part.

Using muggle-borns as a scapegoat and a way to gain power or inflict pain on others, (for their sick enjoyment) was cruel. Death Eaters are well aware of this fact and yet they, continue to do it, with pleasure in some cases. Matter of fact the whole wizarding world was well aware of this but only a brave and strong few dared to stand against the dark lord. I was one of them, a proud member of the Order of the Phoenix, well aware of the dangers and still willing to risk it all.

I had thought of every possible way I could explain this life I chose to my parents, every excuse I could use for my extended (possibly permanent) absence. But the words always sounded forced and hollow. I knew that what I had decided to do would protect them and ensure they wouldn't make themselves sick with worry. I knew this was for the best...more like I had to believe this was for the best. But the thing I knew for certain was that I couldn't bare to stand in my room any longer. I grabbed my purple clutch and quietly descended the stairs. I was surprisingly calm and serene, considering what I did next. My parents' backs were to me as they watched the news. I heard the announcer "...bridge collapsed, 20 people are missing and 11 injured. There are no theories yet as to how..." more innocent deaths, i was determined my parents wouldn't be among them. That's when I realized I wouldn't have second thoughts, so I drew my wand. The one thought I had as I steadily raised my wand was what a major difference one word could make...then I murmured "Obliviate". Hand shaking I lowered my wand and exited my-the house quickly.

I could tell I was on the verge of tears, so I tried to calm myself. I began to go through all my well thought out plans:

The plane tickets to Australia had been reserved, mum and dad thought they were planning to permanently move there, my bag and I were prepared for practically everything...

I blinked as a few tears rolled down my cheeks, well clearly that hadn't worked. I tried happy thoughts next:

Where ever we were going at least I would be traveling with my two best mates, Harry was acting slightly more stable thanks to Ginny, I was going to attend Bill and Fluer's wedding, I had the most stunning dress to wear, I couldn't wait to see what Ron's reaction will be when he sees me in it...because Ron and I are...friends.

And with that my tears were able to fully escape from the prison of my eyes. I silently cried as I walked down the street and entered the park. Luckily no one was there, the abandoned swings creaked in the wind, and the shadows of memories played across my consciousness. I wiped away my tears in an attempt to dry my face and hoped my eyes weren't red.

"It takes a bloody lot to say Obliviate" I said to myself, and proceeded to apparate to the Burrow.