Phone sex
Artemis: Hello?
Wally: Artemis! Hey!
Artemis: Wally? Thank god you called, I've been waiting all day.
Wally: Yeah, I called your cell like, 4 times and you didn't reply. I feel like an idiot for leaving you all those messages though.
Artemis: Hey, blame that on my cell. I dropped on the street curb yesterday and it's screen is cracked. I can't even turn it on.
Wally: Sounds terrible babe.
Artemis: Hey, so get this, I went to the cave yesterday, and I overheard Zatanna and Kaldur on the phone.
Wally: And...?
Artemis: They sounded pretty hot...
Wally: What are you getting at Arty?
Artemis: I'm rubbing my boob Wally, get it now?
Wally: Oh... Oh! I get it.
Artemis: It's your turn Wally, what are you doing?
Wally: Well... I am... lying in my bed now.
Artemis: And...
Wally: I'm reaching down into my pants...
Artemis: Yeah...
Wally: And I'm... (Sighs) Listen Artemis, I'm feeling awkward doing this.
Artemis: We fucked on my apartment balcony while my mom was watching the Ellen show, you didn't seem awkward doing that.
Wally: That's because it was dark outside and nobody was looking up at us from the street... plus, we had a blanket to cover ourselves.
Artemis: Come on Wally, I wanna give this a try. So don't hang up and rub it for me!
Wally: Okay Arty, whatever you say. So, now I reaching down to my pants, and I'm grabbing it... and now I'm rubbin' it for you babe.
Artemis: Tell me how it feels...
Wally: (Sighs) It feels great.
Artemis: How big is it?
Wally: It's getting bigger.
Artemis: (Sighs) God Wally, talk dirty now.
Wally: Geez Arty, even on the phone you're in control.
Paula: You have no idea Wallace.
Artemis: MOM!
Wally: Mrs. Crock?
Paula: The one and only.
Artemis: Mom, what the hell are you doing here?
Paula: I was ordering Pizza! But my phone was low on battery. So I used the home one.
Wally: How long have you been listening to us?
Paula: From the whole boob-rubbing thing.
Artemis: GET OFF MOM!
Paula: Hold on for a second, you two had sex?
Artemis: Yeah, about that... I threw away that purity ring you gave me for Christmas.
Paula: And on the balcony! You told me that our neighbors were doing it upstairs!
Artemis: I lied?
Wally: Wow, this is more entertaining than phone sex.
Artemis: Shut up Wally! You're the one who fucked me!
Wally: Don't drag me into this.
Artemis: To bad Wally! Thanks to this, you'll be rubbing it alone for the next month.
Wally: Awww... Dammit! Well Mrs. Crock, I guess I'll be going now.
Paula: Goodbye Wallace. And Artemis, we'll talk about this more one you hang up!
Artemis: Ugghhh... Bye Wally!
Are you creeped out yet? You are? Good!
Disclaimer: I do not own.
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