Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Beta: rainyrapshody – she is a sweetheart and a saint for putting up with my grammar!-
Like every year, Tenten was the first to arrive at the cemetery. Lee was probably still going through his pre-morning training regime while Gai-sensei, Tenten suspected, was giving the kunoichi some time alone with the deceased while making sure Lee didn't disturb her.
Her gaze fell on the polished marble and she sat on her ankles.
"Hey Neji." she said to the grey stone. "It's that time of the year again, sorry I can't visit regularly." an elegant script it read Neji Hyuuga. Tenten couldn't help but caressed his name, the gravestone cold against warm fingers.
The weapon mistress eyes softened as she remembered fond memories of the late Hyuuga.
To an outsider, Neji may have seemed like a cold man who never showed his emotions but that wasn't the case. For all of his hailed genius, when it came to emotions, Neji Hyuuga was just a dork. He preferred his actions to do the talking.
Even though six years had passed, Tenten still felt the pain freshly as if it was the first day. The brunette wondered, chewing her slightly shaking lips, if she would ever get over the loss of her teammate.
She smiled bitterly; teammate was not enough to describe her relationship with Neji Hyuuga. He was, through her life as a Konoha kunoichi, always there.
Neji was dependable friend; she had cried in the safety of the Hyuuga's strong arms, when her father had passed away. Tenten had been a complete sobbing wreck, but she was eternally grateful when Neji dealt with the funeral arrangements in her stead.
Neji was a gentle lover; when she blushed like the teenager she was and asked him to be her first, because it was a must for active kunoichi to give their virginity to someone they trusted, because one could never predict the outcomes of missions, Neji had smirked with male pride although his cheeks had tinted red, and carried her through passionate nights and whispered fantasies that Tenten never knew existed.
Neji was her solid rock of sanity; with Gai as a teacher and Lee as a teammate in regular daily life, the Hyuuga genius was like fresh air and calm reason that kept her normal around the enthusiastic green beasts.
Neji was a wonderful teacher; whenever she struggled with a jutsu or the explanation for a technique made sense as much as Gai did, he would be there, easing her through, step by step. And amazingly, although Tenten never asked him to, somehow Neji would know she needed him and he would appear.
Neji was a trusted comrade; Tenten still remembered that mission clearly, that tiring battle that exhausted them both. She had been barely standing and her movements were sluggish when the katana had slashed at her left side. The weapon mistress had expected pain that never came; instead she saw long silky hair drifting on the slow breeze and blood coloring the usually light colored garments. Thankfully, back up showed up, Sakura with them as a medic, the brown eyed girl was so worried for him because the hit was meant for her, but it was Neji on the ground coloring the green grass in a deep crimson.
Neji Hyuuga was many things for Tenten, and without his presence, the weapon mistress felt hollow, incomplete. A huge part of her chest was missing and she knew it will never return.
She missed his unfairly soft hair that would always be in shape even after long battles. She missed cuddling into his warmth on the rainy days. She missed training alongside him until her muscles burned and her body was exhausted.
She missed being happy.
Tenten felt a few stray drops escape her eyes and instantly dried them. She promised last year would be the last time she would mourn with tears, and Tenten intended to keep her word.
So she was somehow composed when Lee showed up with Gai-sensei, who was on his wheelchair, both smiling and waving at her.
"My beautiful lotus! You are as early as ever!" exclaimed the older man, thankfully using his indoor voice. "I see your flames of youth are burning bright!"
Tenten couldn't hold the snort of laughter from escaping. The weapon's mistress knew how keen her sensei was, and he was sure to have noticed the dried tears and was he trying his best to cheer her up, even doubling his silliness for her mood.
Lee, oblivious like always, gave the brunette girl a thumbs up. "Tenten! How youthful of you to show up so early! I wanted to be early as well; but Gai- sensei told me to climb the Hokage tower with a turtle on my back for my training!" Lee clenched his fist as figurative flames shot out of his eyes. "To compensate my tardiness, I will climb the Hokage tower with only my teeth and two turtles tied on my back!"
The woman managed a silly grin. The green beasts would always managed to make her feel better within a few minutes every single year. Even though Lee was dense, Gai-sensei was not and Tenten was sure Gai-sensei had come up with more ridiculous training to keep Lee occupied.
"It's okay Lee." she assured the over-energetic man, patting his shoulder.
Manly tears started to flow down. "My beautiful teammate! Your heart must have bathed in the flames of youth to be so forgiving!" Then he rushed to hug the perplexed girl who really should have been used to Lee, but wasn't.
Lee nodded his head so quickly Tenten feared he would snap his spine, but Lee's attention was already on the grave, talking loudly and waving his hands around in a green blur, talking about his progress to his rival. Even if Neji wasn't around, for Lee, he would always be his rival to surpass.
Tenten backed off to leave the young beast alone with Neji, and turned to her sensei , offering him a tentative smile.
Gai-sensei wheeled to her side and gave her a brilliant smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "It is a wonderful day, my youthful student! Would you walk with this green beast for a while?"
Tenten nodded and went behind the wheelchair to her sensei out of the cemetery.
They strolled around the empty streets. It was too early, and people were only just starting to wake up. It seemed like it would turn out to be a warm day, with the occasional breeze to cool it off.
"Tenten." Lost in thought, the weapon mistress startled at her name being called, and she blinked at the crippled man.
"Sensei?" she asked uncertainly. The famed green beast was looking at her with understanding eyes and thinned lips.
"Gai-sensei?" the brunette asked again, because Gai Maito was sitting seriously without an ounce of silliness visible on his actually handsome face.
The man cleared his throat. "My beautiful lotus, I am aware you are still mourning Neji and there is nothing unyouthful about it, but isn't it time for you to let go?"
Suddenly, Tenten's heart clenched painfully, the hot tears she had willed away in front of the grave returning tenfold. She gave a shuddering sigh, her body losing strength as she did so. Tenten held onto the wheelchair's rough leather until her knuckles turned white from the strain.
Black eyes softened, seeing the pain reflected in brown orbs, and Gai gently told the girl, "Burdens are lighter when they are shared."
"Sorry sensei," she bit out, turning her back at the retired ninja. Tenten wasn't actually sure why she was apologizing to her sensei. Was it because she didn't want to share her burden? Or was it because she didn't want to let go of him yet?
Tenten was scared. No matter how tough and tomboy she looked, she was terrified to letting go. Deep down, she felt that if she stopped mourning the Hyuuga, she would change, and something about her would never be the same again.
It was enough reason for her to cling to a ghost.
After several minutes of silence passed, Tenten croaked out. "I have something… I'll catch up later."
The brunette didn't want to talk about it, she didn't want to think about it, and so she ran, far away from her sensei, who was still shouting her name urgently.
She couldn't deal with this, not now, or ever.
Only when she found herself near the Hyuuga compound she stopped. The brunette was slightly out of breath, and felt shame running away from her sensei. She knew he was trying to help her but she didn't need help.
The pain cutting through her was so hot she couldn't breathe through it.
Get it together, Tenten.
"Tenten-san?" A familiar timid voice reached the brunette's ears.
"Oh Hinata," she said slowly, trying regaining her composure. "How are you?" she asked, attempting to sound normal.
The young Hyuuga blinked and gave her a little smile. "I'm fine, but I can't say the same for you."
Tenten snorted but it sounded more like a choke. "Can't fool the byakugan." The brunette mumbled bitterly, scowling half-heartedly.
Hinata hid her embarrassed giggle behind the sleeve of her jacket. "Would you like to come in?"
Brown eyes turned towards the clan estate. This was his home; he had grown up here, trained here, lost his father and was branded here. Neji had cried, smiled, and brooded behind those walls. Everything that made Hyuuga Neji the man he was had started here.
Before she realized it, Tenten was already walking inside behind Hinata. She shook her head into attention and caught up to the heiress.
"This is it."
The brunette turned a questioning brow to Hinata, who only smiled bitterly, her eyes glazed. Indicating the plain yellow sliding door she muttered solemnly,
"This was Neji's room."
And that was enough for the weapon mistress. She nodded mechanically and with shaky hands slid the door to reveal a modest room.
Tenten felt delicate fingers over her tensed shoulders. "You can stay as long as you want."
She nodded again, stepping inside as she did so. The door slid back into place and Tenten found herself alone in his room.
A bedroom represents its owner. Neji had always been a minimalistic man, taking only what he needed and never more, so the brunette wasn't surprised to only see a bed, desk and wardrobe; all whisky colored and made of polished cherry wood.
Slowly, she walked up at the wardrobe and opened it. The doors revealed neatly folded clothes that smelled faintly of pine. Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, Tenten picked up a soft, cotton made shirt with wide sleeves. It was Neji's battle outfit and Tenten found herself hugging the cloth, which somehow still smelled like the Hyuuga genius. She buried her face into it, as her tears were absorbed by the outfit.
It was sunset; the sun painting the clouds a deep scarlet.
Tenten was at the graveyard again, and although she had visited earlier, it just hadn't seemed like enough for her. Basking in the dying light of the sun, she sat down, a familiar white cotton shirt settled over her shoulders, warming her for the upcoming night's chill.
"I…" Tenten thoughts were running through her head but words failed her. Her eyes were starting to burn, but she found that she didn't particularly care. The clenching in her heart was familiar, and Tenten wished the pain would abandon her like Neji did.
Everything seemed quiet around her, so she whispered her words to the stone.
She told it about their academy days, and how Neji was always better at everything. She laughed when talking about the antics of Team Gai. Her tone rose in pinch when she passed on the chunin exam and her lips trembled as she retold their dangerous missions. Her memories guiding her words, she talked, and talked, and talked, until her throat was raw and her eyes were dry.
At the end, she inhaled the night air and swallowed to ease her abused vocal cords.
"Neji, I never regretted being a ninja. Thanks to this, that I met you and everyone and had all kinds of adventures, so no, I will never regret choosing to be a kunoichi."
Slender yet calloused fingers, fumbled with plastic hair ties and long chocolate tresses cascaded down from their buns. The chilly wind swayed the silky strands and Tenten brushed them back.
"Sensei was right… I can't live stuck to the past." Then she heatedly added, "But don't worry! This doesn't mean I'll forget you! Oh, Neji, you gave me so much to remember, how can I forget anything about you? But it hurts and some nights I can't sleep and…and…and…"
Tenten's vision blurred as she gasped for air, shaking with suppressed sobs. Her fingers grasped the collar of his shirt to wrap it farther around her, trying to find comfort in the familiar scent that lingered on it.
When she spoke again, her voice was jagged and torn but her words rang true and clear.
"I loved you."
Her pained tone betrayed her tense body and then the weapon mistress pulled out a kunai to slash her long tresses. A strong wind picked the chocolate colored strands, and carried them away together with Tenten's heart.
The woman split her hair, and wound one section into a bun and the other into a half braid.
The brunette turned just to stop and whisper her last words to the star marred sky, managing to form an unburdened smile. "Wait for me in the afterlife Neji."
THE END
Beta's comment: THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL, 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND