It wasn't her fault. He kept repeating that to himself as he was being questioned by the DOD's finest. It wasn't her fault.
It all began when Gibbs, DiNozzo and McGee saw Bodnar fall off the ship and into his death. As they looked up, a reaction any human being would've had under those circumstances, they saw Ziva looking overboard to see if the man who killed her father was still alive. He wasn't.
She looked at the three men below. Gibbs' expression was one of confusion but understanding at the same time. He knew first-hand what the need to get revenge felt like. McGee was shocked at the sight of both Ziva and Bodnar. He never thought she could actually do something like that, but he knew she didn't lack the skills to. DiNozzo was in disbelief. He just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that she went behind his and everyone else's back and killed Bodnar. A part of him believed in the possibility that she pushed him off the ship. The other part knew that wasn't the way she wanted things to end. He knew that dying was the easy way out for him and that Ziva wasn't gonna let Bodnar get off scot-free. She wanted him to pay for what he did, not die. But for now, he wasn't sure which side was winning his internal debate.
After returning to the office, Gibbs and Ziva went in to talk to Vance. He didn't want an explanation, as Bodnar's death involved him as well. He just wanted to know it was over. And it was.
It was also the beginning of the end.
Nevertheless, Tony did need to know what'd happened on that damn ship. As Ziva was washing up in the bathroom, he stormed in and locked the door behind him.
—"Tony, I really do not want to do this now." Her voice sounded tired, hurt and about to break.
—"Well, too bad. We are doing this here and now. So, tell me, what the hell happened on that ship, Ziva?" He was angry and confused.
—"Nothing" Her tone was dry and Tony knew that was her go-to answer for whenever she didn't want to talk about something.
—"Look—" He was getting angrier by the minute, not at her but at the situation, but somehow he managed to remain calm. It wasn't fair that she had to through this alone; he just wanted to help. "—Just tell me what happened, ok? I won't judge and I won't tell".
—"What is that supposed to mean, Tony? Are you accusing me of something?" She was starting to raise her tone because she didn't like what he was implying.
—"We both know what you wanted to do to Bodnar and, like I said, I don't blame you, he killed your father and he deserved no less". He noticed the disappointment on Ziva's face and he knew that he had probably been wrong to assume that she threw him off the ship on purpose.
—"Are you accusing me of killing Bodnar, Tony?" Her voice was breaking and she was on the verge of tears. She was truly hurt by what he was implying. "I never thought you of all people would say something like that. I thought you knew me better than that by now".
—"I'm sorry, ok. But what was I supposed to think? I mean, you took your own car keys out of my backpack after you gave them to me; then you snuck out of the office without telling anyone where you were going or what you were going to do; and when we finally got to you, we were greeted with Bodnar dropping dead, literally." He was speaking fast but she was able to follow.
At this point, Ziva was so enraged by Tony's accusations that she just wanted to leave. But he was still blocking her path and she knew he wouldn't move until he got some answers out of her. Not wanting him to see her cry, she locked herself in a stall.
—"Oh, that's real mature, Ziva. Locking yourself in a stall, nice one!" He used a sarcastic tone, just to make her see how mad he really was.
Practically begging, she asked him to leave her alone. She couldn't take it anymore. Everyone was thinking the same thing, but Tony was the only one that confronted her, the only one that dared to do that. That's why it hurt her so badly right now; it's not that she was being accused of murder but that it was Tony doing it.
—"Come on, Ziva…. Talk to me… Let's figure this out together, ok?" He sounded more sincere and kind and truly worried about her.
—"I didn't kill him, Tony" She was still locked. She didn't mind shedding a few tears as long as Tony didn't see her. Yet, she still was trying not to cry. "I swear I didn't throw him off the boat".
—"It's a ship not a boat" He was trying to make her laugh now. She always smiled when he corrected her. And she did, he just didn't catch her.
At this, she opened the door and let him see her with tears in her eyes and about to break. Tony felt his heart break in a million pieces when he saw her face. He could take the worst of tortures and he could take pain for days but he couldn't bear to see Ziva scared, much less crying.
—"Oh, sweetie… I'm sorry. I just wanna know what happened. I didn't mean to make you upset." Tony really felt bad about being the one that put tears in her eyes. "Please, trust me"
—"He lost his balance, Tony. I tried to save him, to hold him so he wouldn't fall overboard, but he was too heavy for me." Remembering this made a tear fall down her cheek. "We were fighting and he tripped over something on the ground and he lost his footing and if I'd tried to catch him and save him, I would've fallen over with him".
She was sobbing now and Tony pulled her into a hug. She was so weak and tired from the fight that she just let him, something that was not very usual. The only thing that Tony could do was stroke her hair and calm her down, saying that he believed her and would always be on her side and have her back.
Back to the present, Tony was being questioned by Parsons. He kept on asking Tony whether he knew where Ziva was going that night and he kept saying no, which was half true. He didn't know where she was going but he suspected. Parsons was fishing, trying to blame Ziva for Bodnar's death and Tony knew that. Suddenly, Parsons dropped the question on him: "Did she kill him, Agent DiNozzo? Did she throw him overboard?" Tony lost it. He was tired of all these questions, of people doubting Ziva's loyalty to the agency, to the country, to her friends and to herself. He just snapped.
—"How dare you question Ziva David's loyalty? Who the HELL do you think you are? You don't know her well enough to accuse her of something like that, you don't even know all the facts!" As angry and pissed off as Tony was right now, he couldn't stop thinking about Ziva and how guilty she must've been, watching her friends be interrogated because of something she did.
—"Calm down, Agent DiNozzo. I'm here looking for justice and I'll follow the evidence I've gathered wherever it takes me. And right now, it's pointing to your friend. So, I know you talked to her as soon as she got back. Wanna tell me what she said?"
—"No" Tony had a deadpan expression on his face. He wasn't going to break.
They began a staring contest: Parsons was trying to intimidate Tony and Tony was daring him to ask him another question. Both men knew how this would end up if more questions were asked, so Parsons decided to walk away from the match.
—"Alright, Agent DiNozzo. You're free to go. I think I have all I need. Thank you"
Tony gave him a "go to hell" look and left the room. Outside, Ziva was waiting for him, ready to thank him for protecting her and to apologize for putting him through this. When Tony saw her, instead of stopping, he just kept going; he wasn't in the mood to talk.
—"Tony" She wanted to talk and know everything was going to be ok between them.
—"Not now, Ziva. Got work to do" He was still mad after the interview with Parsons and he didn't want to take it out on her. He needed space.
—"Why not?" The innocence in Ziva's voice made Tony turn around and walk toward her. Then, he grabbed her armed strongly enough to force her into a closet but not strongly enough to hurt her or leave a bruise.
—"He's trying to pin this on you, Ziva. He knows I talked to you in the bathroom" He was whispering with an angry tone of voice.
—"I know. I was watching. I…. I wanted to thank you for not telling him about our conversation. I really appreciate it, Tony"
Tony was taken aback by her humbleness and stood quiet in front of her, not knowing how to react to that. Ziva, on the other hand, was beginning to feel uncomfortable.
—"Say something…. You're making me nervous, Tony"
—"You are a very sweet, innocent, loving woman. Did you know that?"
—"Why are you telling me that?" She was very confused at this sudden change of topic.
—"Because it's not fair for you to be going through this. You've had to deal with so much crap in your life and, somehow, you turned out like this. A sweet, innocent and beautiful person" He wasn't flirting, he was just being honest and stating the facts.
—"Thank you"
She didn't know what else to say and he wouldn't say anything else, so they went back to the awkward, silent place. This time, though, she broke the silence.
—"I don't want anything to happen to you because of me, Tony. I wouldn't be able to live with it"
—"Don't worry about me, Ziva. I can take care of myself. I just want you to be safe."
His tone melted her heart. She hugged him in such a way that he knew she needed that hug more than she needed to breathe. So they just stayed there, in the closet, hugging and comforting each other and ignoring the rest of the world. And in that moment, something clicked between them. He didn't want this moment to end.