Disclaimer: I own nothing! It all belongs to Fox and he who must not be named.
A/N: Really, this story just came to me this evening after seeing the season finale of Glee. The concept is still really rough, so just bear with me okay? This chapter is sorta background and setup.
Summery: *Spoilers* They lost Regionals and Quinn decided to give her baby up for adoption. Everything seems to have gone wrong and Quinn is left wondering if it will ever be right again. The continuation of Quinn and Glee, and maybe the beginning of something that Quinn never saw coming. Eventual Faberry. May change rating to M in future.
It was really over. Regionals came and went, just like Quinn's baby bump, and what did they have to show for it? The heartache of not winning, of not even placing, is only overshadowed by the hollow void of her now flat (if somewhat flabby, but no way in hell is anyone gonna see anytime soon) stomach. Quinn sighs, gently rubbing where her baby girl use to be, both out of habit and remorse.
Did she make the right decision, not just for her (and maybe Puck), but for her little girl? She almost didn't go through with it. That moment, the one when the nurses handed her the tiny, pink, slightly wrinkled bundle that was her daughter… Quinn never saw anything so perfect in her entire life. It was at that instant when Quinn truly wanted to keep her, almost felt like she needed this tiny miracle in her life. But then, when the nurses took her away and Quinn looked around at Puck, her mother and Mercedes, did she remember why it wasn't possible.
Quinn wasn't ready, not truly. She looked at Puck and saw only the boy who knocked her up, an oversized man-child, and even though she believes he loves her and the baby and would take care of them the best he could, he doesn't yet posses the maturity they both need to make it work. Then there's her mother. A prime example of parenting gone wrong, and although she was there for Quinn during the labor, it still doesn't make up for the months of abandonment of when Quinn needed her most. How could she possibly be a good mother for her daughter, when Quinn doesn't have any real experience or guidance from her own alcoholic mother? Not exactly the best model for motherhood. And then there's Mercedes, the truest of friends in the most unlikely of forms. She looks at Mercedes and sees a wonderful person with enormous talent, an overall good life, and a future that seems limitless when faced with this headstrong diva. She is what Quinn wants to be. That is the kind of person her daughter needs and deserves, but Quinn knows that she has to grow a whole lot more as a person before she can claim such a privilege as that of this little angel's mother.
So she gave her daughter up for adoption.
Now Quinn finds herself in the empty choir room, the elation of knowing Glee club has another whole year to battle their way to Regionals once again is slowly being consumed by the grief she has at giving up her daughter, and the knowledge that she may come to sorely regret it one day. Like Rachel's mom.
Now there's another whole new issue, as if there wasn't enough already. Damn high school drama... and the hell with puberty and hormones and everything else that goes with it. Quinn pauses, noticing her whitened knuckles clenched around her now wrinkled dress, then drops her chin and slowly shakes her head. I thought the mood swings were over, she groans internally. Quinn was surprised when Rachel's mother and Vocal Adrenaline coach, Shelby Corcoran, offered to adopt her baby. Heck, shocked was more like it. Shelby was so earnest though, and she gazed at Quinn's baby like… like a mother seeing her child for the first time. And as Quinn watched Shelby lovingly cradle her baby, she knew that Shelby could give her daughter what Quinn was not yet ready or able to.
So that was that.
Quinn notices the clock and slowly stands up, realizing it was nearing the time she is supposed to meet her mother for dinner. Quinn was by no means ready to move back in with her yet, sorry just doesn't cut it in her book, but the blonde agreed to dinner every other evening to test the waters of her and her mother's relationship, and eventually take it from there.
Quinn looks around and sighs once again. One more year to prove ourselves. To prove myself. So many things have happened, are happening, and it's just gonna continue changing. I just wonder what fate has in store for me next. Quinn tilts her head for a moment and then shudders. Oh dear Lord, I bet I just jinxed myself. Bad Quinn. No more internal monologueing, it'll just lead you down whole other rabbit hole you're better off not exploring.
Right as Quinn finishes scolding herself, the door opens and in walks another of Quinn's conundrums.
"Oh, Quinn." Rachel Berry pauses in the doorway, surprised. "I thought everyone had gone home already," Rachel makes her way into the room and begins rummaging among the music sheets stored in the back shelves behind the piano. Her head stuck amid the cabinets, Rachel's muffled voice continues, predictably of course, and to Quinn's slight amusement. "With Sectionals a mere seven months away and our not being able to practice as a group for the duration of the summer, which I believe will be a sore detriment to our cohesion as a group, I am going to make copies of choice selections of music that I will work on during the summer vacation and have ready for Glee club come the first day of school. For of course, preparedness is close to godliness…" Rachel pauses her diatribe, finally having selected her music and turned around, only to see Quinn's bored expression paired with a slight smirk. "At least that is what I think," Rachel quietly finishes, looking down while further straightening her music sheets.
That's one thing that'll never change, Quinn muses, somewhat fondly. Rachel Berry is like the ocean tide… constant, with a steady stream of words. Whether you want to hear them or not, she thinks wryly. Quinn, however, remembers her newly made promise to change herself, ideally for the better, and is resolved from seeing it short lived.
"That's a good idea Rachel," Quinn comments politely, giving her a small smile. "Whatever can give us an extra edge for Sectionals will definitely help."
Rachel looks up at Quinn, startled, her face an interesting mix of shock, pleasure, and wariness at the blonde's words and, in her opinion, disturbing smile. For Quinn has never smiled like that at her before, so gently, and dare she say it… sincere? That's it, Rachel thought, the crushing weight of defeat at Regionals has finally driven my sanity over the edge. Quinn Fabray is speaking to me nicely with no witnesses, and she smiled at me genuinely. Or the world is coming to an end. One of the two.
Quinn notices Rachel's somewhat vacant expression and idly wonders if she broke her. Maybe the smile was too much at one time. Gotta take it slow Fabray, you're still new at this and it is Rachel you are dealing with. Quinn is becoming concerned with Rachel's lack of response and starts waving her hand in front of Rachel's face, hoping to break her out of her self-induced trance. Wow, is this how I affect people? Definitely must use my abilities for good, for with great power comes… oh no, I knew I shouldn't have read Puck's comics during my 3am cravings. But damn if that boy doesn't own a single piece of real literature.
Stumped, Quinn ponders her situation. Then, with a mischievous glint in her eyes, Quinn leans forward, intent on bringing Rachel back to the land of the living.