Oooohh... shiny candy bars..

Ummm... yeah, I dunno what the heck is this anyway.. MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! Anyway, feel free to read, flame, review, wonder what the hell is wrong with me and call up an assasin to murder me, blah blah blah..

Nothing in this fic belongs to me. They belong to other people, but not me. Happy?

And this is set when Riddel, Karsh, Dario and Glenn where kids. No one is acting like they usually are, but then it wouldn't be very funny, now would it?

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Once upon a time, there was a happy land called El Nido. It was ruled by a very grumpy man named General Viper who had a spoiled brat of a daughter named Riddel. Now, Riddel isn't spoiled, ya say? WELL, SHADDAP AND LISTEN TO THE GODDAMNED STORY!

Anyway, one day, Riddel decided to go get herself some Elements. She pestered her father over and over again.

"But Daddy!" Riddel whined. "All the other lowlifes get to play with Elements and I can't!"

"Riddel! Shut the hell up! I'm sick of yer whining and moping! If you want those damned Elements so bad, yer gonna go out of town and BUY SOME!"

Riddel did not want to go alone. She wanted some poor soul to come with her and buy the Elements for her. What a bitch! Anyway, the poor soul in question was a terrified kid named Dario.

Where is Dario, ya ask? Oh, banging Karsh in a.. oh wait, this ain't no NC-17 fic, this is PG-13! Well, Dario was hiding behind a stuffed Pikachu doll. Now, dun ask me how Pikachu got there, just READ!

"Oh I hope Riddel doesn't come here!" Dario shuddered. But because I am mean and Dario had natural bad luck to begin with, Riddel ended up in the same room as he did!

"DAAAAARRIIIOOOO..?" Called Riddel, but maybe called is a bit of an understatement. Let us say she ROARED.

The windows cracked, the pipes broke, a sinkhole swallowed up half the guards and the Pikachu plushie, who was actually Pip, ran away revealing Dario!

Hu? You say Pip wasn't in the story back then? Oh well, he is now! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dario wailed, and Riddel laughed evily.

"Come on, dear Dario, yer gonna buy some Elements for me!" she cackled. Dario pleaded and begged but Riddel grabbed her PRISIM STAFF and bonked him on the head with it. Unfortunatly, the staf-

GODDAMMIT, STOP INTERUPPTING ME! RIDDEL HAS THE PRISIM STAFF THIS EARLY IN THE GAME BECAUSE HER MOMMY LEFT IT FOR HER, OK??

..Unfortunatly, the staff was so powerful it knocked Dario out. Now Riddel was upset! Who was gonna escort her into town and buy Elements for her? Karsh of course!

Now, Karsh saw the destruction Riddel's roar made and he was a very scared now. So scared he peed. But maybe it was by Fate, or a stroke of luck, that he was sitting on a toilet taking a crap.

"Oh no! Now that mean Riddel is gonna make me come with her! I don't like Riddel!" Karsh complained. He sat there, pondering on how to get Riddel away from him. But time was running out! He could hear Riddel ROARING for him! The room was starting to shake and Karsh didn't know how long the building could stand!

Lo and behold, Karsh...had..an..idea!

"KKKKAAAA...MMAAAAAEEE...HAAAAAAA...MMMAAAAEEEE....HHHHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!" Karsh yelled, and...

THE BIGGEST, LOUDEST, SMELLEIST FART KNOWN TO ALL MANKIND WAS BORN!!

The fart's force knocked everyone within a thousand mile radius down. Riddel was thrown into a bucket of pig shit (how it got there, I do not know), but that was next to nothing after the smell kicked in..

OH THE SMELL! THE SMELL WAS HORRIBLE! IT STANK WORSE THAN HELL!

Every plant within a 5-mile raduis withered and died. Monsters ran away in fear. Regular humans and demi-humans ran into the nearest cave/house/boat/whorehouse and boarded up the windows.

But Riddel, who fell into that bucket of pig-shit, was immune to the smell, but was knocked back so far that she'd have to take another 30 seconds to walk to where she was. But Riddel was a busy girl, and she needed someone fast! Glenn just so happened to be in a barrle beside her.

"Hiya, Riddel, how are you?" he asked, ignoring to the smell, destruction, or the threat of having a conversation with Riddel.

"I need someone to escort me to town so they can buy Elements for me!" She answered, then smiled at Glenn. "Would you take me?"

Glenn thought for awhile. You see, Glenn was not very smart, being bonked on the head too many times during training with Dario and Karsh. Riddel often spared Glenn of her evil Rainbow Staff (which her mommy left her, rememeber that) because she saw him as an impudent child. But, hey, why not! A 8-year old can escort a 12-year old completely capable of protecting herself, right?

"OK!: Glenn smiled stupidly, and Riddel grabbed him and marched her way past Viper Manor and right.. to the Shadow Forest.

"Uhhh... Riddel? This isn't the right way.." Little Glenn whimpered. Riddel laughed in the same manner as Heidagger from FF7 and snorted after that.

"Who's the older one, Glenn?" She asked sweetly.

"Uhhh.. you?"

"So, then who's the smarter one?"

"Uhhh.. you?"

"That's right!" Riddel huggled Glenn, and proceeded to march towards the Shadow Forest, and their impending doom.

**********Meanwhile, at the ruined Viper manor**************

General Viper surveyed the area in disgust. He knew that the only creature foul enough to do much damage was only...

HIS EVIL, DEMONIC, DAUGHTER, RIDDEL!!

"I'll send some of my troops to execute the girl.. then I'll need a new heir.." He mused. Now, which one of his idiotic troops would have no trouble killing Riddel? Well, killing Riddel is a very difficult task! He'd need some strong, smart..

Aha! SeeDs! No, wait, wrong game..

THE 3 DRAGOON DEVAS!

Yes, the-

LOOK, IN THE PRESENT TIME, THE DRAGOON DEVAS WERE RADIUS, GARAI AND ZAPPA! There was no fourth. SO SHUT UP, QUIT WHINING AND READ!

AHEM, Yes, the Dragoon Devas were the equivilant to the Turks! (Lousy Planet, why can't it have Mako? Noooo, we're stuck with two dimensions and a bunch of lousy Dragons and Elements)

"RADIUS! GARAI! ZAPPA!" Viper barked. Three drunken men stumbled into the room.

"Yeah *hic* sir?" Garai saluted, then fell down.

"It is...time." Viper announced. The other men looked around in glee.

"RADIUS!" Zappa roared, and got down on one knee. "WILL YE MARRY ME?"

"NO, NOT TIME TO GET COME OUT OF THE CLOSET!" Viper screeched. "The other time"

"We get to kill that brat, Riddel?" Radius asked. Viper nodded.

"YAY!" They all cheered, then ran out of the room searching for Riddel with lethal weapons and elements in tow.

"... stupid Devas." Viper mumbled before going to his secret room to do god-knows-what he does in there.. all I can say is.. YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW..

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Hehehehehehehehe, how was that? I'm just taking a little break from mah chibi-auron story, with this one. I chuckled a few times, but it really ain't nothing special.. read and review if ya want, you cannot deter the next chapter from coming, no matter what you do! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!