A/N: As you'll quickly see, I'm a very good ranter, and unaffected by fangirl/fanboyism, whom lose all reason and go SONAMY FTW :D:D:D:D:D:D or something really messed up like SONIG! (WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK? Granted, they were crackfics, but my head nearly bursted.)

I have analyzed every fact, and have deduced Sonic's feelings for Amy.

What you see written here, is the absolute truth.

Sonic's Feeling's about Amy

OK, Amy.

This is pretty difficult for me, and it's pretty hard for me to tell you, too, but it's neccesary for the both of us.

GOD DAMN IT, AMY! Whaddaya expect when you chase after me with a friggin ^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^ face on you? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? That I'll stand still enjoying being glomped by you and fervently wishing I had a dick to jack off and f*ck with? Well NEWS FLASH! I DON'T THINK THAT!

In fact, you want to know what I do think? I think OH GOD THERE COMES AMY WITH A FRIGGIN ^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^ face! I've gotta go find a closet which I can crawl in a fetal position and rock myself back and forth sucking my thumb until someone calls the authorities about me missing! Do you have any idea how annoying it is for Tails to have him lend me his closet EVERY TIME YOU CHASE AFTER ME? Tails has been wearing the same pair of shoes for 3 MONTHS NOW because he can't go into the closet!

The only reason I haven't been screaming this in to your face is because of your god damn hammer. If I say "no" then you just go all apeshit and "RRRRRR" and you just take it out and I'm like "AAAAAAAH" and run the f*ck away from that gigantic hammer, which I have no idea where you put. Seriously, where do you store that hammer? I can't find one place where you put it, let alone 50. (Sonic X)

Thank god Shadow Chaos Controlled your hammer away. Why ever did he do that...is it because you GLOMPED HIM? Are you born color blind? I demand to know! HOW DO I LOOK ANYTHING LIKE SHADOW OR SILVER? Even if you aren't taking colors into account, Shadow has his quills UP, and Silver has those 2...Twi'lek things over his head. Also, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU THINK THAT WEREHOG WAS ME? OK, so it was, but I would assume that even you would know better than to charge at a gigantic, steroid ridden hedgehog with spikes on his shoes. Do I look anything like my Werehog form?

And before you say I confessed to you in Sonic X, it's to get you to STOP CHASING ME! But did that effing work? NO! Nooo, you just continued glomping me, at the most absurd times too! Try not to glomp me when a hundred Metarexes are staring at us in the face, PLEASE!

You keep this up and I will seriously spin dash you the next time you chase after me, OK? I don't need a frickin fangirl after my ass every day! If you want me that much, act like Blaze or something! (Damn, I need to see her again.) TAKE IT SLOW, AMY!

Screw you,

Sonic

Amy: Hey, Sonic. ^_^

Sonic: DIDN'T YOU F*CKING GET MY LETTER? (Which shows how thick she is.)