The Absence
AU. Royai. Riza Hawkeye never believed that there was a man who could sway her enough to give up Everything. But maybe there were some things that were enough to make her crumble.
Didn't even know that love was bigger
Didn't even know that love was so, so (hey, hey, hey)
Hey this fire, it's burnin', burnin' us up
Hey this fire, it's burnin', burnin' us up
-Regina Spektor 'the Calculation'
Prologue
The two figures were pressed tightly together, her back against the wall and his arms around her waist. They hadn't gone too far, not yet, but he was pressing his lips gently against the bare skin of her neck and she knew that he had wanted to go too far for a very long time.
He was clean, and he smelt like soap. How long had it taken for him to leave his own apartment and rush to her? He was quicker every time.
But it couldn't continue.
She knew that there was no way for it to continue.
The only problem was; her contract had required for her to get close to him. Her employer had even pre-empted that this was a possibility. But she had specifically tried to keep herself cold and distant. Like she always kept herself cold and distant. But he was so charming and roguish.
He had caused her to melt.
And now she was letting him wrap his arms around her waist and press her against the wall, while she sat on top of one of her shorter bookcases and held onto him as tightly as he was holding on to her. She was holding onto him so that she was close enough to smell the soap on his skin. Just like the first time, but the first time she had been smelling smoke.
The problem was, she had told her employer that she would be able to break away, but now she was feeling that such a thing wouldn't be possible.
How would her heart deal with the absence?
But it was either pull away from the only man who she had ever let get close enough to melt her icy demeanor, or lose her contract, and lose the respect of her father. And more than anything; she needed the respect of her father. She was the only family she had, and he had always taught her that he would be the only man that she would ever need.
But she didn't want to tell the
man with his arms around her waist and his mouth on hers to step back. She didn't want to, but she had to.
She broke the connection and whispered into his ear;
"I'm sorry."
Then she gently pushed him back and walked away. He would never know how terrible she felt, and how much willpower it took, to not look, or run back, or even turn around to tell him something that would ease the parting for him. She could have told him something callous and cruel, so that he could move on believing that she didn't feel for him, but that would have been a lie. And she couldn't bear to hurt him.
The absence was hurt enough.
Please review. This is only the prologue and I'll try and update promptly. Consider it a special story in honour of Royai Day (which is I think in 2 Days!). Anyone else think that we should not just have a Royai 'Day' but also a week long festival?