Hello, your friendly Spiritweaver here again! I am so terribly sorry I haven't updated in a century and a half! This year in school has been so hectic I'm always drained mentally and find myself unable to write. Well, heres a little Tsubasa ficlet, one shot of course...perhaps... butum, yeah I'll try to update my Loveless fic soon!
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Kiss me, Kill me
It had been a year. One year since the final battle for the last of Sakura's feathers. One year since Syaoran and his princess had returned to Clow. One year since Fai had been gifted with Mokona so he could travel dimensions at will. One year where he had continued to flee his past, and Ashura…one year since his beautiful ninja had left him to return to Tomoyo.
Fai sat, staring out the window at the swirling snow in depression. His dark blue eyes had a look of permanent sorrow that would not be displaced. Mokona had been trying to cheer him up for the past few months, but nothing worked. Fai had sunk into a permanent daze where his days passed as if they were seconds, meaningless and insignificant. He missed Sakura, with her gentle nature, he missed Syaoran with his unbreakable will…he longed for Kurogane, the ninja who had shown him that life was worth living…but only if you had someone who cared for you, or at least, that was now Fai's opinion.
He sighed, his full, pouting lips turned down in a frown. He hardly noticed as Mokona came and nuzzled up against his side, but he absently petted the thing anyways. Was this worth it? Traveling with no clear destination in mind? Maybe he should just go back and face Ashura; surely that fate would be marginally better than living like this. He looked down at Mokona finally and shook his head slightly.
"Let's go somewhere else," he said, his voice dulled and cracked from disuse. Mokona nodded its head so violently that its ears flapped. As he flew up into the air, Fai felt the familiar dissolving sensation as the dimension travel absorbed his body. He flew through the blue abyss, alone, for the thousandth time. When he came out of the dimensions, he landed on something both soft and hard…it was also warm. The next thing he knew, he was pinned to a hard, mat like bed with a very sharp sword pressed against his throat… and a very angry ninja attached to the end of it.
"Kurogane sama?" he asked in disbelief, momentarily stunned into using the ninja's true name. Kurogane also seemed slightly stunned by this.
"Fai?" he blinked and sheathed his sword slowly, his expression darkening.
"What do you think you're doing, dropping onto me when I'm sleeping?!" he barked irritably. Fai smirked.
"Why, that's not very nice of you Kuro wan wan, I just wanted to pay you a visit," he waved a finger in front of Kurogane's nose and shot out of his grip, fluttering around the room while Kurogane chased after him, shouting curses not fit for polite company. Just like old times.
Kurogane blinked in astonishment when he found Fai pinned to the tip of his sword. Wasn't this just some huge coincidence. But then, Kurogane did not believe in coincidence. Everything happened for a reason, of course.
"Fai?" he asked. The mage looked like hell. There were dark bags under blue eyes haunted by nothing but sorrow and loneliness. The already skinny man was now almost skeletal, ribs poking out at strange angles and prodding Kurogane's side. His full weight was resting on top of the mage and he realized what a potentially awkward situation this could be. He sheathed his sword and sat back.
"What do you think you're doing, dropping onto me when I'm sleeping?" he snapped, but it was half hearted at best. Fai smirked
"That's not very nice of you, Kuro wan wan, I just wanted to pay you a visit," he waved a finger in front of Kurogane and the ninja nearly groaned. It was the hated nick names again. Kurogane growled as the mage shot to his feet and began dancing around the room. Annoyed, Kurogane got up and chased him, shouting profanities. Kurogane eventually caught the mage and tackled him to the ground. He loomed over him, teeth bared
"I thought I had gotten rid of you for good," he growled. Fai wriggled under him but he couldn't move. His arms were pinned to his sides and his legs were held down under Kuro pon's weight. Fai smiled in delight
"Not yet" he said smiled mischievously and Kurogane growled. They were both silent for a moment and the only sound in the room was their breathing until Kurogane had the sense to realize that this had become a very awkward situation indeed. He backed off hastily and got to his feet, dusting imaginary flecks of dirt from his armor.
"How can you sleep in that, Kuro myu?" Fai asked, lounging on the ninja's bed with his arms behind his head. Kurogane didn't answer.
"I have work to do. Do whatever you want" Kurogane said at last. Fai pouted
"Awuhhhh, Kuro pon doesn't want to spend time with me" he said to Mokona. The little white thing bounced up and down
"Kuro pon is meaaannn" it whined. Kurogane snarled and stalked out of the room. Fai had to admire him, the man even stalked gracefully.
"What to do, what to do" Fai strolled languidly around Kurogane's room. He showed a remarkable lack of anything personal. There was nothing really in here besides an armor rack, some polish for said armor and sword, his bed and what looked to be a few changes of clothing. With a mischievous grin, Fai picked up the clothing.
"I wanna be a ninja today" he told Mokona as he changed out of his enormous coat and into Kurogane's skin tight black and red clothing. He admired himself in a window. The clothes were to long in the legs but that was fixed by rolling them up and tucking them into an extra pair of boots that Kurogane had. Now he looked good. He hugged himself, inhaling the scent of Kurogane that clung to the clothes before he walked outside. He looked around. Knowing Kurogane, the dark man had probably gone to patrol the perimeter or something. With that thought in mind, Fai dropped out of a handy window and stalked through the tall grass. There was a distinct bite of chill in the air and he shivered slightly, cold without his coat.
He crept around, playing at being a ninja for a while until he tired of the game. Where could someone as tall as Kuro pon vanish to? He finally located the ninja, walking around the edge of a garden with a wary look in his eye. Fai smiled and climbed a tree silently, waiting for Kurogane to walk underneath. When he did, Fai dropped out of the tree into the arms of a very shocked-and annoyed- ninja.
"What the HELL?!" he bellowed
In the palace, Princess Tomoyo had to catch a tea cup as it rattled and fell off the table.
Fai grinned as a few leaves drifted down from a tree.
"Hyuu! Nice catch Kuro myu!" he smirked and Kurogane dropped him in disgust.
"Why are you wearing my clothes?" he asked his voice slightly quieter now. Fai danced around in a circle
"I'm a ninja too!" he crowed loudly. Kurogane growled irritably.
"Go away" he shook his head slightly and turned towards the palace. It was Tomoyo's birthday today and there was going to be a small party for her. Fai followed, shockingly silent, as they walked. When they reached the palace, Kurogane headed towards the throne room and Fai followed. They arrived to find the princess shaking her head and sighing at a teacup with a crack in it. She glanced up and smiled as Kurogane went to one knee
"Kurogane! Who is your friend?" she asked. Kurogane was about to tell her that there was no way in hell Fai was his friend when he changed his mind abruptly.
"This is Fai. I traveled with him and two others when you sent me away" he said. Tomoyo nodded
"Ah yes, you told me about him. A rather lot about him" she smiled gently and got to her feet, gesturing for Kurogane to do the same. She glided over to Fai, her robes whispering along the ground behind her. Fai bowed
"Princess" he said with a soft smile.
"Greetings Fai" she said, inclining her head "Please, have tea with me, both of you" they accepted and when they were all seated, Tomoyo began talking about clothes with Fai. They talked. And talked. And talked. Kurogane soon grew very bored, even though he didn't show it. Who cared if clothes matched or not? As long as they served their purpose, they were fine with him.
Two hours later…
Kurogane was sure his brain had melted and dripped out of his ears by now. He had listened to them talk about matching colors for an hour by now. There was a slightly glazed and vacant look in his eyes by the time Tomoyo finally got to her feet. She smiled warmly at Fai
"It was lovely talking to you. Please, come to my party tonight and we can speak some more" she said. Fai nodded cheerfully
"Of course princess" he said, getting to his feet as well. Tomoyo wafted out of the room and Fai turned to Kurogane. The poor ninja looked half dead by now. He knelt down and prodded his shoulder
"Kuro pon?" he said questioningly. The ninja did not respond.
"Kuro pon?" he asked again with growing alarm. He finally picked up a glass of water from the tea tray and dumped it over Kurogane's head. He blinked and jumped, sputtering.
"What the hell did you do that for?!" he roared.
One of the tea cups fell over and broke. Fai held his hands up defensively
"You looked half dead, Kuro myu" he pouted slightly. Kurogane got to his feet, muttering about idiotic mages and chatty princesses as he stormed down the hall towards his room to dry off.
Yet two more hours later…
"Kuro rin, is my hair okay?" Fai asked, prancing into the room. His hair was, as always, perfect. He was dressed in dark blue and silver. Kurogane wondered briefly where the outfit had come from and the decided against asking.
"Its fine" Kurogane responded absently without looking. Tomoyo had ordered that he come to her party looking presentable so here he was, polishing armor that to him didn't really need it.
The heavy piece was tugged out of his hands by Fai and Kurogane looked up, frowning
"You're missing spots, Kuro wan wan" Fai took the polishing rag and sat down, working at flecks of dirt that Kurogane didn't believe existed. It took another fifteen minutes before Fai was satisfied with Kurogane's armor and allowed him to don it.
"We're going to be late Kuro rin!" Fai grabbed the ninja's arm and dragged the taller man out of the room, down the hall and to the throne room where the party was being held. There were about thirty people there, a small party for a princess and Fai left Kurogane's side almost instantly to go chatter among them. He fit in so easily, Kurogane wouldn't have been surprised if Fai had suddenly told him that he had grown up here.
Two hours later… (Again)
Kurogane had been lounging against a wall for most of the party, having nothing to do. He wondered how Fai was and scanned the room briefly, but he couldn't find the blue and silver clad mage. He pushed away from the wall and wandered around the room, searching.
He finally gave up and wandered out onto the balcony. It was cold outside and he could see his breath on the air. He halted suddenly, spotting Fai. The skinny ice mage was leaning against the railing, a distant, vulnerable look in his clouded blue eyes. He was playing with a scarlet rose, picked from the vine growing up a pillar next to him, and didn't seem to notice when a few petals fell off. Kurogane approached quietly and leaned against the railing next to him.
"It's a bit chilly for you to be out here, is it not?" he asked conversationally. Fai shrugged
"My home world is much colder than this" he said almost nonchalantly. But Kurogane could hear a hint of sadness and fear behind his words.
"Why are you so scared to go back there?" he asked impulsively. Fai shivered and his eyes grew cold and distant
"I don't want to talk about it" he said, turning to Kurogane and leaning against his broad chest. Kurogane was momentarily surprised, but he let him be. They remained like that for several minutes before Kurogane spoke again
"If you don't tell anyone, it'll eat at you until it destroys you" he said gruffly
If it hasn't already destroyed you
He added silently. Fai shook his head, his voice muffled by Kurogane's chest
"Ill tell you when I'm ready" he said, looking up into Kurogane's eyes. The world seemed to stop moving for a second as Fai hesitantly lifted a hand to brush the tip of his finger along Kurogane's jaw. Kurogane's eyes narrowed, but he let Fai do as he wished.
A sudden, playful gust of cold wind sent a bunch of rose petals flying through the air around them and a soft blush covered Fai's cheeks as he slowly leaned up to press his lips against Kurogane's. Most of the thoughts in his head vanished when the ninja didn't pull away and the rest of them died as Kurogane actually returned the kiss.
When Fai finally broke away, his cheeks were thoroughly crimson and he tried to pull out of Kurogane's arms but they tightened around him. He looked up
"Why?" his voice broke slightly and Kurogane tilted his head and shrugged
"I don't know" he replied, a strange look in his crimson eyes.
"Kill me" Fai buried his head against Kurogane's chest, shaking. Kurogane's eyes narrowed a notch or two
"Why?" he growled. Fai looked up again, his eyes bright with unshed tears
"Because I'm going to have to leave soon and I'd rather die than be alone again." He said. Kurogane sighed
"Who said you have to leave?" he asked. Fai closed his eyes
"Ashura…" he was cut off by Kurogane's growl
"Let him come, Ill fight with you" he said, a rogue like smile on his lips. Now Fai's eyes widened
"I couldn't ask you to do that" he protested
"You're not asking I'm offering, mage" he snarled. This drew a small smile from Fai
"Alright, I'll stay" he said. He trusted Kurogane more than he had trusted anyone in a while.
"Come on, I don't want to miss the party" Fai said cheerfully, taking Kurogane's hand ad pulling him back inside.
The tall, dark, former loner followed him without protest.