Once upon a time there was a young man named William. He writes poems which no body likes. He was down on his luck until he met a vampiress by the name of Drusilla. She turned William into one of the undead. Things was looking up for him. They hunted humans and feed on them. William got the name Spike. When he started killing people with railroad spikes. One day his sire Drusilla was slayed by a vampire slayer. While traveling through Europe to a far off land, villagers would come after him. With stakes, torches and crosses, when he vamps out the villagers would run away screaming in terror. Spike found a place in the swamp to call home. He build himself a house. It was no tomb or crypt but it was still home…. Years later in a kingdom far far away there was a little prince named Xander. He was under a curse, each night he turns into a vampiress. The hell fairy god mother, Glory, she told his parents, King Giles and Queen Jenny to send their son away to wait for true love's first kiss. Before Xander was sent away, he would dress up like a girl also let his hair grow out. Since he turns into a girl anyway. It was on Christmas Eve when his parents sends him to the Dragon's Keep. Poor Xander is still lock up in the tallest tower to this day…. At the swamp, Spike enjoyed being alone by himself. He hasn't thought of Drusilla in a very long time. He did however killed the vampire slayer that slayed his sire before he came to live in this swamp many years ago. He was in his house reading a fairly tale book at the dinner table which is near the fire place.
"Once upon a time there was lovely princess that had a terrible curse placed on her. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a dragon. Many brave knights tried to rescue the princess but none had slayed the dragon. She tills waits in the tallest tower for her true love's first kiss. Like that would bloody happen." Spike laughs to himself.
He closes the book. He leaves the house to beat up some training dummies he build. Some times a vampire slayer would come to his swamp. He would kill the vampire slayer then drain 'em of their blood. He stores the blood into glass bottles for later. Spike didn't really like drinking animal blood much. The rest of the day he did his daily routine. Later that night a mob of villagers draw up a plan for getting the vampire. Everyone grabs a stake, a torch and some pitchforks. The mob enters the swamp knocking down BEWARE VAMPIRE signs which Spike put up earlier this morning. Spike sits in his lounge chair. He sees torches coming this way through his window. He gets up from the lounge chair. Leaving the house, Spike follows behind the mob in the darkness without making a sound. The mob are in the bushes, seeing light coming through a window.
"It's in there lets it!" Said one of the villagers in the mob.
A man stops him. The man shakes his head.
"I hear it grinds bones for its bread."
The mob looks at him, wondering what they got themselves into.
"That's something a giant would do."
Said a voice behind them. The mob turns around to face Spike.
"Vampires are way worse. They bleed you dry. Cut your head off and impale it with a pike. Then cook the body parts over a fire. The parts taste good with BQQ sauce."
A villager waves a cross in front of him.
"Back way. Back way. Demon! I'm warning you."
Spike knocks the cross from the villager's hand. The mob is stunned for a few seconds.
"I'll be going now." He runs away dropping the torch.
Spike vamps out, growls at them. They all scream in horror.
"Bloody wankers should be running away right now!"
Everyone drops their stakes, pitchforks and torches behind as they run for their lives. He laughs. He sees a flyer that one of the villagers left and picks it up. He reads the flyer.
"WANTED FAIRY TALE CREATURES." He throws it away and goes back to his house.
Mourning in the forest, fairy tale creatures were being taken away in wagons. People line up to a table to turn in fairy tale creatures. A farmer in front of the line was turning in a witch named Willow. A guard takes away Willow's spell book.
"Hey my spell book. Give it back."
"No more spell casting for you, witch. Take her away." Said the captain as he pays the farmer.
"Burn the spell book with the other spell books, brooms and wands."
"Yes sir." Says one of the guards.
He takes Willow's spell book to be burned. Two guards took her to a wagon full with other fairy tale creatures. Guards throw brooms, spell books and wands into a bound fire. The farmer leaves after getting his money. Next in line was two villagers with elves, a wood craver named Ethan with his son, Caleb which is a living wooden boy, an old lady with a donkey named Clem, Larry a boy dressed in green has Buffy a fairy in a cage which was glowing and a peasant with three pigs under his arms.
The farmer grumbles.
"Damn only 20 pieces of silver." He walks away.
Clem looks around scared. He has a rope around his muzzle. He sees the wagon with Willow and some fairy tale creatures being carted off. Hears a cry, he turns seeing three bears in cages. The baby bear reaches for his mother crying.
"I want to go home!"
Clem looks back at the old lady.
"I'll never talk again. Please don't send me away."
"Shut up!" She hits him with her hand.
"Oww that hurt!"
Captain called out "next!" Ethan sets Caleb on the table.
"What do you have here?"
"I have here a living wooden puppet."
"I'm no wooden puppet. I'm a real boy!" Caleb's nose grows long.
"Here's Five shillings for the demonic toy. Take the thing away!
The guard take Caleb away with him to a wagon. He tells his father, Ethan "Not do this." Ethan leaves with his pay not looking back.
"Next!" Says The captain.
The old lady pulls Clem up with her.
"I got a donkey that talks."
The captain looks up from the ledger.
"Alright proof it can talk. Make it talk and that would be worth ten shillings."
Clem swallows, looks up at the old lady. She unties the rope from his muzzle.
"Come on say something lil' fella."
He looks at the captain and the old lady. The captain is waiting for it talk but nothing.
"Your wasting my time!"
The old lady gets very nervous.
"He's just shy is all. He talks all the time. Talk you damn donkey!" She hits him again.
"Enough of this. Take this crazy old bat away guards!"
She grabs his lips to make it look he is talking.
"I talk 24/7. I talk none stop."
The captain grows bored with this. He motions for the guards to take her away.
"Take her out of my sight."
The guards grab the old woman and drag her off screaming.
"I can make that damn donkey talk!" She screams.
She kicks the caged Buffy fairy out of Larry's hands. The cage goes flying in the air. It hits Clem's head as pixie dust flies out at him. He is shock that he is flying in the air.
"Hey I'm flying!"
Everyone looks up to see a donkey fly in the air.
"He's flying!" Says both Larry and the three pigs.
"That donkey can talk!" Said the captain.