An Egg Dyeing Lesson

by 1008604

Mello thinks that Near should have a little more color in his wardrobe… but Near has other ideas. Easter Fic One Shot MelloxNear R&R Please

Title: An Egg-Dyeing Lesson

Author: Hitachiin Hikaru

Fandom: Death Note

Rating: "T" just for Mello and Matt's potty mouths

Genre: Humor

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Death Note, including characters, cities, towns, scenarios, titles, or anything else about it you can think of. I just want to express my creative intent with this fic.

Summary: Mello thinks that Near should have a little more color in his wardrobe… but Near has other ideas. Easter Fic One Shot MelloxNear R&R Please

A/N: This came to mind when my friend Becca and I were trying to decide what each Death Note character would wear as an Easter costume.

Easter, usually, was a fun day for the children of the Wammy's House. It was a day where there would be no work, no classes and a nice, exciting morning of searching for eggs that the Easter Bunny hid the night before. Children would fidget in their beds in excitement for the great Easter egg hunt that was held every year, however they knew better than to try and out-hunt Near and Linda. Near, despite being very halfhearted in his attempts, managed to find more eggs than anyone in the house. Much to a certain blond's displeasure, of course. The white haired boy had to be up spying on the Easter Bunny, because he just seemed to go wherever the eggs may be.

Mello, even with Matt helping him, managed to only find one or two less eggs than Near did, which made him angrier than ever. "It's not fair," his ten-year-old mouth complained to the redhead as he sat on Matt's bed, chewing furiously at a bunny-shaped chocolate bar. "How the hell does Near know where they are? Process of elimination? Logic? Does he spy on the goddamn Easter Bunny?!" Matt held in his laughter as Mello continued to rant, knowing that any of it spilling out could mean his life. He focused on beating the next level, finally passing Mello's boast of getting to level fourteen, and sighed. That particular sound did meet the young genius's ears and he glanced sharply to his best friend. "What?"

"You know," he mentioned when the game beeped, telling him he made a new high score. "Just an observation, but doesn't Near kind of look like an egg? I mean, before you dye it and stuff. He's all white." Mello stared at him for a full minute, just kind of contemplating that statement. He bit the head off the chocolate bunny and munched on it for a moment, looking away and knocking his golden hair out of his face. When he didn't reply Matt went back to his game but Mello letting out what sounded like a shriek of laughter startled him into dropping the electronic device.

He shot Matt a look of mirth and shoved the rest of the candy into his mouth. He stated, "Actually, I think Near could use a little more color in his wardrobe." The redhead watched Mello's dark, contemplating eyes gleam wickedly for a moment before letting a grin split across his face. This is why he loved being Mello's best friend; he always got to do the best stuff and enjoy the spoils of their evil victories.

He conspired with Mello, "I know where Nancy keeps all the extra Easter egg dye. I'll go jack it all for ya." With that he stood up and rushed out of the room, trying to think which color would be best on the little white kid. Mello picked up the game boy and tossed it onto Matt's bed, moving a huge stack of clothes aside to lay back on it. This would be the best prank ever, he knew, because Near would finally get what he deserved for being such a smart prick all the time. Perhaps if he did it early enough tomorrow, the little albino might not even go hunting for eggs, leaving them all to Mello and Matt. He grinned and sat up in the bed, glancing outside lazily as the other kids dyed the remaining eggs to be set out by the Easter Bunny tonight, and for them to find tomorrow.

When Matt came back, Mello knew the perfect color to dye their little friend first thing in the morning.

"Ouch! Mello? That was my foot."

"Then walk faster, Matt! And shut up, we don't want anyone to wake up." Two black clothed figures slunk down the hallway, carrying a black painted bucket between them as they headed for a very familiar room at the end of the hall. One of the spies had blond hair sticking out of the back of his ski mask, and the other had sunglasses on the outside of his. Very incognito, yes? A light colored liquid splashed flippantly in the plastic container as they moved, slightly spilling out onto the carpet. "Careful with that Matt, we don't wanna waste any of it!" The redhead made no reply as Mello lightly pulled the entrance partially open so they could balance the bucket on top. Setting up the stepstools they brought along from the supply closet, Mello and Matt carefully placed the bucket on the thin strip of wood that made the top of the door, and then leapt down. They high-fived each other and ran down the hallway back to Matt's room, feeling pleased.

Near woke up the next morning and stretched, his mind groggy. Like normal people, Near was slightly disoriented in the mornings, only worried about going to the bathroom and then taking a shower to get ready for a day of learning things he already knew. Then he would go to the recreational room to do some puzzles and play with his LEGOs for the rest of the day before doing some homework and going to bed. Day after day, same routine, never changing since he came to Wammy's House. And because of that unchanging schedule, nothing could have prepared him for the shock that he received Easter morning when he left his room for the boy's loo.

"Okay, Mello," Matt said, holding his video camera at the ready, poised at the doorway of Mello and Near's bedroom. The blond was stationed across the door for a different angle, and saw Matt's signal that Near had begun to stir inside of the room. Grinning from ear to ear, Mello looked into the viewfinder of the camera, waiting for Near to come out and embarrass himself to the nth degree. There was slow shuffling inside as he heard the familiar sound of the pajama wearing teen made his bed, and Mello grinned, knowing his routine enough to know that he was coming out now. The two conspirers smirked at each other.

The doorknob turned slowly and the bucket tilted wildly over the side…

"…What on earth?" Mello and Matt glanced up and saw Linda staring at the pink liquid soaking across the carpet, and then turned her gaze to the two boys filming the scene. She blinked, glanced to Near, and then gasped in shock at the sight that met her blue eyes. "Near?!" The eight-year-old boy glanced around at his clothing, his dripping pink sleeve hanging before his dark eyes. His pants sagged slightly from the egg dye weighing them down, and his pink hair stuck to his head. Linda looked angrily around at the two boys and crossed her arms, waiting for an explanation. The two simply made sure they got enough footage and ran down the hallway, away from her accusing glare and from Near's confusion that he was suddenly pink enough for a bouquet.

"This is a bit of a complication," Near commented quietly, shaking his sleeve to get some of the excess dye off of it and onto the equally pink carpet. Linda watched as he shuffled down the hallway and glanced in the mirror, twirling his pink hair between his fingers, the action squeezing some of the extra liquid from the strands. He glanced to Linda who was still looking upset, and entered his room, changing his clothes and coming back out completely white except his hair. The girl bit her lip as the two of them left the hallway and headed towards the dining room for breakfast. His hair attracted attention the moment he entered, the bright sun simply magnifying the brightness of the fluorescent coloring of the dye.

"Ah, Near?" one girl named Byzantine asked him softly, watching his hair in confusion. "Um, I didn't know that you liked to dye your hair… um… pink." Linda sighed and pointed to Matt and Mello, who were laughing at their video cameras, replaying the moment the bucket fell over and over. Byzantine shook her head in annoyance and sat down with Linda and another girl with black hair named Aero, leaving Near to sit alone as usual and eat his Fruit Loops. He heard a few of the kids snickering, and he had a slight idea at what they might be laughing at. Though they had many faults that he could point out within a few short seconds, with a great amount of ease. He bites his nails, he picks his nose, and that one really needs some acne cream, he thought with uncharacteristic ire, trying to concentrate on making his spoon go from the bowl to his mouth and nothing else.

However he couldn't act unknowing forever, for one of them passed by and sneered, "Nice hair, Pinky." He turned around and saw a few of the other boys walking by him with straight faces, however it was obvious that they were the offenders of the slander. Ignoring it, he went back to his food silently. Mello and Matt were editing their film on Matt's stolen laptop, making quite the film experience for their peers to enjoy during TV time at the end of the day. Linda stood up and stormed over to Near, grabbing him by the shirt and spinning him around in his chair.

"Oi, Near," she whispered to him, getting close to his face. He looked slightly surprised, though not duly so as most males would be seeing a girl inches from their faces. "We have to get Mello and Matt back for what they did to you!" He didn't look particularly into that idea, more interested in his breakfast than revenge. Near didn't want to stoop down to their levels, didn't want to demean himself by falling to their ploys and enacting his own wicked plot on their persons and inflict humiliation for the next two weeks or so. Children were so easy to predict. They would find something to tease and laugh at for about a fortnight before moving down to the next potential victim and throwing them for a loop.

He replied, taking another bite of a rather familiarly pink piece of cereal, "No thank you, Linda. I'm perfectly all right with those two acting like children. I'd really rather not degrade myself by enacting revenge for something so juvenile."

"But I'm not!" she insisted, sitting on the chair next to him and pressing a finger into his chest to show her insistence and eagerness to do exactly what he didn't want to do. "That was such a mean thing they did to you, so they deserve to have the same thing done to them! I say we dye Mello and Matt, too!"

The boy sighed and glanced to her with a surrendering look. "Since you're obviously not going to let this go," he asserted, and Linda perked up, clapping her hands together in excitement. "I would propose a slightly different way of going about pulling a prank on them." She watched him in confusion, then smiled. Near was a genius after all, which meant any prank that he decided to endorse would most definitely be a lot better planned out than some metal bucket balancing precariously on top of a door.

…:oOo:…

"Nice job," Mello congratulated Matt as they headed towards the most used TV room, a DVD in his hands as he talked with his best friend. "I didn't think you could distract Roger enough for me to use his DVD burner." Matt let out a laugh as they turned the corner still going on about how great they were. Mello blinked and glanced around, seeing that there was no one in this hallway, which was weird since this was the main thoroughfare between parts of the house. Maybe the kids were outside to search early today? They probably didn't purposely ignore Roger on a daily basis like the two of them, so they probably knew something they didn't. Oh well. They could still set up the tape and play it when they get back from the hunt.

Matt walked past Mello and glanced back at his friend, waiting until the blond caught up with him and they strolled down the hall together. "GO!" they heard someone shout, and suddenly saw something gooey falling around them. The chocolate eating genius slipped on the melted, liquid marshmallow and landed on his rear, dragging Matt down with him as the two flailed about on the marble ground. "What the…?!" Mello cursed, trying to stand up with his best friend hanging on his arm, unable to get up without some help from the older blond. "What the bloody hell is this?"

"Time for the scrumptious sugar!" the same voice said cheerfully, and the sticky twosome felt purple colored sugar raining from the ceiling onto them, making them fall over again. Matt rolled over and pulled his goggles up after his felt whatever was falling on them stop coming, and glanced around to figure out what just happened to them just then. His world was one large purple cloud of sweetness that moment, and he stared as a giant Peep stood up and shook its hair out, trying to figure out what was going on.

The once redhead exclaimed, once he realized who exactly said giant Peep was, "Mello, you're a Peep."

The once blond retorted back furiously, taking that rather offensively, "I didn't fucking know that, loser." Matt stood up shakily and took a misstep, slipping up on the gooey white stuff and toppling headlong into Mello, causing the two of them to go sliding down the hall into the next room. They heard amused laughter and glared up to see Linda and Near sitting identically in the chairs in the TV room, the former giggling madly at the sight of the two boys covered in marshmallow and purple sugar and the latter watching them intently through his cherry colored bangs, his face impassive. Mello stood up in a mad fury and gripped the front of his white shirt, glaring like a madman at the newly made pink haired boy. Matt and Linda glanced to each other at the same time, both thinking the same exact thing. Mello might kill Near…! "I should have known this was you!!"

Near made no reply to his statement, simply stuck his finger in Mello's outer coating and popped it into his mouth. He licked it clean for a moment and shot Mello a cordial smile. "You taste good," he mentioned, and Mello blushed red, turning on heel and dragging Matt away as far as he could. Near's sharp hearing heard something about their DVD and he pulled something pink from his shirt. "Mello." The blond glanced back and spotted the horridly pink disc, cocking an eyebrow. "I wouldn't play that tape, unless you'd wish for myself and Linda to play this one." He held up a DVD and Mello growled, storming away to go take a nice, long shower, Matt in tow, the redhead mumbling about how it'd be difficult to pick up chicks looking like a giant, purple piece of candy.

…:oOo:…

"Like usual, Near and Linda got the most eggs," Mello sneered acerbically, throwing his own basket, plastic and hardboiled eggs along for the ride, into a rather kosher brick wall. Matt and he sat on the picnic table as Near and Linda counted their eggs, the former with a white hat on his head to hide the rather distracting pink colored hair. The girl looked excited at their store as they put them back in the basket, and Mello finally had enough of it. He stood up and strode over to Near, leaving Matt behind to play his game. Linda had run over to the person dressed like the Easter Bunny, who had a very familiar way of walking, and horrendous posture, leaving the number one genius to sit and play with his finds. "You're such a prick Near."

He glanced up to Mello, who was also wearing a hat, a baseball cap, to hide the purple marshmallow still stuck to his hair. "There's no need for name calling simply because you are a sore loser," he responded simply, twirling the few pieces of hair sticking out of the beanie in his fingers. Mello rolled his eyes and crossed his arms furiously, glaring at the boy, trying to see if that would get a reaction out of him. It didn't, which made him even angrier, and kicked his basket over. Near glanced up at Mello who had dropped down to sit beside him, tearing a large chunk out of his chocolate bunny's head. Before the blond could yell at him, Near pressed a short kiss to his lips and pulled back, contemplating something; Mello didn't even have enough time to look surprised. "You taste just like I thought Mello. Like chocolate and marshmallow."

Mello, trying not to stutter and still look mad at the same time, responded, "And you taste just like I thought Near. Bland and pink. I already know I taste good, I don't need you to say it again." With that he stood up and stormed away, kicking as many of Near's eggs as he could away while he headed back to where he left Matt. Though it seemed, when Matt saw him coming back with a hand brushing his lips and a smirk on his face, that this Easter was a tad better than the last one.