Azula wasn't sure what she was supposed to be feeling as she left the insane asylum. Pride, happiness… sadness as she recalled the crying fourteen yearold girl, who thought she had lost everything. She had lost her mother, her brother, her friends… and she was sure that she had also lost her father, seeing as he would be disappointed in her for losing her crown. Against her brother.
Azula wasn't supposed to disappoint her father. She was supposed to his perfect daughter, princess and heir. But she had let him down – and she cried since she knew she would never regain his love. She would be alone forever.
Azula sighed as she turned her back on the building that had been here home and prison for more than a year. She now knew that she wasn't alone. Zuko had visited her every week, what had annoyed her and frustrated her and enraged her at first. Later she realised that he might still care a little for her. He kept coming back, which meant that she wouldn't have to be alone.
Azula hadn't seen her father ever since she had lost against her brother. She had scarcely been outside the enclosed properiety of the insane asylem. Zuko had only taken her outside for two times, allowing her to see how the Fire Nation had changed. And now she was allowed to go. Zuko smiled at her as she walked towards her palanquin, ready to go to the palace again.
0o0o0
'Azula… you can't be serious.'
Azula felt guilty as she stared at the mortified face of her brother. She could read his face like a book. He was scared that Ozai would regain his control over her, that he would manipulate her and turn her against him - and a part of him was also wondering if it all had been a trick.
'I won't let him get in my head,' she said.
Zuko glared at her. 'No offense, but I'm not sure if I can believe that.'
Azula crossed her arms in front of her chest. 'Things have changed, Zuko. I'm no longer desperate fore his approval.'
Zuko didn't respond, but Azula saw the disbelief in his eyes. She sighed. 'Come along if you want to,' she whispered. 'But, Zuko…' She shook her head as she tried to recollect her thoughts. 'He's still our father,' she said.
Zuko raised his head. 'He's not,' he snapped. 'He's the entire reason… of everything! He tried to kill me… and he manipulated you in becoming his…'
'His what?' Azula asked.
Zuko didn't finish his sentence. 'I don't want you anywhere near him,' he said. 'You've just recovered.'
'You can't keep me away from him forever,' Azula said. 'I want to see him.'
Zuko seemed to overthink her words. 'Why?' he asked eventually. Azula stared at him sceptically, but ZUko really didn't seem to get it.
'You've said it yourself,' Azula muttered. 'He's the reason for everything. He made me who I am. If I want to get better, to really get better, I need to see him.'
Zuko stayed silent for a while. 'Fine,' he sighed eventually. He glared at his younger sister. 'But I'm coming with you.'
0o0o0
'I can't believe it,' Ozai said. He voice had changed – it was less harsh, less refined – but just as dangerous as Azula remember it to be. 'My two children, finally rewarding me with a visit.'
There was a accusatory tone in his voice. Azula's first instinct was to apology, to mutter 'excuse me father', as she would have done before the comet, as if nothing had changed. But she bit her lip instead, waiting for Zuko to respond.
The silence felt thick with nostalgia. 'Father,' Azula finally said.
'Azula,' Ozai responded. 'I'm surprised you're standing here with you brother. I had never thought that you would pick his side.'
'I haven't,' Azula said. 'I have never betrayed you. They locked me up as well.'
'But you're here now,' Ozai said. '
'I am,' Azula said. 'They've let me go. I've learned of my mistakes.' She swallowed. The conversation wasn't going in the direction that she had planned. 'I wanted to see you,' she said.
'Some father-daughter bonding time is long overdue, I agree,' Ozai said. 'But I assume your brother won't leave you alone.'
'He won't,' Azula admitted. 'He's afraid you'll get in my head again.' She sighed. 'He's probably right.' She looked at her brother, who tried to keep a calm face. The worry and distrust in his eyes was clearly visible.
Azula looked at her father again. The man that she had admired – she had strived to become like him, to make him proud.
Azula had prepared a speech for him. She had wanted to tell him that he was no longer the spill of her existence. That it had been wrong for him to train her to be merciless and unforgiving, to put ideas of her brothers inferiority in her head.
'i'm not going to be Fire Lord, clearly,' Azula said. 'And that might be best for me. Politics and military – it is what I was raised to do so. I never even asked myself if I was interested in it… but when I was locked away I had a lot of time to think. And… I do like it. Politcs, I mean. But Zuko would be a fool to give allow me to go into politcs anytime soon, so… I'm going to teach Fire Bending. At the Fire Nation Academy for Girls.'
Azula smiled cautiously, not wanting to look at her father. She knew he would be disappointed. She wasn't wrong.
'Are you planning to corrupt young girls now, Azula?' Ozai asked. 'You're not seriously going to teach them, are you? You're way above that. You're royalty.'
Azula didn't respond.
'What a sad story,' Ozai said. 'Look at us! Less than two years ago, we were the two most powerful people in the world. And now...'
'I think it's time to go,' Zuko said.
Azula looked at her father. 'I'm sorry that I'm a disappointment to you,' she said. 'I've never wanted that.'
Zuko looked at his sister worriedly, but she avoided his gazed and left the room.
0o0o0
'Hello father,' Azula said. 'It's just me, this time. Zuko's finally starting to trust me again, so he doesn't feel the need to accompany me everywhere I go.'
'And is he right to do so?' Ozai asked.
'I hope so,' Azula responded. 'I'm not going to betray his trust.' They were no longer ennemies, after all. Azula had given up on becoming Fire Lord - and she was sure it was the right decision. For the first time in her life, she felt at peace. She walked towards Ozais cell, sitting down so they were at the same level.
'Then why are you here?' Ozai growled at her. Azula was startled by the venom in his voice.
'I wanted to talk to you,' Azula said, trying not to show her discomfort.
Ozai waited.
'Uncle has opened a tea shop,' Azula said.
Her father huffed. 'Are you here to gossip with me?' he asked.
Azula raised an eyebrow. 'You don't want me to keep you up-to-date?' she asked. Her father looked at her in silence before bowing his head, indicating her to continue.
'He only works there part time, seeing as he's also busy helping Zuko… and helping me, surprisingly,' Azula said. She looked at her father, waiting for another hateful comment, but he stayed silent. 'One day a week, he comes to my Fire Bending lessons,' Azula continued. 'The girls love him, of course - they all like his stupid Dragon of the West performance.' She had to surpress a small smile, remember the last time he had been her 'humble assistent'. 'And I... I guess I don't hate him anymore,' she said. 'I sometimes go to his shop and he always gives me free tea.'
'It's ironic, really,' Ozai said. 'My brother lost his only son and my two children are still alive. But it seems that he's the one having a daughter and a son nowadays.'
0o0o0
'We've found mother,' Azula said. She offered her father a cup of tea, a ritual that now accompanied her weekly visits.
'Is that why I haven't seen you for weeks?' her father asked, taking the cup from her hands.
Azula nodded, trying not to feel guilty. 'It was so strange, seeing her again,' she admitted. 'I've always hating her and I thought she hated me too. It was what drove me mad, really.' She sipped from her tea.
'And?' Ozai asked.
'It turns out that I don't hate her anymore,' Azula said. 'It's no longer part of who I am.' Azula thought back at the conversation she had with her mother. Strangely enough, Azula didn't feel the need to prove herself to her mother. She just wanted her to be a part of her life - and it seemed that the feeling was mutual. Azula smiled. 'We look so much alike,' she continued. 'And although she's old, she's still pretty. I guess that's good news for me, huh?'
Ozai didn't respond.
'She has returned to the palace,' Azula said. 'It's so weird, knowing that she's waiting for me at home…'
'We'll I be seeing her?' Ozai asked. The question startled Azula.
'I don't think so,' she admitted.
Ozai was silent while drinking his tea. 'Why do you keep visiting me?' he asked after finishing.
'I'm not sure,' Azula responded. 'Probably because you're my family. And I don't want you to be alone.' She knew what that felt like, after all.
0o0o0
'I have good news,' Azula said while sitting down. She smiled brightly, not capable of hiding her joy.
Ozai raised one eyebrow. 'Is that so?' he muttered.
'Yes,' Azula said cheerily. She waited for her father to ask her what the good news was and sighed when that didn't happen. 'I'm engaged,' she said.
Ozai's face didn't change at all. He looked at his daughter as if he was looking at bare wall. Azula's smile disappeared from her face.
'Who are you marrying?' Ozai asked.
Azula blushed. 'Sokka,' she said.
Ozai raised his eyebrows. 'You're not only marrying outside of the Fire Nation, you're also marrying a peasant,' he said. 'How we have fallen.'
His words didn't seem to hurt Azula, which in turn seemed to frustrate - or hurt? - her father.
'We're not entirely sure as to how we're getting married,' Azula said. 'We want a mix of Fire Nation and Water Tribe traditions. Sokka has agreed to marrying in the Fire Nation. And he also approved of marrying the summer – but we'll marry during a full moon. It's supposed to bring luck.'
She waited, giving Ozai the opportunity to mumble that she would need a lot of luck, but he stayed quiet.
'You're not going to congratulate me?' she asked. She didn't need his blessing - she was not marrying Sokka to get his approval - but he was still her father.
'No,' Ozai responded. 'It's not the life I imagined you'd have.' Ozai looked at the woman that once was his heir. 'I never cared much for being a father,' he said. 'But I had never thought I wouldn't be allowed to see my own daughter get married.'
0o0o0
'It won't be long until the baby is born, I reckon,' Ozai asked, seeing how his daughter had difficulty sitting down. He actually tried to help her, reaching to grab her arms through the bars. It was the first time he tried to touch her.
'Thanks, dad,' Azula said surprised.
'They should've gotten you a chair,' Ozai grunted. Azula shrugged.
'I'm fine,' she said.
'Your child might be the next in line for the throne,' Ozai said. 'They should take better care of you.'
Azula laughed. 'They take really good care of me,' she said, happily caressing her stomach. She contemplated asking Ozai if he wanted to feel the baby kicking. It was his grandchild, after all - and Azula wasn't sure if he would ever be allowed to see it. Sokka hated her father and although Azula didn't think he would do harm to his own grandchild - she didn't think he would be capable of doing that, since he had lost his bending and she was the strongest bender of her time - he wouldn't want his child to meet Ozai. Azula wasn't sure if she could or should blame Sokka.
Ozai pondered the question before asking it. 'So you're doing well?' he asked. 'Are you happy?'
Azula wasn't sure what was wrong with her father. He had never asked her that question before. It wasn't a hard question. Her life wasn't exactly what she had imagined it to be. She wasn't Fire Lord, the Fire Nation didn't rule the world and she wasn't the one to finally melt the North Pole. Instead, she had married a Water Tribe peasant who adored her, she was two weeks away from giving birth to their first child and she was respected as a powerful bender and Princess of the Fire Nation. She was part of Zuko's counsil, she had regained Mai's and Ty Lee's thrust and her mother kept showering her with gifts for her grandchild.
'Yes,' she responded. 'I am.' She tried to search for a motivation for his question, but she couldn't find one.'
'Good,' Ozai responded. 'I'm glad.'