Ana Takes the Upper Hand
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Tomorrow
Date: June 8 2011 14:05
To: Anastasia Steele
Dear Anastasia
Forgive this intrusion at work. I hope that it's going well. Did you get my flowers?
I note that tomorrow is the gallery opening for your friend's show, and I'm sure you've not had time to purchase a car, and it's a long drive. I would be more than happy to take you – should you wish.
Let me know.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
I take a deep breath. Christian has reached out again to me. First the flowers he sent and now this email. I read and re-read the email at least a dozen times. If I accept his offer to take me to Jose's show, I know what will happen. All of the resolve I have gained over these last agonizing days to honour myself and and not be in a relationship of fear will be gone. One look at him, the briefest touch of skin, even a soft whisper uttered from his lips and I will succumb. Walking out on him was the hardest things I have ever had to do. I have been wracked with excruciating doubt. On the one hand, my subconscious is resting comfortably in the knowledge that an abusive partner has no place in my life. My inner goddess, on the other hand, has been rattling me inside and out shrieking 'what the hell did you do, Ana? The hottest, most dynamic man to walk on the face of the earth wanted you, chose you, made the most sublime love to you…and you let him go? ARE YOU CRAZY? shescreams.
Count with me, Ana. Four. Five. I can still feel the sting of his slaps on my behind. Worse, I can still hear the sound of his voice as he was inflicting pain on me in his playroom.
I hit reply:
From: Anastasia Steele
To: Christian Grey
Subject: Jose's show
Thank you for the offer to take me to Jose's show tomorrow night, Christian. I'll have to decline.
The roses you sent me are lovely. They have been a pleasure to look at over these last dark days.
Ana
Assistant to Editor Jack Hyde
Hit send, Ana. My subconscious urges me on. Now...before you change your message, she pleads.
I hit send and pray that Christian does not reply.
Ping. He has replied.
From: Christian Grey
To: Anastasia Steele
Subject: You're welcome
Ana,
How will you get to Portland? I really don't mind bringing you.
I am glad you liked the flowers.
I can't stop thinking about you.
Christian
CEO Grey Enterprise Holdings, Inc.
With that, I shut down my email, grab my purse and go ask Jack if I could take an early lunch. With his consent, I leave SIP and make my way to the cell phone store just outside our building. Minutes later, I emerge with my brand new Blackberry in hand. I quickly call both Mom and Ray and leave messages for each of them with my new phone number. Next, I make my way over to the bank where I deposit the cheque Christian wrote me for Wanda's sale. Finally, I arrive at a car rental agency and walk out a short while later with a week's rental on a blue Toyota Prius. I will get to Jose's show on my own. I need to start moving on with my post- Christian life. The problem is I want him in my life. Badly.
End of Chapter 1
Chapter 2
The crowd here seems just as impressed as I am with Jose's gift for photography. I am standing around looking at all of Jose's impressive photos wondering why he never showed any of them to me before. I was really surprised to see the wall of photos of me he has taken over the years. Wow, I thought, as I was staring at the photos, I couldn't believe he included all of these in his show. Strangely enough, I arrived only ten minutes after the start of the show when Jose ran up to me excitedly announcing that he had already sold a lot of his work. Little did I know the pieces he sold were all of me. Who would want pictures of me, I wonder as I make my way outside for some fresh air.
I haven't eaten all day except for a latte this morning and a banana earlier this afternoon. I am feeling a bit tired from the long drive and from my many sleepless nights. My feet hurt more than usual these days now that I am wearing high heels a lot more to work. I take a seat on a bench right in front of the gallery and close my eyes. I wish I were curled up in my bed right now, I think. For some reason I feel someone watching me so I open my eyes and look around. There, on my left, like a vision, I see Christian. He is standing right in front of my parked Prius, dressed in a navy suit, crisp white shirt and the grey tie that I love. His eyes, his smoky eyes, are staring at me. But the frown above his eyes becomes more pronounced as he watches me. What is he doing here, I ask myself. Why did he come all this way? My inner goddess pokes me out of my trance. She hisses. Get over there, Ana. Go to him. This time I decide that I need to listen to her.
With the little strength I have left in me, I manage to pull myself off my feet, take a deep breath, run my fingers through my hair and make my way slowly towards Christian. It takes every effort in me not to bolt and jump right into his arms. But I restrain myself. He watches me intently as I approach him. He is not smiling. I'm not smiling either.
"Were you the person who bought all of Jose's photos of me?" I snap. Where the hell did that come from, Ana. My inner goddess is not impressed.
"Have you gone on a famine strike, Ana?", Christian snaps back.
"Stalker!" I glare at him.
"Ana, my gawd. Just look at you. You've lost so much weight. You need to eat right now. Let's go!" Christian grabs my hand in his and begins to pull me alongside him on the sidewalk. And he's back, control-freak Christian.
But this time I stop him.
"What are you doing here, Christian?". I let go of his hand.
With the quickest turn, he stops, turns around and pulls me up close to him. With both of his hands around my waist, he leans into me so that his lips rest on my ear. I shudder inside.
"Ana, I needed to see you. You don't understand how much I've missed you", he whispers.
That's it. Those words seep right down into my very core and begin their oh-so-familiar melting effect. I want to crumble right this instant in his arms. I want to soak in his scent and bask in it forever. I long for his full mouth to meet mine and kiss me madly. God, I want him so much. I close my eyes. And what do I see?
His hand. Spanking me. Hard. In the playroom.
I freeze. I look up at him and take one step back. I pull away from him.
"I can't, Christian." I pause. "You hurt me", I say not taking my eyes off him.
Christian gasps. He takes a step towards me. He reaches his hands towards my face, cups my jaw in his palms and looks down at me.
"I know I hurt you, Ana. I am so sorry, baby," he utters ever so softly.
I am free flowing molten lava now. His words, like a balm, soothe my wounded heart and soul.
Eight. Nine. Count with me, Ana. Spank. I recall ever so vividly.
"Christian, please don't touch me, ". I manage to take yet another step back, away from him. My subconscious is beaming with pride. You go, girl. Be strong.
"I'm sorry, Ana. Can we sit and talk over dinner? Please."
"I came to support Jose's show. I am not leaving so soon", I say. Way to go, Ana. If Christian really wants to talk to you, he can wait.
"Fine. I'll wait. Take as long as you like", he quickly replies.
With that, I pull my purse closer to me and walk right back in the gallery. Head held high, I do not look back.
Christian can wait.
End of Chapter 2
Chapter 3
I head straight for the ladies' room. I am as shaky as a leaf. I splash some water on my face and stare at myself in the mirror. You did it, Ana. You stayed strong. Strong as a pillar, my subconscious grins. He came all this way to see you, Ana. Don't mess this up, my inner goddess grits through clenched teeth. I dry my face off and re-apply some lipgloss and mascara. If I am going to stay strong, I need to look confident. Back in to Jose's show, I go.
Once there, I quickly recognize a few of Jose's friends from WSU and make my way over to say hello. Socializing with strangers is the last thing I feel like doing right now, especially with Christian in such close proximity. But, I told him I wasn't leaving.
"Hi, John. Remember me? I'm Jose's friend, Ana. We met at Jose's birthday party last year".
"Yes, yes. I remember you, Ana. How are you doing? I recognized you from Jose's photos on the wall over there. They are gorgeous shots. All sold in the first five minutes of the show tonight, I heard. Someone must have really admired them".
I think about Christian. Too-rich-for-words Christian. Yes, he bought all of them, I think to myself…so no one else would.
"Well, it's great to see you again, John", I say as I start walking away. And, as I do, out of the corner of my eye, I see Christian standing at the bar, drink in hand, staring at me.
Let him wait, I remind myself. Just then, my new Blackberry buzzes from inside my purse. As I reach in to fish it out of my bag, I feel Christian's eyes on me. I look down at the screen and see that it's Mom calling.
"Hi, Mom! You got my message!", I say as I answer the phone. Christian is watching.
"Hi, Ana. Where have you been, darling? I've been calling you for days and all I have been getting is your voicemail".
"I know, Mom. I'm sorry about that. I got a new phone and a new number. Long story", I say as I roll my eyes. Christian has likely noted the eye rolling.
"Is everything all right, dear? How's your new job going?", Mom asks.
I glance over at Christian sitting at the bar staring at me talking on my new Blackberry. I realize he doesn't have my new number. Let him wait for it, my good ol' subconscious unfailingly reminds me. Oh Ana, look at him over there- mustering all the patience he doesn't have…go over…talk to him, my inner goddess grunts back.
"Ana? Are you there, honey?". It's Mom calling me back to earth.
"Oh, yes, Mom, Everything's fine. My new job is going great. Look, Mom, I'm at Jose's photo exhibit right now and can't really talk. Can I call you on the weekend when we can catch up?" Luckily, Mom agrees and I hang up in time. She didn't get the chance to ask me about Christian.
He is still staring at me. I turn my body away from him and look out to the crowd of people admiring Jose's prints. Like them, I marvel at how talented he is.
"I see that you've gotten a new Blackberry". It's Christian's voice. He is standing right beside me. Here he is again, Ana. Don't send him away, my inner goddess warns.
"Yes, I have. I figure I can't be cut off from the rest of the world forever". I reply without turning to look at him.
"How has your first week of work been?", he asks.
I turn to look at him. He really is so beautiful. Sculpted jaw, smoky eyes, slight stubble and all that tousled hair… the effect he has on me. He is simply breathtaking.
Eleven. Count, Ana.
"Work has been just the distraction I've needed. Exactly what the doctor ordered". I answer.
"Doctor? Have you seen a doctor? Is everything all right?", Christian asks with concern.
"Dr. Heartache, specialist in all matters of broken hearts", I reply, not taking my eyes off him.
"Sounds highly qualified. Is Dr. Heartache helping?"
I pause. "Not at all", I say. I feel my resolve weakening. I need him so badly.
Just then, Jose walks right up to us.
"How are you enjoying the show tonight? It really means a lot to me that you came to my show, Ana. Thank you so much", Jose says looking directly at me, not acknowledging Christian at all.
"For you, Jose, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. You deserve all this success", I say. Beside me, Christian doesn't flinch.
"Listen, Jose. It 's about that time when I need to be leaving. I have a long drive back to Seattle and work in the morning. Good luck with the rest of the evening. Here's my new number- keep in touch, okay?"
"Of course, Ana. Always", Jose says as he pulls out his phone and punches in the number I give him. I feel Christian's close presence beside me. He's not saying a word. He's not rolling his eyes. Christian has been waiting patiently.
With that thought in mind, I reach for Christian's hand and lead him out the door.
End of chapter 3