Title: Dare Shall Be Carried
Rating: PG-13
Characters are not mine I am just borrowing.
F/F warnings.
A/N: This is a round about sequel to In My Way There's You.
Sally Po stared into the blue depths of her good eye and then splashed her face with icy water. She then continued staring into her reflection. Her other eye was scarred over with skin that had once been quite badly burned. She tried not to mock the attempts to get her to try one of the newer and aesthetically pleasing electronic eyes, that were just now available to the public, in her head. Everyone meant well, even Relena's gentle prompting about a glass eye was well intentioned, full of care.
Sally wanted her scars. She wanted the ugliness of them, the measure of them.
She took a breath and splashed her face with water again.
It had been a good year since the Preventor headquarters had been attacked. Everyone who was going to be was healed from his or her physical wounds, the psychiatric wounds would take much more time, but she tried to remind herself that that wasn't her area of concern. She needed to think about herself. It was harder to do than she expected.
Nichol used the same expression over and over, "Physician, heal thy self."
Wufei decided the best he could do for her was to be absolutely brutal in helping her to take into account her rearranged depth perception. His tactics were more along the lines of what Sally needed. He would call her weak and she would have to prove him wrong. Once she had been so angry she managed to pin him down, and he had laughed and said, "You're getting there."
She huffed and pulled a small hand towel towards her. She pulled it over her face to help dry it. Then she picked up her eye patch and placed it with care over her left eye. She stared at her reflection again. What had Nichol said?
Sally shook her head, not quite remembering. It was something about looking like a romantic figure, and perhaps she did. It certainly did not detract from her beauty, but it added to the heavier look in her features. She had once been called so light and cool. She didn't see much of the change, noting that it was there only because so many others brought it up to her.
She was wounded. She was recovering. Those who knew her in the slightest way felt that the wounds she suffered did not come from that fateful day at headquarters. They had been there before, now they just floated on the surface of her features, edged into the corner of her smile, the color of her eye.
Standing with her arms on her hips she considered her reflection once more. Then she walked into her room and put on her dress uniform. There was a funeral to attend. There was comfort to be given.
*****
Une always slept, even when split and as the lady, like a soldier, her back flat against the mattress and lightly. It always surprised her when others with a military background could sleep curled to one side, or more precisely, she marveled at the way Sally had slept. Sally, who would curl and tangle herself around Une in a loving and possessive aura of warmth every night. Except now there was a distinct chill, despite the temperature controlled room and blankets, because Sally wasn't there. She hadn't been for at least two years.
It was because of the distance, and because of absence.
Une couldn't always be there, even though she wanted to be, because of her duty, her job. She had tried, and she did not shoulder all of the blame. Sally, too, had, in ways, been absent. They had blamed the distance, the many missions that separated them from each other for weeks and months at a time. When at last they could be together again there was a perceived coldness that took too long to melt away.
She sighed in the darkness of her room and rolled over. The red numbers of the clock reflected back the time on the colony and the time on earth. She reached out to the empty space next to her and then rolled back to her place. Her flight for earth would be leaving early in the morning. It was already two, and so Une got out of bed and took a shower. She would get herself some breakfast and then catch her flight. She could take her time, and she tried to find pleasure in the small treat of having time.
Sally would be going to the funeral. Sally would be comforting the families, and in her uniform, wielding her injury (that black eye patch) like a prize, she would be more effective than Une ever could be.
Would Sally ever be convinced that Une was doing everything except running away? Couldn't she see that she wasn't? That she was merely doing what she had to do in her life?
Une suddenly felt herself regretting her decision to end the relationship. It crept up and tangled around her the way Sally used to.
*****
Nichol and Trowa had dragged Sally into the bar, literally tugging on her arm to get her to enter the establishment. Someone ordered her a glass of orange juice which she pushed away after staring at it for five minutes. She went up to the bar and ordered a shot of bourbon while the boys busied themselves at a pool table.
She drank it down and savored the sweet burn.
After two more shots Sally made a miniature pyramid with the glasses and then stalked over to where the boys were playing pool. She watched from her corner, leaning into the wall with her arms crossed over her chest as Nichol and Trowa argued over the rules for nine ball. She tried to remember that they were just friends and not a married couple with the way the two happily argued, poked fun, and eventually reached a truce. She had yet to figure out if Nichol was looking for mister or miss right, but Trowa was convinced that it was probably both. Sally wasn't sure she could see Nichol sharing that well, but ultimately took comfort in not having an answer.
There was music playing that was piped into the rest of the bar from an antique looking jukebox. The first gentle chords of a song began and Sally shut her eye tightly before quickly pulling Nichol over to the dance floor. Somewhat shocked at the notion Nichol found himself giving in, realizing quickly that Sally wasn't really looking for a dancing partner so much as someone to hold onto as she kept her eye closed and rocked back and forth on her feet to the music. Trowa was at first amused and then concerned, Trying to determine the look on Nichol's face as the song played through.
When the song ended Sally pushed Nichol away and said, "Thank you."
"Not...Not a problem." His brow pulled down in concern and then he asked, "Why me?"
Sally shook her head and tried to smile. It was the saddest smile Nichol had seen.
"You're taller than me," Sally said and turned towards the bar and another three shots of top shelf bourbon.
She leaned into the bar as she looked at the three full shot glasses. Trowa joined her, silent for a moment before ordering his own drink.
"She's back, you know?" Trowa said. "You could-"
"No." Sally said softly, sternly. "No, not yet."
He nodded and then took his drink and went back to the pool table.
Sally finished her shots, rebuilding her pyramid to include the new glasses, and then walked over to a table to sit down. She sat back in her chair and tried to ignore the songs playing on the jukebox, and the conversations of the people around her. She should have been having fun, instead she was on her way to being completely drunk and brooding. She was wasting her time on misery, but she wasn't sure there was another way she wanted to feel at that moment.
The boys joined her at the table and offered to take her home if she wasn't feeling up to staying out late. She smiled, and nodded, agreeing that she needed to get out of the bar. When she stepped out of the bar it started to rain and she laughed. She staggered along with the boys to the car and she decided, right there, that she had had enough. She was tired of wasting time.
*****
A fight had broken out in the main quad of the Preventor headquarters. Whoever had started the fight, and what the main issue was, was immediately lost amid the chaos of the brawl that was ensuing. Senior staff and other Preventors were hastily called in to help break up the row. Sally was dodging and weaving punches from Preventors who did not recognize her, while subduing brawlers and making an attempt to stop the fighting. A loud whistle indicated that Preventor S.W.A.T. had arrived and Sally gently plucked up a few recognizable members of her staff to pull to safety as the fight was now easily quelled by the threat of the oncoming S.W.A.T..
Sally dusted off her pants as most of the brawlers were written up or taken into custody. She took a deep breath and surveyed the scene, trying to pick out what it was that had started everything. Nothing leapt immediately to mind. It could have been anything, and it only got out of hand as others joined to defend their friends, while some used the moment as an excuse to air past grievances.
She looked up and saw Lady Une looking down from the window of her office. Even from her vantage point on the ground Sally could see the ire on the lady's face. There would be serious disciplinary action taken, no doubt of that.
With a huff Sally turned to face the three members of her staff she had saved from being arrested. She crossed her arms over her chest and said, "Before I decide what to do with you three I want to hear firsthand what dragged you into this mess."
The female officer nodded and said, "We came into it late, but we only started because some Specials bastard had McCormick in a headlock and wouldn't let him go."
Sally arched an eyebrow and nodded. "There's going to be hell to pay for this. You two are dismissed for the day, but you will be in my office bright and early. Is that understood?"
The medical officers saluted, and then realized what they had done. The girl whispered, "Sorry, force of habit."
"Indeed."
With her staff members dismissed Sally walked towards the medical wing, stopped short by an officer with an order for her to go directly to Lady Une's office.
And so, Sally thought, I suppose, it is time.
****
Lady Une stood at her window and looked down at the quad were the fight had taken place. She was frowning and her right fist was clenched tightly. The sound of her secretary announcing Sally's arrival pulled vaguely at her senses, but it took a minute before she could actually turn around. She looked Sally over and motioned for her to take a seat. Then she strode over to her desk and rested back into her chair.
"Did you get anything out of those two?" She asked.
"Nothing useful. They were rushing in to help someone else from medical."
Une nodded. She sat forward and rested her elbows on the desk, and then she thought better of it and sat up straighter. "How did the service go?"
"About as well as it could." Sally crossed her legs and took a deep breath. "There's still a lot of work to be done around here."
"Yes." She tried not to focus on the eye patch, or the scar on Sally's cheek that was almost invisible now. The thought of the injury existing still made her angry even though the perpetrators of the attack had long since been punished. It wasn't enough.
"Is there anything else?" Sally asked, coolly.
Une nodded, but then said, "Nothing we should discuss here."
"Ah, well, then there is nothing else." Sally stood up.
"Sally..." Une began, and then shook her head. "You are dismissed."
Sally nodded, walking out of the office in a quick and purposeful stride.
******
Sally had become an accidental regular at the bar, and she blamed Trowa and Nichol because they just wanted to see her have fun. And she did have fun. She was in the sanctity of the bar and pool table, lighter in mood than she had been. She smiled more there, and laughed more. She was the old Sally, though she never felt she had ever been anything knew, but she recognized what it was that people expected of her. She saw what it was that people wanted and needed her to be. It made her laugh, and it made her a little sad that she couldn't always oblige those she loved. There were times when dark and moody Sally had t be given free reign. There were times when light and cool Sally had to step aside because the situation made it necessary.
She leaned over the pool table to line up her shot, a familiar song came on and she shut her eye, missing the shot. She stepped back from the table and handed over her pool cue to Nichol. He took it and watched her lean into the wall for support. He and Trowa were beginning to hate that song, and talked amongst themselves about pulling it out of the jukebox and perhaps using it for target practice. Sally would have been disappointed if they ever took that action. She needed that song. She needed it to hurt her, because the more she heard it the easier it was for her to deal with when she heard it next.
The bartender, having become sensitive to his newest regulars peculiarities, had already lined up three shots of top shelf bourbon. Sally sauntered over to the bar with cash in hand but found the drinks already paid for.
She shut her eyes, and thanked the bartender, taking her first shot.
"Line them up," Une's voice broke in, clear and unsteady.
Sally looked over at the lady and then back to her row of drinks. The bartender lined up three shots for Une and she took the first one quickly.
Une sighed, "I hate this song."
"I know." She braced the edge of the bar and asked, "How did you find me?"
"I asked Trowa."
Sally sighed and picked up her second shot. She looked over at Une who was doing the same and held out her glass. The lady clinked her shot carefully up against it.
"What do we drink to," Une asked.
"Regret."
"How about something a little less dramatic?"
Sally shrugged and said, "Rain." And then she took her shot.
The glasses slammed along the top of the bar at the same time and Sally and Une looked over at each other.
"I'm too drunk to have a clear conversation with you," Sally said softly, eyeing the third and final shot.
"Two was never you limit, but I think I agree." Une picked up her last shot and moved the glass carefully in her fingers. "We shouldn't have an in depth discussion right now." She brought the glass to her lips and drank down the bourbon in one smooth gulp.
Sally eyed her last shot and noticed that she was being observed from the end of the bar by Nichol and Trowa. She did her best to ignore their presence, their sense of concern. Her hand wavered over the glass and then her slender fingers plucked it from the bar. She held it out to the lady.
"I can't drink this, and you're behind."
Une took the glass, smiling wryly. "I'm not as behind as you think I am." She drank the shot then and handed the empty glass over to the bartender who placed at the top of a pyramid of shot glasses, completing the structure.
Sally blinked and then grabbed at Une's arm, tugging her gently out of the bar and into the rain.
Une looked up into the sky as the rain fell, and she smiled, almost laughed. "Do they do this on purpose?"
"It would be silly of them to mess with the weather controls just for mood." Sally said and added, "I think the Universe just likes to be kind every so often."
"Is that what it is?"
"You're drunk."
"I'm not actually." Une said. She looked over at Sally and moved in closer. "This is a mistake."
"I know."
"No, I meant the attitude we're taking." She shut her eyes. The rain was falling much harder. "I shouldn't have pushed you away, and you definitely shouldn't have let me."
Sally shook her head. "And now it's too late."
"It really doesn't have to be."
"I've already lost a game like this before."
Une nodded. "If you ever thought for a moment that I was anything like-"
Sally grabbed Une and pulled her close. She held the fabric of Une's shirt tightly and then kissed her. "Never think that," she said as she pulled away. "Not ever."
*****
"I want to see," Une said and she pinned Sally's hands over her head and tugged back the eye patch. She stared at the injury, the terrible scar, and beneath her Sally, who wasn't even struggling, looked concerned. Une shut her eyes and then dipped forward leaving a light kiss on the healed wound.
"Are you going to let me go," Sally asked, hands still pinned back.
"No."
Sally grinned.
"Does it hurt?" Une asked.
"No."
Une brought her lips to rest upon the line of Sally's jaw where the bare whisper of a scar remained. "There will be complications from this," Une said softly, and then kissed down to Sally's neck. "We still have things to discuss."
"I know."
Sally felt the grip on her hands loosen and she freed herself. She wrapped her arms around Une, touching the soft and supple skin of her back, tripping over the few scars there. Une rested herself on Sally's shoulder and tangled herself around Sally's body, possessively and warmly, with all her love.
End.