Fear of death
Author's Note: I'd guess the title to be pretty self-explanatory, but, just in case: Character Death. Or -ish. It's a Kobato story. You guys should know about it.
DISCLAIMER: Hey. Let's make a copy-and-paste thing here. Okay, so, CLAMP and its works are not mine. They belong to, uh, CLAMP. WISH, Holic, Tokyo Babylon, X, Tsubasa, RG Veda, Kobato, Cardcaptor Sakura, Drug & Drop, Chobits, and every other story I have not mentioned here but that I might use are not mine, but CLAMP's. Also, the characters are also CLAMP's property. What I do own is this series of drabbles I've been writing from different CLAMP works, that are not really related. I have no monetary interest with any of this, of course, but, now, if you'd like to leave me comments, I'd be incredibly happy… (Sorry, sorry. Thought it was a good opening)
. . .
There was always fear around death. Many fear the nothingness, having to become the not-living. Many fear the unknown, the mystery of what comes ahead.
Me? I fear the past. That which is left behind. The people I won't see anymore, the people I love and that love me, the people who will be left sad in life.
I fear death, for I know it is coming close. I fear death, for I know that… that I won't ever be able to see you again, because I know it doesn't matter if I tell you I love you. It doesn't matter if losing you will hurt more than dying. It doesn't matter if I will be crying when I see your face, because we won't see each other again.
I won't ever see your smile again. Your frowning face, full of concern. Your angry face, yelling at me. Your tearful face, for you are the kindest person I have ever met. I won't ever see any of my memories, so precious and so few of them. I won't ever…
I won't ever hug you again, cry on your shoulder, laugh with you, have you by my side.
I won't ever see you again.
And I can't regret that.
Because I know I will die, and I know you will be left behind, that I won't ever see you again — but I have met you. If I haven't met you… I wouldn't be Kobato, I don't think, not without you. When I asked myself if you would miss me, I couldn't decide which answer pained me the most.
And I couldn't regret loving you, Fujimoto-san.