Slow-Motion Breakdown
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy doesn't belong to me but I wish Patrick Dempsey did!
Rating: PG-13
Timeline: Set during the episode "Break On Through"
Pairing: Derek/Meredith (of course as if there was another pair I would write about)
As Meredith watched Grace, her elderly patient draw her last breath all she could see was her mother lying there instead. And she was alone. The conversation she'd had earlier with Dr. Webber reverberated in her anxious mind.
"Do you think she's lonely, my mother?"
"Yes, I do."
Meredith felt the heat rising to her cheeks and she knew that at any moment the dam that held back her tears would burst. Her only thought was that she had to get the hell out of that room. Her chest tightened and she felt slightly dizzy as she headed to the first unoccupied room she could find. It turned out to be a supply closet. Her vision blurred with tears as she fumbled with the knob. It didn't occur to her to lock the door. And she didn't notice Derek standing in the hallway with an expression on his face as he saw her run in the opposite direction.
Meredith sank onto the floor of the tiny room, with her back against the legs of a gurney and tried desperately to catch her breath that came in quick uneven gasps that made her lungs burn.
As Derek entered the room and heard Meredith's sobs he wanted to ask her what was wrong but he couldn't find the words as he came upon her sitting there hyperventilating with pain.
She sensed his presence but she couldn't control her tears. Derek knelt beside her and grasped her hand.
"I can't…"
"Meredith…calm down…just take slow deep breaths."
She gasped for breath and tried again.
"I can't…. I don't…I don't want my mother to die alone.
"Slow deep breaths Meredith."
Wordlessly Derek reached up on a nearby shelf and grabbed an empty paper bag and held it out for Meredith to breathe into.
After breathing into the bag for a few moments, Meredith's breathing returned to normal and the burn in her lungs eased to a dull ache. She allowed herself to rest her head on Derek's shoulder and for a moment they were the people they used to be. The people they'd been before Addison and before they'd hurt each other so much.
Meredith regained her composure, "Thank you."
Derek gave her his trademark grin. "You're welcome."
"I'm okay." Meredith said managing a smile. She didn't know if she was trying so hard to convince Derek or herself.
Probably a toss up.
"You're okay."
Derek echoed her words as he got to his feet. He just wished he could believe them.