HOW BRITNEY BAGGINS GOT HER GROOVE BACK

Hi. I don't own LOTR.

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Britney Baggins was at the highschool dance. She was the favoritest daughter of Frodo Baggins and he loved her and did everything for her because he wanted to be the best dad in the world. But nothing was good enough for Britney Baggins.

"Daughter," said Frodo. "I have completed my newest invention, the portable DVD player! It will revolutionize the Hobbit Land, for now we can watch the movies in our cars without using the car's flip down television."

"SHUT UP DAD!" shouted Britney Baggins. "UGH YOU ARE SO EMBARASSING!"

"BRITNEY SOMEDAY YOU WILL HAVE A JOB TOO AND YOU WILL APPRECIATE MY ATTEMPTS TO INVOLVE YOU IN THE DVD INDUSTRY!" shouted an angry Frodo.

"FUCK YOU DAD! I AM NEVER GETTING A JOB! I WILL BE IN HIGHSCHOOL FOREVER AND BETWEEN MY DADDY AND MY BOYFRIENDS I WILL NEVER WANT FOR MONEY! NOW GIVE ME 400 HOBBIT DOLLARS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"

"Honey," said Frodo as he lost control of the situation. "What happened to the 500 hobbit dollars I gave you on Tuesday?"

"MY BOYFRIEND TOLD ME TO BUY HIM BOOZE SO THAT'S WHAT I SPENT IT ON! THEN HE DRANK IT ALL SO I DUMPED HIM. THAT WAS TWO DAYS AGO AND I ALREADY HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND WHO I WILL LOVE FOREVER. WE LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH THAT WE WILL NEVER BREAK UP SO LONG AS HE WORKS PART TIME AT HOME DEPOT AND GIVES ME HIS PAYCHECKS."

"Okay honey I see you are sincere," said Frodo as he handed over the money.

"Aw, I love you Daddy," said Britney as she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Now have a good time at the high school dance tonight," he waved her out the door.

With 400 hobbit dollars to spend on the after dance party, Britney shouldn't have had a care in the world. But as she walked into the dance hall with her mind abuzz with all the boys she could dance with to make her boyfriend Jeff oh so jealous, she was stunned to see in the middle of the dance floor a picture that would haunt her for the next three minutes.

Jeff was dancing with some other girl! Britney felt her jealously build into an unconscionable rage and as Jeff turned to her and waved like nothing was out of the ordinary, her angry burst forth from her mouth in a high pitched scream. She screamed until her lungs hurt!

Jeff was supposed to love her forever! He was supposed to be a part time cashier forever, and give her his paychecks forever! They would have grown old together on the money earned from his three-to-four hour long shifts that he only got on weekends! What would she do for money now!

Then a new sound broke on Britney's ears. She looked up, stunned. Everyone was laughing at her outburst! All the fat girls, and the nerdy kids, even the smelly anime club kids who came with their cousins had their acne covered lips split in laughter at her expense.

Britney was forced to flee the premises. She had never been more embarrassed in her life!

But she understood what had happened.

Her groove had been taken away from her. The one thing that kept her going in her life!

And so help her god she was going to get it back if it was the last thing she ever did.