a/n: i don't read the books so this is probably extremely inaccurate/ooc but it is au so yea haha uhhh
update: oH YE GAWDS JESUS OK THERE YA GO. AND ALSO HERE IS A LOWERCASE WARNING SO IF U DON'T LIKE LOWERCASE STUFF, PLEASE DONT READ~~~
1. awkward
the wedding was, to put the least, awkward. it had been a relatively quiet one, and taking place in a small chapel outside of the city -away from all the aristocrats and the watching eye of society-, the ceremony had only been attended by the lannisters themselves: cersei with her usual scorn framed beneath long lannister gold hair, tyrion and his quiet demeanor- the scar on his nose reflecting a sense of sadness that seemed to set the stage-, joffrey who had claimed to come only to "bring good wishes to his dear uncle and his new wife" but as he leered lustily at sansa, she knew his intentions were anything but pure, and of course, tywin lannister. he stared empty-eyed at his younger son and having stripped of his dutiful kingsguard title in exchange for the new position of 'lord of casterly rock', jaime lannister looked nothing near happy; his scorned expression a reflection to that of his twin's, cersei.
sansa cringed at the sight. it didn't feel right- even though she was just fifteen, she knew her marriage to the "lion" was more than just a petty attempt for joffrey to be able to rid of her in order to marry margaery tyrell- it was more than that. she knew tywin lannister had wanted to take land from the north; the home she had so readily abandoned for the arms of a false prince. oh, how naive she had been. and as she slowly walked down the isle -with joffrey by her side, acting as the father he had so unremorsefully murdered before her very eyes -, she felt her lower lip tremble softly, this isn't how i wanted things to turn out. she sighed, her thoughts suddenly interrupted as she felt the selfish boy-king pinch her arm harshly.
"sansa i'm so sad to be seeing you off." joffrey hisses mockingly, his bony fingers twisting the flesh of her arm. she looked straight ahead, towards the alter and tries desperately to ignore him. but joffrey only continues. "and you were such a good fuck, too." he whispers and she can't help but flinch.
joffrey was a cruel boy and the faded scars on her back and legs reminded her of the fact on a daily basis. she hated him, all of them- the lannisters were cruel and selfish people and she felt traitorous to her family for being married to two lannisters now (almost to the first one, atleast). she felt like a wolf in a lion's hide, the first time she had willingly taken, the second- forced. but despite her shame, sansa was still a girl and even though she was to be married off to a lannister, let alone a man twice her age, she couldn't help but relish in the twisted freedom that she would finally be away from joffrey. away from the pain and from the hurt that he had inflicted upon her. (away from home too, but she willed herself to stop clinging onto the hope of ever returning to the north ever again- not completely, but just enough to allow her to function on a day to day basis)
sansa sighs again. maybe she would find comfort in knowing that jaime lannister seemed like a relatively relaxed man, the presence of flocking and flirting women never seeming to phase him. after all, joffrey was a woman-crazed boy and sansa would be glad to be void from the depravity of a man's touch for the rest of her days spent in casterly rock (if possible) maybe he secretly hates women sansa even thought childishly as she stepped onto the alter, her blue eyes meeting the cool stare of older man -the kingslayer's- own bottle green eyes.
maybe he'll have no hesitation killing me.
the golden haired stranger leans in to kiss her.
after all, he is the king slayer.
sansa feels the cool touch of his fake hand touch her arm softly- it was so gentle, it felt foreign; forgotten, the feeling of it reminding her of the way her mother would hug her every night before bed. a tear slides down her face.
maybe i'll just be better off dead.