Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi and lyrics to "Finale" are copyright Yuu Watase and L'arc~en~ciel respectively.
Author's Note: This fic is the result of a very odd idea that came to me in the middle of the night last week. So, I developed it in my head, and this is what I got. Not sure how many chapters it'll be, or even how the end will turn out, but I'm in need of a challenge; I figure this will give me one. ^_^ And for those of you looking for Tasuki/Chichiri action here…sorry, but for once I'm writing something completely lacking in romance. I am going to focus on their relationship throughout—it just won't be in a romantic sense. Hope that doesn't scare all you romance/yaoi fans away who thought that's what this fic would be. ^^; Oh yeah, and the prologue is set just after Nuriko's death. So yes, that means there will be spoilers abound in this story. =P And apparently italics and center aren't working in any of my uploads…::grumble:: So the layout is going to look really crappy until I can get that fixed. -.-
Prologue: Reflection
Your reflection is wavering without a response
to my prayers, drowning in eternity
I couldn't save you when you were falling apart
I put you to sleep on my knee long ago
Darkness.
Even the bravest have some fear, and more often than not it resides in this. Insecurity, temptation, doubt—all of these come with it, and none are feelings that humans are comfortable with. There are some who convince themselves that they're never afraid. Eventually, something will break them; something will force them to have more fear than they normally would, more insecurity, more doubts. For with truth comes fear, and without fear you are living a lie… Yet there are those who live a life in fear and lies, masked by a wall of bravery and strength. In the mirror, they don't see themselves, but instead the mask they've hidden under for so long, and often they aren't aware of this wall, this mask, until it begins to chip away.
Without a wall, a building crumbles. Without a mask, one cannot hide. Is there such thing as a true reflection of ourselves? Can a human ever fully understand what fate has given them? Is there such thing as fate?
Sometimes, all it takes is a false reflection to cause a man to break.
~*~*~
Darkness.
The new moon gave off only the palest sense of light, and the snow-covered ground reflected it feebly, as if trying to conserve what little illumination it was given. Wind howled fiercely over the desolate battlefield in warning to all those who passed, and all those who passed left this forsaken place as quickly as they'd come.
Only one stood there, though he didn't know why; and in the dead of night, there's no one answer to that question. Surveying what lay before him in silence, the youth shivered as wind nipped at his already frozen skin, the only thing covering it a lightweight robe. He took a step forward, and his bare feet began to grow numb with cold. This place reminded him of one he'd been to before, but he'd pushed it out of memory…
A snow-covered mountain top—yet the snow hadn't been pure, as this snow was. That place was tainted with blood…tainted by death…
Shaking his head, the youth pushed those thoughts aside. Despite being on a battlefield, all signs of casualty were buried under the innocence of the snow; even the smell of blood eluded him, and this feeling brought a sense of relief. The snow-covered mountain was buried in memory once more.
Taking another step, he noticed a small pool of water just ahead—a strange sight, when everything else was frozen. Walking cautiously up to it, he peered into the liquid, and seeing that it wasn't deep, knelt beside it. Between the ripples and silvery reflections of moonlight in the water, he found his own—a flame-haired youth, cool amber eyes gazing unblinkingly back at him. An ironic smirk touched his lips; just a few days ago, those same eyes had held a fire in them—but that fire had been dampened and replaced with a sense of loss and emptiness that he'd show to none. It was rare that tears escaped his eyes…yet when they did, it showed a side of him that was hidden to all, including himself.
After a few moments, he noticed that he was no longer staring at one reflection, but two. Amethyst was next to amber, and the dim, ghost-like image of another man came into focus. A pale complexion, long, deep violet hair done into a braid, and those gem-like purple eyes, filled with sorrow. Startled, the first man stood up and stepped back from the pool, his own eyes widening in disbelief. He glanced around frantically, as if looking for the man in the reflection—yet there was no one there beside him. Looking back into the pool, he saw that the other reflection had disappeared, leaving no trace other than gentle ripples on the water's surface.
Sobbing dryly, the youth turned away, closing his eyes to keep unwanted tears from escaping. He knew he couldn't hide from the truth of it; but what was the truth? His companion, his best friend was killed…if he had been there, would it have been prevented?
Was it my fault?
The wind continued to howl bitterly past his ear, and, clenching his fists, he opened his eyes. It wasn't anyone's fault; nothing could have prevented what happened, and his companion wouldn't have wanted him to feel otherwise. Turning back to the pool as if in defiance, he looked into the water once more.
The sight that greeted him was not one he'd expected. Eyes widening again, this time in horror, he found himself staring at his reflection—stained red. Disbelieving, he unclenched his fists and looked down at his hands; crimson dripped almost lethargically onto the frozen ground from them, his senses immediately filled with the putrid odor of blood. His first instinct was to clap a hand over his mouth to smother the scent, but found he couldn't, as they were part of the source. Quickly, he knelt down and submerged his hands in the freezing water, biting his lip to keep from crying out from the cold. However, this did nothing to cleanse them of blood; rather, the entire pool turned a deep red, and he found his gaze locked with that of his deceased companion once more. Violet eyes stared up at him as icy hands reached out from the pool to grab his, and he let out a strangled cry as he found himself dragged into the water.
What appeared to be a shallow pool turned out to be an endless, bottomless ocean; land was completely gone, and the youth was now submerged in his biggest fear, hanging as if held by strings at least ten feet below the surface of the crimson water. His companion's apparition was gone, and he was once more left alone, struggling to get to the surface; yet his attempts only caused him to sink deeper into the ice-cold water, panic growing and hope beginning to fade from his mind.
Closing his eyes, he stopped his struggle and let his body descend further and further, his lungs threatening to burst with each foot he dropped, his companion's image still lingering in his mind. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't escape it; he couldn't escape the truth.
This was how the nightmares began.