AN : This is just something I wrote, based on true events. =) This is the first time I've ever attempted anything like this so, reviews would be appreciated. Let me know what you think.
I can't believe that I did it. I actually did it. Why? I am such an idiot, this was entirely avoidable. If there is one piece of advice that I can give, it is this. Don't fall for your sister-in-law's brother.
A year ago my oldest brother met and fell in love with the girl of his dreams. It didn't take him long to realize she was the one. He popped the question, she accepted. It wasn't long before they set a date and every female in both families started going nuts over wedding stuff. They even asked me to be bridesmaid, a fact that I wasn't entirely thrilled about not really being the "girly girl" bridesmaid type. But I love my brother, so of course I said yes.
Since we lived several states away from each other both families thought it'd be a good idea if we suffered thru the 10 hour drive and went up to meet the in-laws before the big day. I knew about my not yet sister-in-law's family. Her mom and dad and three younger siblings. The oldest brother was married and had a baby on the way, the youngest of the 4, a girl about my age, and the middle brother. I knew their names, I'd even seen pictures of them. But nothing prepared me for meeting them. I met her parents first, they were great, sweet, down to earth people, and they adored my brother. Then I met the sister, she was crazy, funny and seemed like a good time.
Then I met him, the middle brother. He introduced himself, I shook his hand and that's when it happened. Right then, right there. I fell for him. I didn't even know him, but that didn't matter, I'd already fallen. One of those true fairytale, love at first sight type things. The next two days we spent there didn't help matters. Everything I learned about him made me like him even more. Everything he said, how he interacted with his family, even how he interacted with me. He was nice, polite, nothing more, but it still didn't help matters. He was funny, cute, sweet, intelligent, thoughtful, a little bit crazy (in the best way) and over all pretty much a perfect all American baseball loving, incredible, guy. He was even my "type", tall, dark hair, blue eyes, very cute.
I was surprised to learn that we actually had a lot in common. We were both crazy about movies, books and music. I nearly fell out of my chair when I heard him perfectly quote my fav childhood movie. Whenever he'd talk to me directly my breath would catch. And I nearly died when I caught him looking at me once. I remember perfectly every second of that entire trip. By the time we got home I was a lost cause.
I friended him on Facebook and stalked him for a bit, I prefer to think of it as information gathering. I just discovered more stuff that we had in common. We both like Michael Buble for goodness' sake! And we literally had the same fav childhood movie. Life continued, crazy wedding stuff. My second oldest brother also found a girl and his wedding was first. We were very busy.
The moment it happened I started trying to talk myself out of it. Because the moment it happened I knew nothing would, or ever could come of it. I rejoiced in our similarities, but I also recognized our differences. The fact is, I'm a huge dork. I'm no Katherine Heigl. I wear nerd glasses and converse shoes, on purpose. He was cool. He was, way out of my league. But my head didn't make a convincing enough argument, cause I persisted in liking him. This is when I began to hate myself. Telling myself that I was just getting setup for a disaapoint since it clearly would never work. After two months of hard work (no FB stalking), I started to see the light. Yes! I was finally over him! Please, that was just silly little girl crush, haha.
I watched The Tourist on DVD, I liked it. I posted my thoughts as a status update on FB. And he replied to it. Yeah, um, WHAT? I was almost OVER him! Then he had to go and reply to my freaking FB post. It gets worse. He totally agreed with me. AND he posted a link to his movie review blog. You know, insinuating that he wanted me to read it. Crap.
The next month before the wedding, the next time I'd see him, was absolute torture. I followed his blog religously. I mostly agreed with him, but I disagreed just enough to not be annoyingly similar.
I was almost excited to get there as my brother was to see his fiancee. 10 stupid hours in the car. We finally got there! We met them at the place we were having the reception in order to set things up. We went in, I saw him, he looked cute, in glasses and a newsboy cap. I mentally noted that he must usually wear contacts. We said ,"hi." Per usual I was acutely aware of where he was at all times, I strained to hear what he said, even if I wasn't in the conversation.
The next three days were completely awesome. I even had a classic romantic comedy moment when on the morning of the wedding I went to my future sister-in-law's house to get ready with the other bridesmaids. Things were crazy, she was packing for her honeymoon, she needed a plastic bag, she saw me standing there doing nothing. She asked me to get one from the kitchen, they were in the skinny cabinet, by the door into the garage. I went to retrieve a bag, I opened the cabinet door, at that moment he opened the door from the garage. Luckily the door caught the cabinet door or it would've hit me. I instantly began apologizing. He said no! He was just glad he didn't deck me.
He was a groomsman. At opposite sides of the church, more or less facing each other during the ceremony, how was I supposed to NOT look at him? Especially with how great he looked in that suit. I looked quickly away whenever he happened to glance my way.
At the reception he danced to the music that he, as DJ, had picked out. He showed that not only was he "cool" but he was also cool with not always being "cool". I completely melted when he danced with a young mentally challenged girl. How was I supposed to resist such a sweetheart?
High on life, I grabbed every oppurtunity to talk to him. Half the time I didn't even realize what we were saying. I only knew that I was speaking to him, he was speaking to me, and I was near him. Gosh he had a great smile.
The best three days of my life were also the most heartbreaking. Every moment was bittersweet, it's like when you go on a chocolate binge, you know it's not good for you and you're so going to regret it, but in that moment, all you want is chocolate.
My brother got married. The wedding was over. We went home, several states away. Distance didn't do much to stop it. I had the best moments with "him" on repeat, like a cheesey fanvid in my mind. Life totally sucked. I didn't know when the next time I'd see him would be. I alternately hated myself and cut myself slack...but ultimately ended up at the inevitable conclusion, I needed to forget him. There was no way it would ever work. Besides distance and the fact that he was WAY out of my league I had other legitamate reasons.
My second brother's wife had a great family as well. She was the oldest of five kids, the oldest brother was about "his" age, a couple of years older than myself. My Mom loved him. And for good reason, he was a great, sweet guy. My Mom had him all picked out for me. He WAS a great sweet guy...but besides not being at all my type, my heart was somewhere else...several states away.
Distance, "He" = cool "I" = dork, Mom would never approve. The sensible thing? Forget him. Forget the best 3 days of your life. After two months struggle, I did. I continued to read his movie review blog, purely out of cinematic interest.
It has now been 5 months since the wedding, since I saw him. I found out yesterday that he may be coming with my sister-in-law's parents to visit their daughter and my brother. The thought of seeing him again gave me chills. I immediately reprimanded myself, I was so over him! At least I thought I was. He may not even come, but then again he might. Mostly I'm just ticked at myself that I care.
What the heck am I going to do? Continue to hope against hope? Or face reality, and accept it? My life is like a bad romantic comedy...except it's not romantic, or funny.