~A/N: Okay guys, I've accepted the fact that I'm probably bi-polar. (No, not literally, but figuratively). I keep getting super obsessed with a concept or story then I turn around and hate it entirely or simply become disinterested. I swear on my dog, Wagner's grave that I will finish Socio (sooner) and Slow Dancing in a Burning Room (later), but I just got this idea for a story and I have to go for it. I do hope you enjoy.
So this is it. Lacey thought to herself. Eighteen years of her life, she'd spent in Greengrove, a quaint little suburban town in the grand state of New York. Eighteen years filled with temporary bliss which was followed by an abrupt traumatic childhood experience that would cause pain to precede for years, and then avoidance of it all, superficial happiness which became genuine happiness – only momentarily. Her life was so complicated. That town had so many memories, both good and bad, but she was finally moving on from it all. Literally, moving towards a whole new dynamic of independence and individuality. She was starting college in just 24 hours, a new chapter of her life. Lacey was not traveling far for school, but it was far enough. Beyond her wildest dreams, she had been accepted into Columbia University, a prestigious school in Upper Manhattan. In spite of every circumstance, every ounce of regret, every fear, and self-doubt, she was moving on to greater things. Columbia she finally made it to the Ivy League.
Lacey's thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell to which she quickly responded.
"Sarita! Phoebe!" She hugged her friends tightly.
Sarita pulled away quickly, "Bitch, this outfit is worth more than your life. If I get a wrinkle, I will mess you up." she rolled her eyes playfully and then shot her friend a snarky smile.
"Aw, Sarita, I'm gonna miss your bitchy remarks." Lacey pretended to tear up.
"Ya, cool. I'm glad we're having our little kumbaya moment, but if I don't get some food in my stomach soon, I am seriously gonna turn into that crabby old lady from the Snicker's commercial." Phoebe snapped.
Lacey's mouth curled into yet another borderline-irritating smile. "Phoebe, you're still so odd," she leaned in for another embrace.
"Okay, are you going to be like this the entire time?"
"No, I swear I'm not." Lacey laughed. "So, to Johnny Cakes?" She danced over to living room sofa grabbing her handbag and car keys. "The guys are going to meet us there, right?"
"That's the plan. Now, chop, chop." Phoebe rushed them along.
The girls crammed into Lacey's silver Ford Focus where Phoebe instantaneously took control of the radio. She stopped on a popular radio station where the DJ was introducing the next song.
This next joint goes out to all my high school graduates. Class of 2015, stand up!
The girls cheered. "Ow ow!"
I'm taking you back to health class with that Vitamin C – "Graduation" 107.5 Radio. Let's hit it.
"Oh my gosh! Phoebe perked up. "Guys."She could hardly contain her enthusiasm and the emotions that were brewing at the thought of their final night together as high school best friends. The song began to play. The girls mumbled through the first verse but immediately chimed in on the chorus.
As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
As she was driving and singing, Lacey flashed back to her freshman year in high school. She was a tall, gangly young lass with a timid spirit and a world of post-traumatic stress. Lacey had been through a really dark time throughout middle school but with Regina Crane as her best friend, someone who stood beside her, made her laugh, smile, and feel like one of the baddest bitches in town, Lacey had been able to transform. Her freshman year, she had become determined to redefine her image from the scared and lonely friend of a childhood Ted Bundy. The kids at school compared Danny Desai and his indiscretions to the likes of an infamous serial killer. And almost overnight she became an object of everyone's fascination. Boys fawned over her. Girls envied her. Overnight, it seemed, she had developed confidence with Regina's help. She might not have overcome the trauma she'd experienced at age 11, had it not been for Regina and the girls sitting with her in that car.
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends forever.
Lacey could not help be shed a tear. She looked over at Phoebe who was also becoming emotional. Even Sarita who was in the back seat wiping mist from her eyes.
"You guys, I don't tell you this enough, but I really do love you. You guys mean so much to me" Lacey proclaimed.
"You mean so much to us, Lace. I mean after Regina past on, we might have all fallen out of touch, but you were the glue that kept us together."
"You really were Lacey." Sarita added, "And even though you I was pissed at you for having psycho-sex with a killer….Wait, where was I going with that? Nowhere, I just wanted to bring up the horrid memory that you banged Jeffrey Daumer's son.
"Okay, he's not a cannibal." Phoebe jumped to Danny's defense. "He had one 'minor' moment of temporary insanity. It happens to the best of us."
"It must have been more than temporaryinsanity seeing as how he left a goddess like Lacey Porter for that little billy goat gruff."
Lacey felt guilty for her involuntary burst of laughter. "Enough, Sarita," she said when she was finally able to regain her composure. "Jo is our friend now so is Danny, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah. I know. Doesn't mean that her ass will be free from criticism. It's the way I show my love." It would have been most appropriate had a halo with horns appeared over Sarita's head in that moment.
The girls arrived at Johnny Cakes which had been rented out for the high school seniors of Greengrove High. Lacey's group of friends quickly dispersed throughout the room as she stood there taking in the sight of it all, listening to the sounds of laughter, the sobs of emotional teens preparing to embark on an angsty journey through life. She felt at ease with her near departure although it was hard letting go.
"Hey Lace,"
She was startled by a tap on her shoulder. Lacey turned around to see Danny who pulled her in for a hug. Jo was following closely behind him. She wrapped her arms around her boyfriend as if to mark her territory. Lacey cleared her throat uncomfortably. It had been a few months since Jo and Danny started dating officially and despite her will to accept their new bond, the heartbreak was far too great. But still she remained cordial with them. After all, they had been her first true friends and they had been through hell together. So despite the pervasive feeling of jealousy, she loved both of them enough preserve their friendship.
"So, Jo. I heard you got into Yale. Congratulations!"
"Thanks, Lacey, but I'm not going," Jo responded nonchalantly.
"You're lying! You turned down Yale?"
"Yeah," she shrugged. "Danny and I are going to attend NYU." The giddiest grin swept across her face as if she had just won the lottery or something magnificent. Danny smiled coolly as well.
NYU was a great school but Jo had graduated number 2 in their class; she was the salutatorian. For four rigorous years she annihilated exams, essays, projects, and assignments. Her work ethic was unparalleled, and even through the stresses and the strains of life, Jo's diligence endured. If anyone should have been going to an Ivy League college, it should have been Jo … and she could have. Not that it mattered. Prestige wasn't everything. Jo settled for NYU so that she could go to school with her boyfriend which was romantic in the eyes of some. Lacey couldn't help but wonder if she would have given up the school of her dreams to be closer Danny if they had stayed together. She honestly doubted it.
And that was the difference between her and Jo. When it came to Danny, Jo was always willing to give up every piece of herself just to be with him, at times to a fault. Lacey's reservations concerning him were her fault. Had she been more open and stood by him shamelessly like Jo did when he first returned from juvie, then maybe he would not have convinced himself that Jo was "the one" instead of her. But Lacey made no apologies for being who she was: a complex and independent woman who was multi-dimensional, perplexing, strong-willed. It hurt that Danny did not see how much it took for her to give him even one small part of herself. It pained her to think that those feelings that had been mounting far longer than they could fully understand as children ceased to exist in him. When she looked at Danny, it gave her chills. The feelings that she had for him were stronger than she and the weight of her broken heart pulled her down with the force of gravity. He was her friend. Her childhood best friend. And yeah, he had hurt her more than she allowed herself to admit. He turned her heart into a cruel game of capture the flag, but he was still Danny Desai. He was everything to her, so she needed him in her life even if just as friends.
When Jo wandered off to order food, Danny pulled Lacey in for another heart-warming embrace. He took in the familiar scent of her cherry blossom shampoo and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, lingering in that position a while longer than necessary. Then he pulled himself away. Looking at her shyly, he said, "I'm gonna miss you Lace."
Lacey just smiled and tilted her face down toward the ground. She couldn't think of the words to say to him. "I'll uh, see you when I see you," she let out awkwardly.
Danny nodded his head with discontent as he started off.
"Danny, wait" Lacey realized how lame she was for not being able to say goodbye properly. "You….our friendship. It means the world to me."
"Me too." He offered a gentle smile.
And with that Lacey found a sense of closure. She and Danny…and Jo, they would all remain in the same city but they were lightyears apart now and Lacey knew that. In the back of her mind was the humming melody of the Graduation song by Vitamin C.
As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends forever.
…
It was a gorgeous, sunny day in Upper Manhattan on the beautiful campus of Columbia University. The campus was larger than it seemed when she had gone on a campus tour alongside her mum and little sister just a few months earlier. Lacey was on her own now and she felt so small as she eased her way across the colossal campus grounds. She was like a mere spec or particle of dust against the entire universe and it was surprisingly refreshing. Nobody knew her. Nobody knew that she was once a broken little girl who discovered her childhood best friend murdered his own aunt at age 11. Nobody cared that she had gotten past that by becoming a complete bitch to her friend Jo and ditching her for the "popular" crowd. They hadn't the slightest clue that her entire world did a 360 when Danny Desai returned from his 5 year stay in juvie and that same night … that very evening upon his return, one of her closest friends was murdered – a crime that would go on unresolved for 3 years. Or that in spite of everything, she had given Danny a chance. In spite of everything, she allowed herself to trust him and to fall carelessly in love with him. In spite of everything he'd put her through, only for her heart to be broken in the end. But nobody knew these things about her and no one had to. The only baggage that she carried now was the things she'd unpacked in her dorm room as she began her life a fresh woman. Lacey sighed a sigh of relief as she marched across the field with a new confidence, one that was not reliant on status or fading and temporary things. She had the freedom to simply be.
Lacey was headed back to her dorm room after having attended an activity fair which advertised the different student clubs and organizations. She had spoken with a few sorority members who had her contemplating joining Greek life but she was still uncertain. It would be a nice, safe choice for her to join a sorority, but that would mean that she would be surrounded by young women who were hell-bent on achieving status and indulging in superficial pleasures and those were the kinds of girls that she'd surrounded herself with in high school. She grew to love them, of course, Regina, Phoebe, and Sarita. She loved them with everything within her, but Lacey became plastic trying to walk like them, dress like them, act like them. She had boxed herself into a tiny cubicle and now was her time to step outside of it.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the faint cry of someone calling her name.
"Lacey!"
It was a common name though and seeing as how she had not really met anyone on campus yet, she knew the person could not be referring to her. She started to plop in a pair of earphones when the voice called out again,
"Lacey!" It was closer this time.
"La-" She turned around to see a familiar body, panting and out of breath. Lacey's eye twitched irritatingly, still she smiled, a passive smile.
"Rico? What are you doing here?" She looked down at his university apparel and already assumed the answer.
"I'm going to school here." He shot her a goofy grin whilst showing off his Columbia Lions t-shirt. Lacey smiled back but didn't say anything more. Rico continued. "You got into Columbia?"
Lacey's face turned into a frown. "You say that with an unsettling amount of shock…" He could hear the agitation in her voice.
"Oh, no. I didn't mean it that way! It's just you're cool and—" He fumbled around with his words a bit. "I mean, I guess I've seen you read book… like maybe once." Rico could have kicked himself for his poor choice of words.
Lacey knew that he was not trying to be rude. It was Rico, putting his foot in his mouth was truly his life calling. She softened her expression, "I wasn't the valedictorian like you were but I'd like to think I did halfway decent in school." She said pleasantly. "Plus I got 32 on the ACT."
"Impressive." He gave her two thumbs up. "I didn't mean to say you were dumb or anything. I'm just kind of prone to word vomit." He looked down at his sneakers.
"Kind of?" Lacey questioned him jokingly.
"Okay, I am genetically predisposed to word vomit. The condition is hereditary, so I'm afraid there's not much I can do about it." He chuckled.
Lacey laughed as well. "Well, I'll offer my prayers and best of wishes on finding a cure."
They shared a few more giggles. "Hey look, a couple of guys from my hall are going on a scavenger hunt tonight. If you want to come.."
"Tempting, Rico. It is, but I was actually invited to this party. Some mixer at one of the Greek houses; it starts at 8."
"A frat party, wow. That sounds …incredibly unruly. I went to a party once in high school where I learned early on that alcohol is evil and I dance like a penguin with arthritis."
Lacey looked at him with a peculiar expression, "What does a penguin with arthritis dance like exactly?" She snickered.
"Like me, apparently. I'm just that awkward of a person."
"You're not that awkward." Lacey explained to him politely. Visually, Rico was actually quite attractive with his tan skin and trendy haircut. The only thing he truly lacked was confidence.
"Well hey, if the party is lame or you're looking to do something a little less fun, then don't hesitate to give me a ring." He pulled out his cell phone and the two exchanged numbers.
"I will keep that in mind, Rico. Thanks." She lied.
Rico turned back around as he was walking off. He reached out and touched her shoulder. "Hey Lacey?"
"Yeah?"
"I know we don't know each other much ..and by that I mean we really don't know each other at all which is odd because we sort of ran in similar circles in high school. I mean, of course there was the minor detail of me not having much of a social life outside of hanging out with Jo at Johnny Cakes and-" Rico was speaking rather rapidly and it was clear that he was preparing to ramble aimlessly. Lacey shot him a quick glance which prompted him to get to the point. "The point is I'm uh…really happy that you're here on campus." He gave her the most genuine smile. "It's kind of a relief seeing a familiar face where everything is brand new."
Despite wanting to craft herself a new life on a blank canvas where no one knew anything about her past, there was something about Rico's sincerity, something so pure. Familiar but different. Close to home but just far enough to feel like you have actually left. His smile warmed her heart with the most comradery she had felt in quite some time with all those fading relationships she'd left behind with people who had a great influence over her and impacted her life dearly, but nonetheless failed to maintain a metaphysical connection through the duration of their relationships.
Lacey knew nothing about Rico except that he was really smart and really nerdy in high school and he probably knew nothing more about her than his schema of a popular princess, but the paths ahead of them were not all that different. At their core, they were exactly the same.
"Yeah, I agree," Lacey replied. "It's good to see you too. Maybe we'll cross paths a bit more here at university."
…