Beat Gat out of Hell laaaaate last night. And then proceeded to write this in the morning as a way of figuring out how it might fit into my boss's canon. Ending spoilers ahead, and many thanks to Pierceaholic for the check!

The light blinded him, but he kept his eyes skyward. Used his shades for their intended purpose, rather than as just a fashion statement, albeit a fucking cool one.

"Yo? This who I think it is?"

"You know many other beams of light raining down from the heavens?"

"Uh, guess not. Though, if aliens were involved I don't think they'd take the time to say hi." Johnny rubbed the back of his neck, and cleared his throat. "So, uh, God, right?"

"That's one name, but it'll work."

"Any reason why you're cutting in now? As fun as Hell was, I've had enough of this place for a fucking lifetime. Got people topside to see."

"You did good. With Zinyak and with Satan. As you can understand we were a bit overwhelmed trying to keep track of the souls in transit, and with Satan adding a rebellion on top of that, it became impossible. He was going to come here, and use the President as a rallying force."

"No shit?"

"Yeah."

"And for some reason he decided to pass me over?"

"I think you know more than a few reasons why he'd pass you over."

Johnny gave it a second, then lowered his head.

"You never would've agreed to it, not that she would've either, but Satan was grasping for straws. But that brings me back to the reason why I decided to shine down to begin with-"

"Shine? More like fucking blind-"

"I have options for you. Things that can become reality. Care to take a look?"

V shot up, everything tensed, and gulped down air.

That's when the throbbing pain hit. Right behind her eyes, like twin daggers. Her head felt ready to collapse in on itself, and no amount of blinking could get it to go away. Swearing loudly, she laid back down and pressed her hands to her eyes, willing the sensation to stop.

Her eyes snapped over at the feeling of movement by her, however. She turned her head, and saw one groggy Johnny. They were on the floor of the main common room, curled up against the wall, and she vaguely picked out a streak of frosting on the side of his face.

The others were scattered all over the rest of the room, Matt passed out over by the computers, Kinzie and Shaundi over half-draped on Pierce, with Asha and King nowhere to be found – as well as Keith for that matter. Even CID blinked faintly from his position by the remains of the cake, and by the time V swung her attention back to Johnny, he was eying her closely.

"The fuck are you doing?" he asked.

She didn't blink. Couldn't, as she watched him push his crooked sunglasses up the bridge of his nose, and swiped once at his mussed hair. When he continued to scowl at her, she raised her hand and poked him in the chest. Hard.

"Ow," he said dully. She jerked her hand back, and he glared at her over his glasses. "I'm solid. Thought we went over this."

"That…" Her voice was rough, and felt like something had died in it. "None of that was real?"

"Real?"

"The kidnapping, the wedding, and you and Kinzie storming Hell?"

Gat looked at her, angling his head as he processed it, and let out a short laugh. "Man, the trip hit you hard."

It ran through her mind. The crusade through Hell, Jezebel, all the song and dance, as fire kept on raining down. No pirates, no playwrights, no damnation for those too dear to even come close to being there. Not real. None of it.

V took in a deep breath and gradually let it out as returned to her spot on the floor. The cool, industrial Zin floor. "I'm going to kill them. Slowly. Whoever thought it'd be a fine idea to tamper with this shit."

"Once I'm done with them, right?" He rubbed his face, only to smear the streak of frosting more. Glancing down at his fingers, he sighed. "Fucking birthdays. And I thought the board was bad."

"Board?"

"The Ouija board. Fucking spirits, and all of that shit. You remember, right?"

She slowly turned her head towards the table. "Ouija?"

"Yeah, Ouija board. Matt dug it up out of Zinyak's stash." Her eyes locked onto it while she sat up, and she pushed herself up and off of the floor. "…Uh, V?"

And that was the story of how one small, but gently used Ouija board returned to human hands briefly, before promptly being shot out into the eternal void of space.