Human Behaviour for the Everyday Turian:
"Vibrating Uvula"
Fem!ShepardXGarrus Short
Addira
Part I – Rated M
Part II (after fade to black of doom) – Rated T
"I must say Shepard," The turian turned towards the Spectre as he commented. "I'm not surprised you bought the tank VI but it does surprise me that you didn't try to reprogram EDI to do it instead." He cocked his head to the side as he saw Shepard grin at him.
She wore her comfortable N7 hoodie and her feet were snuggled up to her bum on the chair. She had wrapped her hand around her legs and rested her head on her knees, but when she had that grin…
"You already tried didn't you?" He snickered.
The Shepard he had gotten used to know responded with a broad smile and a slight chuckle. She was, by far, the only woman he was able to even slightly read. Other women, turians included, were just so different and loved to send mixed messages.
"Tried being key there, Vakarian." He chuckled once and added in a lower more sensual tone, one that he started to use often. (But no matter how many times Shepard heard it: the effect remained the same as the first.)
"I'm sure you just wanted a challenge. You don't go on for long without some sort of entertainment." He picked his glass with the wine inside and, putting her feet off of the seat, she met her glass with his. A light ding noise came out of their contact.
"Agreed." She took many sips from the content of the wine. Garrus was right: This was the good stuff. Levo* & dextro amino acid friendly. One of the only things that Shepard knew of that was compatible with both systems. She moaned as she savoured the newer wine.
"Now this…" she started.
"Is the good stuff." Garrus finished as he nodded, glad of his purchase.
Shepard started to nod but then froze. Garrus noticed the change, mainly the absence of movement, and walked towards Shepard and sat down right next to her.
"What is it Shepard?"
"We've just reached that point in our live Garrus…"
He arched his turian-eske eyebrow, urging her to continue.
"…where we finish each others sentences."
"Oh no…" Garrus added slightly sarcastic. Shepard turned her body towards him with one arm along the sofa headboard and her hand in her hair. Her other hand was lightly pressed on Garrus' thigh. "What are the others going to say?" He added with a slight purr in behind. He leaned back onto the backboard and received Shepard onto his lap.
It was actually quite easy now to move around Shepard. Before he would bump into something or she'd accidentally brush his extended torso trying to kiss him and so on, but like anything else: practice makes perfect. And after 6 months of no practice … one didn't need to say that they didn't waste time greasing up the old wheel.
Garrus put his hands on her hips as she put her index under his chin. He flapped his mandibles once. "Nothing if we have anything to say about it." She smirked devilishly to his reaction: a purr and a snicker. He felt her hand ride up his thigh.
Garrus reached up behind Shepard's neck and pulled her down towards him. It wasn't long before her lips met his lip plates, and wasn't long after when their tongues, her soft small warm pink tongue and his longer rougher bluer tongue, met and danced together better than they ever could… actually: more than she ever could.
After a couple kisses he could feel Shepard move around on him, trying to remove her hoodie. Without much thoughts put into it, Garrus helped Shepard removed the garment and she tossed it away in the empty space behind her. It probably hit a lamp since they both heard something fall and possibly break.
"Oops." Shepard said between kisses.
"Hmm hm." He agreed, much like she had not a couple seconds ago.
She smiled as he agreed with her almost absent-mindedly.
She kissed him deeply then put her forehead on his, only cutting him off from her lips for but a second. As she had hoped, Garrus understood exactly what she wanted from him…
****.****
Something was different from what was usually going on to his side. Garrus had fallen asleep on his left side on the bedside opposite to the alarm clock and had Shepard's hips wrapped real nicely and snug. They still had a couple drips of sweat on their brow but that never stopped them before.
He looked down at Shepard's still very inflated mark at the start of her neck just right off to where her shoulders ended. He remembered the time where he had sunk his teeth into her unexpected thick flesh. It had been at least 2 weeks since he had done so and the marks were still slightly red. He wondered if an allergic reaction was the cause of the inflammation… he was worried her body might of reacted negatively to something so private and personal.
But she had convinced him to bite, to not resist. When he had told her that biting was a normal reoccurrence in the turians she deduced that he had an overly strong urge not to bite her every time they shared a bed.
…
or hotel room, car seat, deserted farmland – Now that one was amazing,
He didn't expect her to understand the need to mark but she did and she let him. At least now he isn't so tense when she turns him on or when they both initiate a move.
Statistically speaking, the urge for the turian to bite their mate - ultimately claiming them, was the main factor of 62% break ups in turian/non-turian relationships.
Garrus was glad that he got Shepard… Spirits! She was beautiful… for a human.
He had received many messages from his friends asking him why he evolved to like aliens. A xenophiliac. But it wasn't the fact that Shepard was human, it was the fact that Shepard was Shepard.
And she had a great ass.
He heard the sound again.
That one sound that made his stay… different. It sounded like a low inhumane growl. He knew it wasn't him – no, he was in control of his purrs and growls. The only possible explanation was the rumble came from Shepard.
There it was again!
He pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked down at Shepard in slight confusion, frowning his features. Her blond hair was getting longer by the week and they were spread all over her pillow. Her face was in no pain, no focus, and in no hurry. It was peaceful and calm, unlike the awake version of the same face. Her mouth was slightly opened as it usually was. He remembered joking about how little insects could crawl into her mouth as she slept. She countered by saying that the average human, while sleeping, unintentionally ate an olive jar worth – whatever that meant- of spider legs and dust over the course of a year. He remembered it perfectly because Tali had reacted to the spider part and they all had a good laugh.
Shepard groaned and frowned a little before reaching over to the covers and brought them back up to her now exposed shoulders. Garrus figured she had gotten used to sleeping with nothing, but her body's temperature apparently sought out the same warmth as if she were wearing some sort of night attire. One night he woke to find her completely infolded in the blankets, stolen his pillow and her legs were wrapped around his waist.
There it was again! He was convinced the sound originated from Shepard but he didn't have the heart to wake her and ask.
"EDI?" He asked.
The blue bulb appeared from the stand next to the door.
"Yes officer Vakarian?" She answered.
"What is that sound?" He asked.
"That is called snoring. Shall I give an explanation?"
"Yes."
"Please wait. Ah yes, taken from the Human behaviour for the everyday Turian:
Snoring, as referred to in human terms, is a sound that occurs while humans, and some asari, sleep.
A snore is a grunt or rumbling sound that derives from the mouth caused by an obstruction in the oral anatomy. The breath taken in by the human will provoke the uvula and soft palate to vibrate, which makes the rumbling sound.
Many known celebrities have been known to snore, such as Jahona Skillis –Citadel asari actress, Harry Furthermore – renown human anthropologist, and even Greato Humn – human daredevil.
Snoring may indicate a breathing problem and it may go as far as blocking airways to the lungs all together. The condition is called sleep apnea, a temporary cessation of breathing. Otherwise the snorer becomes a nuisance to ones partner.
Snoring gets louder and more aggravating with age."
Garrus looked down towards Shepard as the snoring became constant and easy to block out. He brushed the hair off of her brow and smirked.
He wondered if she knew she snored.
"That's all EDI."
"Logging you out Vakarian."
He felt Shepard move beside him and he looked down to see Shepard half awake looking at him with her eyes half open.
"Hey…" She smirked. She was awake enough to see Garrus' bare chest and to remember the events that led up till then…
"Shepard: you snore." He put plainly, flapping his mandibles.
She chuckled. "Yeah… I know. Usually I wake up before you so there's no way you could of found out."
"I was very confused for a minute there."
She smiled with her half opened eyes and reached up with her hand, touched his scars on the side of his face. "I knew you'd find a way to figure it out."
"First you cut off your hair, now you growl in your sleep. What else do I need to know?"
"I bleed uncontrollably from my uterus once per month."
"… What?" He was taken aback there… unexpected would be an understatement.
She giggled at his face, brought it down to hers and kissed his nose.
"You shed twice per month and have an exoskeleton. The joys of being with an alien: knowledge."
"And adventure." He added sensually.
She chuckled closing her eyes and looked back up at his face.
"For an adventure indeed." She smiled as Garrus gripped her waist and tugged her back towards him to nuzzle his nose in her hair.
"How about we watch those vids Joker gave you?"
He chuckled. "I'm game."
* Weirdone17: Why thank you for pointing that out